A Test Of Your Game: Reversing Multiple Rejections

Reader rj4luv emails details of his quim quandary,

Gambler once said ..”once you ask for advice on a particular girl , you’ve already lost the game .”
I guess I lost.
So I am in college (18 yo , yup)
I got this girl X interested in me, (a lot of IOIs ,constantly gazing at me , Lot of arranging hair around me etc.)
When I asked for her number she was visibly blushing … So after a week (IOIs persist) I asked her out (total direct way, on face ) and she … rejected me , suggesting “another time ” (indefinite).
Anyways After 3 days of no contact I call her …Extremely High IOIs again (mixed emotions , audible laughing,and heavy breathing?) we talked for 20 min had fun (1st call) .She called me next day, didn’t pick up ;). I called the next day 20 min again same IOIs .
Then I stopped contacting her for a week, I was afraid of getting friendzoned .
So when we next met I could notice Her IOIs had increased … So I called her that night eventually asking her out (Didn’t ask on face again cause whole class was present)…she rejected me again giving “genuine” reasons ..which I knew were fake so instead of saying OK … I asked THRICE trying to sound a bit serious (to water down my ASUMMED high value, also assuming that she’s trying to show she’s not easy ) ..blam! it went bad I didn’t respond, no Goodnight nor bye ( I was angry, this was only way to show it without yelling )…and no contact from both of us from past 3 weeks .
So I am going to TEXT her (won’t call)( from your post how to win back ex gf ) going to keep it short .

Based on what you have written here, I would advise against this course of action. Remember, this girl was never your girlfriend, so you wouldn’t be “winning her back”, (as per the advice in that classic CH post.) She’s a girl who gazed at you and twirled her hair and rejected you twice (in that passive, kick the can down the road way that a girl will often utilize in order to keep a suitor on tenterhooks waiting for a change in her disposition and meanwhile flattering her ego with each passing day.)

So, Why after these heavy IOIs she rejected me TWICE
Is there a way I can win her back and eventually bang her?(She’s just 7 …still)

7 years old? Try Lollipop Game.

I keed I keed. Don’t be fooled by the objective attainability of 7s. The marginally pretty girl can be a bigger cocktease than the drop-dead hottie, owing in part to her greater need for validation and to the constant barrage of clumsy come-ons she gets from beta males too timid to approach hotter girls.

She was not my gf but she was one (ONLY)of the option ( 2 girls one turned out to be in LTR..that’s why)

She was not your gf. You can stop there.

so what to do after that short text?
Details: Both 18 , India

oy vhart.

(game works same )so no chance of drinks , yup she use to reply to my text ( Hiiiiii instead of Hi), didn’t ever text each other after we resorted to calling.

I wouldn’t read too much into that “Hiiiiiii”. A textual tremolo like that from a girl could just as easily indicate asexual friendliness.

Yes , you can use this for posting if it helps others along with name ( hide email though)
Help!

Forgot to mention …no kino happened only handshakes and high fives.

The kino is weak. The kino is weak? Fuck you the kino is weak! You don’t deserve the kino!

No, but really, that kino is weak. Handshakes (bleh) and high fives (less bleh) are the kinds of kino you want to achieve shortly after meeting a girl, not weeks and weeks later. It’s stepping-stone kino to more erogenous dales.

Here’s my take: One of two possibilities are in play.

1. She does like you in that kama sutra way, but you started to lose her when you spent the week between getting her number and asking her on a date doing nothing but texting back and forth. Then you unsealed the deal when she called you and you didn’t return her call until the next day. Look, my dot not feather friend, playing hard to get with a woman is counterproductive when she has given clear signals that she wants you to move the courtship forward. A girl calling out of the blue is a major IOI. Either pick up, or let her sweat for half an hour before calling back. Don’t wait a whole day. By that time, she will have figured in her girlbrain that you just weren’t interested enough in her, and she’ll pull the ripcord. To put it succinctly, you overgamed. Rescuing a pickup from bad overgaming is difficult.

2. She doesn’t like you in that kama sutra way, but she enjoys toying with you. If this is it, your winning move is NEXT.

