The Wrong Way To Get Out Of The Friendzone

For those men who think they can talk their way out of the friendzone and into the poosy zone, here’s a cautionary reminder from a reader who let it all hang out with a girl who had only known him as a lovable, asexual emotional whore:

I attempted to get out the friendzone and admitted my feelings to my friend. She has been busy addressing personal issues i.e. things “not going her way” or “bad stuff happening all at once.” She has reminded on two occasions via text that she wants to talk and “has not forgotten about me.” In the back of my head I have accepted I will most likely be rejected. To add insult to injury, I know, through mutual friends, she has been entertaining out of town girlfriends and attended a couple of social gatherings (i.e. dinner and a pool party).

When she does decide to talk how do I react? Do I “punish” her for ignoring me? If so, how do I play that card? Or is there an alternative?

Getting out of the friendzone is no easy task, especially if you have never been anything to the girl but a friend with advanced commiseration ability. Many men can tolerate only so much denial of their sexual needs by oblivious girls using them for emotional bonding before the breaking point is reached whereupon the man foolishly decides bracing candor is an effective course of action to turn that girl buddy into a passionate lover.

It never is. Admitting your feelings to a girl buddy is an extinction level fail that will harden her disgust at the thought of you as a sexual partner. If you have a hard time fathoming the fail here, imagine a morbidly obese woman who has been a friend of yours for years suddenly shoving her bratwurst tongue down your throat in a moment of unrestrained lust.

Failure #2: Not recognizing female hamster rationalizations as evidence of discomfort with your desire. When a girl says “Bad stuff is happening all at once”, or “I need some time to myself”, what she is really saying is “Bad stuff with you is happening all at once” and “I need some time with a sexy alpha male.” She’s pushing away from you, my friend. You aren’t just failing to make her attracted to you, you’re actually making things worse.

Failure #3: Thinking you can still win her over. When you have gone too far down the path of sackless betatude, almost anything you do will enhance her status and diminish yours. You care too much, and she knows that. A man who cares is a man who is denied love. Your efforts, such as they are, will only be perceived by her as confirmation of your poor mate quality.

The way to play this game is to act like you aren’t playing at all. First, get it out of your head that she nurses a lingering attraction for you. She despises you. Nothing but pity and contempt for you lingers in her head. She will not ever “see the light and come around”. Second, don’t make the mistake of thinking a calculated reversal of your emotional availability is the antidote to her lack of attraction. You cannot shift your behavior on a dime and expect there to be no blowback. If you become cold and distant, she will simply assume you are butthurt by her rejection of you.

“When she does decide to talk how do I react?”

Bad frame. She isn’t going to decide to talk to you, and your job in life isn’t to react to whatever awesome nonsense spills from her lips. How about this better frame: “If I decide to talk to her it will be because I’m bored.”

“Do I “punish” her for ignoring me?”

She is nothing of importance to you. Why would you punish a nothing for acting like a nothing? If she contacts you, treat her like you would any insignificant entity in your life: neutrally, until she proves otherwise by behaving either pleasantly or condescendingly.

“If so, how do I play that card?”

Let’s say she calls or texts you, “Hey, what’s up! I told you I haven’t forgotten about you, my bestest guy friend in the whole world!” Are you supposed to grovel to this? Show gratitude for bestowing you with her attention? Punish her for ignoring you? Get hysterical with loving pleas for deeper intimacy? Go ahead, do any of that. And then hear how quickly the conversation goes south. No, the way to play this card is with AMUSED MASTERY. What a funny bird to be talking like this to you, as if you’ve been breathlessly anticipating her call for weeks! She is so weird. And a little stalkerish. You are amused by women’s hyperbolic drama when you know what uneventful lives they really lead. You reply, “Wow, you’re weird. Thinking about me the whole time?”

“Or is there an alternative?”

You are the friend, and she is in your friendzone. You are the alpha male, and she is a contestant for a slot in your harem. You are the doer, the creator, the lover, and she is the appreciator of your masculine vitality, the very vitality that women everywhere secretly envy and wish for themselves. That means, she exists to entertain you. She will enjoy your time when you have time to spare. She is your toy, not the other way around.

