Soulkill

Would you men like to know what happens to your texts, IMs, emails and voicemails that you regret having sent to girls you tried but failed to bang? I have a story to tell…

Scene: House party. Ten people sitting languidly in a living room, drinking and socializing. Seven girls, three men, including yours truly. The girls are all in their 20s, in the 6-8.5 looks range. These girls are not sluts or lawyer cunts. They are, by most objective measures, “good girls”; exactly the kind of normal, cute girls men would be happy to have as girlfriends, and to introduce to mom.

One of the girls, the second cutest of the bunch, is showing her phone to her BFF. Another girl asks what she’s doing.

She smiles broadly. “That guy I broke up with last week sent me a Facebook message. It’s SO sad! But kind of sweet, too.”

“Ooh, let’s see!”, the other girls practically squeal in unison.

Her BFF interrupts, “Did he send this after you broke up?”

“Yes! OK, so I broke up with this guy last week over email, because I’m too scared to do it in person.”

The other girls titter knowingly.

She continues, “Lemme read what I wrote to him first, so you get an idea.”

She begins reading from her phone and quoting her break-up email, which, paraphrased, went something like this:

“Hi there, [REDACTED], I just wanted to tell you that I had a great time with you, but I’m in a place in my life right now where I don’t want to get involved. I just got over a bad breakup, and I don’t have the energy to pursue another relationship. I’m going to spend some time alone for a while. Really you’re a great guy. But this isn’t happening for me right now. I’m sorry.”

The girls nod sympathetically. The two men and myself exchange knowing glances. We understand what’s about to come.

Heartbreaker girl taps her phone screen and holds it up for the crowd to see.

“Ok, I’m going to read his reply. He sent this like a day later.”

I interrupt her. “Wait, let me read it. I can pretend to be him.”

She cackles. “Haha! OK, here you go.”

I take the phone. A longish email reply is staring back at me, with a thumbnail of a man’s face appended to it. He’s fairly good-looking, and muscular, judging by his neck and traps.

I begin reading his reply in a trembly voice, imitating as best I can a lovelorn beta. Paraphrased:

“Ok, I’m sorry to hear that. I was hoping we could date a few more times and see where it goes. I think you are really great, and a very special girl, and I felt we had something between us. I definitely felt we bonded on our dates together. Remember that time playing pool? That was pretty funny. But oh well, if you need some time to yourself, I understand. If you ever change your mind, you know where to email me. I’m willing to give it another try if you are. Ciao.”

I finish and melodramatically lay the phone down, heavily sighing. The girls erupt in a gail of laughter and cloying “Awws”. The two men noticeably cringe. One looks displeased that I have joined, shiv in hand dripping the blood of my victim, in the beta hunt.

Oh, what’s that? You expected me to stick up for the downtrodden beta masses? You wanted a hero to show these girls the malevolence of their ways? No, that would not be any fun. I happily participated in the cruel mockery at the expense of this poor niceguy. Laughs were shared and I would do it again. The id monster obeys no ideology.

Heartbreaker girl chimes in. “See, I told you he’s so sweet. I feel bad about this.” She tries hard to contain a chesire cat’s grin from creasing her face, but fails.

I address the group with a feigned seriousness, “Maybe we shouldn’t have done that to the poor guy.”

Heartbreaker girl responds, still smiling, “I know, I feel bad.” The men look uncomfortable, staring at the wall. One guy grips his girlfriend’s thigh tightly. A moment of moral clarity infuses the room, but it doesn’t last.

A girl in the corner pipes up, “But that was really funny! Oh well. It was kinda cute.” Laughter all around.

I continue, “How long were you seeing this guy? He seems smitten.”

Heartbreaker girls says proudly, “We went on three dates.”

I seize an opportunity to subversively impart game wisdom. “You know, my buddies and I have this golden rule we live by. Never send emails to a girl that are longer than the ones she writes to you.” I turn to Heartbreaker girl, “This guy wrote twice as much as you wrote to him.”

A girl practically shrieks, “Oh my god, you’re so right!”

Heartbreaker girl laughs in agreement, “That’s so true.”

There are ways to inculcate women with the truth of game. You just have to frame it as a remedy for a betaboy’s embarrassing failure.

The next time you feel the urge to send a lovingly crafted email or text or IM to a woman who you haven’t yet banged, remember this true story from the vaults of the Chateau. Visualize the hosts reading your email out loud to the guffaws of a roomful of cute girls who soften their laughter with pitying, and faintly contemptuous, hedges about what a “niceguy” and “sweet guy” you are, and…

STOP, CROP and CULL.

