Cologne On Your Balls

I have found the perfect cologne: Armani Attitude

It’s got a manly earthy undertone with a powerful musk oxen finish. I like to spritz a little on my crotch. A man with genitals as regal as mine deserves the finest perfumes.

“Did you spray cologne down here?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I think you’ve answered that.”

“Well, it does smell pretty good.”

“A boner bouquet.”

I think I’m onto something. I’m going to market a crotch cologne called “Eau de Another Woman’s Vaj Juice On My Dick”. It’ll be like catnip to the ladies.

Creating An Emotional Connection With Women

Over at Sebastian Flyte’s crisply written blog Elysium Revisited, I was tooling around and read a pretty good post about bringing a girl into deep rapport through the use of emotionally charged questions. An experiment was set up to discover how long it would take to build a romantic connection with someone. One group asked their partners a bunch of intimacy-building questions, while the control group asked their partners typically lame questions of the sort the average man without game might ask, such as “Where are you from?”.

Here are a few examples of the intimacy-building questions the first group asked:

Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are living now? Why?

What roles do love and affection play in your life?

What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

The questions were designed to be asked in a certain order, such that the tamer questions were asked first and the more intense questions asked later, the idea being that your partner would feel more comfortable answering the later serious questions if you loosened her up first with relatively benign questions. This “graduated verbal compliance” is similar to how kino progresses — from light, almost imperceptible touches on the forearm, to a hand on her thigh, and then to cheek to cheek contact when you whisper something in her ear.

The results of the experiment were unsurprising to anyone who has accepted the Good Word of Game into his life — the group asking the emotionally supercharged questions did not want to part company while the control group using Conor Friedersdorf-style respectful beta questions failed to ignite a romantic spark.

One of the laments I hear a lot from guys is “I can’t think of anything to say with a girl!”. It’s true; sometimes your brain will lock up and you’ll sit there blankly, desperately clawing your mind for any nuggets of insight to jumpstart the conversation with the girl. Unfortunately, once you’re aware of your struggle to say something fresh, your ability to move the conversation along plummets. It’s like the baseball player who suddenly thinks too hard about the mechanics of his throw and winds up getting the yips, throwing the ball into the dirt or way off-target. This is why I have a problem with PUAs who stress “natural game” at the expense of memorizing routines or one-liners. The truth is that having a few openers, negs, qualifiers, and deep rapport questions committed to memory will help any man hone his seduction skills. In fact, I used a few of the rapport questions from Sebastian’s post some months ago with a couple girls I dated, and they worked exactly as predicted.

If you’re really daring, you can try “serial killer game” deep rapport questions on your target, which amounts to hinting that you have a shady, violent past. And as we all know, quality (read: hot) chicks dig shady, violence-prone men.

YOU: Would you stay with a man you deeply loved if he confessed that he once did something very bad to another man who deserved it?

HER: It would depend on what he did.

YOU: Would you still love him if he asked you to help him dispose of the body?

HER: Um…

YOU: With a chainsaw?

HER: Kiss me!

Never Take Girl Advice From A Beta Or A Gay Man

In what has to be one of the most ignorant interpretations of game and its associated techniques I’ve read in a long time, some mincing little betaboy named Conor Friedersdorf, who looks like he was born to be a stay-at-home cuckold, wrote an article lashing out at men who dare to learn how better to attract women. Andrew Sullivan, the jihadist Homosexualist gay man who knows what it’s like being a straight man picking up women, gave Conor (what a precious name!) a platform on his blog to berate men who use negs as a courtship tactic. Conor found great offense in a post he read by occasional commenter Sebastian Flyte at his blog Elysium Revisited, and cried emo tears of sanctimonious envy that his cotton candy la-la land of soulmates and Hollywood love was being crapped on so mightily by men who know a thing or two about how women operate.

Of course, the belief that one acts amorally by manipulating women quickly leads to abhorrent behavior. The rogue who is zealous for sexual conquest at least understands that he acts badly if he uses deception to get sex. The cerebral “player,” exemplified by [Sebastian Flyte], doesn’t grasp that anything is the matter with his behavior.

As a result, he is quite unabashed as he describes a male behavior that I’ve observed on many occasions, and that I abhor more than any other mainstream pickup technique. Though I’d never heard it referred to as such, Sebastian Flyte dubs it “the Neg,” and calls it “the Swiss army knife of pickup.”