Remember this. Now you have inner game. You have the attitude. The attitude will infuse your arteries like rivulets of mutant DNA, transforming you from needy beta to alluring alpha. She’s a strange duck, so full of herself, but you’ll play along. You like to have fun. So you tease her. And you taunt her. And you dismiss her when she tries to angle you as the eunuch lump she used to dump all her gripes on. “So let me tell you about this guy who…” Sssshhhh… be quiet, socially awkward attention whore penguin. Did you know you have funny looking feet? What’s that? Still blabbering about this other guy? Thanks for the medical update on the condition of your vagina. So hot, so attractive. No wonder you’re still single.

Do you see, reader? Have you been darkly enlightened? Then go forth, and recreate. And return here when you have something uplifting to tell us all.

The Vapidity Of Lena Dunham

Lena Dunham, a dumpy SWPL whose TV show Girls is all the talk of the ugly, undersexed pundit class, tweeted the following in response to an alleged spotting of an Unidentified Hate Object (UHO) on the campus of her alma mater, Oberlin College:

Hey Obies, remember the beautiful, inclusive and downright revolutionary history of the place you call home. Protect each other.

Turns out the story has all the makings of a beautiful, inclusive and downright predictable hoax. (Case in point: a picture of the thing who claimed it saw a KKK apparition.)

Naturally, Oberlin, that hotbed of intellectual diversity, free thought and stiffened spine, closed classes for the day so that students who were not previously learning anything useful could reflect on how little they were learning at Oberlin and how much it was costing them. But, hey, in the meantime they could all stroke each others’ egos in a glorious spasm of witch-burning self-righteousness.

Dunham’s tweet is exactly the sort of auto-pilot brain burp you would expect from an obedient cog in the Cathedral machine. Unthinking, vapid, masturbatory. She is an idiot and it makes one wonder who is the real writer of her show.

These racial hoaxes made by the degenerates and defectives of society seem to be on the rise lately. What is the ratio of phony white male racial crimes to actual white male racial crimes? It’s got to be at least 10 to 1, and probably more like 100 to 1. Duke lacrosse was a doozy of a lie that might represent a watershed in just how much bullshit white America will continue to swallow by racial hucksters and leftoid moralizers. In contrast to imaginary white male racial hate crimes, the existence of non-white racial hate crimes is all too real… and all too ignored by the prestige press.

Alpha Male Power Moves

Making people wait

Show up late. The King does not wait patiently for guests to arrive. The King arrives for meet and greets when guests are assembled in breathless awe. Principle applies equally to throne rooms and bar rooms. Arrivals, replies to questions, decisions to consensus building exercises, request fulfillments — all should be delayed to the point of provoking discomfort in others, but not beyond. People naturally assume the higher status of those who don’t jump when asked.

Not laughing at jokes

The King is not amused. And he is hard to amuse. The King does not suffer unfunny boobs gladly. The King does not care about fortifying social cohesion with insincerity, so he will stare at you expressionless if your joke bombs. He will not fake laugh to make you feel at ease. He will not laugh uproariously if you are a hot girl making a lame joke. You will feel uncomfortable, and this is why you will try harder to impress the King. The King knows this. He luxuriates in your appeasement.

Staring past people

You talk to the King? Impudent plebe! The King hears you, but his attention is elsewhere. Past you. Over you. Through you. Your entreaties are puffery to the King, because he has heard it all before. Your cleverness is dulled. Your insight is clouded. Your conversation is trite. And yet, somehow, despite all evidence to the contrary, the King answers you as if he had been listening intently the whole time. You feel relieved. You like this feeling, so you set about to win the King’s approval again. And again. And again.

Cutting people off

You talk and talk. The King has a thought of his own. It could be a grand thought, or a trivial musing. It doesn’t matter, because it is the King’s thought, and that means the King will cut you off mid-sentence to regale the masses with his wit and wisdom. His voice commands, his self-confidence refuses impugning, his happy entitlement woos crowds. Even you, cast aside and set adrift, find strange succor in the King’s heady leadership.

Disappointing people

The King has so many matters he must tend to. People need and want the King. His presence — nay, his blessing! — is requested at board meetings, parties, events and bedrooms. The King’s plate is full. It is always full. And this fact makes the King smug, even resentful. The King likes to disappoint people. Or, more precisely, he cares not for pleasing people. He knows scarcity is part of the appeal of his brand of authority. His subjects will wait on him, and he will sometimes not show up. And those subjects will be sad. So sad, in fact, that the next time the King *does* show up, their joy will be overflowing.

