How To Screw With A Cheating Whore

Reader Wrecked ‘Em requests a bit of the ol’ ultrawisdom of the crowd.

Question for the crowd:

A friend (really) just discovered that his annoying but excessively hot girlfriend is cheating on him. I’ve said for a while that she has “round heels” (falls on her back easily when given attention – she’s big ego, low self-esteem). They’ve been in a 3-year relationship. She doesn’t know he knows. He has plenty of options, so a hard next is a no-brainer, but as a social experiment we’re trying to decide what the most brutal drop would be, with the constraint that it has to be almost no effort on his part. It’s come down to:

a) a call of the form:

him: don’t ever speak to me again.
her: What did I do?
him: You know what you did. *click*

b) drop all contact and let her figure out that she’s been dumped.

He has the self-control and the next-babe-on-tap options to never contact her again. Opinons, suggestions?

Vengeance is as natural as love, and sweeter still. But life is short, women are numerous, and the cock waits for no one. There will be those, like YaReally…

Simply walk away. There’s no reason to torture or punish her…she already punished herself by losing access to his cock, she just hasn’t realized it yet.

…who argue the sensible response so that time and energy are spared for more fruitful pursuits, and then there will be those, like gunslingergregi…

beat her at about half the power you would a dude

…who advocate more extreme measures of retaliation which make a mockery of sensibility.

But we here at CH prefer a response that is neither eminently sensible nor sloppily extreme. Our favored method for exacting delicious vengeance on a cheating whore is more devious in design, and therefore more likely to strike the pain illimitable into the heart of a whore’s sperm-shellacked, shaft-scarred soul.

If the only two revenge options are as presented by Wrecked ‘Em, then Option B — total radio silence — is the better choice. Option A: Calling a whore out is never as satisfying for a man as it sounds on paper (or in one’s head). The danger with the call-out option is the risk of unintentionally revealing, through either uncontrollable voice quakes or injured body language, a grievous blow to his solar plexus that will more likely arouse pity than humiliation in his intended target.

On the other hand, the problem with Option B is the absence of a wonderful front row view of the aftermath of vengeful carnage. A whore has her ego crushed; if no one hears her lament or sees her pain, did she really suffer? In truth, a woman who is cheating all the time would not very much miss the sap boyfriend she was cheating on, nor very much evaluate his direct accusations and insults with furrowed-brow concern.

No, no gentlemen of cultivated honor, the perfect gift to give an unfaithful tramp is scorched ego, salted id psychological destruction that will have her reaching for the blade and slicing lengthwise.

The CH-approved Sweet Vengeance Program involves four main components, broadly arranged under the following categories:

1. preselection jealousy
2. well poisoning
3. skank PR
4. the truly perverse

Step 1, preselection jealousy.

There’s one thing that drives every woman crazy, even the most cold-hearted whore, and that’s the thought that her man is having a dalliance with another woman. The man with options is the man loved by women. Inciting jealousy will awaken long-lost feelings of vulnerability and submission in a cheater because she will not be able to resist the primal pull of your preselection.

There are many ways to provoke preselection jealously. Flirt with other women in front of her. Get “caught” on a date with another girl. As per the advice by commenter Thwack, get a female friend to “accidentally” call her number asking for you. Instruct her to hang up as soon as she is questioned by the whore about her relation to you.

Another way to provoke jealousy is by placing “badboy discoverables” around the house. She doesn’t know that you (and by “you” I’m referring to your friend) know about her cheating. Therefore, presumably, sex is still on the table. Makes sure it stays that way for the time being until your plan is fully under way. Bras, panties and earrings from “other women”, strategically located under pillows or on bedside tables so that they are easily found during the act of intimacy, will provide the most exhilarating comic relief as the whore is forced to simultaneously reconcile her orgasmic pleasure with her red-hot rage at your betrayal. Make sure to keep knives well out of reach.

Step 2, well poisoning.

