Trucker Hats The Emblem Of 21st Century

“Cheap Chalupas” Cowen has a post ruminating on what things around today would be considered most distinctively 21st century in ten years. (Or, more accurately, what things would be considered most distinctively first decade of the 21st century.)

A gallant effort, but missed the mark. Here are the two things that are the defining characteristics of the zeitgeist of the 21st century Aughts.

1. Irony

As sarcasm is cheap humor, irony is cheap wit. Irony enabled preening, status whoring but largely mediocre SWPLs to pump their way into their trucker hats.

******

2.

Now these two emblematic things of the 21st century Aughts do share something in common. It’s a bit mischievous, no doubt, but what they share tells us much about the culture of this soon to expire decade. Can you figure out what it is?

These Boots Were Made For Divorcing

“We looked!
Then we saw it
step in on the mat!
We looked!
And we saw it!
The Marriage Trap!”

“I know it is costly
And the sex is not sexy.
But we can have
A dog and one kid
that is trendy!”

“Buy the ring!
Buy the ring!
Buy the ring NOW!
It is work to get married
But you have
to know how.”

“’Have no fear, single man,’
Said the Marriage Trap.
‘Marital Things are
good Things.’
I can promise you that.”

“Then our lawyer came in
And he said to us two,
‘Did you have any fun?
Tell me. What did
you do?”

And Wifey and I
did not say
the same things.
You see she was bored
and wanted away.”

“My fortune in limbo,
my stocks in a lock,
I sat silent and fearful
in a state of shock!
Well…what would YOU do
If your lawyer asked you?”

Chalk this up to the latest sign that marriage — versions 1.0, 2.0, and coming to a theater near you, 3.0 — is a raw deal for men and an institution on the precipice of falling cliffside into a shattered heap of anachronistic uselessness. Wives are now leaving perfectly good marriages and their sacrificial beta provider husbands because they are bored. Naturally, they will be leaving with their husbands’ hard-earned cash to fund their adventures in swarthy saguaro hunting. Welcome to the Eat, Pray, Self-Love era of the Fall of America. Next stop: hyperinflation.

A lot of midlife women in my acquaintance are leaving what appear to be perfectly good and loving husbands. Or thinking about it. Or cheating on them. Or wanting to. Or staying married and faithful but buying their own houses, which they either live in or keep as a bolt hole. […]

In a 2004 AARP survey of divorced people 40 and older, 66 percent of wives said they had requested the divorce, and 26 percent had surprised their husbands, often after planning for years. Women were especially likely to have no regrets, and 43 percent did not want to remarry. In another national study that year, ex-wives were three times more likely to say that they wanted the divorce, rather than their husbands wanting it. Fewer than 40 percent of marriages of more than 15 years were rated as successful by respondents.

A multitude of factors likely contributes to the urge to spousally purge of the modern American wife. The Chateau has discussed the Four Sirens of the Sexual Apocalypse before as triggers or exacerbating conditions for the rising divorce, single momhood, and infidelity rates that will herald the denouement of the Grand American Epoch, and now we can throw in a couple more factors —

The death of shame and the glorification of status.

We now exalt that which we used to shame into invisibility. Pathetic single moms are paraded as exemplars of tough-as-nails fortitude and moral virtue. Infidelity is de rigueur, an exciting life transition that self-actualized women find empowering. And of course, taking your husband for all he’s worth in divorce, regardless of marital fault, is practically its own sacrament — the Sacrament of Separation Theft.

And then there is the compelling allure of status jockeying. When women are surrounded by lots of other women cheating on, divorcing, or leaving their dutiful husbands, they feel an odd predilection to ape the group dynamic. Women are herd animals, and will do what they see is trendy in the group. A bunch of well-heeled upper middle class ladies on the block had affairs, including Susie with the best landscaping in the neighborhood? Clearly the heretofore faithful wife thinks she is missing out on something. The stampede of the herd fills her with anxiety, morphing into unhappiness. She plots and connives; her heart bursts with excitement at the taboo! The outsized role of status seeking in shaping women’s choices may help explain why Western populations — excluding the peasant immigrant hordes rapidly displacing us — are demographically imploding: when half the properly educated and economically independent women you know have zero kids, you impart higher status on that childlessness, and then you will seek to mimic the behavior of your admired peers.

One Texas friend’s 40-something daughter is divorcing her husband. His son’s wife had an affair and they’re also divorcing. In another family, an uncle and nephew are both being divorced by their wives. These women had once been renowned for their utter, perhaps excessive devotion to family. The men are both handsome, kind, good fathers. Great catches. Both women have new boyfriends, while the men are still too broken-hearted to date again.

Great catch != gina tingle. It’s been said here many times, often to the guffaws of the haters and disbelievers:

You want to save marriage? Learn game. What are the odds that these “great catches” the wives are unceremoniously divorcing are betas to the bone? The answer is in the last sentence.

“while the men are still too broken-hearted to date again.”