***

You may think these are dickish moves. You would be right! But the alpha cuts his teeth on dickishness. There is no alpha male who is not, at times, dickish. It comes with the territory. And since dickishness is a territorial aspect of alpha maleness, those who mimic it are presumed alpha themselves. And that, my budding alphas, is how you win pussy and influence people.

Alpha Male Power Moves will be a continuing series. Lord knows the incredible shrinking American Beta Male needs the lessons.

Good White Liberal Translation Dictionary

Over at GLPiggy’s, a discussion has ensued about an article written by a white man describing his experience growing up in a predominantly black neighborhood in Philadelphia. It’s the heartwarming story of a good white liberal daring to confront his deepest, darkest thoughts on the subject of race and what we in the sanity industry call “reality”.

Normally, good white liberal forays into the topic of urban real estate require a handy dandy translator service if you aren’t up to speed with the encryption used to guard the moral boundaries that separate crimethink (what we in the candor industry call “realtalk”) from cocktail party sophistry. That pulpit isn’t going to draw the flocks of finger-waggers if you can’t maintain the plausible deniability of the self-righteous neo-Puritan thundering against the boogeyman of Southron witches.

Good White Liberal Translation Dictionary

“dangerous” = black
“bad” = black
“sketchy” = black
“marginal” = black
“touch and go” = black
“rough” = black
“crime prone” = black
“inconvenient” = no cabs = black
“gun free zone” = black, as translated from the MSM-ese
“no-go” = 100% black
“ghetto” = archaic, so black has become unacceptable as a euphemism
“teen gangs” = the blackest of black
“seedy” = black + street walkers
“scary” = witnessed a black committing a crime there
“tricky” = black, with some mestizos
“crazy” = more trannies than blacks
“edgy” = African immigrant blacks with jobs + overpaid gay web designers
“borderline” = black, but saw some white faces and exhaled with relief
“decent” = less black
“up and coming” = even less black
“expensive” = non-black
“yuppie” = been non-black so long forgot how bad black was
“boring” = asian

This translation dictionary is a valuable companion on your sojourns through the land of clever silly SPWLs. Good luck trying to get a high verbal IQ SWPL to admit to what they’re actually saying. You may as well try to squeeze blood from a lawyerchick. But now you don’t have to do the impossible; with this dictionary, you’ll be able to suffer through semantic legerdemain while nodding knowingly and hoisting a craft brew in tacit tribal affiliation.

Men Turning Their Backs On Modernity

Masculinized women. Feminized men. Witch hunts for white boogeymen. Enfeebling government largesse. Humiliating reeducation camps. Self-aggrandizing social media. Ruling class treason. Corn and porn. Hypocritical, status whoring SWPL leftoids robotically sermonizing about a diversity they spend vast energy fencing off from themselves.

It’s enough to make a guy want to say “Fuck it to all that.”

And some men are doing just that, before the diseased forces of modernity permanently infect their sanity. Commenter Dan at Mangan’s writes,

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a dozen years ago. It was not a misdiagnosis then. I was a mess with run ins with the police and mental institutions and a suicide attempt where my life had to be saved, while managing to graduate with honors from an Ivy league school.

Since then, I’ve had totally smooth sailing with stable marriage and four kids so far, a long tenure at a successful job, a nice house, large savings and so on, and some political activism while I tapered off medication almost completely.

Here are some lifestyle changes:
– Going from binge drinking to no drinking
– Going from massive caffeination to no caffeine.
– Going from lots of all-nighters to sleep every night
– Going from atheism to faith (if you are an atheist and not suicidal, you aren’t trying hard enough)
– Becoming conservative, not just politically but behaviorally
– Going from being the life of the party to being a bit square

When I changed, my friends said they wanted the old me back. Ha. The old me was mentally diseased and headed for a graveyard.

Mental illness likely has a genetic origin, but the particular ills of modern society — a recent innovation in human cultural ecology that is undoubtedly exerting powerful selection pressures on first world peoples that perhaps rival the great genetic selection events of the ancient past — could be exacerbating tendencies to psychological distress. Evidence is mounting all around us that Western people — whites especially, and white women the most — are unhappy, frazzled and dangerously delusional, even though they can’t quite put their fingers on the cause of their anguish and quixotic need for comforting self-flagellation.

Some turn to medication. Others, like Dan above, rearrange their lives in hopes of warding off the gray shroud of ennui. And they rearrange in a way that, intentionally or not, closely conforms to the kinds of lives that men led pre-postmodern America. They become less of what the modern society demands more of, and embrace the opposite of that which the modern society inexorably pushes one toward.