Stay your hand. Turn off the spigot of beta diarrhea. Calm your fiery but unfocused passion. Shut your mouth. Delete that fucking ode. Because it WILL, one way or another, one day sooner or later, be used against you in a kangaroo court of amoral soul flaying. If you want to win at this game, there is only one road to victory —

penis in vagina.

No amount of painstakingly composed and heartfelt emails, yearning voicemails, or chivalric IMs emanating with the faint whiff of beggary will ever match in manly will to power the physical act of fucking. That is your trump card, and nothing a woman holds can beat it.

The modern woman, and her women-are-blameless spokesfembots, ask “Where are all the good men?”

Ladies, you get the men you deserve.

To Preen, Or Not To Preen…

A consortium of “internet professionals who make their living as online influencers” (great gig if you can get it) has voted Citizen Renegade a partir de Chateau a Top 100 blog of 2010.

This calls for a celebration.

8=====>

Valentine’s Day Tips

A reader sent in this most excellent compendium of game tips.

1. Ditch the cologne, a tiny bit of ladies’ perfume on the neck is the way to go. (Make sure you hug her close!) You could also put lipstick on your collar, but less is more- it has to be barely perceptible to work.

2. If you’ll be with her in a not-too-noisy venue and it’s late at night (after 11pm or so) have your phone’s alarm feature  set up to ring several times at random. The hamster will wonder who the fuck is trying to get a hold you at this hour. Change the subject when she asks who’s calling.
Extra points for mixing up the ringtones.

(I did this once not expecting to get it in the same night and my phone kept vibrating on the nightstand while she was riding me cowgirl- I swear I could feel her getting wetter and wetter with every “call” that came in.

3. When your body language, eye contact, etc. is solid, you can get away with ANYTHING. I’ve closed a girl having inviting her to a Warcraft LAN party and telling her how hot she’d look in a chainmail bikini. This is contrast game (Omega game?) and only works if she knows you’re joking and everythig else is congruently Alpha. I believe it’s the peacocking principle at work, though I need to experiment with it some more…

4. Remind her how Beta the other guys in the room are. I love telling a girl in a venue how thirsty I am and asking if she’ll fish me a gin and tonic off the two nerds at the end of the bar. There are all sorts of subtle ways to DLV your competition, get creative!

5. Never miss an opportunity to grab her hair and give it a good tug- she’ll let you do it waaay sooner in the interaction than societal norms would suggest, (about 15 seconds in if you’re dirty dancing.)

6. Act aroused by her shit tests. The whole “You’re so hot when you’re being bitchy” mentality makes her resistance self-defeating. Even better if you’re funny about it.

7. When shit-tested via text message, reply with an ascii penis. [Ed: It looks like this: 8==>. Or this, if you’re a host of the Chateau: 8=======================>] Hasn’t failed me yet and its cheaper than sending picture messages of the real thing.

8. Anything that attracts attention to your crotch is a good thing, eye-catching and unusual belt buckles are good. When you catch her glancing down you can remind her that it’s not going to suck itself.

9. And finally – My all time super duper favorite-ist opener in the whoooole wide world:

“Did you just grab my ass?”

And no, she doesn’t have to be standing behind you for it to work, you can walk clear across the room and spit this. (My inspiration for that one came from the club owner in Night at the Roxbury)

Caveat Emptor: these are all situational and can backfire if applied incorrectly. Know your prey and calibrate! #1 and #2 are best reserved for the divas who are on the fence about you

A final thought- once you have a basic competency in game, the only way to keep growing is to start tailoring your style to match your personality and strengths and have fun with it. A cheeky/playful Austin Powers vibe does wonders for me, not exactly your boilerplate stoic Alpha was he?

Feel free to use all or part of this for your blog, as a former pedastalizer myself, I have tremendous empathy for my beta bros sloggin it out in the trenches.

Your truly,

-Marshy

The force is strong in this one. #1 and #7 are especially good.

Women Love Men Who Play Hard To Get

In a complete inversion of conventional wisdom, it’s men who should be playing hard to get if they want to attract the opposite sex.

Women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.

A study published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, finds that a woman is more attracted to a man when she is uncertain about how much he likes her.

“Numerous popular books advise people not to display their affections too openly to a potential romantic partner and to instead appear choosy and selective,” the authors write. Women in this study made their decisions based on very little information on the men — but in a situation not unlike meeting someone on aninternet dating site, which is common these days. “When people first meet, it may be that popular dating advice is correct: Keeping people in the dark about how much we like them will increase how much they think about us and will pique their interest.”

