The Settling Order Of Men With Limited Options

How do men with constrained options choose which women deserve their commitment and emotional and resource treasure? There’s a hierarchy to the order of settling for Men Without Options (M-WOs) and Men With Limited Options (M-LOs), but before we get to that, we need to clarify our premises so that we can better understand the settling hierarchy. A man with limitless sexual market options — aka a man who has his pick of the kitty litter aka a super alpha — wants and desires the same thing that a man with no options wants and desires; specifically, a young woman with a pretty face, a slender hourglass-shaped body and a feminine, becoming temperament.

The only difference between the piss-stained homeless bum and the captain of industry is the ability of each to fulfill his shared desire for young, slender babes. That’s it. The desires are the same but the fulfillment of those desires varies wildly from man to man.

Any fat chick who tells you that her repulsive condition is Ok because at least fat men will always be there for her misunderstands the nature of the sexual market. Fat men without compensating male attractiveness traits will only be there for her because they have no other choice; expand (heh) the fat man’s options through, say, wealth or game or wit or social status cues, and his reluctance to settle for fat chicks rises in proportion to his increasing options among thinner, sexier women.

Thus, the hierarchy of settling that describes men with options is not very interesting. It would be a short ranking that starts and ends at “young, hot, tight, sweet”. At the very top of the alpha male heap, there is no settling at all. A few super alphas have practically unlimited choice in women, and their cornucuntia could not be exhausted given one hundred lifetimes of skirt-chasing.

At the bottom end of the male SMV scale, the omega males and dick dregs lurk. Their settling order, too, would be a short ranking: it would begin and end at “take whatever female filth will have me”. A few are lucky to have internet connections and porn outlets, in which case the living flesh vaginas of obese monstrosities, toothless methheads and prognathic missing links can’t compete with remote digital simulacra and chafed fap hands.

As with the super alphas, the hierarchy of settling that describes men with no options is also not very interesting.

But what about the rest of menkind? How do the remaining 80% of men — men who are bound by involuntary restrictions lenient and punitive on their dating choices — decide how far down the female attractiveness ladder they’re willing to descend? What is the settling order of the masses of beta males who aren’t particularly attractive nor unattractive to women, but who struggle to acquire the kind of stimulating pussy they really want?

Legend

Hot = pretty face (objectively measurable, highly correlated with youth, 8-10 on looks scale)
Pretty = minor flaws (6-7 on looks scale)
Plain = medium flaws (4-5 on looks scale)
Ugly = major flaws (2-3 on looks scale)
Fugly = extinction level flaws (0-1 on looks scale)
Slender = hourglass figure, 17-22 BMI, 0.65-0.75 waist-hip ratio
Bangable = 23-24 BMI, 0.65-0.75 WHR
Chubby = 25-26 BMI, 0.75-0.80 BMI
Fat = 27-28 BMI, 0.75-0.80 WHR
Shaneequa = Same as Fat, except more hourglass, fat sits in rump, hips and pendulous tits
Sausage = Same as Fat, except more cylindrical, 0.80+ WHR
Formless Blob = 29+ BMI, WHR irrelevant at such sizes
Young = 15-25 (18-25 under existing legal constraints)
Less young = 26-30
Not So Young = 30-35
Older = 36-40
Old = 41-50
Expired = 50+ (invisible to men with options, last resort for men without options)
Sweet = feminine disposition (empathetic, nurturing, kind, generous, employed in female-oriented profession)
Sassy = femininity salted with sarcasm and insecurity
Dull = lacking in any discernible personality
Self-Centered = attention whore
Caustic = Angry, humorless, bitter, nasty
Man-Like = Aggressive, ambitious, cutting humor, selfish, slutty, employed in male-oriented field
N/A = Not applicable

Settling Order Of Men With Limited Options

1. Hot/Slender/Young/Sweet

Most of these girls are scooped up by alpha males. For a night, at least.

2. Hot/Bangable/Young/Sassy

Hotness and youth still exert the most influence on a man’s requirements in a lover, but the tier of men (lesser alpha) who must make some small concessions to snag a hot, young lover will generally accept in their women a few extra pounds and a little more annoying sassiness.

