Leaving Her Better Than You Found Her? Not Likely

It’s a common admonition from pickup artists that you should leave a girl better than you found her. I suppose mainstream PUAs (well, as mainstream as PUA gurus can get) say this to soften the perception that game is horribly cynical and manipulative. While they are right to claim that game is a blessing to women in much the same way that women exercising to stay sexy and slender is a blessing to men, they are veering into hyperbole to suggest that leaving a girl after you have gamed her into however many nights of sweaty sex is going to make her a better person.

Let’s examine the suppositions behind this smooth but empty incantation. Assume the average pickup artist meets a girl he likes and they date (read: screw) for a few months. Because he is a guy who knows game, she really digs him. At this three-month critical juncture, he has a few options before him: he can choose to stick it out for longer in monogamous isolation chamber hell bliss, he can lie about seeing other girls, he can somehow convince her to be part of his harem, or he can dump her to chase fresh tail. That last choice is what we’re interested in. What would be the reasons a man would leave a girl he is banging?

– he found a hotter girl
– the full extent of her horrid personality came to light
– she gained weight or suffered facial disfigurement from an accident or attack (hey, it’s a cruel world)
– he is bursting with ball juice and can’t go more than three months without sampling new pussy
– a hotter ex came back into his life
– he cheated and decided leaving her was preferable to staying with her in penance prison, offering his manly dignity as sacrificial lamb
– he just got plain tired of banging her and needed his single life back
– he moved far away, or she moved far away
– she started pressing him to move the relationship forward
– he caught her cheating

There are, I’m sure, other reasons why a man would leave a chick, but I think I’ve hit upon the most common ones. Now ask yourself this simple question: under any of the above dumping scenarios where the man has dumped a girl who really liked him (excluding the scenario where he caught her cheating), do you honestly believe the girl is going to feel better about herself afterwards? Happier? More content with life? Filled with joy and whimsy? Will she be a BETTER PERSON, whatever the fuck that means?

The answer is contained in the absurdity of the question. Of course, she won’t be happy. I doubt she’ll be much of a better person, either. Most girls who have torrid flings with alphas might learn what kind of player warning signs to watch for, but their hearts will ache for one more of his touches, and they won’t be able to bond very well with any future men who don’t rise to the standards set by her alpha ex.

When women get dumped by men they love, they get hurt. Ask any woman recently dumped by an alpha boyfriend, and you will most assuredly not hear a melodious note of happiness in her voice. What you will hear is pain, sorrow, regret, an inability to focus on anything, and even a sense of guilt (“I nagged him too much!”). There will be tears, anger and spite. What there won’t be is some Anthony Robbins-like revelation of self improvement.

So, no, gaming a girl and bringing much joy, sexual pleasure and emotional fulfillment into her life won’t carry over into making her happier or a better person once you remove that source of joy by dumping her. You can tell yourself that the fond memories you gave her will put a bounce in her step and help her realize how fortunate she was to have spent some time with an alpha male, but in reality those memories will be like stones dangling from heavy chains tied to her soul. They will haunt her for years, even into the bed of whatever future beta she marries.

Don’t believe me? Exhibit A. Meaty Monica won the fat chick lottery and got to chomp on Bill’s super alpha stogie, and to this day, aging and fatter than ever, she can’t get let go of him. Whatever lackluster beta she was suited for in the years to follow couldn’t compare to Bill, and so her fond memories have shackled her to a miserable life of sadness and loneliness. There is no escape for the woman whose sexual market value was temporarily artificially inflated by an alpha male on the hunt for a convenient hole.

When women get dumped, they do not become better people or happier people. In 99% of male-initiated dumpings (granted, this number will always be less than the number of women dumping men, owing to the mechanism of female hypergamy), the woman reacts primarily in one of two ways.

