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Recall the Comedic Theory of History.

What was once absurdist humor is now reality (Rachel Dolezal). So if you want to know what’s next served on the dinner plate of America’s decline, listen for themes in the repertoires of current comedians. (Remember Seinfeld’s “You must wear the AIDS ribbon!” gay fascism episode? Yeah, that came true, too.)

I wonder how much longer the predictive power of the Comedic Theory of History will last? If comedians are cowed by shrieking SJW mobs into becoming more PC and less incisive, their comedy will stop being the canary in the coalmine, (and stop being funny, as they come to sound more like the droning indoctrination of government apparatchiks).

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1963:

Hey! Little Girl
Comb your hair, fix your makeup
Soon he will open the door
Don’t think because there’s a ring on your finger
You needn’t try anymore

For wives should always be lovers too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
I’m warning you…

Day after day
There are girls at the office
And men will always be men
Don’t send him off with your hair still in curlers
You may not see him again

For wives should always be lovers too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
He’s almost here…

Hey! Little girl
Better wear something pretty
Something you’d wear to go to the city and
Dim all the lights, pour the wine, start the music
Time to get ready for love
Time to get ready
Time to get ready for love

– Jack Jones, “Wives and Lovers”

***

2015:

Dick is abundant and low value.”

– Alana Massey, disheveled, unloved skank.

 

(h/t reader M.L.)

 

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Possibly the most iconic charismatic alpha male jerkboy in pre-post-America movie history is the character “Bender”, played by Judd Nelson in the (all-white) cult classic The Breakfast Club.

On that topic, a reader writes,

I’ve watched this movie twice this month. You really have to appreciate Bender’s alphatude.

I think it would be fun to hear your take on him. To my surprise I’ve searched around the Manosphere and found zilch. You would think he would be the poster (man) for the Manosphere, at least Alpha of the Month!

Could it be that CH overlooked Bender as Exhibit Asshole of the jerk with the alpha attitude that is diggeth by yon maidens? I searched the archives and, scandaleux!, an ode to Bender is nowhere found. Pry your eyes, time to rectify.

Bender is the classic übercool, sarcastic, brooding, lone wolf neg machine who supercharges the sex fantasies of girls from good backgrounds. He has so many great scenes of game in TBC that it’s hard to pick a favorite, but this one — a quickie in a closet where Bender responds to Claire’s pregnant ASD inquiry about his feelings towards her earlier trick of putting lipstick on herself using only her cleavage — is (IMfactualO) the perfect distillation of charismatic jerkboy game in as few words as humanly possible.

Claire: Were you really disgusted about what I did with my lipstick?

Watch out! This is a scrumptious niblet of beta bait that Clarie tosses overboard to see if Bender goes all goopy on her. Most betas would promptly qualify themselves, along the lines of “no i was just kidding with you. how could i be disgusted by anything you do?”

Bender: Truth?

Bender knows what to do with beta bait. Tug on the line, get the girl excited that maybe you’ve bitten down on the hook, but attach an old shoe instead and watch her face light up when she reels it back onto the boat, happy that her feminine wile was so expertly subdued.

Claire: Truth.

Bender: *nodding as if saying ‘yes’* No. *follows up with award-winning smirk*

Unpredictability and playfulness are the alpha player’s coin of the womb. She expected a straight answer, he responded with a flirtatious contradiction in verbal and physical acknowledgment. In other words, he broke the courtship rules. And she loves him for doing that.

Bender’s alpha attitude is a fusion reactor of gina tingles. His kind is so rare and so in-demand by women that he’s practically his own gender, a subspecies of betamale flaccidus. Why aren’t there more of him, then? Maybe his subspecies is reproductively self-correcting, flourishing only when his numbers in the broader population are low.

The CH series, Great Scenes of Game in the Movies (GSGM), is a useful learning tool for men seeking to become the charming player who sets female hearts fluttering. Movies are fantasy, but fantasy reflects real life desire, otherwise no one would be interested in watching. Art must contain a kernel of truth to have any true effect on viewers.

Browse the archived GSGM entries
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
and the one that started it all, here.

PS a girly commenter (swkstudent) to the above Youtube video snippet, shocked and dismayed by what she saw, felt an incredible urge to volunteer this ego-fluffing platitude:

no she likes him because she knows deep down he’s not an asshole and he was honest with her

It still amazes me the lengths to which delicate flowers will go to avoid the bleeding obvious when the bleeding obvious isn’t kind to their comatose belief systems.

swkstudent, you can’t later rationalize your love for a jerk by insisting that deep down he’s not an asshole unless you first know he’s an asshole. Otherwise, Brian, the niceguy in TBC who’s clearly not an asshole and who’s honest with everyone, would be sailing the seas of Claire’s beaver brine. And yet he’s not. Fancy that.

