Beauty Is Not Mysterious

Which of these two women is more attractive? (UPDATE below.)

Reader “potato” sent me a link to a story in the New York Times about a new software program known as a “beautification engine”:

The photograph on the right was doctored by the “beautification engine” of a new computer program that uses a mathematical formula to alter the original form into a theoretically more attractive version, while maintaining what programmers call an “unmistakable similarity” to the original. […]

Scientists took the data and applied an algorithm involving 234 measurements between facial features, including the distances between lips and chin, the forehead and the eyes, or between the eyes.

Essentially, they trained a computer to determine, for each individual face, the most attractive set of distances and then choose the ideal closest to the original face.

If you are honest in your assessment and not trying to score dorm room debate points on your not-so-humble narrator, then I predict 95% of my readers, male and female, will agree that the girl on the right is more attractive. The two photos are of the same woman. The girl on the right has been “beautified” by the software algorithm.

As I have been saying all along, beauty, especially female beauty, is not in the eye of the beholder. It is objectively measureable. And now, science is proving me right.

Studies have shown that there is surprising agreement about what makes a face attractive. Symmetry is at the core, along with youthfulness; clarity or smoothness of skin; and vivid color, say, in the eyes and hair. There is little dissent among people of different cultures, ethnicities, races, ages and gender.

Beauty is not only objective, it is universally agreed upon across cultures.

Yet, like the many other attempts to use objective principles or even mathematical formulas to define beauty, this software program raises what psychologists, philosophers and feminists say are complex, even disturbing, questions about the perception of beauty and a beauty ideal.

Let’s run this paragraph through the patented Poon Translator:

“Yet, like the many other attempts to use objective principles or even mathematical formulas to define beauty, this software program raises what Freudian holdovers, blank slate believers and ugly women say are personally disturbing truths about the perception of beauty and a beauty ideal they’d rather sweep under the rug or obfuscate with all manner of sophistry.”

Much clearer!

“How can they prove it?” said Lois W. Banner, a historian who has studied changing beauty standards, referring to scientific efforts to define attractiveness. “They are never going to locate it on a gene. They are never going to get away from the cultural influence.”

The problem with reading the New York Times is that it needs to be run through the Poon Translator in its entirety to get at the nuggets of truth buried under the mounds of evasive bullshit. For example, the above quote should read:

“How can they prove it?” said Lois W. Banner, an insulated ivory tower inculcated leftwing pseudo-historian who has studied Reubens the lone fatty fucker and thinks that proves there were changing beauty standards, referring to scientific efforts to define attractiveness. “I’m praying to my atheistic god that they will never locate it on a gene. My pointless career, and my fragile feminist ego, is on the line so I will tirelessly obstruct real science to ensure they never get away from the comforting cultural influence explanation.”

The Poon Translator — Serving the Truth since 2007.

So what did the above woman think of her new, scientifically beautified, face?

She said she was struck by how different she looked in the second shot.

“I think the after picture looks great, but it doesn’t really look like me at all,” she said in an e-mail message. “My entire bone structure, face shape and eye size is different, and my lip color looks changed as well.”

She added, “I would like to keep my original face.”

Imagine seeing a better-looking version of yourself as calculated by a computer program. What a soulkilling ego rape that would be. I can almost feel the shiver that must’ve run down her spine.

While several psychological studies over the last few decades also suggest that perceptions of beauty and attractiveness tend to be universal, critics of that work say it is debatable whether a person’s beauty is actually enhanced by such changes. Character can be lost. A blandness can set in. The quirky may become plain.

The Poon Translator is working overtime:

“While several psychological studies over the last few decades also suggest that perceptions of beauty and attractiveness tend to be universal, critics of that work prefer to stick their heads in the sand. Ugliness can be lost. Attractiveness can set in. Warpigs may have a chance at love.”

After viewing the before and after photographs of anonymous subjects in Mr. Leyvand’s research paper, Dr. Banner, who is a professor of history at the University of Southern California, said the original faces were more attractive.