1. She broods and licks her wounds, unleashing her sorrow on girl friends and family. In extreme cases, she will retreat to a corner in her bedroom and gaze at the wall for a few days, sustaining herself on bits of orange and water. Her cat’s fur will become soaked and matted with her tears.

2. She lashes out bitterly with rage and spite. These types aren’t as common as type #1, and that’s a good thing, for they can be a nuisance at best and a criminal threat at worst. Type 2s, slave to their uncontrollable pain and anger, will attempt to poison the well of whatever friendships or associations you shared. She will, in varying degrees, stalk you, harass you, slander you and generally try to make it difficult for you to get her out of your life without a restraining order.

This, aspiring PUAs, is what is known as leaving a woman WORSE than you found her. A more accurate description than the la-dee-da twaddle I’ve seen peddled by some otherwise sensible pickup artists.

Women suffer the hardship of breakups worse than alpha males, (though probably not any worse, and more likely better, than beta males, who are truly knee deep in the shit when they are suddenly left without a partner). An alpha male knows his prospects are virtually limitless and his time horizon longer than any woman’s. A breakup he initiates is a renewed license of freedom and sexual escapade. Even a breakup he doesn’t initiate has little impact on his life; he’ll feel bad for five minutes and fix himself right by hitting the bar that night for new numbers.

Women, in contrast, have a smaller fertility window than men, (which is just a proxy for a beauty window), and they know that each failed relationship exacts a bigger toll on their marketability and their psyches than it does on any man’s. A breakup after two years with an alpha male can leave a woman in an emotional shambles, and her real life prospects noticeably dimmed, because her dating and marriage value begins depreciating right after her early 20s, and speeding up to terminal velocity by her mid 30s. Conversely, a man’s dating and marriage value RISES right up until his 40s, give or take five years, and can conceivably continue rising well into late middle age if he has compensating attractive traits for his physical decline. Women have no such option.

It would be wise for you Don Juans to remember that, the next time you rationalize that your leaving her will actually make her a better person. There is no spinning away the ugly reality with a sappy cliche. Better to embrace your wicked choice and feast on the brutality of it all. Makes for a more invigorating life.

Judging A Girl By The Friends She Keeps

When you start dating a girl, you will get to meet her friends, sometimes sooner, sometimes later. But usually within the first couple of months you will have been introduced to nearly everyone she knows (locally), especially if she really likes you. Pay close attention to the types of friends she has (if she has any), for that will tell you a lot about her long term potential. Screening a girl for LTR worthiness based on the friendships she keeps is a powerful tool men have at their disposal, and one you should not overlook.

The following categories are ranked by LTR worthiness and chance of mental instability.

The Girl with No Friends
LTR worthiness: Short but passionate fling
Chance of mental instability: Sleep with one eye open

A girl with no friends likely has some personality defect that prevents her from forming bonds with people. Other girls regard her as a weirdo, and not without justification. Men think her social isolation means she will be an easy lay. They are right. This kind of girl is starved for human connection with a man who “gets her”. Hit those buttons, and you will enjoy a three month festival of zero-cost fornication. After a while, though, her weirdness will grate, and she will pull stunts that make you scratch your head in confusion. Girls with no friends are often brooding emo types, or cutters, and they may go batshit crazy if you dump them. Have a restraining order ready.

The Girl with No Close Friends, Only Acquaintances
LTR worthiness: Pump and dump
Chance of mental instability: Hope you like drama

The classic attention whore. The girl with nothing but loose acquaintances who flit in and out of her life craves the attention of hundreds, if not thousands, of human beings. She is usually a hot chick with a swollen ego who initially attracts girls into her reality for friendship, but who then drives them away with her insatiable appetite for social domination and ego stroking. She is a known blue ball queen who gets off stringing along beta orbiters in sexless perpetuity. She is simultaneously loved and loathed by her girlfriends, who find her outrageous fun at parties, but insufferable in more intimate settings. She is frequently bad-mouthed behind her back, and she presents one of the few cases where girl friends will sympathize more with her male suitors and boyfriends than they will with her. She is a high infidelity risk, so proceed with caution. Best used as a sperm receptacle, if you can get her to give it up (not an easy task unless you know how to expose her soft underbelly — fear of ostracization.)