Now it’s time to phone a friend, which means the Chateau studio audience. Imagine you, the reader, are in the same situation as rj4luv. Imagine, too, that scenario #1 is operative (you can’t know this for sure, but presuming it true allows A Test of Your Game to proceed with plausible intent).

What’s your next move with this girl? For the sake of experimental procedure, you’ve gotta do something, so what is it you do?

Best replies will be featured in a future post.

***

UPDATE

A lot of commenters will mention this, so I figured I’d add it to the post.

Women will MAKE TIME for men they desire. That means, if a girl says “another time” when you suggest a date, she really means “never another time”. It also means, if you are the kind of man a girl is really curious about, she’ll skip out on weddings and gyno appointments to make time for you. There are rare exceptions to this rule, and you will be able to tell when the exception is in play; you’ll hear the genuine disappointment in her voice and you’ll see the regret writhing her sexbody. If it’s over the phone, she’ll promptly counter-offer.

Maxim #30: A girl will always make time in her faux busy schedule for a man she likes, and when she can’t she’ll be the one to suggest another time.

What’s Old Is New Again

Charlesz Martel comments,

Essentially, the common ideas about race up to about the mid-1950’s are all turning out to be true- I.Q., creativity, aggression, conformity, sexual differences and desire of non-whites for white females, etc. The next 20-30 years will be the history of our race and culture relearning all that was once commonly accepted as obvious truth and discarded, and figuring out what to do with the mess that denial of these truths has created in the white western world.

I will essentially spend the rest of my life saying to anyone who will listen that ”I told you so!!!”

Don’t abide opinions that your grandmother would scoff at.

One of the reasons why CH resonates so forcefully with readers is because our field observations and keen eye corroborate what was accepted wisdom in our forefathers’ time. These mystic chords of memory are not so easily silenced by Hivemind thought suppression and reeducation.

Like I always say, the truth will win out… one way or another.

Boredom, Diligence, And Greatness

An inability to get easily bored may be racially distributed. Peter Frost discusses studies that show Asians are less monotony averse than Europeans, and this trait likely evolved from selection pressures created by rice farming. Probably related to this race difference in boredom avoidance, Chinese infants show a greater toleration to disturbance than do White infants.

A tolerance for boredom seems a prerequisite for diligence and studiousness. People who bore easily can’t sit still long enough to imbibe pages and pages of information. They have trouble finding personal satisfaction in rote learning. Conscientious students are often also risk averse and, less charitably, dull. But boy are they good at doing their homework and maximizing their GPAs.

In the context of modern credentialist society, a high tolerance for boredom is beneficial. Restlessness isn’t a trait of a good globocorporate cog. But boredom toleration can go too far, culminating as an inert man with a weak inner fire to propel him to greatness beyond his immediate practical concerns.

The personality sweet spot would be where focus, conscientiousness, curiosity, nonconformism, and yearning come together in a human supernova of creativity and accomplishment. This sweet spot may explain why Europeans dominated global exploration.

Alpha Of The Month: Errol Flynn

“Anonymous” compiles an extensive list of Errol Flynn’s exploits for consideration in the AOTM contest.

******

Submitting Errol Flynn for Alpha of the century award

a few interesting facts

>expelled from 3 schools by age 15 for having sex with the school laundress and constant fighting

>went to new guinea at age 18 to be a slave trader and gold prospector amongst other jobs and ended up killing a native in self defense, being tried for murder and being acquitted

>had a job as a sheep castrater in Australia but had to flee after his boss found him in bed with his daughter and threatened to shoot him with a shotgun

>nearly died after overdosing on medication to cure gonorrhea

>had his belly slashed open after getting into a fight with a rickshaw man over not paying him a tip

>had an affair with an 45 year old rich married woman in his early 20s and ‘borrowed’ her jewels off her bedside table before legging it, later when he became famous he attempted to track her down to pay her back

>when he first moved to Hollywood he let everyone assume he was from Ireland because it was ‘easier that way’

>When banned from drinking on a film set, he would inject oranges with vodka and eat them during his breaks

>beat the shit out of an extra on a film set because he knocked him off a horse

>One day on the set, director Vincent Sherman was dismayed to find that Errol had failed to appear on time for a scene. He got a female extra to go and retrieve him. 15 minutes later there was still no sign of Flynn. Sherman, irate, barged into Flynn’s dressing room – and was shocked to find him stark naked, having sex with the woman.The film in question? The Adventures of Don Juan!