3. Pretty/Slender/Young/Sweet

Facial hotness is so crucial to a woman’s dating success that when men have to sacrifice a little bit of facial beauty in their lovers, they tend to tighten up their standards for the other three attractive female traits. Here we find the greater betas who are dating young 6s and 7s with very nice bodies and wonderful personalities.

4. Pretty/Bangable/Young/Sassy

Again, greater beta males and some lesser alphas populate this settling group. You’ll notice that the requirement for youth hasn’t yet budged a day past 25 years old. Men will choose youth and beauty before perfect bodily dimensions and heavenly femininity, particularly when LTRs are under consideration. (This post is primarily focused on LTRs, which is the romantic arrangement to which “settling” usually refers.)

5. Pretty/Bangable/Less Young/Sassy or Dull

Now we enter the realm of real sacrifice. Here you’ll find your established “good catch” beta males who must make painful concessions to achieve love with a pretty girl with a decent body. The first major concessions are usually age and personality — most men are willing to put up with annoying personality quirks and an upward age adjustment to enjoy the scenery of a pretty face and curvaceous, taut physique.

6. Pretty/Chubby/Less Young/Man-Like

What, chubby girls can be pretty?!? No. Most girls with naturally pretty faces who are twenty or more pounds overweight will have concealed whatever prettiness was there under a layer of blubber . The common refrain from desperate mothers trying to marry off their slacker sons — “but she has a such a pretty face” — is often a dead giveaway that the girl in question is a fatso. That said, there are very exceptional girls who can manage twenty extra pounds and keep a pretty face suitable for excellent blowjobs because the fat accumulates in places hidden by clothes. The slightly better than average beta male with something going on for himself will be forced into this settling category. He’ll take the extra pounds (can’t really be helped in modern America what with 70% of women obese or overweight), less sprightly upper range of youthfulness, and less sparkling personalities for a shot at a girl with a face that can inspire unbidden boners.

7. Plain/Chubby/Not So Young/Self-Centered

Welcome to beta male hell. Dear Average American Man, this is your life.

8. Ugly/Bangable/Not So Young or Older/Caustic

Here are your butterfaces. Broken beta divorcees sink to this level of settling. Very horny and indiscriminate alpha males (see: roids, teenage boys) will occasionally slum it with these ladies, but never consider them for LTRs.

9. Plain/Shaneequa/Not So Young/Caustic

See #7. Substitute black beta male for white beta male.

10. Ugly/Fat/Not So Young/Sweet

A man who has to settle for a fat chick is a lesser beta male, or an extremely depressed and unconfident beta male. He will try to get a fat chick who at least treats him like a king.

11. Ugly/Sausage/Older/Dull

Say goodbye to even a semblance of a human female shape.

12. Fugly/Formless Blob/Young or Less Young/Sweet

Some men must have youthful lovers, no matter what, because there is at least a chance their seed will find fertile ground, even if the ground is a patchwork of tar pits, quicksand, bulging calderas and deep sea trenches. Here you will find those skeezy losers who prey on impressionable young fatties with willing mouths.

13. Ugly/Fat/Old/N/A (sweetness is not possible for these women)

This is the omega male wheelhouse. The walking deadmen in this group would welcome a crossbow bolt to the head.

14. Fugly/Formless Blob/Expired/Man-Like

Why are you bothering? A furries outfit with a spooge valve would feel, and look, better.

***

So there you have it. The fourteen-step settling order, from A to O.

Executive summary: Men will yield on feminine personality and a few extra pounds to get youthful and beautiful lovers, but the acceptable threshold for extra weight is met far more quickly than is the acceptable threshold for an unfeminine personality. A hot, young woman with a lawyerly in-your-face personality and with ten extra pounds distributed in a pleasing manner on her ass, thighs and tits is still more desirable than an older pretty woman with a perfect body and perfect disposition. But once the hot young babe starts to accumulate more than ten extra pounds, the older woman begins to look better and better as an LTR alternative.

Of course, past a certain age, weight, ugliness, or mannish disposition the choices become so dispiriting that men are hardly able to summon the motivation to lift a finger and pick out one grotesquerie from another.