All goal-oriented communication is a form of manipulation. When you try to convince a friend to see a movie that you saw and loved, you are attempting to manipulate your friend’s emotions so that he cannot resist the urge to go see it himself. Manipulation is as permanent and commonplace a feature of the human condition as is eating. Some of us are just better at it than others.

Friedersdork “abhors” the neg. It’s “abhorrent behavior”. Funny that something so abhorrent should cause women to respond so positively to its use.

I’ve never seen anyone do this to a woman [the neg] who hasn’t seemed to me a complete asshole even beforehand — and I’ve been dismayed at the frequency with which it works.

Betas like Conor HATE HATE HATE alpha males. The guy who doesn’t kiss up to women like the proudly chivalric beta champion of all that is noble and good is an automatic asshole. What motivates this tepid beta spittle? Is it that assholes discredit the Power of the Pedestal that betas reflexively place women upon? A lifetime of illusions shattered by one well-placed neg? I bet Conor is a feminist.

Fascinating, isn’t it? The author perceives a world wherein women unjustly pass over beta males in favor of alpha males. He justifies the insults in the same way that MIA justifies Third World robbery and murder: as a tool that is the only choice of the dispossessed to achieve equality.

This must be a first. Freidersdorf compared the neg to robbery and murder. A helpful clue, Conor: Women *like* being negged. It turns them on like a nice rack and a tight ass turns on men. Robbery and murder victims don’t get sexually intrigued by their assailants as far as I know.

Over at Sullivan’s histrionically Ghey Emporium of Steroidal Delights, our intrepid Master of His Own Domain further reflects on the seduction community and posts comments from readers.

The difference [between a neg and a compliment] is that while compliments or put downs can be either truthful or disingenuous, only put downs lower the self-esteem of the target. In most contexts, it seems obvious that it is wrong to gratuitously put people down for selfish ends. Why is dating different?

Newflash: The mating market is inherently selfish. How many women are offering free pussy access to homeless bums or pining niceguys? How many women expect *absolutely nothing* from a boyfriend or husband? You are a product, on display in a window case, for potential mates to inspect and deem worthy or unworthy. This goes for men and women. Humans are not exempt from the basic laws of the market just because we have the mental capacity to gussy up the dismal bartering of our innate goods and services with soul-sparing pretty lies.

Newsflash #2: Negs aren’t insults. They are edgy teasing. Is this distinction so difficult to grasp?

Newsflash #3: If “putting down” women is so wrong, why does it feel so right to them?

That some men cannot understand this really boggles my mind, and makes me suspect that they aren’t even thinking of women as being people (interestingly, some of these men seem to think of women as less than human, and others as superhuman). Every man can imagine how he would feel if a woman approached him at a bar, assessed his dress or some physical feature, and breezily made some cutting public remark: “You dress like a guy who has a small dick.” Yet numerous correspondents seem utterly unable to imagine that women might also feel badly if criticized this way.

Conor Friedersdorf, beta of the month candidate, has no understanding of negs.

Moreover, if I concede that some women find these kinds of put-downs thrilling — I’ll do so for the sake of argument — the problem remains that a guy out approaching strangers in a bar cannot reliably distinguish between that kind of woman, if indeed she exists, and the kind of woman who’ll be quite wounded by a deprecating remark made about her by a stranger.

Conor Freidersdorf suffers from the same mental disease that afflicts most betas and all women — the frantically held belief that women are individual wonders of joy and incomprehensible mystery who cannot ever be generalized about. Except that their belief is bogus. Women mostly share the same criteria in what they find attractive in men, and beautiful women with high sexual market value share these criteria even more strongly than less attractive women who must compromise more to find a mate. Men don’t need to reliably distinguish between women who like getting negged and women who don’t, because almost all women like it. It’s part of their prehistoric coding. The only distinctions men need to take into account when deciding whether to use a neg are the hotness of his targets and the edginess of his negs. The less hot the chick relative to his own status, the lighter he can go on the negs without dooming himself to rejection or the LJBF zone.

[T]hose who use “the neg” concede that the pickup techniques they use succeed in part because they are unabashed about getting shot down many times in a night before they find someone for whom the technique works. Thus “the neg” is used on many women who are insulted but unsold, and who haven’t any intention of having casual sex.

Selection bias is an overused gotcha! counterargument by betas who wish to believe men cannot control how many women find them attractive. They think they are onto the “real” reason PUAs do well with women — numbers of approaches! game only works on girls that game works on! — but they are engaging in tautological handwaving. Certainly there is a learning curve where a guy will approach a lot of women to get his technique down pat, but once his skills are acquired he can dial down his approaches to the same number of women he approached before he learned game and still experience much greater success.