>had to climb out the back window of a brothel in Cuba after a local girls school found out he was inside and all the students and teachers stood cheering and dancing outside waiting for his exit

>was constantly involved in bar brawls and fights with police throughout his life

>While filming an action-packed scene one day, famed director Michael Curtiz, a stickler for realism, ordered an army of extras to throw authentic spears at Flynn. In a fit of anger, Flynn, dodging a hail of lethal projectiles, raced across the set – and headed straight for Curtiz. The director’s response? He beat a hasty retreat – and promptly called out: “Lunch!”

>While visiting a lesbian bar in Paris one night, Errol noticed his girlfriend slow-dancing with a tough dike. Flynn stepped in to pick a fight – and was promptly punched out. “If they hear about this in Hollywood,” he gasped from the floor, “I’m finished.”

>once went waterskiing with his best friend David Niven and Davids girlfriend. He then cut the rope on Niven leaving him stranded in the sea full of sharks then zoomed off in the motorboat to have sex with his girlfriend

>hosted cockfights in his house

>once his beloved dog fell overboard and drowned and a snide columnist wrote a cheeky article about flynn failing to rescue his dog….When Flynn seen him in a restaurant one night he flattened him with a single punch, however he got a fork in the ear for his troubles off the columnists wife

>once tricked a Washington diplomat into showing up to one of his partys naked promising him a sex fueled orgy. He was let int he front door by a naked maid and instructed to remove his clothes. He did this with a big smile on his face at the sight of this beautiful naked maid. He was led into the party room where there was 30 fully clothed people all in uncontrollable laughter.

>bugged the ladies bathroom of his Hollywood mansion so he and his friends could hear what women were saying about them in the toilet. (from what he heard he concluded that women are much dirtier than men)

>Gossip columnist Hedda Hopper told a story about how Errol Flynn, angered about an item she put in a column about him, appeared on her doorstep. When she answered the door, he was facing her… masturbating.
“I began laughing,” Hopper said, “and continued laughing until he finished with a dramatic flourish all over my doorstep. I’ll say one thing for Errol. He’s the only man I know who can ejaculate in front of a fully dressed woman who’s laughing derisively during the entire process.” Flynn then said ”Will you invite me to come here again?”

>rejected from the US army for a number of health problems including a bad heart, malaria and numerous venereal diseases

>Was tried on 2 counts of statutory rape in 1942 but was acquitted

>met his second wife aged 18 years old while she was working at a snack counter in a courthouse during his statutory rape trial [ed: doubleplusheh.]

>the phrase ‘in like Flynn’ is coined after him referring to his success with women

>when he sold his mansion due to being in debt the new owners had 3 trucks come to take away the empty vodka bottles Flynn and his drinking buddies threw out the window into the ravine behind

>was a big supporter of and drinking buddies with Fidel Castro

>was rumored to put his own semen in the omelets he sometimes made for his guests

>loved to sail aboard his yacht. An admiring fan once got herself invited aboard and Errol showed her the view from below the deck. The fan’s husband angrily boated out to the yacht and demanded his spouse. The wife dove off Errol’s yacht and started to swim to her mate’s boat. Before she made it the husband sailed off. So did Errol.

>Flynn’s yacht was such a hotbed of sexual activity that he frequently flew a flag reading “FFF” – short for “Flynn’s Flying Fuckers.” Flynn kept tabs on everyone’s conquests in a score book, and presented notable performers with a badge depicting a penis.

>was nearly killed on multiple occasions at gunpoint after being caught by a man in bed with his wife

>stated that his behavior in brothels throughout his life had been exemplary and they were about the only establishment he was never thrown out of

>after John Barrymore’s death in 1942, director Raoul Walsh, actor Peter Lorre and a few other jokers, dragged his corpse into Errol Flynn’s living room while he was off drinking and sat it in a chair.When Flynn returned home from the pub, he took off his coat, nodded to Barrymore, took three steps toward the bar, and froze.”Oh, my God!” he cried, before cautiously approaching Barrymore and poking him. Flynn and the others promptly burst out laughing and they all had a well-needed drink.