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Check out the WOWJUSTWOW face on this broad (at 4:02) after Gavin McInnes drops a steaming deuce on a Feminist First Principle.

He’s basically right. Most women (read: non-reptiles) are happier raising kids than they are raising profit margins. Most men are happier in the office than they are at home changing diapers. Men and women are different to their cores, and feminism is a project of lies with the goal of eradicating those core differences. And if they can’t succeed at erasing biological reality, they’ll take their consolation prize by mangling public policy and laws until all men and women are miserable.

We need more hardcore pushback against feminism, and more WOWJUSTWOW faces wrested from the wretched witches.

Related: Sheryl Sandberg’s “Lean In” book more likely to hurt women than to help them.

Ms. Sandberg goes clueless on science throughout her book…

Heh.

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Reader walawala points out that one of the men approached for sex by a feminist humorist (contradiction in terms noted) in the “social experiment” video set forth as proof that men are 30% more interested in casual sex than are women had, himself, some serviceable game, which he used on his phony solicitor to amusing effect.

This is what prostitutes do…also she sounds insincere…I’d be creeped out. What this does show is the power of game.

Check out how the third [ed: fourth] guy in the Paul Bunyan shirt starts gaming her: “That’s a very weird proposition…” and flips the script so she’s now qualifying herself.

He appears at 1:10.

I can’t make out what she says to him after he says “and that’s very strange”, but it does sound by the tone of her voice that she is qualifying herself to him. Also notice that she drops her arms down to her sides, which indicates an openness to further conversation, unlike the repulsing crossed-arm pose she maintained with a lot of the men.

So yes, game can work on women, even when those women are feminist agitators on a mission of attention whoring.

The whole spectacle does raise an interesting (if unrealistic) game-centered thought experiment. What would you do if a bangable female stranger walked up to you and solicited you for sex? I mean, no fluff, no guff, just a straight-up proposition out of the gate?

If the girl was truly interested in sex — I have been cold approached a few times in my life by girls saying they wanted sex, once I translated their womanese into recognizable English (e.g., “do you want to leave and have a drink at your place?” –> “do you want to go to your place to fuck?”) — and her query was absolutely sincere (easy to tell), then the only game you need is “sure”, (if that). The less you say, the better, because more words can only increase the chance of jarring her out of her already maximally horny mood. KISS. Keep It Succinct, Stupid.

But, assuming that any girl who cold-twats you is a prankster having some fun, then you’ll need some game if you want a shot at turning her clown act into a love pact.

I can think of three charismatic responses that are better than the groinotypical replies most men would knee-jerk fall back on:

1. Call her bluff.

The black guy right at the beginning of the video goes direct on her (how about that? a black guy dispensing with the subtler arts of seduction!), and peppers it with a strong dose of Agree&Amplify. Go over the top. “Yeah, let’s go. Wait’ll you experience the pleasure of my ribbed condoms. By the way, do I have to stay the full night?” Why does calling her bluff work? It communicates all the right mate cues: “Here’s a man who must be accustomed to women’s sexual favors if he so boldly takes me at my whorish word.”

2. Disqualify her.

This is Paul Bunyan shirt guy’s preferred angle of parry. The advantage of initiating with DQ game is its shock value. That temptress will be thrown on her wobbly heels wondering if she has BO or something.

3. Amuse yourself.

To be flank, I think the Asian-ish guy (appearing at 1:24 in the video) has the best game for this weird situation. “Let me get some gatorade first”, spoken in a measured, steady cadence, anchored (presumably) by a dead-pan expression. Think about it… if you suspect a girl is fucking with you, wouldn’t you want to let her know you’re in on it? Have some fun, turn it around on her, and if she laughs (which she did), you might just make her rethink her reason for approaching you.

Whatever you do, DON’T say “R u srs?” That’s the kind of unconscious blurt that beta males find a comfy verbal fit. When you answer a girl’s sexual interest with “are you serious?” all you’re doing is influencing her perception of you in a negative direction. She’ll think you’re the kind of man who doesn’t get much action if he reflexively assumes a girl coming onto him is a cosmic impossibility.

One other take-home lesson from this video: Very few men have game. I’d put the number at three out of one hundred. With those odds, it’s no wonder game packs more punch per minute of conversation than any other male mate value attribute.

UPDATE

Commenter theasdgamer whips out the heavy semantic artillery and provides a very funny reply to a theoretical girl soliciting him for sex,

Maybe…do you do anal?