Readers, these wives did not marry “great catches”. They married pushover herblings with steady jobs. Any man with a lick of game and an alpha attitude would not be broken-hearted for long after a divorce, even a surprise divorce that caught him off-guard. He would be lining up dates while the ink on the papers was still drying. Better yet, he would’ve skipped out on marriage entirely and enjoyed the fruits of the female sex free of charge.

Now being a provider herbling might’ve been adequate in 1950, but that was then, this is now. The deck is stacked against men, and marriage is the legal equivalent of cliff diving into a rocky shoreline. Game is one of the few resources men have left to protect themselves against women and a system that sees them as wholly expendable, ATM flesh pods from which to squeeze the last ounce of blood and coin tribute to feed the insatiable marriage machine that is the root of the modern consumption economy.

One divorced mother of two sons put her complaint succinctly: “I realized my husband was of no added value.”

To get the full chill of that statement, try imagining a husband who had divorced his wife saying it, or this next one.

It can’t be imagined, because any husband who initiated divorce on such grounds, overtly or tacitly, would be ass raped by a team of special ops lawyers. Not that husbands don’t feel the same way about their fat, aging wives; they just can’t act on the impulse with the same impunity that wives can. In fact, wives can divorce on these grounds and *still* walk away with a considerable share of his assets. There are many checks and balances built into society to keep the id monster chained in the cellar of the mind, but the prison warden of the female mind has left his post and the id monster has escaped to terrorize and feast freely.

None of this would be the crisis for individual men that it is if the playing field were level. (The impact on society is another matter.) If, in the case of divorce, women could not get a SINGLE RED CENT of the ex-husbands’ money, then the 7 year or 14 year or whatever itch that is seemingly built into the coding of every human being could proceed rather uneventfully, as bored wives would leave their marriages with EXACTLY, AND NO MORE, of what they brought into the marriage. That way, shocked and disillusioned ex-husbands would still have their material resources with which to help them attract new lovers.

If the marriage racket was reformed in this way we’d see a lot fewer bored housewives leaving for sabbaticals in Italy to get boned and robbed by Francisco the smooth talker. But this will never happen absent a revolution triggered by societal extinction level events. Women would wail and gnash their teeth and vote en masse with their lickspittle lackey hubbies in tow and the slow bleeding out of Western civilization would continue apace.

“My married friends seem to envy me. They think I have so much freedom,” she said. “I don’t think their husbands like them coming around me.”

This is an excellent Public Service Announcement. Husbands, you’d be wise to monitor your wives’ social circles and act to limit her time spent with cat collecting, unmarried harridans. They will whisper poison thoughts into your wives’ brains.

University of Virginia research shows that progressive wives are less happy than traditional wives.

“More traditional women may wear rose-colored glasses, but they also benefit from a sense of male and female roles,” said sociologist W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project, who conducted the research. “They don’t expect their husband to act like a woman.”

In contrast, the idea of marriage with a soul mate “who will meet their deepest needs for human connection” may ask too much of marriage, he said.

Another PSA: Marry conservative women if you want to avoid divorce theft and you believe in those lofty marital vows. Marry liberal women if you like getting taken to the cleaners and nuzzling your herb face into her fat lap.

Rutgers University biological anthropologist Helen Fisher sees the rise of working women as a cause of women asking more from marriage, but she’s not worried.

“Women have always commuted to work to gather fruits and vegetables, and for millions of years women were just as economically, socially and sexually powerful as men. … Data suggest that many ancestral men and women had two or three spouses across their lives,” she wrote on The New York Times’ Room for Debate blog.

“The same occurs today: I have examined divorce patterns in 58 societies and everywhere that spouses have some independent means, both sexes leave bad marriages to make better ones.”

Well, there is something to worry about, if worrying’s your thing. For one, those prehistoric working women still needed the muscle of men to protect them from all sorts of environmental insults. In contrast, today’s working women have air conditioning and On Star. They are now free to choose based on whim instead of necessity. (Game is very good at catering to female whim.) Two, not all prehistoric women were equal. Those of the cold, damp forests of Europe certainly evolved different traits than those of the hot, dry African savannah. But it’s futile arguing “evolution did not stop at the neck” with modern anthropologists; they are drowning in self-deceit too deep to rescue with simple logic.

As it is, our society is at a fork in the road. We can go one of two ways if an end to the divorce industrial complex is your goal:

1. Rescind feminism.

Basically, turn back the clock on the so-called “improvements” in divorce litigation. Put divorce lawyers out of business. Custody of children would be split evenly, half the time with mom and half the time with dad, unless solid evidence of extenuating fault could be found, such as pedophilia or physical abuse. End all affirmative action and favoritism, explicit or implicit, for women. This means no more maternal leave or sexual harassment workshops. Return shame to its rightful place as a molder of human behavior.