Advice: being yourself from the beginning might result in fewer relationships begun — but it’ll also result in fewer relationships lost.

This sounds like the happy slogan of beta self-abnegators anonymous, but the opposite could just as easily be true. If being yourself results in fewer relationships begun, it will also result in losing more of the few relationships you do manage to get. For if women don’t like aspects of your personality up front, they are going to like those aspects even less two years deep into an LTR.

This pretty lie is heard so often by guys like Conor that it’s become a Rorschach test for glimpsing the sordid inner workings of the beta mind. To the typical equalist pissbucket beta, there is no such thing as a useful generalization. Women are all individual creatures of deep deep individuality who go for all kinds of men. So maybe you can arouse that girl over there by using a neg on her, but there are ten more girls who would never fall for it. So you must… MUST… treat women as individuals. Eventually, you’ll find that perfect match who LOVES YOU FOR YOU. Nevermind that a guy like Johnny Depp or Scott Peterson gets thousands of times more attention from women than Milton the stapler guy.

Friedersbeta goes on to quote his favorite reader e-mail:

How does one determine if a pickup technique has “worked”? What counts as success? You say that “the neg” does indeed work sometimes. What does that mean? I guess it depends on what the pickupper’s goals are. But I bring this up because that discussion about pickup techniques seemed to assume that women are all looking for nice guys to have solid relationships with – they could be seduced by “the neg” and then get burned. But women can spot pickup techniques that are disrespectful and still respond positively (outwardly). A man who uses “the neg” or some other slimy pickup technique can be taken to be someone whose feelings are not of great importance. So he could be used for free drinks, free tickets, meaningless sex, whatever – and all without guilt because, hey, he’s no better, right? It may not be moral, but it is fair. A man’s pickup techniques can signal exactly where he belongs on the relationship food chain. Has a guy who has used “the neg” and then ends up buying lots of drinks been successful? Depends on if he likes buying women drinks, I guess.

I hate to break it to this reader, but a man who knows about negs and uses them to great effect is a man who is smart enough to know not to buy women drinks. Until after sex. Heh.

Beta of the Month candidate:

If You Call A Girl By Another Girl’s Name

Don’t panic. Carry on as if your flub didn’t happen. The worst thing you could do would be to call attention to your crushing of your Special Snowflake’s special-ness. Don’t feel guilty. Guilty players have got no rhythm. Guilt will compel you to reflexively atone for sins real and imagined.

YOU: Seduce seduce seduce Heather seduce seduce seduce.

HER: You just called me Heather. My name’s not Heather.

YOU: Oh yeah, how ’bout that. Weird. One of my little nieces is named Heather. You must remind me of her somehow. Maybe the brattiness?

I have mixed up the names of plenty of girls. It happens a lot when I’m dating three or more girls concurrently. I will whip myself into a psychocathartic herbpulp later for the grossly misogynistic thing I’m about to say [yes, yes I will, I surely will], but you ladies all blend into one another when I’m sitting across from you at the bar sharing drinks and a story from your life. I can remember the details of how your asses meet the backs of your thighs, but your nonprofit jobs and travels to “that really amazing and beautiful” place somewhere in the world where a million other girls of your station in life went to for slutcation just sort of melds into a buzzing grrlnoize of boring mindrot. And so it is without malice of heart that I explain the rather prosaic reason for why I sometimes get you, Dasha, mixed up with you, Julie. If I were a beta who only managed to date one woman per year and consequently obsessed over that one woman, I might do better at remembering your names.

So take it as a positive sign that you have successfully captured the attention of an alpha male when he mixes up your name with that of his “niece”. You don’t want no fake alpha, ladies!

Similarly, I will sometimes forget your names during our courtship. I mean blanking out completely. Don’t take it personally, though. I’m a busy guy with lots of important thoughts in my head, like how to raise my status so that more pretty girls like you are drawn to my sexual dynamism. When I forget your name, I feel embarrassed, but I won’t ever let it show. Instead, I will either a) wait for someone else to address you and recoup your name that way, b) sneak a peek at your license, or c) say “I have a confession to make… [PAUSE WITHOUT SMILING]… I have forgotten your name.” Please note the past participle form of that last sentence; the passive voice helps the medicine go down.

This has never failed me. The one time I forgot a girl’s name and attempted to rescue the situation by “being myself”, I paid for it with no sex.

What Is A Natural?