The subject matter of this study has been discussed at the Chateau before, in this post. It perfectly validates much of what is written here, particularly the posts dealing with instilling dread in your lover to build a healthy relationship. The fact is that women, much more so than men, get turned on by inscrutable suitors. Women love love love men who keep them guessing. That hamster isn’t gonna spin by itself, you know. Inscrutable men are likely hitting women’s “pre-selection” and “sexy son” limbic buttons.

Suck-up credentialist therapists and marriage counselors hate these kinds of studies (and, by extension, real-world truth tellers such as yer ‘umble narrator) because it puts the lie to everything they know and believe. How would you feel if the meaning of your very existence was revealed for the shabby mountain of platitudinal shit it is?

I suspect some readers get the impression that the science guides my behavior. But that is not the case. I’ve spent my life experiencing women, observing women, learning about women and loving women. That is how I came to understand them. The science merely serves as a confirmation of what I can see with my eyes. But I like to post these studies because I know it gets under the skin of the haters. I can practically see their blood boiling and steam coming out of their ears.

It is an exquisite pleasure to reflect upon your enemies’ torment.

Like Single Mom, Like Daughter

The Mark Sanchez story is funny from at least one angle — the daughters of single, slutty moms go on to be sluts themselves.

The rich, preppy Connecticut mom of 17-year-old Eliza Kruger — who said she “hooked up” with star Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez after meeting him at a Manhattan nightclub — “likes to party” on occasion with her sexy daughter, sources said yes terday.

“Eliza has been going to clubs since she was 15, sometimes with her mom,” blond Greenwich divorcée Marie McCormick Kruger, a night life source told The Post. […]

Her dad is multimillionaire Greenwich financier Konrad “Chip” Kruger. He and Marie had four kids together, including Eliza, before divorcing in 2006 after years of marital turmoil.

According to their divorce decision, which found neither party at fault, Marie Kruger in the mid-1990s flirted with and “kissed one or two times” a “gentle man” she had met at a local watering hole. In July 2005, the decision said, Chip Kruger “learned that she had slept with her rowing coach” while the Krugers were attempting a reconciliation.

Lesson: Millions of dollars does not necessarily an alpha make. Nor does it prevent your wife from cheating with her rowing coach. And that kid went ha haaw!

You gotta love this aging cougar mom hanging out with her daughter at nightclubs known to be pickup spots for alpha males. Has there been a more obvious case of a sad sack wall victim living vicariously through her hot n sexy spawn?

On a more serious note, the Sanchez case, and others like it, prove that the statutory rape laws in this country are well-nigh fucked beyond any semblance of fairness. It’s time to end strict liability. If a 17 year old has the sense of mind to lie about her age so that she can bang an older athlete, then she can give consent to sex as well. It is not the responsibility of men to do background checks of every young-looking woman they meet. The courts must catch up to the fact that women are hypergamous, and that a result of that hypergamy is a tendency to prefer fucking older, higher status men.

Eliciting Sexual Values

The resident raging SWPL over at OkCupid has a new post up about the best questions to ask on a first date if you want to know something important about your date — that is, something important *to you*, like whether she is the type to bang on the first date. What he and his merry band of politically correct pansies did was correlate viable first date questions — i.e., questions that weren’t too personal, awkward or creepy — with an assortment of variables such as the person’s willingness to go all the way right away and couples’ relationship lengths.

For instance:

Answering “Yes” to the question of “Do you like the taste of beer?” correlates strongly with a willingness to consider sex on the first date. This goes for women as well as men, though seeing as all real men like the taste of beer and the possibility of first date sex, it’s pretty much a question geared toward finding out what depth of sluttiness women are eager to plumb.

If you want to know whether your date has long term potential, you should ask her if she has ever traveled to another country alone. If she has, and you have done as well, then consider it a match made in heaven.

There is a question in that OkCupid post that doesn’t make much sense. If you want to know whether your date shares the same politics as you, you’re supposed to ask her if she prefers simple people or complex people in her life. By 2:1, liberals prefer the latter and conservatives the former. But what does “simple” mean? Simple-minded, or honest? A complex person could just as easily mean a liar or a laconic mystery man. So it may just be that liberal girls prefer unending relationship drama and conservative girls prefer more stable, even-keeled LTRs. Since 90% of hot girls from the age of 15 to 29 are liberal, this means very few bangable women like stable relationships.