2. Follow feminism to its logical conclusion.

Completely gut the traditional notion of marriage by legally establishing polygamy and assorted polyamorous relationships as equally valid unions. (Should be easier now that there is legal justification for gay marriage.) Make divorce as easy as buying a gallon of milk. Reform marriage so that it better reflects the evolutionary disposition of people to fall out of love after seven years (or approximately the time the kids are old enough to function without constant parental supervision.) If we are biologically designed by evolution to weary of our partners after seven to ten years, then why is marriage not arranged in such a way that acknowledges this reality? After all, we don’t force gay men against their biological disposition to marry or screw women. Tenth wave feminists and principled libertarians could easily make the case that marriage is constricting of natural human urges, and thus inhumane, so should be offered to people on a contractual basis of varying length. You could get married for two years, seven years, twenty years, or till death do you part. At the end of the contract the spouses would go their separate ways, no muss no fuss, no exchange of assets or punitive payments of any kind. It would be as clean and hassle free as leaving your barber for another one. The option to renew the contract for a set number of additional years would of course be available for those remaining idealists and lucky few soulmates. Contracts also could be stipulated with allowances for cheating based on frequency and number of extramarital lovers. Children of divorce would be remanded to a state orphanage where, no doubt, they would be raised in stricter accordance with the dictates of governmental progressivism, because it takes a village.

The Chateau favors option 2, but that’s just because we’re a mischievous bunch of rascals. And it’s more doable. Fuck, we’re halfway there already.

Girlfriend Got A Dog

Reader R. writes:

My casual girlfriend is getting a dog, a German Sheppard. That is fine because I love dogs but I am concerned with the future early morning walk responsibility that she will try to shirk off.

I know what is going to happen: we will be in bed and the dog will bark. “Can you be a sweetheart and go walk him?”

I don’t want to go walk the dog so she can sleep. Whats the best way to deal with this? Just tell her straight up: “No, he’s your dog, walk him or let him shit on the floor.” Or should I be nicer about it? Or just ignore her and pretend to be asleep?

Goddammit. Balancing a girl and alphaness is harder than it looks. Thanks for the help.

PS, I hooked up with an exgf this past weekend after following your rules. I really enjoyed it but it awoke feeling that I still really liked this girl. I ended the relationship back in February because I could sense my slide into betatude and wanted to end it on my terms before I became pussy-whipped. (this was before I found your blog) I still don’t have her number but we have mutual friends and can get it. Should I? I would like to turn her into a fuckbuddy. Should I wait until we see each other again (mutual friends and parties etc) or wait for her to initiate contact? When we hooked up, I could tell the attraction for me was greater than ever (thanks to your advice). My willpower right now is being tested because while I would like to contact her, I would hate to destroy the frame I have created.

Thanks for all the help. I am confident that because of your words of wisdom, I am well on my way to becoming a super-alpha on campus. Bring on the fall semester and the packs of sorority girls.

This is a bigger deal than you might think. How many of you had parents who disliked animals? You would beg and plead for a dog until finally one day they caved and got you one, with the admonition that “now that you have this dog, it will be your responsibility to walk it and pick up its poop every day”. Of course, after three weeks, Dad would be schlepping it out at 6 a.m. every morning walking the dog and muttering under his breath about his damned ingrate kids.

Well, women are like those children who quickly abdicate their responsibilities when there’s someone else willing, or able to be persuaded, to do them. The mode of persuasion is usually implicit sex withdrawal, puppy dog eyes (fittingly), or empty feel-good flattery.

If you find yourself in this reader’s predicament with a girlfriend, a dog you could do without, and a looming literal shit test, you should firmly remind her you are her lover, not a dog walker for her royal highness. If this doesn’t work, buy a pet boa constrictor and kindly ask her to be a sweetheart and feed it the live mice you have stored in the pantry when you are too busy doing something else. That should help get the point across.

As for the reader’s second question, beta regression is an inherent danger in following the rules for getting back on ex-girlfriend; you might fall for her all over again, repeating the same mistakes you made the first go round. You should get her number through the mutual friend, but don’t call her for a couple weeks. (This is because your quasi-gf will be expecting a phone call from you once she hears from the mutual friend that you requested it; therefore, you must defy her expectation if you want her to vagina to simmer with piqued interest.) The trick to lassoing an ex-girlfriend into a sexual Act II is is to hammer home the impression that you absolutely do not need her in your life; rather, you *want* her around because she amuses you in a special way.

Since you did the official dumping back in February, you have hand, however tenuous you may believe that hand is. Girls are acutely sensitive to dump dynamics to the exclusion of almost all other relationship-ending factors. No matter how beta you think you acted during the waning months of the relationship, if you dumped her without warning she will carry that stingma (stigma + sting) with her for months afterward, and possibly into future relationships with betas who can’t understand why she still pines for an asshole like you.

Remember, too, that girls who aren’t fat, old or saddled with bastard spawn are rarely dumped by men; scientific calculations have shown that women do about 70-80% of all the dumping. Therefore, as a man having done the dumping, you have automatically raised your value far above the mass of men who could ostensibly compete for her attention. You now occupy an outsized place in her mind as a man higher status than all the other men currently chasing after her, regardless of the objectively measurable status differentials between you and them. Conclusion: dumping is a huge DHV. You do not need to game your ex hardcore; she is already thinking about you on a daily basis since that heartbreaking moment way back in February.

