Reader Mailbag: Operant Conditioning Edition

Email #1:

First, thank you.  That’s all I need to say for the last 9 months of hitting pussy like an underhanded wiffle-ball toss.  Your advice is golden, and works, and makes me feel better about myself and about my interactions with women.

Bottom Line Up Front: I‘m fucking an 18 year old chick on a regular basis.  She came over to my place to clean last night, (she’s friends with my younger brother – they were both in high school cross country together).  When I got home, my laundry was folded and the place was in much better shape than when I left it.  I was at the bars with a bunch of buddies.  I brought them both some fast food, mostly because I love my younger brother and wanted to make sure he was taken care of, but also because I was signaling my provider potential.  Mistake.

After eating and chatting a bit about the night (I was very vague, but mentioned that it was a lot of fun,) I took off my clothes and went into my bedroom.  At this point, I must admit, I was running a passive aggressive shit test.  I wanted to see if this chick would get off the couch of her own accord, (where my lil bro was playing video games), and come to bed with me.  I should have nutted up and thrown her over my shoulder, but I was drunk and mistakes were made.  After finishing her food, she reclined back on the couch.  I gave her one more chance, “you kiddies don’t stay up too late.” and went into my room and crashed.

This morning, she was not in my bed.  She was still on the couch curled up in a blanket.  (Had she been in my bed I might have forgiven her by giving her doggie style good morning sex, but no.)

I woke her up by being noisy – I was pissed – because I knew SHE knew what she had done, and that now I was being tested.  I wasn’t sure how to react, but in these situations, I normally go with my gut, which said to call her out.  Again, I acted passive aggressively, (stupid!). I ignored her as she stared at me from the couch while I walked around in a towel getting ready.  I went into my room and shut the door and read your blog for a bit, looking to see if you’d written anything applicable about this issue, but was too pissed to concentrate.

Finally, I left for work.  I almost left without talking to her, but gave in at the last moment.  I gave her a peck on the forehead and a one armed hug and walked out the door without making eye contact.

However, on the drive over, I remembered your post on dread, and sent her a text that said, “I’m upset with you right now.  It might be nothing, but we need to talk when I get home.”  Again, I should have acted more aggressively, or just not sent this message, but your dual advice of playing it cool and letting loose the storm of masculine rage when slighted had me somewhere in tepid waters, the result being my responses to her bullshit.

What would you have done?  How can I salvage this, as I honestly don’t feel like I have hand on this one.  I see her again 2pm west coast time, and I’d like to walk into that interaction prepared.

Very respectfully,

~Dr. Drew

I get a warm but somewhat disturbed feeling when I find that an emailer is reading this blog in between bouts of drama with an insolent girlfriend. It’s a little bit trippy, this feeling inside…

Yeah, you screwed up, but not for the reason you think. It wasn’t the provider-signaling fast food itself that caused her to clam up; it was the fact that you offered this food after a night out on the town with the boys. You know what goes through a chick’s mind when a man does that?

“He must be guilty of something.”

And do you know what women do to men they think are guilty of something? They shit test them until the men start to believe they’re guilty of something. You see, a man’s guilt is the soft underbelly that, when exposed, a female cannot resist but sink her claws into and eviscerate. Your fast food happy meal, coming so close on the heels of a late night at the bars without her, was akin to a confessional.

A single instance of resource provision is not inherently beta. The key to successfully navigating the straits between sexless beta provider drone and loved alpha quasi-cheapskate lies in the context. Next time, offer fast food when she’s least expecting it. Hint: not after she could conceivably suspect you of fooling around, and not after she has just banged you.

Now that we know what the problem was, we can safely diagnose the rest of your interaction. It was bad. You made a precarious situation worse with your actions. When a girl freezes up and withholds sex, your response should NOT, under any circumstances, be a peck on the forehead and a one-armed hug. Do you reward a dog with a pig ear for shitting on your carpet? No? Same difference.