The Girl with Only Family for Friends
LTR worthiness: Perennial booty call
Chance of mental instability: Riddled with insecurities

On paper, a girl who only has her family for companionship may strike you as a good LTR prospect. You think: Ah, she’s grounded, earthy, family-oriented, and shuns the nightlife. But you would be wrong. As any man who has married a “family-only” girl will tell you, they are demanding, mule-headed, socially awkward, often obnoxious and full of themselves. Remember, she’s had her family telling her how great she is her whole life, with no unbiased opinion from outside sources checking her ego. She is, in fact, not much different than the girl with no friends, except she has decided that leaning on her family for support and ego gratification is better than being alone. Other girls find her annoying at best, and arrogantly repugnant at worst, and that is why she must retreat to the comfortable confines of family for her social needs.

The no-friends girl at least has the cutesy artist angle to work; the family-only girl has nothing to offer but an unjustified entitlement complex. She is the classic daddy’s slutty princess. The family girl instinctually knows this about herself, and thus will nurse barely-concealed insecurities about her true worth, which she will take out on you, making your life miserable. Double-plus negative: You’ve gotta deal with her parents, brothers and sisters ALL THE TIME. Run away (after you’ve plundered her ass.)

The Girl with Only Guy Friends
LTR worthiness:  Second string girlfriend
Chance of mental instability: High, if you regard manipulation and tomboyishness as psychological disorders

What do you get when you surround a girl with obsequious, supplicating betas who want in her panties, and remove all contact with catty girl friends who might steal the attention of those mewling betas? Yeah, that’s right… a self-centered user. If the girl is cute, you should always cast a jaundiced eye at her if her friends are all men. Odds are very good that most of those men… actually, all of them… want to bang her (and she knows this). But they aren’t. Their job is to mingle in her glorious presence, polishing her pedestal and generally turning her into a girl who expects men to roll out the red carpet for her. She is the classic cocktease. She loves the intimate emotional connection she gets from a close circle of male friends, without having to give up her pussy to any of them or having to deal with competitor females. Now you may be the most alpha alpha male of all times, and she may love you for it, but once a girl has demonstrated by her friendship choices that she is a user, there will come a time, you can count on it, that she will try to use you. It’s best to keep her in your second tier of lovers, where her machinations won’t affect you with nearly as much import.

Caveat: If she’s plain looking and has mostly male friends, the upside of her having a well-developed sympathy for men’s peculiar challenges outweighs the downside of her having her ego stroked and her emotional needs met all the time by her male friends. All the better if most of her male friends are alphas themselves who are in relationships and who don’t spend inordinate time massaging her ego. But then why are you dating a plain-looking girl?

The Girl with Mostly Gay Guy Friends
LTR worthiness: One night stand
Chance of mental instability: She gets her own DSM edition

Same as above, except multiplied one thousand fold. A big unwritten story about the decline of the West is the deleterious impact trendy gay men have had on the egos of single urban Western SWPL women. If you can imagine it, try to picture her as nothing more than a disembodied vaginal hole. It will help keep a healthy emotional distance. A few gay guy friends is perfectly fine. Ten of them, to the exclusion of other groups of friends, is a red flag.

The Girl with Only Girl Friends
LTR potential: High, if you like lavish weddings
Chance of mental instability: Not more than the average girl, which is to say, high

The good news about the girl with only girl friends is that she is normal and feminine. She likes doing girly stuff, and if you are a real man and not a spotted-ass nerd with a jones for a butt-kicking babe who solves math proofs in her downtime, then you will appreciate being the boyfriend of this type of socially calibrated and psychologically balanced girl. There’s nothing wrong with dating a girl who, you know, ACTS LIKE A GIRL. Another plus: she doesn’t require the ministrations of hordes of beta male taintlickers to keep her from downward spiraling into depression.