However, enough time has passed that she may just now be getting over stray thoughts of reuniting with you. It takes about six months for a cute girl to “move on” from a man who dumped her. (It takes anywhere from five years to a lifetime for a fat chick to move on from same.) Attempting to reengage via a date could backfire and destroy your frame as you mentioned. She might very well take it as an opportunity to retrieve some of the hand she lost from the initial dumping. I could easily envision her telling you a date is a bad idea, and smiling wickedly to herself once you got off the phone. Instead, I would try to arrange meetings with her at parties of friends and let nature take its course. Just keep to the Aloof and Indifferent frame and her hamster will do all the spinning for you.

Then And Now, Part Two

(Here is part one of ‘Then and Now’.)

***********************************************************************************

***********************************************************************************

***********************************************************************************

***********************************************************************************

***********************************************************************************

************************************************************************************

***********************************************************************************

***********************************************************************************

Compare and contrast our noble ancestors with modern Americans.

Then: Poor, yet dignified, with strong family and community bonds.

Now: Overfed, government assisted trash who look like shambling monsters.

It won’t be long for this country.

The Difficulty Of Gaming Women By Age Bracket

The following observations apply to established adult men, post college years. Younger men still in college will find their success rate with women of various ages, particularly older women (aka cougars), highly variable. The rules for them will be different than the rules for older men.

18 to 22 year olds

Hard to believe, but it is often easier to bed a very young woman than an older woman, if you are an older man. This is because 20-40% of women are specifically attracted to older men. It is hard-wired in them, and this hard-wiring can be reinforced by poor family upbringing resulting from divorce of parents or absentee fathers. Single moms are the greatest source of future generations of slutty daughters the world has ever known.

Your goal is to identify which 18-21 year olds are amenable to being seduced by you. Since a majority will balk at the idea, you should learn to quickly identify and NEXT! them. Thankfully, most girls aren’t brazen cockteases, and will make their lack of interest known early on. Beware, though, that a small minority of barely legal rapacious golddiggers will try to keep you on tenterhooks, extracting your resources for little in return. A simple preemptive qualification should suffice to smoke them out.

You can bang an 18-21 year old surprisingly quickly because they have little ASD (anti-slut defense). This is because they do not have the long history of sluttiness common to older women which needs to be rationalized away by posturing as a paragon of chaste virtue. A young woman simply won’t perceive sex with you as an admission of sluttiness. She is innocent to herself as well as to you. Plus, actual slutty behavior has been defined down so that five partners today is equivalent to one partner thirty years ago.

Caveat to the above: although you can get the bang with an 18-21 year old very quickly, you should not prime the path to banging with obvious signs of physical escalation. There is a high risk with very young women that escalating kino will be perceived as “pervy” or “creepy”. This means no PDA, no “innocent” touching of her erogenous zones, and no raunchy sex talk. You want to keep it on the superficial friend tip until she is in your place. Then you should escalate rapidly. You’d be amazed how fast the young woman sheds her clothes when the bang is in sight. Very little foreplay is required. The sex will be, as you can imagine, the hottest you will ever have.

DO NOT EVER “DATE” an 18-21 year old. Women under 23 don’t date, they “hang out”. Anything that remotely smacks of a date — drinks at a lounge, dinner for two, day trips to a museum — will scare her off. The under-23 young woman cannot handle the “seriousness” of a dating context. This is the reality of modern America. “Dating” makes younger women think “no fun, marriage, kids, pressure, relationships, stuff that older people do”. You need to be so chill that you’re barely motivated to do anything proactive with her. Instead, “hang out” with her in a neutral context. Walks along window-browsing streets are good for this. So is meeting at a local park and talking while goofing off on the swings. You can take her to a coffee shop as long as you don’t buy anything.

DON’T BE LAME. If a 19 year old (true story) offers you an E tab in a dark corner of a loud club at 1 am, don’t refuse her like some boring fuddy duddy. Either pop that baby and enjoy the ride, or pretend to take it and throw it away when she’s not looking if you’re suspicious of the pill’s origins and purity. Push for a blowjob in the alley behind the club; plans to make future dates are a fool’s errand.

DON’T BE HER DAD. Contrary to popular misconception, most young women don’t want to date a father figure. They DO want to date a strong dominant man, and older men bring that demeanor to the table. This is why it is better to dress youthfully (if you are in shape) rather than in a sharp suit and tie if it’s much younger women you want to meet. A notable minority of younger women love the business suit look, but most of them, especially the ones on the fence about dating older men, would feel more comfortable if you projected an aura of youthfulness through your dress and attitude.

23 to 27 year olds

Similar to the 18-22 year olds in terms of difficulty of picking up, with some important differences. The 23-27 year old feels she is at her attractiveness peak, despite her peak having passed a few years earlier. This is because she is surrounded by many more high status men than she was while in college (or working at the Piggly Wiggly) who are expressing sexual interest in her. This social dynamic will work to inflate her ego beyond the bounds of her actual beauty ranking. Some consequences result from this.