It is required.

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There are two shiv-shimmering lines in this scene from the underrated Tom Cruise movie “Cocktail”.

“I can’t see a thing without my contacts” is a fantastic neg, delivered with lighthearted insouciance and complete state control its teasing jab is quite subtle and therefore quite effective. It’s the kind of line you want to learn how to master when a woman gives you shit.

(Ask yourself as part of a self-improvement mental exercise: What would a beta male have done when so directly and acridly challenged by a hot broad?

Woman: “Excuse me, do I have ‘fuck me’ written on my forehead?”

Beta: *stammering* “Uh no, not at all, I was just…”)

But as good as that line is, the next game-savvy line Cruise’s character utters is better.

Woman: “You’re just full of compliments, aren’t you?”

Game-aware man: “Yeah… it kinda makes you curious, don’t it?”

What elevates that cocky riposte from great game to killer game? In a phrase: Script flipping. He has implied she is chasing him, not the other way around as it’s normally presumed to go in the realm of courtship. The man who co-opts a woman’s sexual prerogatives earns her curiosity.

You say a line like that, and you are ASSUMING THE SALE, which is a powerful game technique. It’s overconfidence on steroids. and chicks dig a man who’s full of himself. It’s also, in another sense, a nuanced disqualification of the woman as a potential lover. The subtext assaults her: “He risks my wrath and rejection. This guy can take or leave me. What’s he got going on?”

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Have you noticed the dearth of original ideas coming out of Hollywood? The problem is that a good idea needs a companion in the truth. And our culture has turned violently away from the truth. Consequently, novel ideas in all art forms are getting rarer.

Reader PA suggests a Crimson Pill movie idea that’s both fresh and honest.

I wonder if rape victims who experienced orgasms mid rape were capable of having vaginal orgasms in their normal lives.

You’re writing a screenplay for a drama/thriller involving a normal, happily married woman who was just brutally raped and came hard in the throes of the assault. Her husband is a normal blue-pill greater beta who suddenly finds her unable to have vaginal sex. The husband goes through tears and frustration, and self-defeating attempts at being “supportive” and then finds a crimson arts blog and makes a plan to transform himself into a Love-Heisenberg, to save the marriage.

Do you simply graft the script of “9 and 1/2 Weeks” from here on, or is there another approach?

Throw in a paint-by-numbers overcredentialed marriage counselor, a spiteful feminist BFF, and an undersexed white knight friend of the husband who secretly desires his wife, and you’ve got yourself boffo box office!

By the way, Fifty Shades of Grey, if you don’t already know, is a complete rip-off of the vastly superior Mickey Rourke-Kim Bassinger erotic movie Nine 1/2 Weeks. Ferkrissake, the male lead’s character name in Nine 1/2 is “John Gray”. I’m surprised critics have failed to note the similarities. It’s canny enough that the producers of Nine 1/2 (and the writer of the book on which the movie is based) have grounds to sue the fat pig who wrote Fifty Shades.

Bassinger’s character, Elizabeth, in Nine 1/2 also falls for a badboy with a sadistic streak. (Girls can’t help themselves.) There is a rape scene in which Elizabeth has a powerful orgasm. She is both bewildered and entranced by her body’s betrayal of her good sense. The movie has a sort of audience-stroking happy ending, when Elizabeth, deeply in love with John but emotionally broken by his intensifying manipulations (he has her watch a prostitute service him in a hotel room), leaves him, but in so doing turns her back on a piece of her womanhood. There’s a subtext that she will never joyously submit to that kind of fiery passion again.

(John should’ve balanced all that anxiety-inducement with some comfort. Game 101, man!)

Personally, I would take PA’s idea and make a feint toward a Nine 1/2 Weeks conclusion, except with a Walter White Breaking Badboy twist: The greater beta husband, upon elevating himself as the dominant force in his wife’s life and finally in a position to save their marriage (ironically via a route that mirrors his wife’s confusing rape experience), opts instead to succumb to the temptations of his reinvention. I’d also change the deus ex machina from a blog to a player buddy, or perhaps to a death row inmate with a pile of marriage proposals from adoring female fans. Internet-hemmed epiphanies don’t play well on screen.

Submission to a man worthy of it is engraved in a woman’s soul. She will deny it, the Hivemind will deny it, the pedestal-polishing plushboys will deny it as they politely discuss financial outlooks over the din of insistent pleat-imprisoned chubbies in sterile offices with gogrrl droids in pencil skirts, but when the blinds are closed and the darkness descends, every woman will arch her back to meet the lovely, exquisite pain of an icy caress.

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