The men who turn their backs on modernity become less secular, less spastic with stimulants, less beholden to participation in the rat race, less burned out by digital addictions social or sexual, less political, less engaged in media-fed triviality, less liberal (yes), and less status-conscious. They may even become less sociable, as it seems a precondition of eschewing the trappings of modernity is a willingness to ostracize oneself from the hedonist herd.

This is not a lifestyle choice for everyone. Some of us like our freedom and sexual cornucopia, and can better manage, or compartmentalize, the peculiar stressors of secular modern society. But many people would find much comfort and peace of mind by essentially flipping the bird to the trajectory that the West is currently on. If you believe that maximizing human happiness is a noble goal, then you wouldn’t stand in their way.

Was Satoshi Kanazawa Right?

Satoshi Kanazawa, an evolutionary scientist and former columnist at Psychology Today who wrote an article (since pulled, and which got him fired from the magazine) about the attractiveness of the different races of women, (concluding that black women were the least attractive), might, in the end, have had his analysis vindicated.

Peter Frost, over at his blog, Evo and Proud, has a good post delving into a study by Michael Lewis et al which examined the attractiveness of the big three races. He starts with a primer about the evidence that beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, it is objectively measurable and only “subjective” inasmuch as the perception of objective beauty resides in the individual brain.

Notions of human beauty seem to develop along similar lines in all humans. Children as young as 2-3 months old look longer at female faces that adults have rated as attractive, be they white infants looking at faces of black women rated by black men or black infants looking at faces of white women rated by white men (Langlois et al., 2000; Langlois et al., 1991; Langlois et al., 1987; Langlois and Stephen, 1977). Similar findings have been obtained with adults of various racial/ethnic origins (Bernstein et al., 1982; Cunningham et al., 1995; Maret, 1983; Miller, 1969; Perrett et al., 1994).

In the most comprehensive of these studies, Cunningham et al. (1995) assessed criteria of female beauty among men of different ethnic backgrounds: Taiwanese, White Americans, Black Americans, and recently arrived Asian and Hispanic students. All of them perceived a female face to be more attractive when possessing high eyebrows, widely spaced large eyes with dilated pupils, high cheekbones, small nose, narrow face with thin cheeks, large smile, full lower lip, small chin, and fuller hairstyle.

To be sure, the East Asian men tended to prefer more immature and inexpressive faces whereas the Black American men tended to prefer women with larger buttocks and a heavier body build. These differences in preference, however, are much smaller than the differences in physique that actually exist among human populations.

Just as I have been saying: there are universal beauty standards molded by smaller regional racial preferences.

So what happens when physically different populations come into contact with each other? Are some judged to be better looking than others? And is there consensus on this judgment?

The anticipation is killing you! I hope it lasts.

Finally, Lewis addresses the possibility that this gender asymmetry may reflect an underlying asymmetry in sexual attractiveness: “If there are differences between the relative attractiveness of the genders between different races then asymmetries in interracial marriage will follow.” To this end, he asked male and female volunteers to rate the attractiveness of human faces that differed by ethnicity and gender. Of the male raters, 15 were White, 2 were Black, and 3 were Asian. Of the female raters, 14 were White, 3 were Black, and 3 were Asian.

The results are shown at the top of this post. Female raters gave the highest ratings to Black men, followed by White men and East Asian men. Male raters gave the highest ratings to East Asian women, followed by White women and Black women. There was no significant interaction between the race of the rater and the race of the face being rated.

This research, at least, supports Kanazawa’s theory that black women are the least attractive of the major races of women. Read the comments to Frost’s post as well. They are very good and blessedly free of feminist or equalist cant, even the ones which question the validity of the study or the conclusions one can draw from the data. Interestingly, in the chart appended to the top of Frost’s post, the standard deviation — or “spread” — of beauty is highest among white people (and lowest among blacks, except for Asian males). So, although the white beauty average is higher, there are more very ugly people and very beautiful people within the white race. The spread between ugly and hot, in other words, is greatest among whites. This observation falls in line with what appears to be a general trend for whites to have very large spreads in quality along multiple measurable human traits.

White people are, essentially, nature’s favored evolutionary guinea pigs. They are experimented on to a greater degree than other races, and as a result there are a lot more experimental failures, and a lot more experimental successes, within the white race.