The text you sent was even worse. It sounds like Stuart Smalley wrote it. The Stuart Smalleys of the world don’t get laid, they only get elected to Congress with the help of illicit felon votes. You tried to thread the needle between cool, unfazed alpha and take-no-shit-from-anyone, angry alpha. This was unwise. Choose one or the other in the moment. Vacillation is the moisture wicking pad of the female libido. Unfortunately, everything you did played right into her hands. She now has the satisfaction of knowing two things:

1. That whatever it is that just happened between you two, you were certainly the one to blame, and
2. That she has assumed control of the relationship, or what’s left of it.

Here is what you should have done when you saw her sleeping on the couch the next morning. Nudge her awake, then tell her to get out, you have stuff to do. Your tone of voice and facial expression should be neutral. She will quietly gather her stuff and leave, or she will whine about talking over whatever it is that’s bothering you. Either way, you have regained hand. Stay in character, and usher her out the door, explaining that you’ll give her a call later. “Later” meaning a period of time no shorter than two days and closer to five days. That is how you punish a woman so that she learns to respect the cocka.

Here is how you can salvage the relationship.

Step One: Mentally demote her to an ex-girlfriend you just dumped. This will put you in the proper frame of mind for future interactions.

Step Two: One week. Absence makes the tingle vibrate stronger. Don’t contact her for a week. Her hamster will do all your work for you.

If you follow the two steps above, odds are good she will call you first. Don’t show your cards right away. Let her talk as if nothing is wrong. Find out her angle, where she’s coming from. Then, when she thinks she has smoothed everything over (assuming she still wants to be with you), you unload the beaver buster:

“Oh, and by the way, if you ever pull that couch stunt again, you and I are through.”

PS: I hesitate to mention the following, because it’s a bit gauche. There are two other, albeit less likely, explanations for why she camped out on the couch to play video games with your younger brother instead of trot behind you to your bedroom.

One, she’s having a fling with another dude.

Two, that other dude is your brother.

Just throwing it out there. Jer-ry! Jer-ry!

******

Email #2

I need some advice:

I was laying on my bed at night with a girl i have been seeing and sleeping for some months. She is a 8 and all was well. Then she asks for some Chocolate. To clarify, she is thin but loves chocloate. I tell her that i have no chocolate in the house. She asks to get her some. I think “Shittest” and tell her, that i will not go out just to get her chocolate. She hits me with “No chocolate, no sex!”. I handle this as a shittest as well an try a “I do not negotiate with terrorists, holding sex hostage, i fight them” approach an start some foreplay. She resists and because i do not want to seem to needy and it is late anyway i said “good night, terrorist” and went to sleep. (

The next day we lay on my bed again and she wants Chocolate again and ask me why i did not buy some. I answer that i told her that i do not negotiate with terrorists and she answers “It is not terrorism, it is a deal”. I ask what i would get for one bar of chocolate. She tells me i would get a blowjob. I joke that this is way to much for just a blowjob. She tells me that 2 chocolatbars would buy casual sex, with three we could try anal if it does not hurt too much, and for ten i could do whatever i want. All this is said with a smirk. I tell her i do not buy before testing the goods and so we have sex (but just the one and two chocolate bar kind, as usual).

What now? Do I never speak of it again because i do not want to make her frame stronger that i have to “pay” to sleep with her or get kinky acts or just get 10 chocolate bars and tell her to be my bitch (and get her an excuse to get slutty)?

Thanks in advance

C.
P.S: if you put this on the page feel free to correct my english

Get the dog to shit on a plate, sprinkle the turd with powdered sugar and drizzle with raspberry sauce, garnish with mint leaf, and present it to her with great aristocratic flourish as a dessert of the finest Belgian chocolate mousse. At the Chateau, we do “2 girls, 1 cup” with a little extra attention to detail. Bonus!: 2 birds, 1 cup, you have made a sly political commentary about the effluvium that issues forth from Brussels.

But seriously, you’re overthinking this. I can’t tell the tone from what you wrote, but it sounds to me that she’s just being playful. Go out and buy a huge dark chocolate bar, come back with it, act as if you are planning to give it to her, then sit down next to her and eat it yourself. When she whines, tell her it’s delicious. When she tries to grab for it, tell her to stop being a baby, she must wait until you’re done eating your part of it. Leave the tiniest piece behind and give that to her. Act like it is a great sacrifice on your part.