Drive a wedge between her and her whore enabling girl friends and the lover to whom she’s about to monkey swing. Fire up the rumor mill. Are you on speaking terms with any of her friends? Then tell them that you and your whore have been experiencing a rough go of it lately, but you’re trying to make it work out (you want to be a sympathetic character in this play), and part of that is being totally honest with everyone you and her know. Inform them that you were sadly made aware that your whore had a fling, or a make-out in a bar, with X friend’s boyfriend or Y friend’s husband, and that she really didn’t mean anything by it, she was just lashing out at you. Tell them not to take it personally and that they should continue being friends with her because she needs the support. If subterfuge is the order of the day, perhaps hint, ever so innocently, that you didn’t know your girlfriend and X’s boyfriend were such good friends and were hanging out at lounge Y after work. Pretend to be relieved that you can trust your girlfriend so completely.

If you can get a hold of her lover, tell him you know about their tryst, and that it’s totally cool because you have an open relationship with her. You and her have a “friends with benefits” arrangement and you’re fine with her seeing him. No man, not even the most inveterate cad, likes to know he is fucking the town orifice.

Step 3, skank PR.

The killing blow. Collect any sex photos you have of the whore. If you don’t have any, set up a hidden video camera in your room and film your next love session with her. You need to get some photos of her with a cock dangling between her crossed eyes; preferably your cock, but any will do in a pinch. Bonus points if you can scrounge up a pic of a black cock in her face. Send the pic to her parents with a note saying “You raised your daughter well.” Send anonymous pics to her friends, asking if they knew she was always this much fun. If you know the dude she is cheating with, send the sex pic to him, anonymously, with a note attached that says “Glad you’re comfortable sharing.”

If you are a computer hacker, or you know the whore’s social media passwords, get online and send out a few tweets or FB updates posing as her informing the world of the good time “you” had on your dates with men X, Y and/or Z. Better still, send the tweets to whichever guy she happens to be boffing, and include her girl friends or family members in the recipients.

Step 4, the truly perverse.

How sick of mind are you? A lot? You might then prefer to venture into Step 4, where monsters roam. Acquire personal details –names, numbers, etc — of the relevant parties. Have a female accomplice pose as a nurse calling from a clinic to inform your whore that a man named X (the dude she is cheating with) came in to be tested and was diagnosed with syphilis, gonorrhea or, if you really want to run with this, the HIVvy. He mentioned her name and the clinic, in its duty as a responsible medical provider, would like her to come in and be tested for any potential STDs he may have passed onto her. Your accomplice must be a good actress to pull this off. You may have to grease her palm a bit to inspire her thespian dreams. Be present for the phone call and watch as your loving cheating girlfriend’s face grows pale; savor the moment before asking, in your most sympathetic voice, if anything is the matter. Enjoy the spectacle of whatever explanation she scrambles to piece together to give you.

You can do one, two, three or all four of the above recommended tactics against a sinning cheater. You will be richly rewarded with the kind of inner peace and happy fulfillment that only revenge, served cold and shivved deep, can provide.

Female Beauty From 5 To 7

Reader Hair Slicked Back With Swag So Fresh (great handle) wrote to ask if CH could revive the posts that asked readers to rank female beauty in photos. The goal in those posts — achievement realized — was to demonstrate how men pretty much share the same taste in women.

You may think it obvious that men share the same gut reaction of what constitutes female beauty and female ugliness, and therefore not a subject worth bludgeoning to death, but the world is full of — and filling up more by the day with — defectives, misfits and losers who tirelessly propagandize pretty lies like “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and “there’s a good man for every woman” and “sexual attraction is a matter of personal taste” and “grow old along with me the best is yet to be” and “BBWs have no trouble attracting men”. A few soul-shivving CH posts puncturing the bubble of platitudes that ensconces the degenerate freak mafia is but a ripple in the tidal wave of RAWMUSCLEDELUSION that is the hallmark of current Western intellectual discourse.

Swag writes,

Hello CH, I’d like to commission a blog entry regarding these photos [ed: see pics below].

First of all, what do you see in these pictures?

Next, which of the two is hotter?

Finally, why did you pick one over the other?