My personal opinion on this matter of interracial attractiveness — besides the belief that nothing pricks the collective id like a rip-roaring, no-egos-spared discussion about the hotness of this or that group’s women — is that, like the women of most races, there are a fair number of hot black chicks I have seen whom I would most assuredly and happily defile with sweet lovemaking. And there are a lot of gross white women I wouldn’t touch with Tim Wise’s precious anti-racist dick. Honey Boo Boo’s mom comes to mind as a perfect example of the genre.

But we are talking about averages. If you don’t know what an average is, you should leave the internet and return when you are more enlightened than a garden slug. And, on average, I have noticed that some races just have proportionately more bangable women than do other races.

That’s all. If you can’t comment below without propping your ego with a strawman, or a hayfield of strawmen, you will be banned. Life is too short to tolerate obtuseness and trollery.

Anyhow, Frost talks about his own research into facial attractiveness, and explains where his conclusions or theories differ from Lewis’ study above.

Nonetheless, there are significant differences between my findings and Michael Lewis’. The cross-cultural study showed a general preference for lighter-skinned women, but only at the lighter end of the local range of skin color. We see this in folk terminology. Traditionally, a beautiful woman was ‘white’ in Europe and East Asia, ‘golden’ in Southeast Asia, and ‘red’ in sub-Saharan Africa.

As for my menstrual cycle study, the darker male face was indeed more strongly preferred by women in the first two-thirds of the menstrual cycle, i.e., when estrogen levels are high and not offset by progesterone. Yet, even in that group, there was still more preference for the lighter male face. In other words, estrogen seems to weaken a woman’s resistance to darker male skin, without reversing the direction of preference, at least not fully. […]

Finally, the ideological environment has changed over the past twenty years. In Lewis’ study, the White raters showed no tendency to prefer their own kind—an unusual finding in itself. Many of them may have thought long and hard before choosing a White face over a non-White one. Of course, this possible anti-White bias would not explain the gender asymmetry. It would simply shift all preferences towards the darker end of the color spectrum.

And that leads to another point. Perhaps some of the raters were unconsciously using East Asian preference as a proxy for White preference. In our current ideological environment, it is legitimate to admire East Asians for a wide range of good qualities: politeness, work ethic, self-discipline, attractive facial features, and so on. Such admiration incurs no social cost. So if you feel ashamed of your preference for White people, why not repackage it as East Asian preference?

Frost posits an evolutionary mechanism by which black men and white women would become more physically attractive over generations.

In some populations, men competed against each other for access to women. This was especially so in tropical ‘horticulturalist’ societies where year-round farming enabled women to provide for themselves and their children with little male assistance. For men, the cost of taking a second wife was close to zero and may even have been negative. Such societies thus had a high polygyny rate and correspondingly intense male-male rivalry for mates. The pressure of sexual selection was therefore on men.

In other populations, women competed against each other for access to men. This was especially so in continental Arctic societies where men provided almost all the food and where long-distance hunting caused more deaths among young men than among young women. Such societies thus had a low polygyny rate and a surplus of women on the mate market. The pressure of sexual selection was therefore on women (Frost, 1994a, 2006, 2008).

I’ve come across this theory before in different outlets, so it’s not like Kanazawa is some kind of freakish radical for suggesting it in the pages of Psychology Today.

A reader mildly objects:

My one caveat is that black women may not photograph as well as women of other races.  Having recently spent some time in the Caribbean around (non-fat) black women and I can say that there plenty _plenty_ of good looking black girls, at least where I was.  But I’ve never found black women all that attractive in photographs.  And the obesity epidemic in the US has hit them hard too.

A caveat worth considering. I’ll assume the Lewis study used photographs of slim black women, or at least photos of black women who were comparably thin to the other women, because otherwise that would qualify as a major flaw and oversight by the researchers.

As for the idea that black women photograph worse than women of other races, I’m not sure I buy it. Bodybuilders have known for a long time that tanned skin, sometimes tanned to the point of orange-y absurdity, looks better in glossy mags. Darker skin captures plays of light in more pleasing ways. Perhaps the reader is referring to the facial bone structure of black women, what with their pronounced jawlines and unappealing prognathism, and how that may contribute to their looking worse in photos. That’s possible, but I can’t figure out a way that theory would work such that the faces which look bad in 2D look better in 3D. Maybe some photoshop experts in the audience could lend their opinions.