In case you haven’t noticed, the topic covered in that OkCupid post is essentially the game concept of eliciting values. A key part of building comfort with a girl you want to bang is getting to know her values and mirroring them, so a deep and profound romantic connection that she thinks is something that “just happened” is actually the result of a calculated effort on your part.

Based on experience, below are some core value eliciting questions that will work on first dates. Remember, a good question must:

a. sound natural or funny,

b. hide its intentions, and

c. trigger a subconscious betrayal of the respondent’s true values.

The value elicitation can be in the form of a routine, or asked as standalone questions. Take care to listen to her answers, because that is going to tell you if she’s up for a same night lay.

“Have you ever chewed gum in church or at a job interview?”

A “yes” means she likes to give blowjobs. Also, if she’s a smoker, she’s a pole smoker.

“Have you ever attended a protest?”

Yes: She’s cheated on exes.

No: Don’t expect first date sex.

“Did you go to the protest to actually protest, or to laugh at the people there?”

Actually protest: she will never cook you a meal and her relationships are paper-thin.

Laugh at the protestors: she falls in love deeply.

“Have you ever worn goofy socks? Like socks with penguins stitched on them?”

Yes: attention whore! Also, likely to play hard-to-get.

“What’s your favorite 4AM food?”

Trick question! If she has had food at 4AM, she is a party slut.

“What’s the one thing you have in common with your parents that you wish you didn’t?”

If she says nothing, she will try to introduce you to her dad within three months of the relationship.

“Is god a he or a she?”

He: She’s telling you want you want to hear. This is good, it shows she likes you.

She: Feminist harpy. Pump and dump.

Neither, there is no god: She’s down for anal.

“Does the thought of breaking into dance in front of a crowd of strangers make you nervous or excited?”

Nervous: She likes to cuddle.

Excited: She’s had sex in a bathroom stall. When she was younger, hotter, tighter. For free.

“When you played hide and seek as a little girl, did you prefer being the hider or the seeker?”

Hider: She likes to be dominated.

Seeker: She likes to poach other girls’ boyfriends.

“What kind of clothing makes you feel the sexiest?”

Cocktail dress: Status whore.

Mini-skirt: Slut.

Ballroom gown: Princess.

Wedding gown: Run.

And The Country With The Most Beautiful Women Is…

There are computer programs that will superimpose a bunch of male or female faces to create an average composite of all the faces. Well, someone has done it for the native women of 41 countries from around the world. The image is too large to post here, so follow this link to judge the average national beauty of the women for yourself.

This facial averaging algorithm has been around for a few years now. What jumps out is how attractive the average female face looks. Not smoking hot, but certainly bangable. The average female face falls somewhere around the 7 to 9 range on the United Federation of Planets’ recognized 1 to 10 scale. That’s pretty impressive considering how many obese women and ugly cougars now inhabit the advanced nations. There’s no doubt that to get these results the programmer intentionally left out the grossly fat and the depressingly aged from his (he’s most likely a “he”) formula.

The reason an averaged female face is attractive is because the flaws are filtered out. Asymmetry, jutting chins, big noses, leathery skin and bastard children are weeded out of the averaged face. The final product is a conventionally attractive face that is easy on the eyes, if not quite dazzling. It is pretty well established at this point that beauty is objective, and that beautiful female faces all have the same traits in common — symmetry in the horizontal and vertical, large wide-set eyes, small noses, clear and smooth skin, full lips, dainty chins and jawlines, and a general youthful neoteny where the upper half of the head is disproportionately larger than the lower half.

Examining the results for the women from the 41 countries sampled in the image, some gaspingly impolite observations can be made.

– Adjusted for race, the averaged woman is noticeably light-skinned. Swarthiness is not an attractive trait in women, it would seem.

– The averaged Irish woman is relatively mannish looking with a prominent jaw and chin, and thin lips. This accords with personal observation. Irish girls are feast or famine; they are either breathtakingly beautiful or homely.

– The averaging program is very powerful. We can see this by the good things it does to English girls, the average of whom is pretty darn cute.

– But not that powerful. The program has limitations on the magic it can conjure. Samoa has the ugliest women in the world. Sorry, scowling ladyboys.

– Most slaves brought to America during the trade were from West Africa. It is thus interesting that the averaged African-American woman is so different looking than the averaged West African woman. The West African woman, although darker, is more feminine looking. The African-American woman looks like she could play second string defensive back for the Packers. First string if she’s married to the President of the United States.

– Of the three smart but uncreative Northeast Asian countries, the averaged Korean girl is probably the cutest, but it’s a horse race. Really, all three of the Asian chicks looksame. The Japanese girl is making an anime face.