Comment Of The Week

The COTW goes to winner

Uncle Elmer confesses:

I like to watch Vietnamese travelogues with ForeignBride while she gently massages my loins. The food variety is epic.

Some comments win on substance. Others on the style with which the words trip psychedelically off the tongue. This week’s winner is firmly in the latter category.

Runner-up comment winnner

James waxes lyrically and substantively:

PUAs talk a lot about stripper game because it’s so hard. A whiff of beta or the slightest bend to your frame, and you’re just a customer to her again.

They have so many interactions that they’re really calibrated.

Plus all game is just flipping the script on women, and stripper game is apex of flipping the script. She comes to you looking for money. You give her none, and fuck her. Using only words and actions. It’s beautiful, in its way.

It is beautiful, in its way. The seduction of a guarded, self-patrolled, high stakes, manipulative sexy temptress who eats beta male hopes and wallets for a living, using nothing but your wiles and wisdom, is animated poetry most men will never get to experience for themselves.

How To Keep A Stripper Enamored Of You

A reader asks,

Hey there, thanks for your wisdom, was a self deluded beta, and since I took the red pill been trying and getting to fake an alphatude. Just gamed 2 strippers, slept with both, one got jelous, but now I am sleeping with a very hot stripper, I think Im doing ok, but how do I treat her to keep me on her head and ruin her for other guys? Im still dating other women, but I want to keep this one, she is a very high 8 maybe a 9.

so in other words how can I keep laying this girl for a long time?

Treat her like absolute garbage. Serious, yo. I’ve yet to meet or hear of a stripper who did not keep coming back to a certified asshole for more of his special lessons in love. Personally, I have treated strippers I was fucking with more disdain and cruelty than any other woman… and they were hooked.

Consider strippers to represent the far right tail of a bell curve of women distributed by the strength of their desire for assholes, jerks and douchebags. At the far left, you have your good Christian girls with low sex drives, low impulsivity, and an inordinate fear of dying alone, childless. These women will occasionally tingle when they watch Edward get all broody in a Twilight movie, but in real life they will stick with their plush beta providers and relieve their itch for edgier guys in pulp romance novels aka female porn.

In the middle, you have most women. They like their moments of tender intimacy punctuated with Discovery Channel sex, have dated a number of badboys, have rejected a number of niceguys, like to be lied to, have had their hearts broken by men they still love, pine for that musician who always showed up late to dates and once “forgot” to invite her to his after show party, have had multiple roaring orgasms with men who told them to shut the fuck up, once caught a lover they thought “was the one” in flagrante delicto, and sort of like it when a guy doesn’t answer their texts right away, but at the end of the day (and near the end of their prime fertility years) they will settle down with a caring, dependable beta provider who remembers birthdays and anniversaries and then pop out a couple of kids with him. 1% of the kids will not be the beta’s.

At the right side of the asshole-loving curve, you find your girls who get off on being psychologically tormented by aloof men who are always one foot in, one foot out in any relationship. These are the girls who actually *seek out* the idiosyncratic charms of assholes and deadbeats and cheaters, and who, in fact, will quickly get bored with men who aren’t sufficiently dismissive of them. Niceguys have no chance with these girls. Many of these women — 20-30% of the total eligible female population — have daddy issues or a history of dating assholes or a penchant for wildly swinging from one alpha male to the next, but there are plenty of exceptions. For instance, I once had a fling with a stripper who lived with her married parents in apparent familial harmony. They often made her lunches to take to “work”, (although I doubted she told them what line of work she was in).

The further right on the curve you go, the more abuse the women crave, culminating in those women who secretly get off being hit by their lovers, and always race back to them for post-beatdown sex. In this dreadfully toxic pool swim your Rihannas and that chick who married the killer of her twin sister.

And waaaaay out there on the right tail is that stripper you, dear reader, are trying to keep around for the long haul.

Good luck!

But I can see why you have asked for help. Chewy, Pillsbury herblings with frump wives comfortably wrapped in the security blankets of boring marriages will balk, but the hottest babes are disproportionately found at the right tail of the asshole-loving curve. This is why learning the Way of the Jerk is a life path most men who have been shown the light strive to follow.