Also, is it possible that sexual selection in some outlier black majority communities, like the Caribbean, runs the other way, producing hotter women and blander men? A sex skew in the favor of men could certainly produce more beautiful women over time. So could a greater demand by women for men who can provide for them. You might see this happening in black societies with white minorities, where the continual reminder of the minority’s higher status compels black women to seek out more paternal and productive and less showboat-y caddish black men. Or you might see it in societies where the women are not able to provide for themselves as easily as they can in lands with more fertile soils and better climate or where there’s a generous welfare system in place that substitutes for male provision. Pure speculation, but isn’t that the seed corn of scientific truth?

March 2013 Beta Of The Month

The readers squalled, and their demands were answered: Beta of the Month is back in a big way. And why not? There’s nothing like a real life story ripped from the headlines to illuminate the reality of female hypergamy for strong and desirable alpha males, and the dire self-inflicted powerlessness of beta males which pushes their women into the waiting arms of lovers or divorce lawyers. Let us hie to the Betadome!

******

March 2013 BOTM Candidate #1 was submitted by a reader who requested anonymity. The reader pulled this first candidate from an online forum for Catholics, and he writes:

You must teach Catholic/Christian men to rule their wives. Save Christianity, save Western civilization. Or something like that.

If you don’t, who will?

Could it be…… Satan?

Ok, then. Class is now in session. And what group is more in need of an education in the reality of the sexual marketplace than gullible white knights and mincing betaboy men of the Church? Like most Western institutions, the Church has succumbed to the grinding feminization of its traditions and ideals. BOTM Candidate #1 weeps his plaintive wail to his Lord and the flock:

Hi,

My wife of 12 years and mother of 4 told me she wants a divorce because she has “fallen out of love” with me and can “never love me again. “

Where have we heard this before… oh yeah, everywhere.

Last night she explained her life plan, that I would buy her a car and two condos so we could be divorced and neighbors. She said her online friends are doing it that way.

Ballsy bitch. This “life plan” is a tidy encapsulation of the desire of women to extract emotional and financial resources from doting beta males while being free to pursue sexual resources from sexy alpha males. I love the “all our friends are doing it” appeal to popularity. Men use arguments to win the crowd. Women use the crowd to win arguments.

I don’t want a divorce but I do want to separate our finances. She’s been running up secret debts and taking out “loans” for her Etsy shop, and I don’t know of a way to stop her from driving me into a second bankruptcy so long as she is my legal spouse.

Marriage is a sucker’s bet for men. Western women simply know how to play this game better. The best way for men to play is to not play at all. At least not until there are significant legal and cultural reforms that level the playing field away from the direction toward wives that it has tilted for a few generations.

She’s been hinting that she has a long-distance boyfriend, and announcing that she wants to convert to the LDS church. I think she’s only saying that to try to get under my skin, but if true I wouldn’t want her as my wife and mother of my kids respectively.

When women fall out of love, they become as stone cold ruthless as the best trained warriors. If the man sticks around instead of freeing her, she will rapidly turn from cold to icily cruel.

I would enjoy life more without her, and I can’t imagine that divorce could possibly be more expensive than marriage to her thus far. I would really like getting to make it to mass (which she is absolutely against in practice, if not in word. )

Most women aren’t thinking about the financial angle when they want out from a marriage to a mewling beta. They’re thinking about getting away from the stench of his nauseating seed.

I don’t know. I bought her a bouquet of flowers last night and gave her more money, but I don’t think that marriage is a viable long term solution.

Systemic beta failure.

My mother was hospitalized yesterday and is facing possible death and almost certain permanent disability. And I haven’t slept much. So, I might be missing something obvious.

You can say that again.

I don’t know what to do. I turned to the rosary and felt prompted to buy a dozen roses. I talked to my priest, he was very kind and offered to prey for me.

Has a more fitting typo ever been seen in print?

My wife wants to keep this secret from everyone. I’m of two minds about that, on one hand the privacy might give her the leeway to back down. But on the other hand I think that divorce is a public problem. She said in response that we could separate and be married too.

By nature I like to let things blow over,

And that is why you fail.

but I fear that my serenity is foolishness or cowardice.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me ten thousand times, I’m a beta.

She refuses to go to marriage counseling.

It’s amazing how much smarter than the average man women are about evaluating relationship health and prognoses for remediation. Hopefulness is cowardice and cowardice is beta.

Anyway, I could really use some wisdom. In out of my field of expertise.