– However, the Vietnamese girl, although it is not shown, has the best ass of the epicanthically folded races. Love your ass long time!

– The averaged Hungarian girl looks like a vampire. Fitting.

– What would the daughters of a master race of white men-asian women pairings look like? See: Uzbek.

– The composite Irish and Welsh woman is not as attractive as the composite English woman. Infer at your leisure.

– Aside from skin color, West and East Africans look very different.

– There are a lot of broad noses in the world. Like red hair, the noble, aquiline nose is a vanishing trait. Too bad.

– The nations of Europe are not a miasma of undifferentiated whiteness. The averaged women of each European nation have distinctive looks. And most likely distinctive composite personalities, temperaments and future time orientations. Just sayin’.

– The South African woman is kinda hot. And white. Which brings us to…

– Why is America, the most powerful country of the 20th century, missing from this comparison? If the programmer can suss out the white chicks in a country that is majority black, why couldn’t the same be done for the US? Up until 1965, when the soft genocide population replacement program pushed by the gated community elites geared up, America was nearly 90% white. I think that’s grounds for having representation from a composite American white chick. Major oversight. Or are American chicks just TOO DAMN FAT to acquire an N > 1?

– The Latvian girl looks like a throwback from a 1970s porno.

– South Indian girls may be smarter, but North Indian girls are cuter.

– Overall face shape doesn’t seem to be too important to beauty. There are cute representatives from both the long-faced and round-faced groups. See, as a comparison, the Swiss girl and the Iranian girl.

– Remember that scene in the underground city of Zion from the Matrix sequel? The banging drums, primitive dancing, and rainbow of multicult love? That’s the Puerto Rican girl. I wanted the machines to win after that scene.

– Of course, the Polish and Russian girls look the most serious. Of course. Get over yourselves, girls.

– The average Russian girl may as well be a hot tennis star. Or Putin’s mistress.

– Too bad for the Samoan girl that Australian Aboriginal girls were not included.

– The Mongolian girl is hiding a purple saguaro in her purse.

– The Finnish girl looks like she’d fuck the consciousness out of you.

– The composite Spaniard is full of herself. Did a composite tiara come included with that photo?

– Blonde and light brown hair are overrepresented in this graphical chart. Is this a selection effect, or does averaging lighten women’s hair?

– The French composite is the least “average” looking of all the women. She is quite stunning with her bold yet feminine features.

– The Peruvian girl has kind eyes. She’d cook you a meal on your second date.

– Swedish girls are overrated.

– Greek and Italian women could be sisters.

******

So… which country-AKA-ethnicity has the world’s most beautiful women?

We’ll have to narrow it down first.

The Eight Finalists

Uzbekistan, Italy, France, Finland, Russia, Greece, Spain, Israel

And the country with the world’s most beautiful women is…

drumroll please…

Italy!

The country that birthed Monica Bellucci is the place you want to live if beauty — and fucking beauty — is your raison d’étre. Even Italy’s feminists are bangable, that’s how hot Italian women are.

Runners-up

Best composite DSLs: Greece.

Best composite smile: India.

Best composite nose: England.

Best composite eyebrows: Vietnam.

Best composite face begging for a jizzbomb: Mongolia. (Just think, you might be jizzing on a descendent of Genghis Khan. Thinking about it, aren’t you? You want to yell KHAAAAAN at the moment of ejaculation, don’t you? Imperialist pig!)

Sultriest composite face: France.

Best composite face you want to gaze at with an uneasy mix of awe, horniness and unsettling confusion: Uzbekistan.

Notch flag you are least likely to get, and don’t mind not getting: Samoa.

Best composite closet slut: Switzerland.

Most compositely likely to come at you with a meat cleaver: Hungary.

Best composite repressed sexuality: Iran.

Best composite jungle fever: Puerto Rico.

Best composite girl-next-door: South Africa AKA Holland.

Best composite public sex aficionado: Ireland.

Best composite underage sex simulator: Burma.

Best composite women to ransack if you are a white guy: Korea.

Best composite fling: Finland.

Best composite girlfriend: Israel.

Best composite wife: *does not compute*

Best composite just-got-fucked look: Tie between Wales and Latvia. You go, girls!

Best composite cock-or-GTFO face: Germany.

Best composite shit test face: Mexico.

******

Someone get in contact with the IT dude who put this chart together. We need composites from all 192 countries, plus intra-country ethnic minorities like aboriginals, eskimos, gypsies and native americans.