If you were to superimpose the female asshole-loving curve on the male crazy chick-loving curve, you would find that the female curve sits well to the right of the male curve. Or, men are less interested in dating the analogue of the asshole that women love. What men *are* interested in dating are hot chicks, and, regrettably, many of those hot chicks are just the kinds of women who swoon for JERKBOY CHARISMA.

Back to your quandary.

First, you are doing things right by your stripper girl. Dating two strippers at once is just the sort of drama they need to keep feeling that lovin’ feeling. It’s practically an asshole badge stitched to your jacket that says “Vaginas may now open for business”.

Second, forget about keeping this girl for the long haul. The moment you act like you’re trying to keep her around, she will lose interest and fly the coop. If you keep her on tenterhooks, in a constant state of dread, and only very VERY rarely hit her up with some beta reassurance game (“Here ya go, babe, you’ve had a tough week, so I got you this cheese stick”), you have a shot to enjoy her ripe but strangely discolored fruit for a couple of years that thousands of other men have seen. Or until she ODs.

Third, beware any stinky beta bait she will toss at you. Strippers have exquisitely fine-tuned senses for the slightest whiff of betatude. If you cave, even a little, she’s gone. Strippers will do things like ask you to light a cig for them, and if you comply, she’s eyeing up the dude across the room. They will try to dump their problems on you (and strippers have a lot of problems), but all it will take is one minute of indulging her whining and she’ll have an excuse to bail on your next night together faster than you can say “Shit, I shoulda told her to shut the fuck up instead”.

Fourth, supply her. Got blow? Then you got stripper blowing you for as long as your supply is steady.

Fifth, mark your calendar. If you can keep a stripper in your orbit for a year, it’s time to update your strategy. Strippers rarely last in relationships longer than a couple of years. Most stripper “relationships” are kaput after a few months. They also date mostly beady-eyed, beetle-browed assholes or the manager of their club. Because of this, many strippers subconsciously desire, after enough time getting burned by sexy thugs, a bit of the old beta provider comfort food. If you have strung her along for a year, consider doing something nice for her. Now don’t go crazy! A simple favor to drive her home from work, or a small purchase such as a T-shirt which displays the terraced outline of her fake tits, or perhaps a home-cooked meal of mac and cheese, are all it takes to warm the shriveled, dark heart pumping life to her glorious orifice.

Sixth, be Ok with her line of work. Don’t try to “rescue” strippers. It never works. They don’t want to be rescued. If you try, she will misconstrue that as a desire for a deeper, more loving, more committed relationship, and she will run. So if the thought of greasy men ogling your lover’s vagina hole gives you the willies, I suggest you go to book clubs to meet girls.

I hope this helps. Ideally, you would bang the shit out of a parade of hot strippers until they have hit the wall (age 25), leaving them used up husks of former human females, and then settle down in domestic bliss with a good girl who never had a monster bug STD or popped her tittie out for a random dude to admire. Then you have a solid, tight, swole marriage to a loyal wife PLUS great stories to tell your sons and grandsons. That’s the plan, anyhow.

You’ll notice that the graph only includes girls aged 18 to 30. There’s a reason for this. Most women older than 30 have lost their taste for assholes. They still tingle for them, but they don’t go batshit insane for their attentions, and they start to feel a strong need for betaboys and their gentle, cotton swab comfortableness. Part of this change in attitude is introspection brought on by the approaching wall; a single woman of maturity doesn’t have time to waste on assholes who are likely to love her and leave her. Partly it’s brought on by her own cratering SMV; assholes have more options in the sexual market and they typically cash in for younger, hotter, tighter lovers. You might say that an older woman’s assertions that she no longer cares for jerks is akin to a sour grape fruit salad rapidly spoiling.

Women Are More Emotional Than Men Because Of Biology

A reader keeps it real:

[T]he male brain experiences an acid flush about three months into gestation damaging the corpus callosum, or intermediary between the two hemispheres.  This makes women more prone to bounce around between hemispheres, and men more prone to focus cognitive energy to areas of the brain consistently.  Furthermore, the caudate nucleus, ventral tegmental area (VTA), limbic system, are shown to be up to three times larger and far more active in the female brain than in the male brain.  The combined over influence from irrational, emotional centers of the brain together with the propensity to bounce around frenetically between hemispheres, leads to a less rational, more emotional product.