If she can’t have a laugh about that, then you have free rein to cheat. There’s nothing worse than a chick with no sense of humor. Oh wait, there is… an ugly chick with no sense of humor.

PS: Ten chocolate bars doesn’t sound like a bad deal for sex with a hottie. Sure beats drowning in mortgage debt and blowing a wad on an engagement ring.

******

Email #3

I enjoy your blog.

How do you feel about giving women nicknames?

This guy I worked with called his girlfriend, “Kitten.” I heard him to talk to her on the phone. I mean, he basically called her “Pussy” every time he talked to her. So, he was superficially affectionate but always reminding her that her worth was between her legs. (I met her, eventually, and she was model hot and was really into him.)

George W. Bush gave nicknames to all his underlings. I used to think it was dickish bullying, but I see now that it’s a superficially friendly way to assert dominance. And it’s still dickish.

Then, I read some woman’s advice about how men shouldn’t give women nicknames on the first date, and I knew that doing the opposite of what a drying-up mid-thirties advice columnist wrote about how the treat women was probably right.

I think that there could be something to this. Maybe in a cocky/funny way.

T.

Nicknames are great. They establish the proper paternalistic male – frivolous female dynamic that is the foundation of all successful and happy romantic relationships. Plus, they objectify women, and almost all women, contrary to the shrieks of dusty muffed feminists everywhere, harbor a secret desire to be objectified by condescending men. Imagine a cock slapping a chick’s face… forever. (plz to make animated gif.)

So you should always give women nicknames, preferably more than one to suit whatever happens to be the occasion.

Some of my personal favorites:

Lovechop.

Little Miss Muffin.

Showgirl.

Sugar Walls.

Miss Minx.

Princess Peach Pit.

Puss n Boobs.

Tits Ahoy.

Twinkletits.

Jujube.

Cock Envelope.

Queef Latifah.

Ho.

Good rule of thumb: the hotter the chick, the sluttier the nickname. It’s imperative that you sexualize a hot girlfriend soon after beginning to date her. Hot chicks have huge egos and crave a man who will bring them down to earth. This bringing down to earth process involves basically treating her like a convenient wet hole.

I’d steer clear of granting mushy or sexual nicknames to girls on first dates. That’s a fast track to disqualifying yourself as a needy pervert. Those are best saved for later on. Early game chicknames should be more teasing, less sexual. Like calling her Red Carpet when she shows up overdressed to an event, or Grace Kelly when she trips on the sidewalk.

Caveat: The uglier the girl, the more careful you’ll have to be about choosing nicknames. Too caustic, and she might start crying. Too sexual, and she’ll think you’re making fun of her. But really, why would you bother?

My Ex-Girlfriend Was A Beauty Pageant Winner

I use the photo routine to display higher value via preselection to a girl I’m gaming. I’ll pull out the camera to show a girl pics of my last vacation, and stuffed in the middle of beach shots and party shots there will be semi-erotic photos of hot ex-girlfriends and myself. I act like I’m surprised they are there.

“Woops, let’s just skip right over that. You weren’t supposed to see that.”

Naturally, this will intrigue my target, even though she will never say so aloud. But the seed of tingles will have been planted.

My favorite “random” photo of an ex is the beauty pageant winner I used to date. I have a pic of her in her gown and winner’s sash. When girls see that, my mate value rockets through the roof. To avoid overwhelming the girl, I usually downplay it by explaining that beauty pageant winners are more trouble than they’re worth.

“Yeah, you’d think this is every man’s dream, to date a beauty pageant winner. But it’s not what it’s cracked up to be. They have huge egos and think the world owes them something. But then they’re also really insecure about their looks. They are always fishing for compliments. “Does my ass look fat in this?” It’s enough to drive a man crazy! They have body conscious issues, too. Taking my ex out to dinner was an ordeal. She was so particular about what she ate, and how much of it she ate. Then afterwards, to alleviate the guilt, she would say “It’s ok, because I know you love me for me.”

