The Self-Deprecation Nuclear Shit Test

Women have many shit tests and penumbras of shit tests in their hamster arsenal, but none packs a more explosive punch than the self-deprecation shit test, which is like the Tsar Bomba of shit tests. The shock wave from this big baby is enough to send an inexperienced man reeling backwards into stunned silence. Or, worse, obsequious reassurance.

A reader passes along his recent encounter with the Hamsta Bomba of shit tests,

The other day I was hitting on an asian girl (FOB, but culturally American) who is studying English in North America.  I had met her by chance the previous day at a festival and gotten a make out after the festival.

I was escalating and she gave me what I think was a “nuclear shit test” and I didn’t know how to respond.

She said: “I’m surprised you want to bang me so bad – I’m not even that hot.  There are way better looking girls you should be going after.”  Indeed, she is not that hot.  A solid 6 but no more.  She was implying that because I was hitting on her, I must not be able to get with the hotter girls, so I’m a loser.

I demurred, and said that “I liked her smile.”  But I did not have a witty rejoinder to her shit test.

What should I have said?

(For the record, I regularly hook up with 8s, but I was going after this 6 because I was in town for a couple days only and wanted an easy lay.  I ended up getting a BJ from her).

This question of how to deactivate the fission cascade on the self-deprecation nuclear shit test has been answered before at the Chateau. And the conclusion from that post is that your best options are to either

a. ignore her and change the subject, or

b. reframe so that she gets put into the defensive crouch.

The reframe that is most popular among the coituscenti is the classic “Have you always been this vain?” This is the black hole to the nuclear shit test, sucking the atomic life and energy right out of her beta boob bait.

Another good reply: “Oh god, you’re not that kind of girl who’s always comparing herself to other girls, are you?!”

Defensive crouches are where gina tingles are born.

The absolute worst reply you could give — and one which is the equivalent of chomping down on stinky chum and getting hooked into the boat — is to reassure her that she’s pretty. Your logical male mind thinks this is the answer she wants, but if you say it you’ll soon discover the air escaping from any sexual tension that had been building. Women interpret male reassurance as male desperation to keep the momentum moving toward sex. This is why disarming shit tests is such a valuable game skill to have; by refusing to play into her “oh no, another boring beta male” expectations, you, as a man, decrease the likelihood that she’ll concoct a reason to short-circuit the seduction process.

The Wickedest Links

1. “So there’s really nothing that can be done about the decline of the Republican Party. As virtue and ability decline in the electorate so does the republic.” Randall, and Reihan, are right. Demography and character are a nation’s destiny. And right now, the US of Gay is going down the crapper on both counts.

2. Do you have a palette of tissues handy? Because feminists are about to weep their last bitter tears. Satoshi Kanazawa is back in the news with a study that concludes the maternal instinct decreases by a quarter for every fifteen extra IQ points. Smart and over-educated lawyercunts are a dying breed. Literally. I believe it was the Audacity of Huge who once tabulated and correlated GSS data to find that smart men have more children than dumb men, while smart women have fewer children than dumb women. I call this the “Alpha Male-Cute Secretary Assortative Mating” theory. You may know it better by its street handle: Female hypergamy. And… wait for it… it will be the salvation of the white race in multicultural miasmas.

3. Study shows girls commit dating violence as often as boys. If you’ve ever dated a drama whore, you know that they can get physically aggressive. It comes with the hot sex territory. You’re banging the bejeezus out of her one night, and the next day she’s pushing you into the knife rack. Now of course, owing to inherent size and strength differences, this sort of physical violence from women carries less risk than the same violence would from men. Men are also more unwilling to admit they get pushed around by their girlfriends and/or wives. Which may be why girls resort to physical violence more often, because they know they can get away with it. The study authors also looked at “verbal violence” — which in CH terms is known as psychological warfare — and this too, is one area where women excel. Now I don’t believe verbal violence is nearly as bad as real violence, but if you take feminists’ and leftoids’ words for it — that bad words are trés hurtful and on a par with stabbings and shootings, and therefore their expression ought to be regulated by the state — then a lot of women should be thrown in jail for nagging and needling their men. #feministlogic

4. “[T]he West began to diverge from the rest long before the Growth Revolution.” Why did the West rise? If you look at GDP per capita, instead of total wealth, it becomes clear that the West diverged from China long before the 19th century. Conclusion: The North Sea diverged from the rest in 1,000 AD. Why? Outbreeding is one answer. Whatever the precise answer, it appears that genes are more and more becoming the obvious candidate for explaining Western greatness. #equalistpain