And why would nature build women in such a manner?  Because, in accordance with CH axioms, nature has designed women to be more emotionally prone for the (main) purpose of child rearing.  Furthermore, the rapid oscillation between hemispheres allows them to parallelize household tasks in the home, i.e. taking care of children, cooking, cleaning, negotiating with other units in the tribe, etc.  Males on the other hand, have more inherent ability to focus.  That combined with a heightened depth perception made us more adept for the hunter gatherer role.  It goes without saying thus far, we are in complete agreement with CH maxims.

Blaming ‘gender inequality’ for the gender disparity in the sciences is equalist ego assuaging bromide proffering at its finest.

Much of game can thank biological sex differences for its inspiration. Women and men, on some very fundamental and relevant grounds, differ to the bone, and many of these psychological sex-based divisions are set in motion before birth. Instead of society or culture molding humans like clay into “gendered norms”, it is innate human biology which molds culture and society into manifesting observed sex differences. Further molding occurs as forces within the cultural fold exert amplifying or dampening effects on preexisting biological dispositions. But the culture will always reflect the biological basis of its people; it will never transform wholly into something the people are not. Or: You can’t make a Zimbabwe out of America without first swapping the Americans for Zimbabweans.

There is some reinforcing feedback between biology and the culture which biology births, and nations become strengthened (or weakened) by the best and worst genetic characteristics of its source material. As humans are bequeathed a certain degree of adaptation capability in response to environmental stressors, there can be cultural shifts to accommodate new and aggressive memes which themselves emerge organically from the biological substrate. Thus is belched from the bowels of hell the twin reality-denying Western ideologies of feminism and equalism.

But sex differences are powerful, more powerful and more fundamental than even cognitive differences between individuals or groups, issuing as sexual desire does from the more ancient hindbrain rather than the relatively recently developed forebrain. Even the most virulent memes can’t dislodge and replace sex-based desires, as we can see by the fact that men and women continue to differ radically in noticeable ways. Women have to understand that, contrary to the bitching of feminists, it is not a validation of their worth as women to strive for dominance in pursuits that have traditionally been the domain of men. (Traditions, we must note, which became established practice and unquestioned common sense because they grew out of intrinsic biological urges.)

Men must realize the opposite, as well — that they are not made more man by becoming kitchen bitches or doing more housework — but for now the propaganda campaign to push men into women’s pursuits is muted compared to the propaganda push of the feminist devolution to deny women the fulfillment of their feminine natures.

Women are more emotional, intuitive and illogical than men. Anyone who’s lived a day in his life knows this. In the worlds of corporate industry, war-making and invention, perhaps these traits are setbacks. But women should not be measuring themselves by those standards, the standards of men. They should seek succor in the standards of women, and there — in the worlds of family, social cohesion, lawfulness, empathy and child-rearing — women excel and men struggle.

There will always be among men those shut-ins, universalist heart-bleeders, and comfortably ensconced middle class herbs married to unchallenging frumps who deny or downplay the psychological differences between men and women to focus on the similarities. Yes, as members of the same species (barely), men and women are similar. Both sexes whore for status, both sexes want the best for their kids, both sexes prefer flattery to criticism, both sexes like a peck on the cheek before heading off to work. But beyond those human qualities, sex looms, in all its divergent, polarized energy, ready like a feral beast in the shadows to burst forth and maul the delusions of the most naive believers in a common humanity.

And from that realization, it’s just a hop skip and jump to noticing other divergent, multipolar differences between peoples. The shadow beasts are everywhere.

Chick Crack

Chick crack is slang for communication techniques or conversational topics which provoke emotional responses. Women breathe, crap and piss emotions, and they love men who can incite latent passions and take them on journeys to lands far from logic or restraint. For this reason, chick crack is a critical part of game, particularly the attraction stage. The man who can summon a woman’s weepy, giggly Kraken rules the seas of snatch with an iron trident.