Since I know you’re curious, here is a pic of my beauty pageant winner ex-girlfriend:

She’s the second from the left. I picked the dress out for her. It really flatters her Rubenesque curves.

So far, I haven’t yet closed the deal using the beauty pageant winner ex-girlfriend photo routine, but I’m sure it’s just a matter of time. I mean, how much more socially proofed can a man get? I think girls are just intimidated by the quality of woman I’m used to getting.

******

Defining deviancy down.

The rabid cultural compulsion to make the deviant normal has got to be one of the signal developments of an empire in decline. When historians look back on the once-great USA twenty years from now, wondering why the country fell into ruin and disrepute, the Miss Plus America pageant will have to figure prominently in the list of peculiarities heralding the fall from grace.

The elevation of the deviant (gay marriage), the ugly (fat chicks), the expedient (cheap peasant labor), the primitive (Univision), the unwise (libertarianism) and the crass (Chelsea “choppers” Clinton’s lavish recession-era wedding) to exalted status and dressed in the poison garnish of equalism are sure signs of the last days of a superpower wheezing its final raspy breaths, losing confidence in itself and its place in the world. Perhaps it is inevitable, like the turning of seasons. Humans — or maybe more specifically Northwest Europeans — can’t tolerate prosperity for long before they itch to undermine the labors of their ancestors and the philosophies bequeathed them by their betters. Even if inevitable, it’s still sad. The Chateau has a small, engraved motto nailed just above the wrought-iron lion knocker on its heavy oak doors.

When the beautiful
yields to the ugly
then shall lies
in the guise of truth
plant its flag of victory

I’ll do my part to save America from dribbling its tepid beta spooge ignominiously down the wide load ass crevasse of self-satisfied fat chicks by mocking their fatness cruelly at every opportunity. Dudes of America, now it’s your turn to contribute to the war effort. Punish our women for their fat ways. Don’t flirt with them. Refuse to date them. Stop fucking them. And for fuck’s sake, stop having kids by them. Failing this, you will only continue feeding the beast, literally and figuratively. Have some fucking standards. What are you, animals, rutting with anything that moves? Our nation of fat women must know, absolutely MUST understand in no uncertain terms, that their fatness is costing them a chance at love and sex.

There

must

be

consequences.

If on the other hand, you don’t have a problem sticking your dick in an undulating walrus hide, then there is no hope left for beauty in America. As long as there are Miss Plus America pageants, East Europe shines like a beacon on the horizon for ex-patriots like myself. I don’t want to live in a country where women think it’s OK to bloat into whales, *and* to celebrate their whaleness with princess crowns and sashes like it’s some sort of hard-won accomplishment.

Dante had the ninth circle all wrong. It’s sitting at the bottom of a bowl of pork rinds.

Carolyn Hax, Man-Hating Algorithm

Ah, Carolyn Hax, Style columnist for that paragon of post-truth propaganda, The Washington Post, has been the subject of tender ministrations here at the Chateau before. Well, she’s back for some more very special lessons.

In her advice column, (goddamn she gets paid for this shit?), she dispenses her wisdom to an astute emailer who wonders why chicks dig jerks.

Washington, D.C.: How come if a woman has dated both “nice” guys and abusive guys, you’ll find out that in just about every case, her longest relationships have been with the abusive guys? Why do so many women require some form of drama to remain entertained in a relationship, and do you find this to be childish behavior?

Carolyn Hax: Not as childish as attributing this to women as opposed to people in general, and lumping all women as opposed to addressing some of them who have a similar set of circumstances, and blaming the victims instead of the abusers.

But other than that, I’m right there with you.

If you are a guy, and if you are angry that women aren’t receptive to you when you see yourself as a “nice” guy, and you believe these women are instead receptive to abusive guys, then maybe it would be productive to consider that you’re harboring attitudes about women (and men, for that matter) that aren’t really “nice” at all.