Swag is getting at an interesting point about female beauty and men’s universal sexual preferences in his choice of these two particular women as ranking subjects. Although the rankings of homely women (4s and lower) and very attractive women (8s and higher) are largely agreed upon by the vast fantastic majority of men from all cultural and racial backgrounds, this near universal shared clear male preference gets more muddied in the fat part of the female beauty bell curve. Right there in the populous (YOUNG, SLENDER*) middle — where female 5s, 6s and 7s dominate the sea of snatch — the marginal differences in objective physical beauty that distinguish one girl from another in such a large population tend to exaggerate underlying idiosyncratic male tastes.

While general universal female attractiveness rules still mean that a randomly chosen typical 6 will not have as many, or as high quality, sexual marketplace options as a randomly chosen typical 7, there can be individual exceptions to this rule resulting from men’s particular preferences along minor, mostly cosmetic, beauty metrics. For example, a blonde 6 might get a man that both she and a brunette 7 want, simply because the man has a particularly strong preference for blondes. But that blonde 6 will likely lose out to a brunette 8 because the difference in facial beauty and how that appeals to universal primal male desire is great enough to overcome the individual man’s relatively weaker idiosyncratic preference for blondes.

*A few important points need to be made here.

First, obesity is skewing the female sexual market. Most American women are now chubby or worse. So the middle part of the female beauty curve in 2013 is now shifted to the left of where that same curve would have been in, say, 1960. The fat (heh) part of the female beauty curve is now shifted to where the dregs of womanhood — the 1s, 2s and 3s — Jabbanate. It’s no longer a bell curve but a pear curve. The 4s, 5s, 6s and 7s are still representative of the average of female beauty, but their total share in the female population has been sadly, tragically, whittled down to endangered species status.

Second, whenever we talk of female beauty rankings we are implicitly talking about women under the age of 30. Yeah, yeah there are some attractive 40-year-olds out there… for their age. Save it. Those attractive 40-year-olds were even hotter when they were 20-years-old. The wall spares no one, not even Monica Belucci. At best, the wall only hits some women harder and earlier than other women. This is a universal law about as predictable and unavoidable as the law of gravity. Sure, there are a few rare exceptions of women who miraculously got better looking into their late 20s or early 30s, but these biological rarities only serve to throw into stark relief the dictatorial governance of the primary SMP rule.**

**Many of these female late-bloomer exceptions are of former fatties who lost a ton of weight. A slender 35-year-old will be better looking to most men than a fatty 20-year-old version of herself.

Finally, we must note that there is one other group of rarified women whose ethereal beauty provokes a “narcissism of small differences” reaction in men: the hard 10s. 5s, 6s and 7s may cause some minor disagreement among men by dint of their numerical advantage in the female population, but hard 10s provoke the most heated disagreement. One man’s 10 is another man’s 9.5, and GODDAMNIT he is going to let you know that 0.5 points makes all the difference in the world. Male personal whim tends to get exaggerated to outsized importance when contemplating the beauty of truly exquisite creatures.

Anyway, onto the beauty ranking. Two girls are featured, in two different photos. They represent the slightly right-of-middle part of the female beauty curve. The objective here is not an absolute ranking of the two girls, but a relative one.

You, the readers, will decide which of these two girls, both of whom are fairly close together in looks and both of whom are representative of the majority of young, thin women, is the better looking of the two. Will the voting show significant disagreement? Or are men better at distinguishing, say, 6s from 7s than we give them credit for?

Here’s a close-up shot:

After you have voted in the above poll, write in the comments what distinguishing features of either girl swayed your judgment. What details about these two girls pushed you to vote one or the other as more attractive? Be as specific as possible. (Note to women voters: “specific” does not mean “she has a sexy chi”.)

Give that some thought, and then vote in this poll:

Results and analysis will be posted later.

UPDATE

Early return poll results are in and the winner, by an overwhelming margin of victory, is…

The girl on the left! And that’s a good thing for a lot of you guys because the girl on the right…

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IS A MAN, BABY!

😆

Reader Swag follows up:

Not everything is what it seems.  You’ve been duped!  The pictures do not contain two women, but rather, a man and a woman!  The woman is the one in the white top and the man is the one in the black top.  The man underwent hormone replacement therapy to turn into a tranny, and has been living as a woman for the past 8 months.  The tranny’s actually wearing a wig until his real hair grows out long enough to look like a woman’s hair.  They’re siblings, and the black top brother is only a few years older than the white top sister.  Nice contrast, I know.

