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Arnie

Lex was a ruggedly handsome man, mid-40s, and in shape from near daily yoga and martial arts classes. He was fidgety and frenetically hyperverbal and rarely came up for breath once he got rolling on a story drawn from his illustrious past and present lifestyle. And what stories! He ran a business in the recreation industry which put him in contact with a steady stream of young European girls. This contact often led to intimacy. Many patrons of his business would regale you with tales of witnessing Lex whisk some new 22 year old Polish hottie back to his quarters for a night of debauchery, only to do it again the next night with a new girl.

The four of us sat around the restaurant table swapping war stories from the field. Lex’s tomcat career was long and fruitful, but an undercurrent of melancholic nostalgia buttressed the impression that he had let one or two “quality girls” get away. He seemed, in a way, a traitor to his contentment — a victim of chance and his compulsions. Lex made a passing comment, barely noticed in the cavalcade of sex stories if you weren’t paying attention, that “it was getting harder out there” and he needed to adjust accordingly.

backstage at the met opera

Zeets admired the unapologetically masculine lifestyle Lex chose for himself. Marriage, kids, social approval, clock punching and clock ticking? Fuck that noise. Lex lived on his own terms, in hock to no one but himself. Zeets playfully encouraged Lex’s telling of his numerous conquests and the game he runs on women in the big city. Lex was especially fond of “fruit stand game” where he would casually sidle up to a girl (Lex banged chicks of all ages, as long as they were younger than him) and guess what meal she was going to cook judging by the veggies she had in her basket. Since Lex was a competent cook, this banter would often segue into him inviting her over for dinner.

Trent, the fourth and youngest man at the table, also approved of Lex’s playboy adventures, but his approval carried more weight. Trent was a one woman kind of guy, always strapped into a long term relationship that lasted for years and eager to get back into one on the rare occasions he was single. Trent was no herb; he had the tools and the skill to seduce many women if he wanted, so his relatively monogamous existence was all the more intriguing.

Outside of the restaurant we parted, and Lex declined our offer to go to the bar for drinks and carousing. He was on his way back home to make a thousand calls. Lex could hardly focus on anything for long — his ADHD was legendary — and he barely stopped moving as we bro-slapped hands goodbye.

Around 1AM back at Trent’s apartment, as we were about to step inside, an older man, late 40s or early 50s, with a paunch and one shirttail of his light blue button down poking out of his jeans, greeted us with a weary but friendly expression. He introduced himself as Arnie and said he had been Trent’s neighbor for five years. Trent nodded his head knowingly as if he recognized Arnie, but later told us in private he had never seen the guy. He probably had, but it didn’t register.

Arnie was an affable bloke, and we stood outside in the mild air leaning against stair railings under the diffuse glow of the city lights for fifteen minutes talking guy stuff. We learned Arnie was never married, lived alone, and worked in a blue collar hands-on job, and that it was clear to me that he possessed the basic intelligence to work white collar if he so chose. He had lived in the city his whole life and his apartment was rent controlled. There was no chance he would leave, despite the landlord working hard to force out his tenants by passively ignoring repairs that needed to be done.

Arnie relished our company, that much I could tell. He asked us if we were planning to go out somewhere again that night. Trent mentioned the bar where he bartended and Arnie made a frown, explaining that that bar was too “hoity-toity” for him; he preferred down to earth establishments hanging “with the boys”. We laughed, because Trent’s bar is not really snobby, especially not for this city. We began turning our heads and shoulders toward the door and told Arnie we were going to call it a night. Arnie looked disappointed. “Well, another time, then.” He nodded at Trent. “Maybe I’ll meet you over at your bar sometime.” There was a hint of overeagerness in his gravelly voice.

As we stepped inside to leave Arnie behind in the streetlight-misted night, the door swung behind us with a slow creak. When it thumped closed, it echoed heavily in my ears.

MIAMI (Reuters) – Left-wing extremists in the United States are gaining new recruits by exploiting the ennui resulting from 60 years of prosperity and decadence, the Department of Homeland Security warned in a report to law enforcement officials.

The April 7 report, which Reuters and other news media obtained on Tuesday, said such fears were driving a resurgence in “recruitment and radicalization activity” by “whiter” supremacist groups, progovernment extremists and egalitarianist movements. It did not identify any by name.

DHS had no specific information about pending violence and said threats had so far been “largely rhetorical.”

But it warned that continuing racial and gender disparities in outcomes, mass consumerism during a prolonged period of peace, and other consequences of contrived intra-white status jockeying intensified by the increasing cognitive stratification of the last 30 years “could create a fertile recruiting environment for left-wing extremists.”