The emailer is, of course, correct. Any man with a lick of experience with women will know the score — hot babes often spend their prime years in the carelessly aloof arms of assholes. Hax surely knows this in the primitive part of her brain, but the sophistic hamster-driven part is the one writing her insipid advice columns, and so she squirts tepid fembot anti-generalization shibboleths right on cue when someone shines a glimmer of reality in front of her face.

Hax, the truth that makes you so uncomfortable, and which will now gleefully be retold to maximize the pain this will cause you should you stumble across this post, is this:

Chicks, particularly the hottest chicks men want to fuck the most, are irresistibly drawn to assholes. Uncaring assholes, to be exact. There is a simple explanation for why so many men of varying virtue and character and success with women make this oft-repeated claim, and no recourse to lame excuses about “blaming the victim” or “bitter beta males who aren’t really as nice as they say” are needed. That simple explanation which eludes you is that the observation is true. Occam’s Razor never did give nothing to the feminist, that she didn’t, didn’t already deny.

Let’s deconstruct Hax’s reply for shits and giggles.

“Not as childish as attributing this to women as opposed to people in general”

Fallacy of gender equalism. When forced to ponder female mating behavior that is less than angelic, feminists will often resort to the “Yeah, but he does it too, Mom!” form of argument. It’s not a very good debate tactic, but it’s made even worse by the fact that it’s a lie. Men are not attracted to asshole girls. Men are attracted to sweet, feminine, hot girls with minimal drama. The holy fucking grail of chickianity is the drama-free, faithful, feminine and beautiful babe. That more than a few of these beautiful babies bring drama with them is sometimes not enough negative externality to turn men off from fucking them. Or even marrying them.

Women, on the other hand, will often fuck assholes even when those assholes bring nothing else of value to the table except their aloof and indifferent charms.

Yes, Mz. Hax, chicks really do dig jerks. They love jerks so much that the bed bounces off the floor when they fuck them.

“and lumping all women as opposed to addressing some of them who have a similar set of circumstances”

Women, and especially fembots, cannot distinguish between rules and exceptions. Thus, they are prone to mistakenly and hilariously refuting general rules on the basis that exceptions exist using the highly Socratic argument known as “proof by indignation at lumping”. In this formulation, noticing a general trend is the equivalent of “lumping”, and lumping is the impotent brain blurt of bitter betaboys and losers. For no man who isn’t a failure with women could possibly notice general tendencies that the female sex shares. Right? See, it’s ipso facto all the way down.

“and blaming the victims instead of the abusers.”

If the girl is choosing to stay with the “abuser”, then she’s not a victim. Victims aren’t normally happily in love with their tormentors. And it’d help if you slippery cunts would clarify what exactly you mean by “abusive”. Plenty of assholes don’t raise a hand to their lovers, but tease, mock, and patronize them in such a way that polite society socialites would publicly denounce for the edification of their SWPL tribe, but then secretly masturbate to with the blinds drawn. If the man is truly bad news, then the girl who stays with him deserves some of the blame for her predicament. That’s right, mothafuckaaaaaa. I said it. I meant it. It’s out there.

“But other than that, I’m right there with you.”

Snark: the universal feminist response to anything that rattles their exquisitely manicured worldview.

“If you are a guy”

It’s time to take back the word man. “Guy” has become the semantical substitute for nebulous eunuch-type humanoid. It is a neutering affectation.

“and if you are angry that women aren’t receptive to you when you see yourself as a “nice” guy, and you believe these women are instead receptive to abusive guys”

It’s telling that she puts nice in scare quotes, but doesn’t do the same with abusive.

“then maybe it would be productive to consider that you’re harboring attitudes about women (and men, for that matter) that aren’t really “nice” at all.”

And here we get to the shriveled black heart of the archetypical thundercunt. If a man notices something about women’s nature that could be construed as unpleasant, he is a woman-hating loser. Since there are no negative generalizations — or any generalizations at all — that can be made about women, it stands to reason that men who do so have issues.

Hmm, now what other modern day leftie newspeak designed to thwart honest discussion about heretical social realities does this remind you of?