NEG HARDER. The 23-27 year old will require harder negging than any other age group of women, even the hotter 18 year olds. She needs her ego punctured before her pussy will open for you. Remember that cherished maxim:

Maxim #23: The defensive crouch is where pussy tingles are born.

DEFY EXPECTATIONS. She expects you to pay her way and play the role of earnest suitor. You can’t “hang out” with the 23-27 year old like you should with the 18-22 year old without staining yourself with the immaturity label, but you shouldn’t fall into her trap of arid, sexless dating either. Arrange dates that are simple and logistically favorable. Never spend more than two drinks’ worth of money on her on a single date.

DATE CONCURRENTLY. The 23-27 is, arguably, the most in-demand woman on the market. Various social factors account for this, which will be the subject of another post. Thus, she will have the greatest self-regard. Despite your best game, you may find yourself getting flaked on by a girl in this age range. A good defense is a solid offense, so minimize the creep of neediness and desperation by dating many women at once. Do not feel guilt about fucking multiple women concurrently.

THIS IS YOUR SWEET SPOT FOR GAME. No other woman will react as positively to hardcore game as the 23-27 year old. She and her sisters will be throwing meatballs at the middle of your lineup. Aim for the fences.

28 to 30 year olds

Finally, the female ego suffers chinks in its armor. She will try hard to cover these cracks, but they’ll creep out here and there. 30 is a huge and depressing milestone for women, but 29 is an even more depressing birthday. It is the “last hurrah”, so to speak, and the number taunts her daily with reminders of her impending obsolescence. A single girl who was dumped by her boyfriend and who has just turned 29 may be the easiest girl in the world to lay. You will still need to game her, but the path to sex will be exhilaratingly fast and furious.

28-30 year olds are a mixed bunch. Some are riding a wave of career and social success that has nowhere to go but down, and their bloated egos reflect that. Others, less conventionally successful, are emotionally frazzled by the disappearing act of their heady youth and by the intractability of their singledom. You will find some of the cuntiest, and sweetest, girls in this age range.

Same rules as the ones for 23-27 year olds apply to 28-30 year olds, with the exception that negging should be tailored to the life success as well as the looks of the girl you are gaming. A 30 year old businesswoman is often harder to game than a 20 year old hipster. She will need subtle reminders that her beauty isn’t what it once was.

31 to 34 year olds

In some ways, women in the 31-34 age range are the toughest broads to game. (By “toughest”, it is meant “most time consuming”.) It’s counterintuitive, yes, but there are factors at work besides her declining beauty which mitigate against the easy, quick lay. For one, it is obviously harder to meet single 31-34 year old women than it is to meet single younger women. Marriage is still a pussy-limiting force to contend with for the inveterate womanizer, but Chateau apprentices are hard at work battling the scourge of mating market disturbances caused by the grinding and churning of the marriage machine.

But the bigger reason 31-34 year olds are harder to game than any other age group of women has to do with the wicked nexus of entitlement and self-preservation that occurs at this age in women. When you combine a disproportionate sense of entitlement fueled by years of feminism, steady paychecks and promotions, and cheerleading gay boyfriends with suspicions of every man’s motives and a terrible anxiety of being used for a sexual fling sans marriage proposal, you get a venom-spitting malevolent demoness on guard against anything she might perceive as less than total subjugation to her craving for incessant flattery and princess pedestaling.

Note that Chateau guests aren’t necessarily complaining. A harder-to-game 33 year old is kind of like getting bumped down from a Honda Civic rental but driving off the lot with the consolation prize of a Ferrari.

Listen to any man who is good with women and they will tell you the same thing:

“I have an easier time bedding and dating 23 year olds than I do 33 year olds.”

This defies all logic until you see it through the eyes of the hamster sweating its fluffy ass off in a woman’s brain. (Poor little creature must be pooped out by the mid-30s.) Sure, a 33 year old is not as hot as the 23 year old version of herself, but her ASD is through the roof, as is her self-conception as a hot marriage-worthy commodity. Many older women will tell themselves that their experience, maturity, accomplishments and financial stability mean they should be way more valuable to men seeking wives than some young babe on the take. Of course, they have to tell themselves this because reality isn’t making it easy to believe.

These are the kind of women who have sexual flings with college guys, because they can psychologically box those men in as “purely for fun” adventures. But the men the 31-34 year old women really want are the older, established men who will give them a marriage proposal and a family. This is why it is counterintuitively harder to game the older woman who still retains a vestige of her youthful attractiveness: she wants and expects so much more than the younger woman.

Game required: Strong body language, masculine dominance, sharp suits and shoes, easy on the negs and palm reading, emphasis on the comfort stage, lots of travel stories, disqualify yourself from sex on the first date, vulnerability game, avoidance of the beta provider zone.

In short, if you can present yourself to her as different than the indistinguishable mass of sad schlumpy beta herbs who are her typical choice in available men, then you are guaranteed the lay. Just don’t expect to sleep with her on the first night. She will work hard to make your seduction as difficult and drawn out as possible.

