Archive for the ‘Tool Time’ Category

Conan O’Brien, caught in the vapors of a major virtue signaling attack, went to Haiti for a three-day show special to troll Trump about his labeling Haiti a “shithole”, and to morally preen before his un-vast audience of soy-saturated snarklibs. Oh, and to blatantly lie about his real opinion of Haiti.

What followed was an epic self-own and the germination of a new 4chan meme: #ConanHaiti featuring Conan’s coconut mug drinking face ‘shopped into photos of the real Haiti that liberal Whiteys sticking to the designated tourist area don’t (want to) see.

First, the self-ownage in the photo Conman O’Brien posted ostensibly to needle Trump and his Heritage America Army.

You’ll notice in the background that, outside of the swanky resort perimeter Conman was staying at, the hills of Haiti are completely denuded of leafy vegetation. That’s because the local shitholies burnt everything for firewood and let their pigs and goats roam free to reproduce past the ecology’s carrying capacity.

Also, that coconut he’s drinking from likely was imported from an island that still has coconut trees. And why is his hair dry? Poseur, much?

Conman was staying at the Wahoo Bay Beach Resort, a heavily guarded and patrolled tourist trap that the average Haitian would love to rob blind and machete to death the pale guests if they could get past the locked and loaded security.

He was at one of the finest resorts in Haiti, the rates for which are $254 a night, which is a very a hefty price for a country where the average person makes a little over $400 a year.

Conman’s virtue snivel was so egregious that shitlords brought the meme magic with a fury. Incoming!…

As soon as establishment comedians give in to the urge to toe the shitlib line, they stop being funny. Sanctimony was meant to be mocked by comedians, not adopted as a central theme of their act.

This is why we on the Maul-Right are winning. We’re the mockers, now. And the libs are the mocked. Only good things can come from this cultural realignment. Good things…..like, oh, Truth and Beauty.

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After you read this incredibly Millennial news story, you’ll understand why I titled this post “The Voluntarily Sexless Marriage” instead of “The Voluntarily Celibate Marriage”. Our platonically married couple isn’t celibate at all; they’re just celibate for each other.

The sexless marriage is a timeless rue with an explainable kernel of pedestrian truth to it, but at least it can be said for men trapped in age-independent sexless marriages that their woeful predicament wasn’t contractually inked before the vows were exchanged. Not so for Tiffany Trump’s newlywed friends:

When New York socialites Quentin Esme Brown and Peter Cary Peterson got hitched in Las Vegas over the weekend in front of a small group of friends — including Tiffany Trump, who acted as the flower girl — they knew that people would make some assumptions. Either they were madly in love or drunk, right? In reality, the best friends said they were neither. They’re planning to make theirs a sexless, open marriage, they explained, and this actually sounds like a pretty wise idea to relationship experts.

100% of chaimstream media approved “relationship experts” are charlatans.

“Sexless marriage”. An irretrievably broken, anhedonic society at war with the reality of innate sex differences takes the one redeeming feature of marriage and tosses it away.

A sexless marriage is pointless, but a sexless, OPEN marriage is just plain malicious, because those super progressive, feminist friendly polyamorous arrangements never benefit both parties equally; it’s usually the slutty woman getting her rocks off down the hall as her moans of ecstasy drive her incel “partner” crazy with murder-suicide ideation.

“He has always been my soulmate in every sense of the word

Women and men have competing definitions of “soulmate”. Men tend to emphasize the “mate” part of the term.

and we felt mutually that Vegas was the place to finalize our commitment to partnership,” Brown explained on Instagram. “Peter and I are not romantically involved — in fact we are still dating others and will continue to seek love in all forms — we are just each other’s hearts and wish to begin our journey towards evolution, because the more we face reality, the more we can see that there is no right or wrong.”

Poopytalk. They’re doing the opposite of facing reality; they’re hiding from it under cover of Clown World’s Cloak of Inchoateness. If Tiffany Trump’s friends are indicative of Tiffany’s own views, it’s no wonder Papa Trump practically disowned her.

Susan Pease Gadoua, a licensed therapist

Licensed to bilk.

and co-author of The New “I Do,” has yet to meet anyone else with this kind of marriage, but she says it fits in with the way she sees many people deciding to change the rules to suit their relationship needs.

Dope. People aren’t changing the rules to suit their piques; they’re lowering their expectations and adapting to the encroaching jungle.

“We don’t need to get married for any of the reasons we used to,”

Including but not limited to reasons such as reproduction and generational continuity.

Gadoua tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “Once you’ve got everything else in place, it is like the cherry on top.”

But Brown and Peterson don’t seem to have married for children. So why get married at all?

The question with no answer that won’t sound like a try-hard rationalization.