******

Update

The anti-SWPL in the exchange above who shocked the world with his plain speaking about what his lying eyes were seeing emailed Hax again for a clarification.

Washington, D.C.: So you’re saying that there’s no segment of women that require drama to be entertained, and I have an attitude problem for disliking drama? Again, when you confront a woman who has been in abusive relationships, which is relatively common, why are their abusive relationships the longest relationships they have? You’d think that the relationship with non abusive men would be the longer relationships, right?

Carolyn Hax: Not if you know anything about abusive relationships. If they were easy to resist and easy to leave, nobody would be in them.

And if you don’t see that men get into relationships with abusive women, and stay with them long past the point of reason, and generate enough drama per couple for a Lifetime movie marathon, then you’re not looking for information, you’re looking to score points.

Sounds like Hax is backpedaling on her original claim that the emailer is a bitter “non-niceguy” with woman issues. So she’s now agreeing with him that women enter abusive relationships. Hax, keep your feminist talking points straight. Is the man who generalizes about women a loser, or are women victims for being so honestly generalizable?

This canard that women can’t resist or leave abusive relationships is utter bullshit. Funny, women seem to have no trouble at all resisting the come-ons of non-assholes, or leaving relationships with beta boyfriends. Where will she go? To whom will she turn? What about the chance he might stalk her? Those questions never come up when the man she’s leaving is a man she doesn’t love.

And what is it with Hax’s contention that men get into relationships with abusive women? Is this imaginary belief supposed to refute the emailer’s original point about women devoting the best years of their lives to long term relationships with assholes? She sounds befuddled by the inconsistencies in her logic. Attention all planets of the fembot federation. The hamster has assumed control. The hamster has assumed control. *squeak!*

The projection by Hax is astounding. Is she looking for information, or is she looking to score points? So far, we have her on record as accusing the emailer of having an attitude problem with respect to women. Sounds like Hax is open to a bracingly fresh and candid discussion! Not.

Men prefer to get into relationships with hot women. Hot women, by virtue (or by vice) of their expanded options in the sexual market, sometimes have bitchier attitudes than less attractive women who must compete by winning men over with sparkling personalities and easier access to their pussies. This does not mean hot women are bitchy all the time, or to all men, but many of them will be bitchy to men they are dating if they feel the men aren’t the best they can get. Nor does this mean those men prefer their women to be bitchy to them; men would much rather hot babes not act bitchy, but will resignedly put up with the bitchiness if she is the hottest they can have at the moment. Men do not chase bitches for the sake of their bitchiness, but women will chase assholes for the sake of their assholery.

Hax, if this wasn’t clear enough, here’s a clue. The reason there are widely-held stereotypes about women chasing after assholes all out of proportion to a few anecdotes about fetishistic men who chub for bitches is because…

wait for it….

hang on…

here it comes….

it’s true!

Do you think stereotypes materialize out of thin air? Here’s another stereotype for you: cunty urban yentas are the last source of advice a man who wants to understand women should turn to.

Soft Polygamy In A Single Picture

Yet More Proof That A Few Men Are Getting Most Of The Action

Vox Day writes:

It’s not an 80/20 rule, it’s a 90/10 rule.

“Percent of all women 15-44 years of age who have had three or more male partners in the last 12 months, 2002: 6.8%

Percent of all men 15-44 years of age who have had three or more female partners in the last 12 months, 2002: 10.4%”

– Sexual Behavior and Selected Health Measures: Men and Women 15–44 Years of Age, United States, 2002, CDC

That’s the CDC, folks. Hard data providing evidence for the reality of female hypergamy.

Here are some more related soul-ripping statistics:

“Median number of female sexual partners in lifetime, for men 25-44 years of age, 2002: 6.7
Percent of men 25-44 years of age who have had 15 or more female sexual partners, 2002: 29.2%

Median number of male sexual partners in lifetime, for women 25-44 years of age, 2002: 3.8
Percent of women 25-44 years of age who have had 15 or more male sexual partners, 2002: 11.4%

NOTE: Includes partners with whom respondent had any type of sexual contact (anal, oral, or vaginal intercourse)“

That footnote is important. The Chateau has argued before that social survey data like the GSS are compromised by the fact that modern women are more likely than generations past to preclude mouth, hand and ass love from the definition of sexual partner. Le Hamster Version Deux, he is working overtime, non?