The bad news should be obvious: she has no concept of what men must endure in either the dating market or the social market in general. Thus, her sympathy for men is nil, and she comes across solipsistic and self-absorbed. But she will happily bend to the will of a strong man, because she does not shun her female nature. She makes a great girlfriend; a wife, though, is an entirely different matter. That same group of supportive single girl friends who loved you as her boyfriend will tirelessly work to undermine your marriage should they themselves remain in the purgatory of singledom.

The Girl with Only Lesbian Friends

*Doesn’t exist in the state of nature.*

The Girl with a Mixed Group of Girl and Guy Friends
LTR potential: Be careful, your player days might be over with her!
Chance of mental instability: She makes most girls seem like candidates for institutionalization

And here we have the ideal girl, if LTRs are your thing. (Note: If same night lays are your thing, she is NOT the ideal girl.) She is open-minded and humble enough to enjoy the company of a variety of friends with strong opinions, she has enough femininity to relish time with girl friends, and she has enough exposure to guy friends that she can sympathize with their concerns. Ideal scenario: her girl and guy friends are all in relationships of their own. This limits the cattiness and the beta orbiter supplication to a manageable level.

A girl who maintains an attractive humility and who respects the wishes and the laments of men is a girl who is emotionally secure enough to not just tolerate, but embrace, the company of both girl friends and guy friends. She loves people for who they are, and not for what they can do for her ego.

The Girl with One or Two Player Friends
LTR potential: bimonthly tests for STDs, OR GF material
Chance of mental instability: She’s not crazy, she’s creative!

If a girl spends a lot of time with either a Samantha-type slut or a Hitch-like player, she’s got hang-ups about her sexuality and her dating market value worth. She wants to live vicariously through their exploits because she herself lives a rather modest life, or she IS like them and enjoys being with people who live and think just as she does. If the former, she might be redeemable with enough LTR game. If the latter, there’s a good chance that eerie suspicion you had that she was getting pounded by another cock last Thursday was true.

Major red flag: Double all her slut points if the time she spends with the player or the slut is over Sunday brunch at a tapas restaurant, getting drunk on mimosas.

***

My hope with this post is to impress upon the male reader the importance of not only screening girls for LTR potential, but of winning over a girl’s friends, man or woman, if you intend to date her beyond the customary three weeks. While it appeals to a certain renegade male mindset to boff a girl and pay no heed to her extraneous social life, it’s always better to have her friends on the inside of the tent pissing out, than outside pissing in. Girls, being the lemming sex, rely more heavily than men do on the judgment of their friends’ opinions about their boyfriends. If she is someone you could date for the long haul, best to befriend her social circle eagerly. If nothing else, you have neutralized any future sabotage. More likely, you have made a new group of friends. And if your girlfriend is cool, then the solid bet is that her friends are cool, too.

Goading Girls Into Testing You

The shit test — primarily used by women, as so few men shit test women — is much maligned by aspiring seducers and beta chumps. Players have devised countless tactics for recognizing and neutralizing shit tests so that they are not blown out of approaches. But what if I told you shit testing from women is ESSENTIAL to building attraction with them? That, in fact, a pickup attempt that is missing any shit testing from the girl is likely to fail.

Think of shit tests as female indicators of interest. A girl who is sweet and nice and cordial with you is a girl who doesn’t find you charismatic enough to sleep with. To her, you are just another pleasant herb in a sea of herbs who deserves nothing more than her tritest courtesies. Only a fledgling sexual attraction or curiosity can inspire a girl to shit test you, and once she is shit testing and experiencing the thrill of your acumen at passing her shit tests, her attraction begins to liquefy her panties.