5. Chicks dig violent jerks. #hohum

6. Suicidal libertarianism. In multiracial, open borders societies, libertarianism is nothing short of a death cult. Any time sperglord Bryan Caplan is owned, is a time to

The inevitable logic of their Rainman ideology that libertarians don’t get (or pretend not to get for tribe-scoring subterfuge) is that, although open borders to the world’s riff-raff may bring short-term proximate benefits like cheap strawberries, it also brings longer-term costs in the form of sacrificing ultimate interests, like one’s ethnic genetic continuity. But perhaps that cost is what the open border libertarian traitors really want. In which case, all that needs saying to them is

7. Sex video exonerates men who were falsely accused of rape by a world class cunt. It’s ironic that the feminist push to enlarge the domain of legal rape and to make it easier for women to accuse men of various sexual improprieties is also creating an incentive for men to videotape every sexual liaison they have with women that feminists would hold up as cultural heroines fighting the patriarchy. But, that’s what you get when you follow #feministlogic.

When It’s Alright To White Knight

The white knight used to be an object of admiration, but lately he has become an object of derision and even pity. Urban Dictionary defines the white knight as:

A person (usually a male) who sees the typical maiden in distress, and believes that he can help her. A male version of the “mother figure” that some girls become.

Implicit in that definition is the recognition that white knights are dupes who won’t get the sex they think their heroism is supposed to net them. The change in the white knight’s status can be traced to the change in the Western culture and the functioning of the sexual market. As women have become more self-sufficient, more socially and sexually aggressive, more pampered by the ruling elite and their foot soldiers, and less in need of beta male provisioning, the justification for the white knight’s services has been annulled. What was once a legitimate way to curry favor with women and to uphold traditional social mores for the betterment of the ethnically cohesive whole, has become a pretentious clown show neither desired by its intended recipients nor necessary as a stopgap to preserve social mores that have long ceased their operational relevance.

The subject of the white knight was broached in the comments to this post about a guy who walks away from a one-month slutfriend (“girlfriend” seems too generous an appellation) who had her tit grabbed by a co-worker in a bar, and responded to the feminist ur-violation by laughing and hugging her groper. CH agreed with the emailer’s decision to execute a summary dumping, but some readers were less ready to surrender the white knight option.

For example, commenter Erudite Knight wrote,

You are a joke. It is not ‘white knight’ to defend your property. You are excusing your own cowardice.

This is fairly representative of the thinking of the pro-white knight brigade. Woman is man’s property, and therefore a man must defend her honor no matter how poorly she behaves.

A load of tosh.d’oh, say I. First, it’s been a long time in the West since women were men’s property, either legalistically or culturally. Were we living in such a time, duty-bound male impulses like white knighting and chivalry would make more sense. But today, they make little sense, if any at all. A piece of “property” which can cheat on you at will and suffer little in the way of consequences is not any property encompassing inherent rights of ownership deserving of defense against interlopers. Or: If your property can, of its own accord, welcome squatters, you are a fool for assuming stewardship of such a leaky plot of flesh.

Second, women are not children or dumb animals, They have agency and accountability for their actions. At least, they do if you take a typical feminist’s word for it. (A leap of faith, I know.) You as a man are under no moral obligation to rush to the aid of a woman who has proven herself, by her actions, a loose tramp. If she severs her end of the deal, you are free to sever yours.

Third, acting the cat’s-paw for a low woman won’t inspire the respect you white knight advocates think it will, or think it should. What do you imagine percolates in a slut’s head when she has successfully tooled you into laying down your coat for her as her secret office fling laughs knowingly to himself, his pedestal being polished by her hand? I’ll show you:

All you’ve done is embolden her to pull more of the same stunts in the future. Way to go, toolbag.

Fourth, it’s not bravery to stand in the path of a speeding train, or a serenading slut. It’s just plain old stupidity.

If your goal in life is to feel like a big man through the strange alchemical process of getting tooled by manipulative shrews, then have it at governor. Just don’t expect many men of sane mind to join you in adhering to your quixotic code of ethics.

But this post is not solely about the lunkheadedness of the modern day white knight, a loathsome creature who shares DNA with the manboob and the male feminist. (Pervs of a feather…) It’s about those rare times when it’s in your interest, as a man, to white knight. Specifically, that interest is the preservation of your privileged access to the womb of a woman who wishes you to have that access.