Let’s see what some readers had to say.

“the one on the right’s eyes seem to show an IOI but the one on the left is more deadpan.”

😆 😆

“And rightie is a 6 based on having a tight body in a world where 98 out of 100 women are fat or obese.”

😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 Tranny hotter than fat chicks. What more needs to be said about fat chick prospects?

“People saying the one on the right is a 5? Really? Nobody’s standards are that delusionally high. 99% of the dudes here would gladly fuck either of them and be thankful for it.”

I don’t know that feel, bro.

“Girl in the white top is a quick fuck I’d maybe LTR the girl in black but cheat on her a lot.”

😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 ….

….oh god…

…*phew*…

…wait a sec…. ok…

😆 😆 😆 😆

“The one on the right’s nose and general facial structure makes me think she’s a former man, to be honest. At first she looks quite good but if you look for a few seconds it just doesn’t feel quite right.”

Commenter Loc wins the thread and spares his masculine essence horrible indignity.

This being CH, an April Fool’s joke is not just a joke. There’s an underlying message. And that message is this:

Universal male attraction standards are vindicated again.

You may wonder how this is so, considering that men were arguing over the “beauty” of a tranny, and a few benighted souls even voted in favor of the tranny. Well, note how overwhelming is the victory for the real girl. Then notice how many men in the comments said that “something just wasn’t right” about the girl on the right. This person is probably the best looking, or rather the most realistic looking, tranny you will ever see, and STILL he couldn’t quite pull it off. Most men can pick up on the subtlest facial cues that differentiate plain from pretty women and, yes, uncannily fake women from real women.

Look, too, at the poll results for the features that readers said most informed their ranking judgments. Body, jawline, chin, eyes and noses were the big (heh) overriding facial characteristics that pinged men’s (and women’s) mate (or competitor) attractiveness triggers. As Swag writes,

What you should have noticed about the girl wearing the gray/white top:

– All-natural 32Ds (Titty-fuck, anyone? :P)
– Smaller facial features (softer jawline, pointed chin, modest cheekbones, etc.)
– Large and warm eyes that sparkle in the light
– Fuller and wetter bottom lip
– Congruent hairline parted close to the middle
– Tasteful fake nails on long, slender female fingers
– Sexy, hourglass figure within the ideal BMI range
– Feminine display of ownership by cradling the waist of the girl in the black top

What you should have noticed from girl wearing the black top:

– Flat, pancake tits undeserving of a cup size mention
– Wider, more angular facial features (manjaw, uppercut-ready chin, prominent cheekbones, etc.)
– Smaller, darker eyes devoid of that bright spark
– Flat and chapped bottom lip
– Incongruent hairline which doesn’t sit right
– Unpolished nails on short, stubby man hands
– Straight, column-like hips with the sex appeal of a balance beam
– Masculine display of ownership by draping the arm around the shoulders of girl in gray/white top

Female beauty is not subjective, except in the metaphysical sense that an individual’s neurons have to operate to perceive the beauty. A transsexual can only be perceived as womanly if he alters his body and face to such a radical degree that he begins to conform with innate biologically grounded standards already in place in the brains of men. The very fact that transsexual men have to conceal or otherwise surgically reconstruct their male features to more resemble female features in order to “pass” with straight men is hard real world evidence that female beauty is objective and male sexual attraction preferences are universal. And even then… the ruse is exceedingly difficult to pull off.

The Faith

First the leftoids preached equality.
They beheld their morality, and saw that it was not working.
Then they preached redistribution.
They beheld their theft, and saw that it was not working.
Then they preached lies.
They beheld their deception, and saw that it was not working.
Then they preached the silence of their enemies.
And they became hate.