“To the extent that these factors persist, left-wing extremism is likely to grow in sanctimony,” DHS said.

The report warned that college graduates returning from liberal arts schools with degrees in communications, law and women’s studies could be recruitment targets, especially those having trouble finding a purpose in life beyond their IPod playlist or fitting back into a civilian society that still eats factory farmed meat.

The department “is concerned that left-wing extremists will attempt to recruit and radicalize returning graduates in order to boost their finger wagging capabilities,” the report said.

DHS spokeswoman Bulldyke McBulldykerson said on Tuesday the report was one of an ongoing series of threat assessments aimed at “a greater understanding of white elitist radicalization in the U.S.”

A similar assessment of right-wing radicals completed in January was distributed to federal, state and local police agencies at that time, under cover of night on a Friday. It was not reported on by the mainstream media, for fear of stoking a backlash by left-wing radicals.

“These assessments are done all the time, this is nothing unusual,” McBulldykerson insisted.

The Department of Homeland Security was formed in response to the September 11 attacks of 2001 and has focused largely on threats from Islamist extremists.

The report said domestic left-wing terrorist groups steadily grew during the economically prosperous years from 1950 to 2000 but temporarily subsided as the Twin Towers fell into fiery ash and 3,000 Americans died.

Government scrutiny disrupted treasonous plots to revise the U.S. Constitution to better reflect the values of postmodern America following a candlelight vigil for cop killer Mumai Abu-Jamal and covert attempts by business leaders, academics, community organizers, libertarians and residents of all-white gated communities to encourage demographic cleansing through mass population replacement. One such scraggly-bearded academic interviewed on condition of anonymity said after watching the Matrix trilogy, he “joyfully awaited the coming of Zion. Progress demands it. I’ve been practicing my rhythmic dancing to heavy bass beats.”

SINGLE WOMEN

“Despite similarities to the climate of the second half of the 20th century, the threat posed by childless, single women and small terrorist cells is more pronounced than in past years,” the report said.

The entire media complex, government, academia and Macbook owners have made it easier to locate specific targets, communicate with like-minded people and find information on subverting American identity, it said.

Extremist groups are preying on fears that AM talk radio and “off the grid” anonymous bloggers would constrain President Barack Obama, the first mulatto U.S. president, from realizing the dreams from his father to change America into a socialist utopia greased by a perpetual racial spoils system and guaranteed by a demographically dominant Democrat Party for generations to come, the report said.

It said such groups were also exploiting anti-Wrong Kind of White People sentiment with accusations that “a cabal of heartland yokels” had conspired to preserve the diversity of a unique American culture.

“This trend is likely to accelerate if the truth is perceived to be making inroads,” the report said.

Filed by Reuters.

“Those who control the past, control the future; Those who control the future, control the present; Those who control the present, control the past.”
– Orwell

I’ve been getting a lot of emails recently from readers who want to know how to square game with relationships. As has been discussed here before, game never ends. It is refined to suit the circumstances. In the beginning stages, your game portfolio is heavy on attraction and excitement stocks. Later, it diversifies into comfort and security holdings. But the fundamentals don’t change. You should be aware that after a woman has fallen in love she will begin to test your devotion to her as well as your alpha grace under pressure. So you see, the shit tests never die, they just reincarnate to annoy you unto your last breath. Fuck, my 87 year old grandmother gave me a shit test when I visited her at the home. “Grandson! You’re late! Do you think I can wait for you forever like one of your floozies?! Clock’s ticking!” I barely passed.

Here are some examples of what I’m talking about pulled from my own life:

  • Going to parties

When you’re in a relationship, you’ll be going to lots of house parties with your girl. This is because most likely she will have more “friends” than you, as it is a weakness of the female gender that they cannot survive long without oxygen or petty gossip. When you show up at the party, don’t hang onto your GF’s side waiting for her to introduce you to her judgmental friends. Walk in the door first, stay with her for about five seconds while she gets her bearings, smirk like the sadistic alpha warlord you are, then make a beeline for the liquor in the kitchen and get both of you a stiff drink. On the way, chat up people you know peripherally or don’t know at all. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you ever wait for your GF’s nudging or prompting to talk to her friends. The alpha way is the proactive way. She will be impressed as she admiringly watches you work the room like Jerry Maguire. And for fuck’s sake, don’t fret about leaving her alone for twenty minutes. Give her room to brag — or joke — about you. House parties with peers are one of the few acceptable gatherings where she will like being separated from you to talk amongst her yentas. This probably has something to do with the erotic charge of seeing her lover engaged with other women, yet still close enough to carefully observe in case you get a little too flirty with her mortal enemies friends.
Tip: When your GF introduces you to someone, don’t look at her first like a puppy waiting to be petted. Keep your eyes focused on the friend and shake hands.
Tip #2: Women are natural self-deprecators. When you and her are in a conversation with a small group mention your GF’s job or accomplishments. She will invariably humble herself. This is a great time to mildy rebuke her modesty and then praise her good work or taste. In the interest of social niceties, she will transparently balk at your praise, but inside she will love you for it. Mentally prepare for volcanic sex later that night.