What To Say To A Girl Who Asks You A Question You Don’t Want To Answer

Reader Andy writes:

Hey,

I like the blog and have picked up some tips. Thanks.

I have a great tip for you based on a recent post. You talked about how “it’s complicated” is a great answer to a majority of shit test questions. It’s OK, but I have the mother of [all] responses. [Editor: MOAR!] You have to use it sparingly though to make it most effective.  I was taught this in sales training many years ago.

When someone askes you a question you might not want to answer (for whatever reason, or no reason at all) you respond with “why is that important for you to know?”.

It totally moves them from aggressive to defensive.

If you’re an older guy and a chick asks “how old are you?” you say immediately “why is that important for you to know?”, what could she possibly say in response? If you think a chick is a gold digger, when she inevitably askes “what do you do for a living?” and you answer with that, what is she gonna say? “because I’m a gold digging bitch and don’t want to waste my time with a loser”. Nope. She’ll get all flustered and give you some answer and feel like an idiot. Perfect time to close.

The actual success rate of this sly evasive maneuver is less salient than the frame shift it accomplishes. If, for instance, a girl asks what you do and you don’t want to tell her, saying “why is that important for you to know” won’t necessarily budge her from trying to find out at some point, but it will put her on the defensive. And a girl in the defensive crouch is a girl giving birth to gina tingles. When you induce a girl to explain her fascination with you and your goings-on, her avaricious hindbrain will be tricked into registering your status as higher than hers, and from thence intimacy may commence.

“It’s complicated” and “Why is that important for you to know?” are two MOARs every aspiring Casanova should have in his arsenal of seduction.

A Solid Neg To Open A Cashier

The neg open is not to be underestimated. When opening very cute chicks it’s almost a necessity.

Reader BuhBrian writes:

I suddenly used this line on a cashier girl yesterday I’ve seen at a store a few times.  While I didn’t go for the number **, I amused myself in this spontaneous exchange.

Her:  you want your receipt?

Me:  No thanks. Hey, didn’t you used to have braces?

Her:  (caught off guard)  no..

Me:  Really?.. You look like someone who just had their braces removed recently.

Her:  (rather confused and flattered)  I’ve never had braces in my life actually…thanks.. blaa blah something, have a good weekend.

Her tone was good, and really accepting.  I detected no attitude or insult in her voice at the braces remark.

Telling someone I thought they had braces is in someways a neg (your teeth must have been real fucked up, I’m sure), but underhandedly came out as a complement (nice smile). Which wasn’t my original intention.

**  Since I didn’t go for the number.  I just passed that moment by because of my dreg-ish wimpout tendencies.  Plus she was working and people were lining up at the register.  My alphaness wasn’t strong enough to not care.  But I do have a legit related question.

Q:  What are your thoughts on getting girls numbers from places you routinely shop and see them.

The braces neg is a good all-purpose neg, useful on cashiers and all kinds of women, including lawyers. I’m not surprised the girl reacted positively. It’s what girls do when they aren’t sure you insulted them or complimented them. Rev, lil’ hamster, rev! In the case of cashiers, where you don’t have the luxury of context or of time to open her the traditional way, a neg open can jolt her into a flirty frame of mind.

Transitioning from the neg open to a number close with a line of people waiting behind you is a difficult proposition. She is going to feel harried and unable to focus on exactly what you’re asking of her. You could build an insta-bond by letting her know you are aware of the stress of the situation.

“There’s a big line of people behind me, so I can’t linger here long. I don’t normally do this, but write your number on my receipt. I promise I won’t hold your naturally straight teeth against you.”

No doubt there are other ways to number close cashiers, so the floor is thrown open to commenters to add their suggestions.