Note: DO NOT SPEAK OF THE YOUNGER WOMEN YOU DATE to an older woman. You will be tempted to do this to demonstrate your higher value, but instead she will withdraw so fast into her ego-preserving turtle shell that no game will redeem the pickup. If the subject comes up, just tell her you’ve “dated many interesting women” and leave it at that.

35 year olds

This age gets a special mention. Why? Because 35 is the year of formal female expiration. (Informal expiration can occur many years later, depending on the woman’s genetic good luck.) At 35, most women are over the hill. An unmarried woman at 35 is officially in crisis mode. Full meltdown will happen within the year if she isn’t hitched in that time. You do not want to be in the vicinity of a woman in full meltdown mode. Full meltdown is accompanied by the acquisition of a second cat, alcoholism, cackling brunches of mimosas with equally pathetic Samantha wannabes, sloppy drunken one night stands with college age men which they will then rationalize as evidence of their enduring beauty, and a laundry list of annoying personality tics and neuroses that would comfortably provide for the retirement plans of ten psychotherapists.

Game required: “Hi”.

36 to 38 year olds

She is at peace with her spinsterhood and her failure in the dating market. She will acquiesce easily and gratefully to sex with very little game, as long as you don’t look like a grandpa. Her expectations are so low, it will be a challenge to disappoint her.

If you are prone to guilt, you might feel it when you inevitably dump a woman in this age range. Don’t. Remind yourself that her past is littered with her insouciant dumping of many beta men before you. You are merely an alpha agent of righteous karma.

A Chateau proprietor once dated a European 37 year old for a couple of months. She looked years younger than her age, so the sex was fun and the time together was relaxed, but everything was glazed with a tint of sadness. A vow was made never to go much above 30 again.  So far, the vow remains unbroken.

39+ year olds

No Chateau proprietor has experience dating or fucking women 39 years old or older, so we cannot offer much advice for gaming women in this age range. Yes, yes, we can all hear you crying now.

Alpha Male Vs Beta Male

There have been photos of alpha males and beta males here at the Chateau before, but never has there been a photo of the two species of man so starkly contrasted in the same photo. And an aesthetically pleasing photo, at that.

How do we know that alpha male and beta male aren’t socially constructed concepts? Because every single one of my readers, except for the disingenuous liars, intuitively knew exactly which man was which without having it spelled out. You looked at this photo and you knew which man was in control of his relationship and his girlfriend’s fidelity, and which man was on the precipice of a breakup wondering why the sex has stopped.

The photographer won $80,000 for this first place photo, and for good reason. It says so much.

But the important things it says are probably not what the judges or the arts community thinks it says. For that, we must delve deeper, to the hulking monstrous id clawing at the cellar door. Like the dream levels in Inception, the ultimate truth is locked in a vault at the center of the subconscious.

Examine the men’s body language. The beta leans into his girl; the alpha stands athwart PDA, yelling Stop. The beta rests his plush noggin on his girlfriend’s shoulder; the alpha holds his head high. The beta’s torso is diminutively curled inward; the alpha’s chest is thrust outward. The beta’s shoulders slump; the alpha’s shoulders square up. The beta’s spine is bent; the alpha’s spine is straight. The beta’s legs are closed; the alpha’s legs are splayed. The beta’s hands are groping his girlfriend for reassurance; the alpha’s hands are clasped away from his girlfriend. The beta is Mr. Sleepyhead; the alpha is calmly alert.

Now examine the body language of the girls. The alpha’s girlfriend leans into him. Her eyes are either closed or heavily lidded with contentment. Her left breast presses into his back and her left arm wraps around him. Her chin rests lovingly on his shoulder. She is ensconced in the cocoon of his masculinity, a mere branch dangling languidly from his oaken composure. She wants to merge with him.

In contrast, the beta’s girlfriend leans away from him, her head turned toward more interesting subjects, like the view out the windows. Her breasts point away from him, in directions unknown but undoubtedly exciting. Her entire body is shifted away from his cuddly meanderings. She grips the coffee cup like a lifeline. Her face betrays a hint of annoyance, or perhaps wistfulness. Wistful for what? A longing for renewed passion? She is playing the role of the oak tree, and she resents it. She wants to chop off his branch and merge with the outside world.

The two couples are mirror images of each other.

Alpha body language — aka high status nonverbal signaling — is absolutely critical to any successful seduction, from pickup to relationship management. Women mentally register the gears and pulleys of our body mechanics before they hear our words, and a misstep there means our words will fall on deaf ears. The good news is that alpha body language can be learned and applied to increase your success rate with women.

While the alpha male in the above photo is more conventionally masculine looking than the beta male, if the beta was sitting like the alpha, mimicking his demeanor, he would suddenly look more masculine to the viewer. And his girlfriend would look less like she was thinking about fucking the guy she met in the coffee shop that morning.