Knowing this, you should regard shit tests as a peculiarly female predilection you WANT to provoke, rather than an annoyance you want to avoid. Once you start a girl shit testing, the end game of sex will materialize on the not-too-distant time horizon. It’s yours to lose once she begins her attempts to push your buttons.

Naturally, you may wonder how the average man is supposed to provoke a girl into shit testing him. There are many ways to do this, including outrageous dress, cocky demeanor, flashy jewelry, douchey accoutrements, offensive comments, jealousy plotlines, stupefying openers (see: Horse Girl) and mixed set merges. A simple way to goad a shit test is to be an average-looking guy hitting on a hot babe. After her surprise wears off (she’s not used to it), her instinct will be to test the average-looking guy for traces of the alphaness that he tacitly implies with his bold, uncommon approach. And so for her, because in general a man’s looks don’t factor as much in a woman’s measure of his sex appeal, it becomes of paramount urgency that she tease out his alpha status by fucking with his frame and subconsciously analyzing his reaction.

If you pass her tests, she opens the doors for you to move on to the next phase of her seduction.

Sift through the debris of the comment section and you’ll come across gems like this one from YaReally:

An alpha and a beta walk into a bar wearing ridiculous fuzzy hats. People make fun of both of them to their faces.

The beta feels dumb and makes excuses for wearing his hat and ends up taking it off later in the night because he’s embarrassed.

The alpha laughs and feels bad for anyone who makes fun of his hat because they obviously don’t understand how awesome it is, the poor fuckers.

Peacocking, negs, Horse Girl openers, etc. are all just ways of goading girls into shit-testing you so you can demonstrate that their shit-tests don’t phase you, which is what builds attraction (if you don’t fail her shit-test, you probably don’t fail the rest of the world’s shit-tests). If you’re a nice guy, you don’t get shit-tested, so you don’t get to demonstrate whether they’ll fluster you or not, so you don’t build attraction and stand there wondering why the asshole keeps getting the girl.

Once you fully understand this concept, pickup becomes a lot less complicated. …and a lot more fun. […]

Horse Girl builds way more attraction than most openers because it actively goads the girl into shit-testing him and lets him display his alphaness. There are a lot of deep concepts fused into that opener that most guys reading can’t see because they’re still reading the surface level words and don’t really understand how attraction works…yet. 🙂

This is the proper way to think of the old school PUA advice to stand out from the crowd. Extra tight tees, magic tricks, negs, teasing, pebbles, crazy openers, props and even assholery are best thought of not as a status boosting signal among men, but as a springboard off which women can flirt with you and test your grace under pressure. This is the key to building attraction from nothing.

Men look at hot women and we want. Women look at men and they want to know if they want. Give them the excuse they need to explore your desirability.

The Biggest Difference Between Old Men And Old Women

UPDATE

John Cleese’s 31-year younger girlfriend helps pay for his ex-wife’s alimony.

That, my friends, is the power of alpha maledom.

Money quote:

“[Cleese’s girlfriend] told me she could sell ashtrays to non-smokers. She looks nice and she is, in the best sense of the word, a sensible and extremely vibrant English lady. Thank God, he’s not with another American.”

Economists… Gotta Love Em

Did a commenter over at Cheap Chalupas just shit all over their bloated jargon-fest? Why, yes, yes he did!

Steven Kopits

This is moronic. If you[‘ve] been unemployed, your unemployable! I know any number of investment banker types who have been unemployed a long time. None of them are unemployable.

What we have here is an old-fashioned oil shock. Not more, not less. We called the recession for the fall in April, based on the historical relationship of oil prices to the economy. To date, that call is looking pretty good.

It’s not that these folks are unemployable. It’s that–on average–they aren’t allowed to use any more oil when they’re employed. We’re supply limited, just as I said we would be in my October 2009 piece for Oil & Gas Investor. There is nothing obscure going on. People are not unemployable. We are unable to form new jobs because we haven’t got the energy to do so.