The CH archives are filled with examples of chick crack, but trawling it could take days. Helpfully, YaReally provides a succinct list of the primary chick crack formulations:

Try Cold-reads, roleplaying, misinterpreting what she says in a sexual way, and qualifying her (these things all take her on an emotional journey).

Listen to this Mp3 from 44:20 and on where he describes examples of story-telling, cold-reading, roleplaying and misinterpreting:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/realsocialdynamics.com_audio.mp3

Go to Page 48 of this PDF and read the section on Chick Crack:

http://www.tropgentilpouretreheureux.com/download/TylerDurdenEssentials.pdf

The key thing is to push her through emotions. You can talk about World of Warcraft if that’s interesting to you, as long as you can make it emotionally engaging to her.

1. Cold reads

Be a psychic. Pretend to know something about her. (Or be very observant, and actually know something about her.) Commit these cold read openers to memory:

“I see you’re the type of person…”
“You look like the kind of girl…”
“I notice you…”
“There’s something about you that says…”

Focus on positive impressions, to get a girl talking about herself (and therefore projecting the good feelings she gets from her favorite subject — herself — onto you). Advanced cold reads use a compliment to embed a challenge to a girl’s self-conception. For instance:

“You seem really self-assured, but I can tell there are times when you struggle with doubt.”

Who doesn’t struggle with doubt? Cold read predictive power: validated. Pussy lips: blossomed.

2. Role-playing

Role-playing is basically the ability to have fun and jettison linearity for extemporaneity. (Two attributes in which most men run a deficit.) It’s fairly self-explanatory. You choose a character for yourself and for the girl (women love to be lead down these roads of whimsy), and you construct an alternate reality where the goal is to bring to life a typical female fantasy. Ideally, your role-playing characters will open the door to sexualized conversation.

Handy role-play scenarios you should learn and remember are:

Priest and wanton woman
Daddy and daughter
Boss and secretary
Photographer and model
Master and slave (save this one for the final stretch)
Professor and student
Concerned neighbor and runaway
Vice cop and prostitute
Seducer and seduced (yes, self-referential role-playing works)

The advantage of role-play is that you can be much bolder with your sexual innuendo than you could in normal conversation, because you have the plausible deniability of your character.

3. Storytelling

Similar to role-playing, except instead of making up a fun scenario involving two fantasy characters, you tell a story — embellished where necessary — involving real characters from your life. The object of storytelling is two-fold: to entrance a woman with the lure of an emotional jackpot, and to embed subtle cues of your high(er) value, aka DHVs.

Neil Strauss (“Style”) is widely considered to be the father of storytelling as a pick-up tactic. The guy writes for a living, so that would make sense. He categorizes storytelling into four types:

Implicit qualification stories

These are the stories that reveal certain positive and exciting attributes about yourself that you really want the girl listening to you to possess. So, for instance, these stories will present you as a rebel, a rule-breaker, and an impulsive lover of life with a short time horizon. The girl hears this, and feels a subconscious need to qualify herself as possessing those same exciting traits.

Self-promotion stories

You talk about yourself and your pursuits, accomplishments, dreams, whatever, but you do it with passionate engagement rather than arid laundry listing. Did you start a business with nothing but gumption and a notepad full of stray ideas? Talk about that, but describe the feelings that coursed through you every step of the way. You want her to feel like she was right there with you, reliving the excitement.

Sex-themed stories

If it’s obvious you are telling a story from your past involving third parties, you can get away with some juicy sex talk early on that you couldn’t get away with if the subject wasn’t nicely wrapped in a one degree removed package. Example: That time you encouraged your ex to do an impromptu pole dance, complete with imaginary pole, for tickets to a sold-out show.

Metaphorical stories

These can be made up or extracted from your life, but the idea is to highlight a moral quandary or a life lesson, which will further move discussion and encourage the girl’s participation. Mystery’s ant farm story is a classic of the genre.

The two key requirements of any story that you must learn are:

– The hook line. Lead a girl into your story with an innocuous question. Ex: “Have you ever been to [place X]?”

– Descriptive language. Show, don’t tell. You didn’t bike down that French boulevard with your ex, you swerved dangerously close to passing Parisians and rumbled chaotically over stony paths, as the aromas of warm bread and hyacinth filled your nose.