Black Men Have Much To Discuss About Murderous Crime

Imagine if White American men and boys were committing hundreds of murders month after month, year after year. Articles and interviews would flood the media, and we’d have political debates demanding that White Americans be “held accountable.” Then, if an atrocity such as the Brunswick, GA shooting of an infant took place and White American male leaders held a news conference to offer solutions, their credibility would be questionable. The public would tell these leaders that they need to focus on problems in their own culture and communities.

But when the criminals and leaders are black men, race and gender become the elephant in the room.

A disproportionate number of all of the murders in this country in recent centuries — not just Brunswick, Washington DC, Essex, Milwaukee, Old Bridge and Manchester — have been committed by black men and boys, who are seven times more likely than whites to commit homicide. Yet when the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), led by black men, held a news conference after the Manchester massacre — oh wait, the NAACP had nothing to say about the Manchester massacre.

Unlike white male Americans, black men are not used to being singled out and pilloried. So we expect that many of them will protest it is unfair if we talk about them. But our nation must correctly define their contribution to our problem of gun violence if it is to be solved.

When black men try to divert attention from gun violence by talking about white racism, many people buy into the idea that the United States has a privileged white male patriarchy problem, or flawed social systems with which to address those problems, and they think that is what produces disproportionate black violent crime.

But women and girls living under the white male patriarchy are not picking up handguns and shooting sideways at gang members and infants. Non-black immigrants who voluntarily immigrated to a land of white male oppression are not committing 85% of the black-white interracial crime every year that blacks commit. Latinos who crossed the unprotected border by the tens of millions to live under the thumb of white male oppression are only continually committing violent crime at three times the white rate. Good on them.

Each of us is programmed from childhood to believe that the bottom group of our hierarchies — and in the U.S. culture, that’s black men — represents oppressed peoples, so it can feel awkward, even ridiculous, when we try to call attention to those people as a distinct group and hold them accountable.

For example, our schools teach revised American history as the history of everyone in this nation. But the stories we learn are predominantly about evil slave-holding white men and Emmett Till. To study the history of other white groups who actually built the nation from the ground up, people have to take separate classes, such as unrevised American history, European history or home schooling. And if we take “White American History,” we don’t expect to learn “Asian American History,” because a class about anything but the real history of America is assumed not to be inclusive of the Ming Dynasty.

This societal and cultural programming makes it easy for tribalist, black-male-led groups to convince the nation that an organization led by black men, such as the NAACP or the Congressional Black Caucus, can represent the interests of the entire nation when, in fact, they predominately represent only their own egos and bank accounts.

If life were equitable, black male violent crime exculpation-rights advocates would face some serious questions to assess their degree of credibility and objectivity. We would expect them to explain:

What facets of black male culture create so many homicides?

Why are so many black men and boys producing and entertaining themselves with violent gangsta rap and other media?

Why do black men buy, sell and steal guns for killing; attend gang initiation drives; and demonstrate for unrestricted white male culpability disproportionately more than people of other ethnicities or races?

Why are black male congressmen leading the fight against black violence control?

If Americans ask the right questions on violent crime issues, we will get the right answers. These answers will encourage black men to examine their role in their own culture and to help other black men and boys become healthier and less violent.

This article reprinted with permission from its original publication in the Washington Post.

keywords:

white intraracial status whoring, white liberal self-annihilation, diversivibraunistrength, cat ladies, closet lesbians, old spinsters who hate white men because they were once sexually rejected by a white man, , 

Putting Game Theory Into Practice: Judge Dread Edition

Do you know what turns a woman on? Dread. Delicious dread that you might be frolicking with another filly. Or that you aren’t quite yet wholly committed to your beloved.

Feh! These are just words. Le Chateau is a house of wise and learned repute, but nothing enlightens like putting theory into practice and watching with supreme satisfaction a woman’s love explode in Pollockspray across her emotional canvas exactly as predicted. Commenter dicipres recounts:

I wanted to share something that happened to me yesterday which is relevant to game and that you might find interesting…

Yesterday afternoon an attractive co-worker sent me a VERY flirty email. My wife was at the computer just as the email came in, read it first and started to ask questions about the co-worker etc and became a little angry.

Few hours later, after the kids went to sleep, she calmed down and we went to bed.