I’ll add that the migration of millions of low skill peasants hasn’t exactly been a boon to the employability ranks, now has it, TCCC? Perhaps you should consult with open borders fanatic scott sumner on how best to muddy the waters for the nativist layman.

Happy Labor Day!

The Crux Of The Matter

Maxim #1(a)(2): Men want to be turned on by their women. Women want to be proud of their men.

What do I mean by proud? It doesn’t necessarily mean she’s proud of your career success. It could mean something as simple and endearing as installing a mantle over her fireplace, so that when her girl friends come over for a party and ask about the fantastic looking mantle, she can tell them, with no uncertain amount of swelling pride, that her boyfriend did it. For her.

As for you women… well, men want you to look good. Period. That means:

Be hot.
Be thin.
Be young.

Now you can’t do anything about your age or your genetically endowed looks, but you can do something about staying slim and keeping yourself looking as good as possible by adopting beneficial lifestyle habits and, if necessary, “getting some work done”.

If you ask me, I think women actually have it tougher keeping their partner attracted to them over the long run.

Alpha Delivery

In this post, I chided (chid?) a PUA newbie for unsuccessfully using a difficult and ponderous Brad P opener on a girl buddy I know, and by association criticized the opener as well. Thinking on it, I may have been a little unfair to Brad P and his game techniques. There is more — much more — to a good opener than the words that come out of your mouth.

YaReally offers up some detail:

[The Horse Opener] works for BradP because he delivers it well. He talks slow and deep and captures the chick’s attention, uses massive pauses in his delivery to build suspense, etc. But most guys who read it online just spit it out as fast as they can because they’re worried the girl will leave if they don’t get to the punchline as fast as possible, which sounds to the girl like he’s “all over the place”.

BradP does it in a challenging, accusing (breaking rapport) way. Guys trying to copy just based off his text do it in an approval seeking, needy way.

You can hear his delivery in his “The Underground Dating Seminar” which is one of the better “no fuzzy hats and black nailpolish” PUA products out there in my opinion. He actually sounds like a cool chill guy when he talks and you can see why the things he says work for him. One of his students asks “What if she calls you out on it?” “Doesn’t matter. If you’re like “Hey do you like horses?” and she goes “Isn’t that that BradP line–” “No shut up. DO you like horses?”” He expects them to fall in line, and that’s why it works for him.

Women don’t walk away when you have your subcommunications down and exude alpha behavior (like the vibe that you EXPECT them to listen to you and answer you). You can command “HEY! Come here.” from across a room and just stare the girl down like you expect her to come over, and she will. Same time you can run a 5 minute opener and blab away like Russell Brand. When your subcommunications are down you can do pretty much anything you want.

Don’t get caught up in “canned” VS “improvised” Hang around for long periods of time with any of the naturally social people you know and you’ll find they all repeat their same stories to people (sometimes even to you, forgetting that they’ve told you before) with the same wording, emphasis, etc. ie – canned routines. It’s not a bad thing. The trick is understanding that the routine isn’t magical, it’s what you’re displaying during the routine that affects things.

All good points. I haven’t seen video of BradP in action, but from what YaReally writes, I can easily picture the horse opener working very well for him. His delivery sounds alpha: slow, steady and deep with requisite pauses to build suspense and eradicate the girl’s initial impulse to pigeonhole him as just another low value beta. Newbies take note: merely mouthing the words isn’t nearly enough. Parroting an opener won’t even get you 10% of the way to successfully sparking attraction. You’ve got to work on the whole presentation, from style to posture to voice tone to alpha body language mimicry to the all-important take-it-or-leave-it attitude. Only when you’ve nailed the entire delivery can you truthfully judge which openers suck and which don’t.

The Chateau spends a lot of time discussing body language and voice tonality because the fact of the matter is that the nonverbal improvements in your game will redound to your pickup success a lot more than improvements to the actual words you spit. Like YaReally says, if your total game is tight, you can accost a girl with just about any silly line and she’ll come alive with interest.