Readers sometimes ask me: “What is a natural? How do you define one? What makes a natural who falls into pussy different from the majority of men who have to struggle every day of their lives to taste morsels of muff?”

The natural has three things going for him, that when combined into one ubermensch transforms him from a faceless dick on the prowl to a potent pickup machine.

1. Genetic blessings. He was born with a seductive ability to understand women and relate to them in such a way that their legs spread unbidden to his subtle provocations. This ability is intuitive Game, no different in function than the game taught in books and at seminars, and it is an order of magnitude more critical to getting laid than being born with rugged good looks, though it is true the best naturals are born with both. Naturals are blessed with computational power shared equally between their right and left brain hemispheres, and they tend to be more verbally adept than the average man.
2. He started young. Every natural I’ve known began their skirt chasing careers before their first pube sprouts saw the light of day. If you ask a PUA when he started getting good with women, he can usually tell you the exact day and time. If you ask a natural the same question, he’ll shrug his shoulders and say he’s always been this way.
3. He tasted success before failure. That very first naive, bumbling attempt at the age of fourteen to win a cute girl’s heart will make or break a man’s future with women. Failure will leave an indelible mark that won’t ever wash away for many men, corrupting their confidence with women for decades. For other men, early failure lingers like a stinkbomb in the soul until he rescues his confidence through sheer willpower and ambition. But the natural had success with his first girl, and that fledgling success laid the foundation for his confidence to grow like a fission reaction building on itself.

You will find naturals disproportionately represented in the fields of sales, politics, the fine arts, psychology, and pimp-dom. Naturals are not necessarily the men who sleep with the most women, but they are the men who *could* sleep with the most women should they choose to do so. Many naturals are in leadership positions because the persuasive mind techniques they possess that open pussy are the same mental gifts that open career opportunities.

Silvio Berlusconi is a natural, and probably was one long before he became a billionaire and prime minister. If you doubt this, read the following taped transcript of a conversation between Silvio and one of his lovers (link provided by reader Butters):

Woman: A young man would have come in a second.. I mean he would have come… Young men usually have a lot of pressure.

Silvio: But if you will allow me… (muffled) I believe it is a family thing.

Woman: What?

Silvio: Having an orgasm.

Woman: You know how long it has been since I had sex like I had with you tonight. It’s several months, since I broke with my boyfriend. Is this normal?

Silvio: May I? You should have sex with yourself. You should touch yourself often.

These, my friends, are the seductive words of a natural. The woman in this conversation is thirty years younger than Silvio. Godspeed, you randy old fart. May we all have the blessings to enjoy our Golden Rod years the way you do.

Face Saving

Recently I was talking with a girl about the first time we met (read: the first time I forced her to meet me with my brazen approach) and how I went about seducing her. She laughed and told me my “palm reading was gay”. I reminded her how much she enjoyed it at the time, her palm outstretched in eager anticipation.

This is not the first time a girl I have banged has mused on the gayness or silliness of the game I ran to seduce her into bed. Girls love to look back fondly and say “Oh, he was such a dork the way he tried to pick me up”, as if they thought it would be cute to let me think I was making headway with them, then decided to sleep with me for reasons beyond my ken. Naturally, I accept this for the face saving maneuver it is; girls simply don’t want to rationally acknowledge how easily they fall for a man with tight game. But it’s so transparent. Every girl who has said my gaming of her was “gay” or “silly” had lapped it up in the moment like a hungry kitten in front of a bowl of milk.

Girls are gay.

Henry Louis Gates Junior

We all knew that weirdo loner kid from seventh grade. He was the strange kid who shuffled around the hallways with his head down, and always sat in the desk as far away from everyone else as possible. Sometimes bullies would pick on him, but mostly the other kids ignored him. He hardly ever spoke, and never rose his hand in class to offer an answer to a question. Nobody knew what he was thinking, and nobody cared, not even the teachers. But he nursed silent grudges, lots of them. Grudges against the popular kids he thought were always talking behind his back plotting his demise, against the cute girls who never acknowledged him, against authority figures who didn’t understand his deep deep pain. These grudges would simmer for months, building to a boil, until one day one of the cool kids accidentally bumped into him while he was standing at his locker, and he turned around in a rage, his eyes on fire, and rained blows down upon that kid, screaming obscenities at the top of his cracking voice. The outburst startled everyone who witnessed it. A teacher rushed up, dragging him away from his hapless victim lying on the floor.

Henry Louis Gates Junior is that weirdo loner kid.