If a guy at a bar grabs your lover’s tit, and she reacts with a look of shock and fury, clearly signaling her displeasure with the molestation, then go ahead and be all the white knight you can be. The benefits in such a scenario far outweigh the negatives (unless the other guy is a house, more on that in a bit). A demeaning titty twister (of your hand on his nipple), a strong shove to entice a fight, or even a sock in the gut, are acceptable measures of recourse. You wouldn’t be white knighting so much as kicking out an invading migrant who crossed your border, a border (and this is important) which you know is inviolable.

If the girl is not worth a fight, but you want to slake a vengeful thirst on both of them that walking out simply won’t do, you could follow this advice from anonymous,

How about you bring her and him into a bro shoulder hug, start smooching her, keep one hand clenched on the guy’s shirt while you send your hand up her shirt, and while kissing you give him a bro face slap. “You guys will have a great life together.”

YaReally also has an epic comment about handling really aggressive douchebags muscling in on your girl. He, like CH, advocates the “soft next” for any girl who has proved by her behavior that she didn’t mind the intrusion all that much.

As for much bigger men, make fun of them. “Hey, man, you’re molesting the wrong tit. I think you want the boy tits in the gay bar down the street.” Try recruiting allies this way, by publicly calling out his boarish behavior in front of a crowd, preferably with bouncers and bartenders within earshot. You obviously want to avoid a beatdown that is inevitable because of an unfair size disadvantage, but there are other ways to socially ostracize a big man without having it come to blows.

Of course, if women want the world of white knights and chivalry back, they’re free to abandon their feminist principles and equalist agit-prop any day now. Won’t be holding my breath…

Death By Tree

The modest Lion of the Blogosphere tirelessly works to alert the citizenry to the threat of death by cow, but there is another evil that lurks in our nation’s parks and quiet retreats: death by tree.

This is not the first time a rogue tree has snuffed out a life. Four years ago, a woman was killed and a man put into a coma by falling tree limbs. Three years ago, a man walking through Central Park minding his own business was taken out by a psychopathic tree limb. Witnesses heard someone yelling “This is for Treevon”, which news outlets were slow to divulge.

The number of casualties and severity of the crimes tell the story: Trees are more dangerous than cows.

My suggestion is to remove your headphones when walking through areas known to be populated by aggressive, killer trees with low future time orientation. You need to be aware of your surroundings so that you can move out of the way when you hear the crack of a giant limb about to hurtle to the ground. Another suggestion is to reduce immigration of less competent people.

Delligatti and other people who live nearby told Fox 5 they were not surprised by the falling tree. They say many of the trees in Kissena Park appear to be in bad condition.

“They need another program where competent people, tree people, [sic] to come around and assess which trees should be taken down, because it’s a mess,” said Delligatti.

The demographic future of America is on track to be comprised of many more incompetent people than we have now, so expect these sorts of “mishaps” to occur more regularly. It’s time to plan your daily life around the reality that there is a big, intrusive government which claims it will take care of you but actually does a bad job of taking care of you.

Dostoevsky On Feminism

Via Thinking Housewife,

”So, listen to me. My speech will be much shorter than yours. I want to tell you this: all that you told me now was very stupid and banal. Do you understand me? It was stupid. It would be better to dispense with you, in this matter, but your family, your children and your kitchen cannot survive without a woman … a woman has only one main purpose in life: to be a wife and a mother … there is no, there was no, and there will not be any other ‘social purpose’ of a woman. This is all stupidity, senseless talk, and gibberish. All that you have told me here is nonsense, do you hear me? It was nonsense, and I am not going to say anything else to you.”

CH on feminism:

When men become as women, and women as men, will you know the end days are upon you.

CH and the Great Men of History, ♥aligned so fine♥.

AMOG Tit Grab

A reader passes along a quickie anecdote that you don’t hear everyday:

I would like your take on this situation that arose with my GF. Been together about a month.

Went to a pub, I brought a friend, its kind of her turf so she runs into coworkers and friends there a lot. Two dudes she used to work with come in, she hugs them. She is pretty bad for introducing me to people…often she says hello to a group, I wait a minute then introduce myself. She follows up by saying I’m her BF, etc, but she leaves it to me to break the ice.

Once again no intro, this time I didn’t care much to say hi, so me and my friend went for a drink. At last call, her and I are chatting, I see another friend and go say hi, she sees these two coworkers again. I come up to do the introduction, and one of the dudes grabs her tit when she moves in for a hug. She shoves his hand away but laughs and hugs him. I’m literally over this dudes shoulder, she knows I saw it.

What’s the alpha play here? (I walked away, she chased after me asking why i was running away…fully aware of the reason)

1. One month is not long enough to call any girl your “girlfriend”. Not even if you’re banging her six ways to Sunday. Already I sense your mentality is beta, for only a beta male would count his chicks before they’ve latched.