Poor bastard. Can anyone deny that this is a good man? He loves his wife. He’s emotionally close to her. He’s generous with his time and attention and money. But he has a fatal flaw. He’s a beta male. And that beta groveling he thinks is the key to winning the renewed love of his wife is JUST THE FAILURE that will ensure her loathing.

******

March 2013 BOTM Candidate #2 was submitted by reader dorsey47. It’s a video by a creativity class SWPL (aka try-hard beta) of his ELABORATE proposal to his rather plain-looking girlfriend who sports a *danger* male digit ratio *danger*.

Overproduced schlock. Any man who spends this much energy producing a film school highlight reel of his proposal to his girlfriend is a beta. Any man who constructs a proposal that requires the participation of twelve indie drummers and gifts and prizes spread out over twelve days is a master beta.

Look, I’m a romantic as much as the next hedonistic whore. But there’s an alpha way to romance a lady, and a beta way. Showering a girl with presents over two weeks and honoring her with a movie documenting the whole deranged process that took 1,300 man hours to complete is the beta way.

The overproduced and overdone film festival proposal is a sign of the times. That sign screams loud and clear: BETA MALE MUST GIVE IT HIS ALL TO SECURE FIDELITY FROM CHUBBY FRUMP. PRIME DIRECTIVE: SPIT SHINE WOMAN’S PEDESTAL.

Do women love this kind of stuff? Yes, in the abstract. Do they respect it? Unsure. Do they get aroused by it? No.

If you are a beta male thinking about drawing up schematics for a truly awe-inspiring proposal to your girlfriend, might I humbly suggest you instead divert that energy into more satisfying and personally advantageous pursuits, like a job promotion or an update to your herbish wardrobe? She’ll still love you, and you’ll have increased your options among prettier women. Win, win!

******

March 2013 BOTM Candidate #3 was submitted by reader Larry. Take some Tums, because this story is revolting. If you don’t feel a gag reflex, your stomach is stronger than mine.

A Staten Island woman went the full EatPrayLove on her beta hubby, and was predictably killed by some swarthy roustabout in Turkey. Ho hum, right? Well, it gets worse. To appreciate the glorious soul-imploding banality of this particular beta male husband, you have to read his words. Reporters found a treasure trove of Instagram messages from the husband that were posted a few weeks before his wife left on her self-actualization sabbatical.

“Don’t cheat in relationship [sic],” reads Steven Sierra’s Instagram posting dated Dec. 28. “If you’re unhappy then just leave.”

He put up another message later the same day, adding, “A real relationship is where you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets, no lies.”

My guess is that the wife is the one who cheated. Cheating men rarely confess their sins in this manner. Neither do cheating women, but cheated on betas DO confess their helplessness to any who will listen.

“Good relationship [sic] don’t just happen,” the post reads. “They take time, patience and two people who truly want to be together.”

The wife is spinning out of the beta’s control, and he is desperate for answers. The flail is strong in this one. As is the martyrdom.

“People are to be LOVED. Things are to be USED. The reason why the world is in chaos is because THINGS are being LOVED and PEOPLE are being used,” the message declares.

That’s actually pretty fucking poetic. Is there hope for this beta? HA.

Turkish media have also reported that Sarai’s brother, David, warned his sister against cheating on Steven and encouraged her to simply leave him.

Yup, she cheated.

In an interview with Turkish paper Hürriyet, Steven [the jilted husband] said that his wife had insisted on going to Turkey and that he accepted her wishes. He has been mum on the rumblings of infidelity.

Never…. NEVER… allow your wife to travel overseas without you if there is even a hint of trouble in your relationship. You may as well give her a one-way ticket to cockalopolis.

“I had to permit her to go,” he said. “She was very insistent on going. In such situations. you have to support your wife.”

“I had to permit her to go… In such situations, you have to support your wife.” The rallying cry of the beta male. Wife cheated, wants to go to Turkey by herself? She’s BEGGING you to put your foot down and be a man for once in your pathetic life. She doesn’t want your permission. She doesn’t want your suppoooooort. She wants your strength. She wants you to take what is yours. She wants to feel your POWER. The alpha male POWER that is the only known force in the universe that can rend vaginas sealed shut by the weak solicitations of mincing beta males.

And if she still disobeys you, at least you have your dignity, you fucking faggot. You can walk away from her with your balls intact.

Sheltered numbskulls who fervently latch onto the belief that emotionally distant husbands are the primary reason women fly the coop have no goddamned clue how much women despise weak, emotionally available men. Beta men. They need to get out more.

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