About an hour after, we had the hottest dirtiest sex we ever made, even as singles before we had children.

Basically, dread/pre-selection caused the best sex we ever had in our relationship, and this happened while we both are tired from the long day and when our 8 months child is sleeping in her crib in our bedroom, 3 ft from our bed (which usually prevents my wife from being 100% calm and relaxed).

So yeah, Dread/pre-selection works.

People who say the teachings of game and the crimson art of applied charisma have nothing to offer men are either hermits or willfully blind faith-based betas yearning for psychological emollient. Yes, brave snarky skeptics, there you stand, smart but sad, tethered to the granite of your cherished conventionality, nobly enduring your frump marriages to your frump wives as your frump genitals wither from disuse and boredom. Those of us who have lived a day know better.

The Next Great Dismissive Alpha Male Line

In the annals of alpha maleness, who can forget the supreme asshole aloofness of this societal canker sore, loved by two cute girls at once, who dangled the promise of romantic fidelity with a now-classic request to “bring the movies”.

Sarah texted Josh. 1:06 p.m.: “Whatever Josh, you get so mad at me for everything but you don’t give a shit when she puts something up or says something. You always believe her.”

1:08 p.m. “It’s like no matter what I do she’s always that much better.”

1:13 p.m. “All we fight about is her or something that has to do with her, and it sucks. I hate fighting with you . . . I love you so much, but this shit hurts.”

Hours passed. Sarah tried again.

6:36 p.m. “You say you love me, but you don’t even have the decency to text me back?”

Finally, at 8:02 p.m., Josh typed, “Bring the movies.”

Seven hours after her first text, and numerous texts from her in between, he finally replies — “bring the movies.”

Bring da movies.

So beautiful. Its economy of microalphatude brings a moving tear to me eye it does.

But wait! After “bring the movies” became a go-to line for players on the (re)make, a new contender joined the ring: “It’s complicated.”

GIRL: So are you dating anyone right now?

YOU: It’s complicated.

***

GIRL: Just how many girls have you been with?

YOU: It’s complicated.

***

GIRL: What are you looking for?

YOU: It’s complicated.

***

GIRL: Will you buy me a drink?

YOU: It’s complicated.

***

GIRL: You’re not going to try to stick it in my ass tonight, are you?

YOU: It’s complicated.

While perhaps not as RAWMUSCLEALPHA as “bring the movies”, “it’s complicated” is devious SNEAKYFUCKERALPHA the allure of which most girls can’t resist.

Chateau guests were overjoyed. The knowledge was dropping like the New York Beta Times circulation numbers. But then a hush fell over the assembled. There was yet more seduction science to come. What may go down as the pinnacle of laconic alpha male sexiness, the je ne sais quoi of jerkitude, sounded like a clarion call issued from the Voice of God Himself.

FLAKING GIRL: “Hey – a friend of mine is going through a break up and needs to talk tomorrow night. The rest of my week is crazy. I’ll give you a call later on and we’ll make…” [her text gets cut off here]

el chief: “gay. you’re buying if we meet up again”

The thrilling lack of punctuation is only bested in hindbrain disorienting impact by the lead-in one-word reply:

“gay”

Say it with me.

“gay”

You are a young, cute girl who has options. (Read: You are not an aging frump with rapidly dwindling options.) You flake often. Secretly, you enjoy flaking on men. It’s a power trip. Most men dance on your puppet strings. But then one intriguing fellow comes along who cocks your world. And you find this text in your squawkbox:

“gay”

Suddenly, everything has changed. Who is this conceited prick? How dare he talk to me like this! What’s his deal? Is he getting a lot of action? I’m not attractive enough for him? I’ll show him. Next time, I’m buying, and he’s getting the fuck of his life. Ha!

The readers are sated.

“Dear CH, thank you for your wisdom, but we have had enough. This knowledge is sufficient to guide us to the land of alpha, where unicorns go to die and penises to live.”

No, that complacency will not do. The master seducer is always improving, always seeking the next challenge, and his plumb-hers toolkit expands with every wench. Finally, to our pantheon of patronizing pithy pussy pleasers we can add the newest:

her: can i sign my receipt on your back?
you: no
her: why are you being so mean?
you: cuz i don’t want to get you pregnant

“cuz i don’t want to get you pregnant”

Sterling.