2. It’s a very bad tell when your “GF” doesn’t introduce you to people she knows. She either doesn’t want them to know the full extent of your relationship with her, or she’s not sufficiently attached to you and easily forgets you exist. Third option: She’s a sperg with naturally bad social skills. But that’s a low probability option.

3. The AMOG dude obviously felt comfortable enough to grab her tit without fearing retribution, from either her or you. Therefore, he either knows, through her, that she’s not that into you, or he’s actually fucking her on the downlow. Her reaction — or rather, her barely concealed joy — strongly hints at the latter.

4. The alpha play is to never talk to her again. Seriously. She’s a lost cause, even if she didn’t technically “cheat”. Yet.

5. But if you just want to keep the sex going for as long as possible, give it two weeks, then re-engage. Treat her like absolute dirt. I figure this strategy will net you three more months of hungry blowjobs.

Beta Male Asks Girls For Reasons Why They Rejected Him

…and a nugget of game truth escapes from the swirl of vapid blather. The bolded questions are being asked by the beta male, and the answers are from girls he attempted to woo but failed miserably.

Do you usually figure out if you wanna do more than make out with someone pretty instantly? Or, is it a slow burn?
Oh, yeah. It is a fact of life that women know within seconds of meeting a man whether or not they would have sex with them. I’m into guys that are overtly confident. I dated a guy once who I had very, very, very strong feelings for. I was crazy about him. The first time we hung out we had sex. And afterward, he walked into the bathroom that was attached to the bedroom and took a shit with the door open.

Really?
I could see him. I could actually see this guy while he was taking a shit right after he slept with me, and for some reason, I just remember being like, “You know what? I respect how much nerve you have.”

Beta males can’t understand how it is alpha males can get away with so much… shit… and still get the girls. This is why beta males fail. The very act of pulling shit around women is attractive to them because it signals the winning attitude of uncaring assholery. And there’s nothing more chicks love than a man who does as he pleases and makes no apology for it.

Naturally, the beta male in this article misses the lesson contained in his interviewee’s answers, opting instead to badger the women with specific details about him that turned them off (or didn’t turn them on).

Was there anything I did wrong that turned you off?
I don’t believe so. I mean, I had a lot of fun hanging out with you. All of my most successful relationships have had a dynamic where we acted like best friends.

The very nature of asking women these sorts of pleading questions is a fine demonstration of doing it wrong. Alpha males don’t ask women for appraisals of their worth. Alphas assume their worth. And besides, alphas know there’s nothing to be learned from women in the matter of the source of women’s romantic feelings, who as a gender are constitutionally incapable of honestly probing the origins of their sexual desire.

Tantalizingly, one woman he interviews makes a glancing blow with an ugly truth (she’s also the hottest of the four women, which should tell you something).

Gotcha.
I just recently learned that the pill can really alter who you’re attracted to. I found that who I was attracted to when I was on the pill may have been different to who I’m attracted to now I’m off. Also, now the type of guys I’m attracted to can be really affected by the time of month.

Like, week one, I’m only into Mexicans? Week two is tall dudes with big feet?
No. It’s more like at a certain point, during ovulation, I’m not really in sync with it yet, but there’s a certain point where I want a bigger guy to throw me around and stuff. During that moment I find myself more attracted to manly men.

Monthly Cycle Game — a CH original — will be hitting bookstands soon. It’s better to err on the side of throwing a woman around too much than not throwing her around enough. The former mistake is recoverable; the latter won’t even give you a shot to recover yourself. Think of it this way:

Throw woman around too much (physically and/or psychologically)

GIRL’S THOUGHTS: He’s such a jerk! I just want him to love me. Instead all he does is fuck me like a rag doll. Maybe if I give him more head he’ll be sweet to me?

GUY: *buys her a bag of Skittles*

GIRL: *SWOON*

Throw woman around not enough

GIRL’S THOUGHTS: Wow just wow this guy is boring. But he lets me talk about anything, like the assholes who are fucking me.

GUY’S THOUGHTS: This is great! She’s, like, right next to me, talking to me! But wait… am I in the friend zone? I better go for a sloppy awkward kiss and remind her why I’m here. I mean, it’s been four months we’ve “been together”, the time is right.

GUY: *LURCHING AIR SMOOCH*

GIRL: *Reeling backwards* Why did you do that? Oh, I’m so sorry… I just don’t see you that way. Yuk just yuk.

***

If you’re asking women why you’re sexually invisible, you already have your answer.