(photo link courtesy of Rufus)

Insider Look At Pickup Artist Workshops

Two blog posts offer a valuable insider’s look at a couple of pickup artist workshops (aka “bootcamps”). There aren’t enough impartial customer-based reviews of seduction workshops which aim to teach men the science and art of game, so any information that seems authentic — i.e. not written by a friend of the PUA guru as a marketing gimmick — will get highlighted here for the readers’ benefit. And the Chateau offer to readers who wish to write guest posts about their experiences with bootcamps, good or bad, still stands.

***

The first review comes from KrauserPUA. He came across this popular Chateau blog post featuring a video of PUA Yad doing a street kiss close in ten minutes that you have to see to believe. It is one of the best videos out there testifying to the power of game to create sexual attraction in women from absolutely nothing except pure energy. KrauserPUA was suitably impressed, and decided to contact Yad to work on his daygame skills.

Part Three of Four: I take a one-on-one tutorial

I’ve been frustrated with the recent plateau in my game. Any time I go out daygaming I’ll come home with a fistful of numbers / facebooks / instant dates but I’m just not converting. In addition my state is still too variable and some days I struggle to hook sets. Hours of DVDs have been studied, blogs read, and introspection performed. I’m well over 500 sets into my daygame career. Time for some outside help.

There’s not many good daygamers out there. I’m fully prepared to drop a few hundred pounds on high quality instruction – this is a part of my life that consumes hours and hours of every single week – but I need to find a guy who is not just better than me but who also has a style that fits. Having been in the London scene since last summer I whittle the short list down to five names. One name stands above all others so I email this guy. A week goes by then he accepts the proposition and quotes a price that is high but justified if he lives up to his rep.

Readers know I constantly admonish aspiring PUAs to mistrust snake oil sellers and to insist on in-field evidence. I sought out this guy because (i) I’ve seen legit in field vids of him (ii) a number of people I know and respect spoke highly of him and (iii) his haters fail to find any credible argument against him. What didn’t interest me in the slightest was whether he worked for a famous pick up company.

But a good video does not necessarily a good instructor make. Maybe the guru can perform well when it’s just himself opening sets, but fails when he attempts to impart his knowledge to acolytes. I have heard from friends who took bootcamps that oftentimes the instructor’s method of teaching is to simply push students into sets like a marine sargeant barking orders.

We meet and go to his house to watch my videos. For over an hour he is playing them, pausing and commenting on what I do well, do badly, fail to do, and related theory behind the observations. He’s a technically astute and observant guy. About 90% of what he says I’m nodding my head in immediate agreement and there’s a few things in particular where I’m thinking “woah, that’s spot on. I totally didn’t realise that”. Before we’ve even left his house I feel I’ve gotten my money’s worth. The main insights:

– I’m failing to build rapport quickly
– I’m not talking enough about her
– I’m not personalising the conversation.

So far so good. Students need to take some responsibility for a successful workshop experience as well. Having videos of yourself approaching girls would, I imagine, greatly aid instructors trying to help you figure out where your flaws lie and how to fix them.

We head out to Oxford Street and he demos the first set, a leggy Austrian girl in short shorts. He hooks easily and its ten minutes much along the lines of what’s in the above linked video.

Sounds like this guy Yad is as advertised in his street pickup video. There are a lot of hucksters in the seduction community, (as in any burgeoning business model with an underserved base of potential customers), so when the genuine article comes along, the Chateau will extend its praise.

My thoughts?

He’s definitely the real deal. Although in raw performance I out-gamed him (closed hotter girls, got the instant date) I think that’s just because he wasn’t in his top gear and was spending more energy watching me than gaming for himself – which is exactly what he should be doing as a paid instructor. There’s no doubt in my mind that the famous “10 minute kiss close” video linked above is legit.
There is absolutely nothing about him or his game that I can’t do…. eventually. He’s not relying on his looks, money or position. Every part of his success is behaviour, words and vibe and he showed me how he got those skills. I simply have to keep working until I get them too.
His game is essentially the same as mine, just better. I trend more towards the alpha / masculine side but beneath his gentle yeti exterior he subcommunicates strong masculine polarity and the girls pick up on it.
His apprenticeship relied upon the same nerdish laser focus as my own: diarising the time, approaching girl after girl, day after day, committing fully to the skill set.

It’s great to see someone who is good enough to make it worth modelling their behaviours, and yet close enough that it feels attainable. This guy is a proof of concept – you can bang the hottest of girls in the prime of their lives using nothing but learned game and with no physical or situational advantages. This is the very embodiment of game.

Glad to see this guy found a good instructor and success for the money he paid. The Chateau, as usual, is ahead of the curve in identifying and bringing to the readers valuable information and resources that will improve their game and love life. There is more to KrauserPUA’s review, so go there to read the rest. He’s a proponent of the instadate; you should be, too. Instadates are flake-proof.

***

The second insider-y review comes from regular reader Kidstrangelove, who writes about his experience with a PUA lair event in New York City (not to be confused with pickup workshops which are more intensive, and also more expensive).