“We did this because we wanted to finalize our commitment to each other as life partners and best friends,” Peterson wrote on Instagram.

What happened to mutually presumed and unspoken loyalty between friends? If you have to rely on the imprimatur of State authorization to declare your shared friendship, you don’t have anything remotely resembling a friendship. Instead, you have a pose. Two attention whores jockeying for social status within their group of unloveable weirdos.

Brown also put a statement on Instagram, saying, “I am confident my husband and I will break some walls down,” she wrote.

If your official terms of endearment preclude fucking, he’s not your husband.


before 1000; Middle English husband(e), Old English hūsbonda master of the house

You haven’t consecrated a house for him to master. You’re two neutered farm animals who happen to be dozing in the same bed of hay and dried manure.

“A lot of these sorts of marriages are in response to society getting increasingly isolated, and people want to create a kinship model. You either have to be married or you have to be blood relatives; otherwise, you can walk away from each other.”

Like I wrote, adaptation to the r-selected jungle.

This kind of union may in fact last longer than a marriage based solely on intense romantic attraction, Gadoua surmises.

Well, sure. Because it isn’t a marriage. It’s a zero-investment masquerade. It’s easy to let a “sexless, open marriage” linger for eternity because the cost of upkeep and dissolution is negligible. No romantic reward, no romantic risk.

The other advantage is that the friends can seek out those romances outside of this relationship. In this way, their setup resembles the kind of polyamorous arrangement that some couples have found to be a better alternative to divorce.

“Some couples” = a few physically and psychologically repulsive losers who can’t hack it in the human sphere where standards still exist.

“Where the complications are going to come in is when people outside their relationship look at it like, ‘I don’t want to get involved in that,’” Gadoua says. “It’s going to make it a little bit more complicated for them to find partners who understand.”

GIRL: hey I’m free for that drink Thursday, but I should tell you I’m married to a great guy, but we never have sex. It’s in our vows.

THE DEVIL’S HARD BARGAIN: fantastic! you sound totally normal. I’m scratching you in now as my third stringer.

Rodman also cautions that this won’t work if one partner isn’t being entirely honest about what he or she wants in this relationship.

“If one person was secretly hoping that this would turn into something romantic or sexual, then that would be quite the disappointment,” she says.

The Voluntarily Sexless Marriage is the next evolution in beta male bait. Watch for hordes of thirsty betas to jump in with both feet hoping a piece of worthless paper has the power to unplug the tingle spigot.

But if we’re to take Brown and Peterson at their word, they’re pretty happy with their decision so far.

“We have one life,” Brown wrote. “Free yourself!”

Combined IQ: 1

Time for a Phys Quiz. The glowing, and strangely tense, lovebirds:

Hm mm mm. So progressive! Tiffany Trump’s friend married her gay bestie. Cameras and Yahoo blog typists are standing by….

PS I was planning to award Peter Peterson both the coveted Beta of the Month and White Male Pussy of the Month titles, but as you can see from the picture above, those titles aren’t applicable.

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It goes by other names:

The Male Feminist Rictus
Soylent Grin
The Soyboy Void
The Castrate Gape
Moneyshot Face
The Shartle
The Prog Agog
The Awestruck Chucklefuck
The Human Gloryhole

Apparently, these low T wonderboys are mimicking an emoji. Grown nerds reduced to male bonding across a vast cultural emptiness via an iphag cartoon face, linking up in a shared snark experience so they can forget for a second how much time they spent in lockers. The always invigorating TOG put it best,

Nerds are always mining the internet for quirky frontier jibberish that they can then copy and emulate and pass off as their own to other nerds IRL.  However all the nerds are online in the current year +2 and they’re all seeing the same cultural references at the same time so theres no originality, no character, no uniqueness – just the same quotes from the same latest episode of GoT.  Emulating emojis is just the latest iteration of this trend. Before this it was emulating anime characters and before that it was emulating saturday morning cartoon characters and sci fi characters.  These broken f****ts are brainwashed by jewish media 100%.  They cant wait for the next episode of Rick and Morty to come out so they can memorize it fast as possible to get all the snarky lines and regurgitate them back to their robot nerd friends so they can sound and act like the nerd actors they have been programmed by Hollywood to emulate.  This has been the problem with our culture since jews took it over about 100 years ago.  The jews demoralize the American population to control us; they make us feel weak, ineffective and worthless using tv advertisements to make it seem as if the only option to not be weak is to act like Sloth Rogan, or act like Will Smiff, or act like Ross from Friends.  All the ugly beta nerds are scurrying around trying not to look like ugly beta nerds and the best they can come up with is emulating Hollywood programming and mimicking cartoon facial expressions.  All they have to do is some light aerobic exercise, lift weights and eat right but they refuse.