>drank over a litre of vodka a day

>was a chain smoker his entire life

>bought a small island in the Caribbean but then lost it in a poker game

>died at age 50 from multiple organ failure due to alcoholism, autopsy showed he had body of 75 year old man when he died

>most famous quote ‘if i have any genius at all, its a genius for living’

******

According to the Gay Or Straight gaydar, Errol Flynn is very straight compared with other celebrities. (Although Flynn didn’t mind being rumored as bisexual. Rumors of that nature can actually work to a man’s benefit if he has a history of bedding thousands of women. What woman can resist a mystery, or a challenge?)

If even half of these tales are true, Flynn was a larger-than-life super alpha. I would call him a specific breed of super alpha, the Hell-Raiser. Reckless and self-destructive, the Hell-Raiser is the alpha male who constantly tempts danger and lives on borrowed time. His lack of concern for anything resembling good sense extends to his own well-being; Hell-Raisers often die young from the excesses of multiple vices.

Most Hell-Raisers are volatile and stupid (and highly attractive to good girls and women surrounded by weak and boring men). Flynn was that rare combination of the clever thrill-seeker who enjoyed the spectacle of fucking with the heads of his adversaries (and his friends). Still, like most impulsive, present time oriented Hell-Raisers, he couldn’t curb his drinking to prevent his premature death. Despite his love affair with the bottle, he was fortunate to have lived as long as he did, given his penchant for getting caught bedding the wives of angry husbands pointing handguns at him.

The Hell-Raiser with fame, looks and money is a force of nature few women can resist, at least not at first before self-preservation kicks in. His kind can rack up truly epic notch counts, partly on the strength of his allure to women, partly by the heedlessness with which he capitalizes on that allure. Live fast, die young, leave a thousand bastards (or broken hearts) behind.

How Not To Sound Defensive

Reader Mr. Meaner passes along a text convo with a girl that stands as an excellent example of solid reframing and grace under pressure,

Here’s a text convo I had with a Tinder girl:

Her: Hey, how’s it going?

Me: wow.

Her: Wow?

Me: you look like a nice one

Her: What is that supposed to mean?

Me: a nice fish… a nice GIRL! what did you think it meant.

Her: I didn’t like the way it came across. Word of advice, be more respectful and you may get further.

Me: slow down, i need to be wined and dined first.

Her: Haha oh I see, you’re a traditional lass then?

Her: Drinks?

Most beta males would’ve shrunk in shame and apologetics when the girl demanded respect. Mr. Meaner reframed into the classic “I am the one being chased” theme. This promptly tipped her off that she was dealing with a man who “gets it”, a devil-may-care alpha male, and her attitude dissipated as her poon petals flowered.

The Art Of Playfulness

Women love playful men. Playfulness, broadly defined, is nonverbal teasing. Or it’s the physical and verbal working together as an insincere form of taunting. Not many men are naturally playful, especially with attractive women. Men tense up in the presence of sexually enticing women, and this discomfort is anathema to cultivating a playful demeanor. Playfulness is lost with age, as well. Boys are breezily playful, but their effortless joy and naughtiness eventually succumbs to moodiness and the grind.

Not in all men, though. Natural Lotharios have a gift for retaining much of their youthful playfulness, which they love to display in the company of women. For example:

This girl buries her face in her hand and laughs because she has experienced a pleasant sensation: the mischievous flirtation of a cocksure cad.

Playfulness is attractive to women because it’s a type of humor. Women love funny men, and all that spazz. You don’t need to be jacked or ripped to tease a girl into a swirl of charged hormones. A six pack is great, but you know who’s going to get the girl more often, and be adored in loving honorarium by more girls?: The guy pulling playful stunts like the one above.