But my issue with the Horse Opener had more to do with the idea of foisting it on unready newbs in unwelcoming circumstances. A (relatively) complex opener that requires rock-solid frame and nonverbal cues should not be the first thing with which neophytes engage the field, particularly the day game field where women are on the move. It’s setting them up for failure. What BradP can do with horses and negs, the majority of newbs cannot. It’d be best to teach these guys the right nonverbal cues with a much simpler opener that won’t have them straining to recall all the details or rushing to get the words out and then crashing and burning in DLV dorkhell.

A guy with little pickup (or female) experience will feel weird talking about horses with a random girl on the street. This is not the case for experienced womanizers, who have the self-confidence and comfortable familiarity with their skills that they don’t feel strange talking about things that would rattle mere mortals just trying hard not to sound like a social pariah.

YaReally continues:

You’re missing everything that’s going on in those “Simple Pickup” videos. (http://www.youtube.com/user/SimplePickup ) Those guys have studied pickup and use a ton of PUA concepts and routines.

What they have isn’t “pure bluster and confidence” and above average looks. There are a dozen subtle subcommunications going on in how they approach women that allow the random/offensive stuff they say to not just work but build attraction.

I won’t get into it all, study pickup literature, go out and approach girls, observe naturals, etc. like the rest of us had to but here are a few things to watch for in their vids:

– congruency. If a girl tests them, they stick to their story and turn things around on the girl like SHE’S the one being weird.

– misinterpretation. They misinterpret everything sexually, that’s why they can be talking about masturbation and 3-ways with girls they’ve only just met, they direct the conversation to a sexual topic in a smooth/funny way.

– frame control. After they say something super offensive, they’ll just stand there and stare the girl down like “ya, I said that.” totally unapologetic and unashamed. A PUA concept is “what you feel, she feels”, so she pings off him to see if he’s embarrassed or apologetic about what he said and when he’s not, she feels like it must be okay. This is why when you go up with an opener you don’t think will work, it won’t work, and when you think it will work, it works.

– breaking rapport. Their voice tonality is loud, clear, and authoritative. They make statements and accusations and don’t sound like they’re seeking the girl’s approval.

– body language. They stand up straight and don’t fidget around nervously and hold eye-contact etc.

There’s a ton of other stuff going on that you’ll see if you study pickup in-depth.

It has nothing to do with their looks, as long as you think that way you’re in the wrong headspace.

Based on YaReally’s checklist, I can easily imagine how the aspiring PUA in the failed Horse Opener attempt blew his shot.

Congruency —  Once she asked him a question about what he was getting at, he backed away from his initial boldness, and tried to explain himself. I bet he even sounded apologetic.

Misinterpretation — If anything, she was misinterpreting him.

Frame Control — As soon as she tossed that first “are you a weirdo?” look his way, I bet he got nervous and thought about bailing, thus ensuring that the remainder of his opener would come off even worse. (Once you’re committed to an opener, it’s surprisingly hard to break cadence for more fruitful pursuits. Call it the curse of the male mind.)

Breaking Rapport — She broke his rapport because his voice tonality was meek and trepidatious. If a girl is making statements and accusations, you know your game is failing. You want her to bounce off your statements and answer your accusations. From whence is love born!

Body Language — I bet he had his hands stuffed in his pockets, driving them deeper in his jeans when the opener began stinking.

I won’t bother putting looks in this list. Unless the guy was repulsively ugly, his looks or lack thereof had little to do with his failure. (The girl who relayed the story to me said nothing negative about his looks when I asked, which made me doubt it was anything more than his delivery which cost him a number close.) Men need to get it through their heads that women simply don’t react to a man’s physical attractiveness with the same urgency or lustfulness that men react to female beauty. A man with the right attitude and pickup technique will run rings around a socially clumsy or approval-seeking good-looking guy.