Does it need to make sense? No. In fact, it works better the less sense it makes.

“Buy me a drink?”
“No, I don’t want to get you pregnant.”

“Reschedule for next week?”
“No, I don’t want to get you pregnant.”

“Dance with me?”
“No, I don’t want to get you pregnant.”

“What are you looking for?”
“I’m looking to not get you pregnant.”

“I have to cancel on our date this week.”
“That’s good, I didn’t want to get you pregnant.”

“You’re such a jerk.”
“That’s because I don’t want to get you pregnant.”

“Do I look fat in this?”
“Well, it’s certainly not going to help me get you pregnant.”

The first reader who uses this line successfully AND impregnates the girl will be featured in his very own CH post. Happy cunting.

Spot The Lesser Beta Male

Watch this segment on a gayly gay talk show. The mighty, gray-haired warrior male interviews two “””men””” and a woman living together in a polyandrous arrangement. (It’s silly to bless this perversion with the honorific of a relationship.)

Both of these men are betas. Maybe you could even call them functioning greater omegas. Why not just call them omega males? Because omega males are typically incapable of getting sex from any woman who doesn’t resemble a dirigible or an extra from the Star Wars cantina scene. At least these two males are, presumably, having some kind of sex with this rather fetching woman of desirable waist-hip ratio and slender BMI.

But one of these males is definitely the bottom bitch in this losers’ triangle. He is the one used for purposes of satisfying the woman’s emotional whoring needs, and for puttering around the adult playpen cleaning up the scattered sex-stained undergarments that the other male leaves on the floor after doing his job as the house cockubine.

He is the lesser beta, and his mission in life is asexual supportiveness, LJBF intimacy, trips to the pharmacist to get the morning after pill when male #1 forgets to pull out, and reflections in the cuckold corner hunched over his effortful pud, wet-eyed and trembly, as the other two housemates pound it out for his emasculatory benefit. Once in a blue moon she services him with a dreary handjob so that he doesn’t stray too far from his duty as harem pit crew.

Can you spot which of the two males is the lesser beta? Take a moment.

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Watch closely from 0:38-0:42.

Catch that?

A woman’s real feelings — her true unadulterated distilled purified desire — will rarely escape from her lips in the form of words. It will, instead, shoot from her fingertips, or emanate from her pelvis, or infuse the air around her thighs, or pierce the nicety veil from her hardening eyes. A woman’s words deliver the message of her brain. A woman’s body delivers the message of her vagina.

Near the ends her hamster reveals, “It didn’t mean I had to end this relationship with male #2. I could get my needs met with someone else.”

What a glorious hamster. So strong, so fit. This rodent must never stop running, because the three-way polyandrous arrangement is bottled lightning. Even weepy, scalzied lesser beta males have their id-shaped breaking points, and a woman who is getting both her sexy stud and provider dud needs met in one complete, if bifurcated, package requires an elite, special forces hamster that can spin up at a moment’s notice. Translating the above from its original hamsterese, we learn what the woman is really feeling:

“It didn’t mean I had to face the prospect of losing my kitchen bitch right when I was about to have a love child with another man. I could get my pussy ravaged by a slightly less repulsive man while still getting all the household help and emotional indulgence from a beautiful male feminist a mentally unbalanced woman like myself needed.”

It should not surprise the reader with which of the two males she decided to have her über bastard.

The starkness of the perfectly delineated two male-one female polyandrous circus is a powerful metaphor for the much larger and more accessible reality of the looser, serial soft polyandry that characterizes the dating market of late stage cultures in decline. There may not be many women willing to abide dating two men concurrently, let alone living with them in the same love shack, no matter how sufficiently those men placate the female dueling desires for sexiness and provider assurance and are willing to surrender their balls to the chopping block, but there are certainly plenty of women happy to date an alpha male and use a beta male on the down low for his gift of anhedonic attention. The male orbiter beta brigade plus the alpha male lover is a close approximation of polyandry in the wild.