I’m sure the good professor has deconstructed the term “attractive” to mean whatever the hell he feels it should mean to support his equalist worldview, so that he could say the above with a straight face.

“Irregular beauty is the real beauty,” said Dr. Banner, adding that such attempts to measure beauty are driven culturally by sameness, making everyone look alike.

This is incorrect. Liv Tyler and Bar Raefeli are both beautiful and yet no one would confuse them for the same person. “All look same” is a common meme among the anti-objective beauty brigade, but reality proves that the definable parameters of beauty can coexist with individual distinctiveness.

“We have always had a huge industry to make people look better,” Dr. Etcoff said. “Everyone wants to look better. And we keep taking it further and further to all these images that have been doctored. There is a whole generation of girls growing up who think it’s normal not to look the way they really look.”

Whenever I hear “a whole generation of girls” I know a torrent of mushheaded muddle is on the way. How about a more parsimonious explanation: There have always been less attractive girls who wished they were more attractive because they intrinsically understand that their beauty is the most important trait they can barter on the sexual market.

I say bring on the beautification engines and genetic enhancements. If morality is the promulgation of happiness to the greatest number of people, then my opinion in this matter makes me the most moral fucking bastard in the world.

UPDATE

Here is the PDF of the study referenced in the New York Times article:

http://www.cs.tau.ac.il/~tommer/beautification2008/attractiveness2008.pdf

The test subjects are pictured in that report. I stand by my conclusion that the trend is obvious: Most of the subjects experienced a 0.5 to 3 point bump up the looks scale. Bardot and Brando would seem to be odd outliers. I suspect very extreme beauties, like famous actors and actresses, could suffer a hit from a beautification algorithm because the software doesn’t take into account the tail ends of the beauty bell curve where particularly unique facial features like Bardot’s lips might scramble the software processing.

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Sexbot Update

Getting closer.

THIS is the most life-like robot suit ever – the cyber girl Repliee R-1.

Based on a real five-year-old Japanese girl, this machine was built to look just like a human.

The technology isn’t there yet to overcome the uncanny valley, and many will scoff that this is a long way off from hot and good-to-go sexbots, but the vector trajectory is unmistakeable. The future is men fornicating with robot women that are hotter than the human women they can score, and this possibility is no longer in the realm of science fantasy.

I am not surprised the Japanese are leading the way on the sexbot revolution.

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What Kind Of Man Uses A Hooker?

UPDATE BELOW

I know two friends who solicited the services of whores. Their stories, despite the superficial differences, are disturbing yet humorous. I understand prostitution is pretty normal throughout the world, and even encouraged in some parts to help young men without means alleviate their swollen scrotes, but it still sounds strange to hear my American friend admit he paid for sex.

I don’t get the allure. Even during my driest spells I never entertained the option of paying a whore for a nut-relieving bang. I was never so lazy that handing over a few bills to a skank seemed like an acceptable substitute to going out and grinding my way through the field until I found a skank who wouldn’t request cash up front. Also, I’m a romantic at heart. I need to know the woman wants to be there.

I think most men would agree with me that it’s hard not to feel like a loser if you paid for it. But would you be?

Friend A drove to New York back when the city still had some gritty grottos. He enthusiastically described the scene for me. He pulled his car up to the curb between two street lights at 3AM, rolled down his window, and within a minute a mid-20s stringy-haired brunette stumbled up in her heels. They spent a few seconds bartering and she got in the car on the passenger side. She was efficient and skilled, unbuckling his belt, unzipping his pants, and freeing his member in one smooth uninterrupted motion. As her head bobbed up and down on his lap he leaned back with an ear-to-ear grin on his face, locked his hands behind his head, and stared up at the roof of his car. A random pedestrian shuffled by and paid him no notice. At the moment of sweet release, he jerked and hit his head on the roof while knocking her into the steering wheel. She continued unfazed. It was all over as soon as it had begun. My friend remembered pondering Socratic-like during the act how easy and convenient it had all seemed. He seemed not to nurse any psychic distress over his decision to advertise failure in the sexual marketplace.