4. Qualification

Unlike almost every other man out there, you are qualifying her to see if she meets your strict standards for a pleasing woman worthy of your time and company. Ex: “Girls who are passionate and uninhibited are so rare nowadays. Everyone’s cautious, trying not to seem weird. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done recently?”

She will bite (they almost always do if your pick-up progression has been congruent with her escalating mood), and her emotional systems will invariably engage. Whatever you do, don’t show too much interest in her answer; you want her to impress you, and that takes work.

Careful, don’t qualify too early. You will appear judgmental, and that will close off a woman. Wait for her to show some signs of interest, then qualify her when her outer defenses are down.

5. Misinterpretation of her words as sexual intent

This is the most fun of the chick crack tactics, because it’s so childish and yet so effective at fast tracking the interaction to a coital conclusion. Ex:

Girl: “How about we dance? I like this song.”
You: “Riiiiight. I get it. [air quote] Daaaance. Rule #1 for dancing: My butt is a public work of art. That means, you can admire, but no touching. Arms up top, ok?”

Girl: “Your shirt is soooo gay.”
You: “Are you always thinking about gay sex? Perv?”

Girl: “I just got back from Rome.”
You: “Little soon for sex stories, doncha think?”

Tyler D has a version of this called “sexual predator game”, where you playfully assume everything she says or does is to get you in the sack. Ex: “You want me to get you a drink? No way. I know where that leads. Liquor me up, get my defenses down, and next thing I know you’ve tied me to the bed posts. Forget it, fatal attraction.”

Sexual misinterpretation is a riskier technique than the other ones, especially if done too early, because the girl could feel creeped out if she isn’t yet intrigued by your charms. Save this for later, after a breezy rapport is established.

***

The above are the five kinds of chick crack you should learn by heart. They are readily applicable in most circumstances, and are extremely effective at distinguishing yourself from the masses of men that cute girls meet every day. Chick crack is like a psychological branding iron that sears a woman’s limbic system, leaving a brain welt she’ll tenderly finger as wistful memories of you throb beneath.

PS Everything written in this post is evidence in favor of restricting the vote to men.

Two Words Women Need To Hear

When women ask you about your relationship status, or similarly leading questions, tell them the two words that they love to hear. The power of this reply is undeniable. No woman can resist its mystique. It’s super-charged hamster pellet, laced with PCP.

Good news! There’s another two-word answer pregnant with potential for hamsterized nuance to which women Pavlovianly react. They don’t necessarily love this reply like they love the one above, but they do need it.

This one is deployed when the woman’s drama queen quotient (DQQ, do note the relevance of the “QQ” part) has been exceeded. We’ve all been there (well, those of us who have dated hotter-than-average women have been there); one day everything is going great, the next, she’s got herself spun up into a lather about some inconsequential shit that is really a pretext for deeper relationship or dating or marital or hypergamy-denied issues. The typical beta male endures her outbursts, hoping it will all end soon, hastening it along with supplicating gestures and effusive promises to do better by her, and to his consternation and everlasting confusion gets rewarded with her resentment and sexual withdrawal.

There’s a better way. Alpha males in the audience will know it immediately. Some of them have probably used it in moments of crisis.

First, let her vent. Yes, there is a time to put your fist through a wall like an uncontrollable beastman, and a time to root yourself firmly and silently, like an oak tree, unmoved and unperturbed by her whirligig womanliness. The ratio of these seemingly contradictory alpha male responses should tilt heavily in favor of being the oak tree. Beastman mode loses its effectiveness rather quickly when overused.

After she has spent herself (momentarily, at any rate, for a woman’s DQQ energy reserves are nearly inexhaustible), gaze at her lazily and say,

“You done?”

Hamster status: nuked. Labia status: pulsating.

If you add a cocked eyebrow while saying it, you will have nuked the hamster’s home planet as well.

You may not want to stick around after dropping this bomb. Not in the same room, if you live together. Sticking around will be interpreted as waiting for a reply, and a request for continuance of her drama queenery. The better follow-up is walking away from the scene of psyche destruction, so that the words may slow boil in her brain, delivering to each scorched neuron the message that “Here stands a man who will not put up with my female shit.”