First off, the meeting space was in a dance and acting rehearsal center, and the first thing I saw when I walked in were dancers of all ages. Was I in the wrong place? No, there it was, the familiar look of peacocking, in full presence. I have never really seen intense peacocking till that day, thinking that the infamous Mystery and Neil Strauss pic was just a tall tale. […]

Luckily for me, the guys that spoke at the very first lair meeting I attended were Rob Judge and Zack Bauer, two guys whose philosophy on girls influences till this day. So I figured, what the heck, I’ll come to a few of these. Now, one year later I can give you a good description of what goes on there, so here we go – the good, bad and ugly of the NYC lairs.

Kidstrangelove goes on to list the good, bad and ugly of this particular lair meeting. Examples:

The speakers, knowing that they have very little time to talk, usually give you their “best material”. You really save a lot of time, money and effort, and without the need to filter through marketing bullshit. I heard that Richard La Ruina, aka Gambler, had a notorious reputation of being more of a marketer than a coach, but when I heard him speak, he really got to the core of what his philosophies were about, and I actually learned something. […]

Mystery gave a brief presentation in Virginia a few years ago (before his VH1-induced fame hit the inflection point on his power curve) which representatives of the Chateau attended, and the same impression was had — the core philosophy was ably covered in the short time available. Mystery is more charismatic than the average dude in real life, and highly intelligent, but if you observe carefully you can make out the latent nerd in him bubbling just under the surface, like Lewis Skolnick about to let loose with an asthmatic cackle. In the future, cultural anthropologists, if they are fair and balanced, will regard Mystery as a more important philosopher and paradigm shifter than the leading economists and respectable mainstream pundits of his day.

A huge chunk of the people that come there are socially inept in one way on another, and therefore make SHITTY wingmen. From lifelong nerds, to people new to the USA with the unsexiest of accents, to people who think verbal game is the end all, be all of self improvement (and therefore do not concentrate on their appearance). You can tell – a lot of these guys need help, on the bright side, however, they usually are persistent with their changes. But I don’t want a protege – I want an even matched wing, or better yet – someone BETTER than me.

There are some natural alpha males who attend pickup workshops and seminars, but the majority of attendees are nerdy or otherwise socially maladroit men who happen to have good-paying jobs and lots of discretionary cash. The money and societally acceptable lifestyle is obviously not getting them laid, so they turn to PUA teachers to lead them out of the wilderness. Hopefully, these gurus take their responsibility seriously, because they are doing nothing less than saving lives from years of soul-crushing loneliness. You want to make a man happy? Get him laid.

This is also why the Chateau has repeatedly counseled — against the strawmen of the haters — that the goal of PUAdom is not to get nerds laid with “9s and 10s”, but to get them success with women a point or two above what they are normally used to dating. Such an improvement, if executed on a society-wide scale, would cause a massive seismic disturbance in the mating market that would be felt from the cities to the country, by cougars and by kittens. One million average men suddenly dating up from 4s and 5s to 6s and 7s would have a huge impact on the dynamics of the dating market, starting with a crash in the entitlement stock of millions of plain jane American women. The younger, inexperienced and idealistic men ask: can a man be happy with anything less than a 10? Of course. In real life, when a man learns the skills that enable him to date 7s instead of the 5s he has spent his whole life dating, his happiness shoots through the roof. Most men would be perfectly content dating women just a point or two better than their usual fare.

People Lie and “Embellish the truth”. There was always a question and answer session before each meeting. You can tell a lot of these guys are exaggerating, you can tell a lot of these guys are straight bullshitting. My bullshit detector is very strong, but to an absolute beginner – they might believe the hype. It’s like keyboard jockeying – live and in front of you!

Yes, anytime there is status and money (big sums of money) on the line, there will follow lies and marketing. Your job as an educated consumer is to sift through the detritus to find the few gems worthy of your expense.

Some Instructors are either horrible or limited. I think I’ll let my friend’s post on CH’s blog answer that. I was there. The presenter was Nick Sparks of The Social Man. And everything said in that post is true.

The Chateau is not anti-PUA workshop. They undoubtedly serve a valuable function as thousands of men are still ponying up big bucks to instructors across the world in the quest to attract more and better quality pussy. If the bootcamps and workshops were all scams, it would be common knowledge by now, nearly a decade after the first in-field seminars were established.

But there are shysters out there, and they need to be identified and shamed out of business. Plus, many seduction businesses charge what seem to Chateau proprietors to be exorbitant fees for what they are delivering. Nonetheless, that is more of a moral issue than a business ethics issue, for as long as there are men willing to spend thousands for weekend trips to the clubs with experienced PUAs, the market will respond by charging those prices that maximize profit.

So all in all it was an entertaining experience. Would I recommend it to others? Sure, because going to these meeting represents a proactive step in getting better with girls, which we can all respect and agree on.

In due time, the sorting process will allow the cream of the seduction businesses to rise to the top, while the squirrelly outfits sink into oblivion. Websites like this one can be a valuable consumer protection resource. In the future, perhaps the Chateau will set up a ranking system of the best to worst pickup workshops and bootcamps and their instructors, which readers can reference at a glance should they decide to shell out for professional instruction.