Friend B would frequent a Korean-run “massage” parlor for their “happy endings”. Heaven to him was having some random Asian bring him to climax with the professionalism and dedication to craft of a Samurai. The place he went to was known by the local cops. They never cracked down because they were enjoying the same services. My friend told me the Asian girls who worked there were really robotic about the whole thing. They would bark orders at him to undress and turn over, and then pump his cock like a piston after applying a variety of Oriental herbs and lubes. Usually the girl had tiny hands and had to stimulate him with both, which made him feel like a bigger man and boosted his ego major. She utilized a twisting motion that my friend described as the “Secret Asian Stroke”. Occasionally, another female employee would casually amble in and out of the room to get something while he was in the middle of his happy ending. After he busted, his little China girl would towel the gobs off and say “OK, you done now. Get dressed.” and perfunctorily exit the room, leaving him there in the empty room with a desktop statue of Buddha grinning at his deflating penis.

***

You probably have an image in your head of these two guys being total losers; short, fat, acne-ridden, greasy-haired, socially inept, smelly, poor, binge-drinking omegas who creep out girls before they’ve even opened their mouths, and you’d be half right. One of the guys was married to an attractive woman, had a good-paying high status job, and could charm the skirts off girls at parties.

Does that fact change your perception? They both did the same thing — paying money to a whore for sexual gratification — and yet for some reason the visceral reaction to peg these guys as losers for visiting prostitutes is not as strong for the married guy. You ladies might even be amused by his antics, excusing them with the rationale that sometimes guys just “like the idea of paying for it from strange women”. Maybe you think he is an alpha whose wife gave him permission to blow off steam with nubile sex workers. Oh sure, you wag your finger at his sinful ways, but you don’t feel the same instinctual disgust for the alpha male who goes to a hooker.

Soliciting whores is a leading indicator of loser betatude, but it isn’t a defining characteristic. Betas are and always will be men who disgust women because they aren’t as high status as the men women want to fuck, no matter what their moral virtue. Betas get no pass, all the blame, and no praise, regardless of the facts.

Can you guess which of my friends in the stories above was the loser?

Answer: Friend A was the loser. Try to imagine the quality of cheap hooker you’ll confront on deserted city streets at 3AM. Hint: It ain’t 5 diamond.

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Better Than

Alpha male > alpha female > beta female > beta male

30 year old bartender > 60 year old CEO > 30 year old computer nerd

Puppy > magic trick > palm reading > trendy shirt > showing up

Quality girl > slut > frigid ice queen

Sex with Bar Refaeli > sex with Bar Refaeli sexbot > sex with a 7 > sex with a 7 sexbot > sex with a 6 > masturbation > sex with the rest

Red wine > white wine

Barely Legal > Youporn > cumpilations > SI swimsuit issue > tubgirl

Charismatic alpha > asshole > gentleman > niceguy > morbidly obese loner

Sports star with no game > pickup artist > average guy with game > average guy with no game

Sex addict meeting > house party > bar > street > club > work > NAAFA mixer

Cheating man > cheating woman

Abortion > ward of the state

Voluntary formal eugenics > informal eugenics as currently practiced

For men: Fame > game > wealth > sense of humor > looks

For women: Looks >>> everything else

Thursdays > Saturdays

Multiple long term relationships > single relationship spiced with flings > monogamous relationship with quality girl > serial flings > one night stands > monogamous relationship with girl you don’t love > death > celibacy > marriage to a warpig

Not lying for sex > lying for sex > lying for relationship > lying for no sex > not lying for no sex

Indirect game >= direct game

Raw dog > blowjob > condom > blowjob with condom > couch crease > warpig crease

Big real tits > small real tits > fake big tits > no tits

Whore > golddigger > ex-wife

Maxims > blind faith

Me + perfect woman > perfect woman

Sex with love > sex with no love > no love with no sex > love with no sex

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In Defense Of Cougars

In yesterday’s post, commenter Joel included a link to a letter by Benjamin Franklin to a young man extolling the virtues of no strings attached sex with older women. I reproduced it here because it is so damn funny… and true!* Ben was such a card. I especially like his Reason #5.