This is not to say playfulness has unlimited use. All play and no lay makes Jack a null void. Playfulness is like an indirect opener where the romantic intention is hidden under a layer of funnyman obfuscation. At some point, you have to drop the act and break the Fourth Wall, giving due to the sexual tension in a less joking manner. Excessive joking can quickly come to be perceived as emotionally distancing.

There’s one other reason women love playful men, and it’s the most crucial ingredient in the dynamic between the performer (man) and audience (woman). Playful men appear to suffer no worldly burden. They seem at ease, living in the moment, stress-free and unconcerned with public opinion. Leaders and charismatics share these traits, and women are powerfully drawn to such men. If we understand that women are attracted to certain male personalities that suggest an easy, worry-free life full of material comfort (and resources to be mutually enjoyed or effortlessly gathered), and bountiful choice in mates, then it makes sense that playful men trigger limbic love pulses in women.

Playfulness, then, is best seen as an indirect signal of female preselection (“he’s done this before with women and knows from experience it works”), outcome independence (“he doesn’t fear rejection or social opprobrium”) and self-assurance (“he’s not nervous or supplicating”). Playfulness is the opposite of desperation.

Using Uber Data To Avoid Sausage Fests

A neuroscientist working for Uber (the GPS-based personal taxi service) has compiled and analyzed its in-house data (your secrets are safe with them, they promise) and uncovered some interesting rider patterns in San Franswishco. Of particular interest to players on the make is the data that shows where in a city the girls are going out at night.

We used Rapleaf’s Name to Gender API to assess the likelihood of a rider’s gender given their name, only accepting a match if the probability was >= 95%. So someone with the name of Leslie remains unclassified because there’s only a 94.1% chance the name is from a female, whereas a boy named Sue would be misclassified as female with a 99.2% probability.

Any deviations above this line means that a neighborhood has more women taking rides into it than what we would expect given the number of men that take rides there. Deviations below that line are places where we see more men than we would expect given the number of women (actually, technically, places where we see fewer women than we would predict given the number of men).

What’s the gist?

– There are 35% more women in the Marina and 47% more women in Pac Heights on weekend nights than expected.

– Conversely, there are 23% more men in SoMa, 16% more in the Castro, and 14% more in the Financial District.

So if you’re looking for a guy, head to SoMa on a Friday night. If you’re looking for a lady, check out the Marina or Pac Heights!

This is the kind of information that is invaluable to PUAs. (Or really to any normal red-blooded man who wants to go to where the girls are, and not to where the sausage fests gather.)

I suppose you’d need some way to get your greasy mitts on Uber user data to geolocate the certified fresh sex ratios, unless an enterprising matrix hacker could design an app that pilfers such data for personal use.

Something like this would only work for a short while, as long as supply is limited. Once enough men get a hold of this dame data you have maybe a few hours before the sweaty hordes descend upon your vaghalla. And then the women leave.

And why do the women leave when too many men show up? Aren’t they there to meet men? That is a seeming paradox of female behavior that I will explain for you:

One, women don’t like to be reminded of their beauty ranking among other women. An audience of a few men zeroing in on the hottest three girls is bearable because it can be rationalized as happenstance. But a small army of men all gawking at the same three hotties is dispiriting to the lesser ladies.

Two, women don’t like to be around men stinking of sex-hungry desperation. They prefer the company, tangential or otherwise, of men who act as if they have their choice of the litter. And venues where the sex ratio is favorable to men tends to prime those men with the right proper attitude of choosiness that women love. A venue teeming with try-hard men ten strong to every one halfway-decent woman has the opposite effect on those women: It repulses them.

Three, women start to feel a little insecure when the testosterone reaches critical mass. Most notably, they begin to fear closing time solicitations from sloppy drunks. If the number of sloppy drunks exceeds the number of sober men and fat cockblock friends, it could be a real challenge to leave the place without a scene erupting.

Four, women subconsciously assess a place full of men as the sort of place that doesn’t attract ALPHA men. After all, an alpha male will know where to go, and where he goes is NOT where every other guy goes. Women intuitively grasp this unspoken rule of nightlife, and will compensate by heading to female-friendly venues that are also hot spots for smart (and efficient) alpha males.