If you do stick around for more screeching, no matter what verbal artillery she redeploys your second reply should be “Good.”

Hamster cage: salted.

Wait some time, and come back to her with love in your heart. Regardless of the share of blame you shoulder for her anger, she will meekly, joyfully, relievedly surrender in apologia to your Ionic strength. Her conversation then might sound something like this:

“I know I’ve been a little crazy lately… sometimes I just wish you’d [X]… but I’ll try to be more [X] too… Im sorry, I don’t mean to be this way… do you still love me? [DOE EYES]”

This post is now done.

Reviving Girls

Forget about “opening sets”. Thinking in those terms produces a now or never mentality that is toxic to the proper cultivation of inner game, aka sustained overconfidence. A little bit of pressure is necessary to motivate oneself out of a comfort zone or lazy habit, but too much pressure will fray the smooth, self-assured delivery that is the lifeblood which oxygenates any seduction.

Plus, “opening” implies a continual search for opportunity. When opportunity presents, you pounce. When there is no opportunity, you remain unengaged. Categorizing girls into tiers of opportunity encourages the empowerment of multiple, and usually contradictory, modes of thought and behavior in oneself, which will spill over and pollute your tight game when you need it most. For instance, if you are a cold, unresponsive statue or a dull chit chatter when in the company of taken girls or less attractive girls, then the radical attitudinal shift you will have to muster when you “turn it on” in the company of girls who are available and attractive will seem of outsized difficulty, and you will have burned out before you’ve said one word.

The one mode of thinking will infect the other mode of thinking. To build a better man, you must jettison the ballast of the lesser man.

You must begin substituting the idea of opening sets, or opening in general, with the idea of “reviving” girls. You are reviving them from their slumber of sleepwalking through a world filled with bland beta males. You are reminding them what it is like to interact with a man who knows how to speak to them in the way they primally crave to be spoken to: flirtatiously, cavalierly, confidently, sexily.

In this reality, every girl you meet has come pre-opened and pre-approved, no matter her actual status as a potential lover. You flirt with all of them, because the world’s girls are yours to enjoy, and opportunity for sexual closure is relegated to a more manageable role as a happy coincidence to the goal of improved communication with the opposite sex.

This means you game — i.e., flirt and tease and generally parry in a fashion you wouldn’t with your male buddies — low opportunity girls as genuinely as you would high opportunity girls. Does she have a boyfriend? Is there a ring on her finger? Is she a bit too old for your taste? Is there a kid in tow? Is she a lawyer? Is she not your type? Doesn’t matter. You flirt with those women like you would with single women you really desire. This process builds a base of intuitive and instinctual game that cements in your brain until you don’t need to invoke a separate personality every time you square off with a legitimately high opportunity girl. It also helps to relieve the pressure when a real prospect does come along, because the alpha attitude — aka JERKBOY CHARISMA — will be second-nature to you.

As with all general rules, there are exceptions. Don’t go overboard flirting with every fug you meet. There are two problems with being so indiscriminate with your flirtatious charms. One, some of the fugs will become a little too eager to spin your light flirting into a green light to jump your bones. The less perspicacious of the fugs will have to be put down with swift and deadly force, like you would a charging rhino, and that could leave you with a bad feeling if you’re a nice guy at heart.

Two, an undue reliance on fugs to sharpen your seductive mien is more liable to dull your edge and get you stuck in a fug rut. Nobody likes getting stuck in fugruts, least of all pick-up newbies who are the kinds of men who would get stuck there and stay there, spiraling downward into an abyss of self-loathing and doubts about ever winning the love of better women. You’re a flirting cad machine, but you’re not the sloppy town man ho. Rein it in a bit when the girl is so ugly you can’t stop the smelling-poop look of disgust from materializing on your face.

Revive girls. Coax their inner sex demoness out into the world. Flirt with those taken 5s like you would those single 8s. You may be surprised to find that the ease and self-control with which you dazzle the 5s is unfailingly there to serve you when the time comes to blow the doors off the hottie 8s.