***

Benjamin Franklin, Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress (1745).

June 25, 1745

My dear Friend,

I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. Your Reasons against entering into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient.

But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:

1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor’d with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.

2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.

3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc’d may be attended with much Inconvenience.

4. Because thro’ more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin’d to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.

6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.

7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.

8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!

Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend.

***

*Still, I’m not sure even all Ben’s sensible reasons together would be enough to compensate the loss of sensual pleasure accompanying the sight, scent and feel of the older woman’s body and odours.

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The Easiest Way To Bang A Hot Chick

If you are a beta who lacks the game, attributes, or status to bed 8s and above there is hope for you. By choosing your targets wisely, you can experience the exquisite and unparalleled pleasure of having sex with a hot girl — the kind of girl normally reserved for the apex alphas at the top of the human food chain. The trick is in knowing how to identify the most responsive targets.

I’ve devised a search and seduce target designation system for finding the hottest girls most likely to give it up to a sub-alpha such as yourself. Each of the factors listed below corresponds to better odds that the hot girl who has that problem will date and bang you. As the “negative” traits accumulate, the odds of hot girl sex increase exponentially rather than linearly.

• Over 25
  Odds increase by: 10% for each additional year, -20% age 30, +30% ages 31 and up

Obviously, the window to take advantage of the Age-Leg Opening association is small, perhaps only 5 years, because past a certain age her legs will no longer open to the vagina of an 8, but a 6 or less. And if you’re going to settle for 6 vaginas, you may as well limit your efforts to young 6s. In the rare cases where a woman manages to stay hot into her 30s, expect the Age-Leg Opening association to temporarily reverse around the age of 30. This is because all single women experience a delusional reevaluation of their marketability when they hit the milestone of 30. They play hard to get one last time in hopes they can recapture the glory of their youth. Of course, this phase ends quickly as she rediscovers reality and spinsterhood looms. After this brief but frantic period when she has gone through the five stages of cougar grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance* — she’ll adjust her Leg Opening Quotient incrementally until she stops being invisible to men.

* Future post.

• Single Mom
  Odds increase by: 50% for the first kid (85% if a Downs Syndrome kid), 20% for each additional kid

A hot chick’s kid will give you the second biggest bang for your buck (see below for the biggest hot pussy discount). Since it is ingrained in men to avoid investing their precious resources into the raising of another man’s spawn, especially if that other man was some badboy who stretched out her vagina and left a stargate for you to have frictionless sex, a woman who is raising a kid on her own due to poor judgment, getting dumped, or divorce (75% chance it was initiated by her) will be the most congenial date you will ever experience. There will be zero shit testing and she will have nothing but smiles for you. Her hand will be on your thigh within five minutes of meeting, and she will pay for your drink out of courtesy for the time taken from your busy schedule to meet her. A single mom who has the night free because her kids are at grandma’s is good to go before the first drinks arrive. They often have condoms in their purses, glove compartments, medicine cabinets, nightstands, and in a secret compartment behind that portrait of great-aunt Gertrude. You should definitely wear your own bulletproof condom with a single mom because you know you are dealing with a fertile woman and one who will be tempted to entrap you old school style. Flush the used condom immediately after you are done. They are that desperate.

Note: Avoid tripping over toys and landing on your erection.