Personally, I think these nümales are subconsciously assuming a submissive facial expression. The whole world is a silverback ape to them (including the women) and they respond with a gaping piehole showing both rows of teeth to assuage predators that they mean them no disrespect nor designs on their primacy.

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Fred Reed, shilling again for his Mexican mamacita, the pro-White Mexican government, and the Mexican cartels no doubt itching to behead an expat gringo if he doesn’t sufficiently tongue bathe their country, gave his game away with this leetle throwaway line:

…succeeding generations [of illegal beaners in the US] are losing their identification as Hispanics, also hardly a surprise, and also that intermarriage is high. Is this not assimilation?

Yes, Fred, intermarriage is assimilation….because intermarriage is miscegenation, and as anyone with a lick of common sense knows, one way to bring disparate peoples together is to dissolve the genetic racial differences between them.

So Fred is on record as a believer in Race Reality, which makes him a racialist, or in today’s parlance, a racist. He also throws his support behind a soft genocide that, however voluntarily committed to, has the same result as a hard genocide.

Now, unlike Fred, who obviously hates human diversity (but loves elitist Diversity™), I appreciate human diversity and don’t want to see precious White genes and all that flows from those genes extinguished from the earth in a refried bean paste of brownly mediocrity that produces more flatulence than taste.

Enjoy the comments at that idiotic slobber sonnet from a nervous traitor to his new countrymen (for instance, Fred appears to be ignorant of recent history, thinking deportations are impossible though they have been accomplished twice in the US, under Eisenhower and FDR); the shivving of Fred’s old coot hide by so much Realtalk is a marvelous thing, and maybe it’ll knock some sense into him. Doubtful, though. That tequila taco can really cloud an old man’s mind.

“aye yi yi, Freeeeed, you tell those alt-gringoes to go to infierno, or you no get theees toniiiight….*points at her no-hipped sausage body cooch*….comprender mi big macho cigarhombre? you call them racists tu heeear meeee?! para la raza!!”

PS Hilariously, Fred posted a photo of a semi-attractive Latina to add filler to his weak sauce, and The Anti-Gnostic replied with more realistic photographic evidence of the sort of señoras hopping our border:


A great comment from The Question,

“Assimilation” essentially translates into not being able to talk about anything we disagree on that can produce conflict, which includes everything that gives people meaning and identity such as history, religion, customs, heritage, and tradition. The only thing we’ll be able to discuss is the weather, the clothing stores we shop at, which sports teams we vicariously live through, and which prescription drugs or booze we use to distract us from the misery of our collective situation.

It’s no wonder support for the First Amendment is declining as America gets browner: the invading hordes don’t give a rat’s whisker about the White Man’s principles, and the White Woman doesn’t want to hurt the invaders’ feelings so she’s more than willing to throw 1A under the bus. Fred doesn’t care about high-falutin’ abstractions like that though. He just wants to virtue snivel about racist White Americans.

Go fuck yourself, Fred, before the cartels do it for you. Your Mexican wife’s mood is not my moral crisis.

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White Knightism

White Knightism is just as bad as feminism. In fact, they’re air-kissing cousins. The predominant feature of a gynarchy is women taking offense at increasingly trivial perceived slights, while their White Knight coddlers aggressively move to restrict the freedom of people (particularly beta men) who are accused of offending m’ladies. It’s the mad hag-tool bag cycle, and the end game is stillborn romance, a parched dating scene, and suffocating anti-sex social norms and anti-male institutional rules which drive out any remnant of passion remaining between the sexes.

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Via. (direct link)

Shitlibs are children. Emotionally stunted, psychologically scarred, and physically androgynous, the schizoid shitlib deserves nothing more than dismissive contempt or sadistic trolling (Trump’s specialty). They are best treated the same way a parent would treat a misbehaving brat: with firm paternal discipline and withholding of their allowance.

Shitlibs aren’t really schizoid…not all of them, anyhow. I’m taking artistic license. They’d like to be called schizo, because it would excuse them of any personal responsibility for their elemental dishonesty. What they are is more sinister: unprincipled, disingenuous, double-talking sophists who will say anything, however self-contradictory or hypocritical, if it hurts their enemies.

Why bother reasoning with these emotionally incontinent headcases? They won’t argue in good faith, ever. The winning response to shitlibcanery is mockery and public shaming, until they crawl away to impotently fume with their fellow losers.

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Hey, here’s a great idea! Let’s destroy the cultural continuity, interpersonal trust level, institutional competence and transparency, and social fabric of our nation for a taquito food truck! Recipe? What’s that?


I can’t think of a stupider or more banally treasonous political philosophy than Ethnic Foodism. Our enemies are ridiculous. Only the media sustains this clown world, and their hold over the gooniversalism narrative is rapidly loosening.

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