• Physical Deformity
  Odds increase by: 20 – 150%, depending on severity of disfigurement

This is by far the most advantageous flaw a hot chick can possess. A perfect 10 with a physical deformity, even something trivial like a missing pinky toe, will devalue her own beauty. The worse the deformity, the lower her self-esteem will drop and the higher her character will rise. A 10 with a missing boob will think and act like a 7. Missing an entire leg? She’ll be a de facto 4. Hermaphrodite? Her secret shame will put her on the level of a morbidly obese smelly hausfrau. Naturally, you’ll want to focus on those disfigured women whose abnormalities don’t detract from their pretty faces or sexy bodies. The girl with the missing arm from this post qualifies. A girl with a moustache or steatopygia would not.

Note: Personality deformities have NO EFFECT on a hot chick’s self-appraisal. In fact, a seriously flawed personality may actually boost her ego, as she will continue to get attention from men no matter how poorly she behaves, and will assume it means, using chick logic, that her shitty attitude is what keeps them coming back for more.

• Former Fatty
  Odds increase by: 10 – 70%, depending on length and heft of fat phase

Yet another goldmine for the beta who wants to taste the forbidden fruit of exceptional pussy. A former fatty, by dint of her painful past dealing with the cold stares of indifference and sneers of cruelty, will be grounded and grateful for male attention. A former fatty’s mindset is still that of the fat girl she left behind – the mind changes slower than the body. The time to strike is when her memories are strong and her reconstructed body is tight. The fatter a former fatty was, the more appreciative she will be of your romantic interest. A 300 pound whale who slims down to a svelte 120 pounds will attack you sexually with the zeal of a released inmate let loose in a brothel after 20 years in the hole.

Caution: The longer a former fatty is skinny, the more her soul will twist into the corrupted spectre of a self-absorbed egomaniac princess. You’ll want to catch her before her horrible memories fade (think “Silence of the Heifers”), she swaps loyal down to earth friends for superficial hottie friends, and hundreds of betas throw themselves at her feet.

• Recent Divorcee
  Odds increase by: 20% if she filed for divorce, 40% if her ex filed for divorce

A recent divorcee wants to feel attractive again. She probably hasn’t had sex with her husband in years and relishes the prospect of intimacy with fresh cock. A divorcee is different than a rebound. Most hot girls on the rebound will keep their standards. A hot divorcee will lower them; she has been insulated and out of the dating scene so long that your fawning beta attention will be attractive to her. Double plus leg-spreading points if her husband left her in the middle of the night for a stripper half her age. She will crave your sexual desire. Expect to feel like the woman on any date with her.

• Foreigner
  Odds increase by: 60% if she is from a patriarchal culture (Russia), 30% if she is from a feminized culture (Sweden), 80% if she is from a dirt poor patriarchal culture and she’s trying to get a green card

The theory of hybrid vigor and the “expert from afar” psychological phenomenon makes hot foreign pussy very attainable for the average American beta male. Even interstate travel can increase the odds of a beta scoring pussy normally out of his reach, thanks to the automatic deference that girls give to strange men from faraway lands. (Hotel bar + traveling salesman = fling.) You will do very well with an East European green card whore who has little sexual experience with foreign men. The fact that East European women are significantly more beautiful than American women is just icing on the cake. With the right motivation and travel itinerary you could conceivably pull your first 10.

Note: Due to the hypergamous trajectory of feminized Western cultures where the hot women are accustomed to sharing the top 20% of men and the leftover betas are sniveling papoose-wearing spineless turds, your exotic foreign aura won’t be as effective at landing that bombshell Swede without supplemental alpha traits.

Conclusion

Beta, desperate, and settling is no way to go through life, son. You don’t need to fantasize what sex with a really hot girl feels like, anymore. By zeroing in on girls with any combination of the above characteristics, you can greatly improve your odds of banging quality pussy.

There aren’t many guarantees in life, but if you find a hot 29 year old, single Russian mom with four Downs Syndrome kids, a superfluous clitoris and a missing engagement ring finger, who used to weight 450 pounds, and whose husband divorced her yesterday before her citizenship was approved, sit back and relax, betaboy. Your job is done.

Happy hunting!

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Stray Thoughts On The Nature Of The Game

Don’t answer all of a girl’s questions, especially when it feels like you are being interrogated. Refraining from giving her satisfactory answers helps move the seduction forward in two ways. One, it builds mystery. Two, if you answer all her questions she has more material with which to judge you when she gets home after the date and mulls everything over in her chaotic head. Don’t be surprised if you don’t get a call back after you have dutifully answered all her questions.

***

The best reason to learn game is that it is a shortcut to a woman’s pussy and heart. With game, you can stop wasting years as an empty vessel of society’s expectations scraping and clawing your way into a respectable bourgeois existence for your shot at one mediocre pussy and a gift registry at Williams & Sonoma. There is no need to become an “alpha among men” when you can skip the middleman and go straight to becoming an “alpha among women”. Of course, becoming an alpha among men is fun in its own right, but it’s no longer necessary to enjoy a life filled with the love of beautiful and sexy women. In fact, it never was necessary.

***

When the revelation that there is nothing after this life but the illimitable black void is grasped, hedonism is the only logical answer.

***

When a girl asks you “What are you thinking about right now?” know that this is code for “I’m really falling for you and want to know if you feel the same about me.” Don’t be an earnest beta and make the mistake of taking the bait! Avoid saying “I think I’m in love with you” or “I’m thinking about us” at all costs. Instead, say something like “I can’t think right now because you’ve paralyzed my thoughts.” Or, if you want to keep it simple, say “Um, nothing.”

Maxim #6: Never Make It Easy For A Girl

– Sometimes a girl will drop a stinky bait. Don’t bite! She wants to chase you around the lake forever.

***

Never tell a girl you are looking for a relationship. Many girls will ask, sometimes as early as the first date, what you are looking for from women. For the love of all that is holy and sacred do NOT say you are in the market for a relationship. Similarly, never say you wouldn’t mind “settling down”, or that you are discouraged by the dating scene, or you really wish you could stop dating around and find the right girl. It doesn’t matter if you truly feel this way; saying any of these out loud, especially to a girl you have just started dating, is poison to the seduction. Best to either ignore her probing question or answer vaguely along the lines of “I dunno, just dating until I find a girl I click with.” Also, saying “Whoa, not so fast tiger!” can be funny and stimulating to her vagina.

***

Slap your girl’s ass in public once in a while, hard. Territorial pissing is a turn-on in small spurts.

***

When you are with your girl and another alpha male is the center of attention (let’s say by being funny, or juggling balls) the best thing you can do is casually and briefly acknowledge his talents and otherwise ignore him. She will poke you for weakness whenever a bigger dog struts on the scene, so you’d be smart to be aware of this irrepressible female urge and not get defensive. NEVER imply that a bigger alpha is a threat to you, either in anger or in sarcastic putdown. You are who you are, which is the best she will ever have, so if some guy is a great karaoke singer and you’re offstage enjoying the show it’s no big deal — his skills cannot begin to compete with your total package, so you are free to compliment him without a hint of resentment.

Maxim #7: Your girl will thank you for your steadfast devotion to your belief in yourself.

***

When your girl buys you something or gets you a present, don’t immediately buy her something in return. No girl wants to feel like you got her a gift out of obligation. Tit for tat kills the sexy fun vibe. She appreciates your gifts when you are motivated by nothing else but your warm feelings for her. In this vein, it’s better to give her gifts at random times, rather than on birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays.

***

Speaking of gifts, the best players I know buy their girls NOTHING. And their girls love them with everything they have. Talk about trashing societal admonishments.

***

As a birthday gift for your girl, a grape seed oil massage beats a tennis bracelet EVERY TIME.

***

If you want to save money, doing things for a girl is always better than buying things for her. So, for example, learn photography and shoot sexy nude black and white photos of her. Or take her for a ride on a scooter through the countryside. She’ll appreciate that a lot more than a trendy item with a high price tag.

***

Fucking a girl right is worth more than a $20,000 engagement ring. I am not kidding.

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