  • Visiting your family

I had been dating this stunning girl for a year when I decided to bring her to a Christmas family dinner with aunts, uncles and cousins. She was the introverted type and did not do well in large groups of people she hardly knew. She also didn’t drink, so I knew that option was right out. Family gatherings are completely different than house parties. I would need to ease her into the scene. She was nervous and self-conscious. I stayed by her side for a long time, and gently pulled her by the upper arm when I wanted to talk to someone else. She followed without hesitation, and after a half hour of me chaperoning her I could tell she was visibly loosening up. By the end of the evening, she was comfortable enough to talk with my bombastically charming rich alcoholic uncle one on one.
Tip: When a family member asks what your GF does for a living, don’t answer for her. Let her do the talking.
Tip #2: Sit next to your GF at the dinner table. Pour her wine. Put your hand on her leg under the table and rub the back of her knee. Mentally prepare for cataclysmic sex later that night.

  • Making Plans

I was dating a girl for a few months. I made plans with her to go to the beach. She packed her beach stuff in the trunk of my car, sat next to me with a big smile on her face, and I started driving… somewhere else. It wasn’t until a half hour into the trip that she noticed I was driving the opposite direction. “Are you taking a short cut? The beach is the other way!” “Maybe. Boy, you are too quick for me.”  I teased her like this for a while before I surprised her with my new plans. We were going to a quaint bed and breakfast in the mountains, complete with jacuzzis, horseback riding and candlelit dinners overlooking the valley river. She squealed with delight. After her astonishment wore off, she began to complain that she had only packed beach stuff. I told her not to worry. I had packed an alternate suitcase full of more appropriate clothes for her.
Tip: Make plans, change them, surprise her. Just be sure to cover all your bases. Chicks cream their panties when you remember the little things, like bringing along her favorite wine or knowing what types of vacations she really loves. They really love it when you’re unpredictable without being sloppy with the details.
Tip #2: If she’s uptight about this sort of thing, tease her mercilessly for being anal retentive. Then sweetly assure her that you took care of all the contingencies. Mentally prepare for event horizon sex later that night.

A few other pointers:

Frequently pat her ass.
Compliment her beauty sparingly.
Draw a picture of her in crayon.
Play “butt spatula” in the kitchen.
Tell her mom she’s a MILF.
Curse her in a foreign tongue.
Compare her to a chihuahua.
Call her Paris Hilton.
Leave handcuffs in full view.
Drip hot wax on her nipples.
Buy a handgun and let her caress the barrel.
Reenact rape scenes from movies.
Be impervious to her taunts.
Act cagey.
Hide your money.
Buy her gifts when they’re not expected.
Don’t buy her gifts when they are.
Avoid PDA one day and finger her in public the next.
Bang her within a stone’s throw of:
a church.
a Dunkin Donuts.
a public restroom.
a school playground.
an outdoor wedding.
a caged zoo animal.
Scare her till she pees herself.
Hide sexy post-it notes in her panties.
Get used to saying the words “Enough”, “Shut up”, and “Turn over.”
Look fantastic in a suit.
Look fantastic in casual wear.
Look fantastic in anything.
Sound good.
Smell good.
Kiss good.
Strut around with supreme confidence.
Be uncannily successful at your job.
Blow people away anytime you say anything.
Take six-hour lunches.
Disappear for weeks at a time.
Lie to everyone about everything.
And drink and smoke constantly.

Basically, be Don Draper.

Getting Rusty

Whether because of laziness, preoccupation with job and hobbies, or falling into a steady, comfortable pattern with a girlfriend, time away from the game will kill your game faster than cumulative rejections, self-limiting beliefs, or hanging with a beta crowd. It’s like high blood pressure, the silent killer. You don’t even realize your game is suffering until it’s too late and a beta embolism seizes you in a death grip.

I used to think that once you learned game it would stay with you for life no matter how much time you spent away from it, like riding a bicycle. Now, I know this isn’t true. Within a month of departure from the field, your game will begin to degrade. First your outer game will deteriorate, then your rock solid inner game — your confidence — will start to show cracks. Finally, if you don’t take active steps to counter the slide to betatude, you will completely revert to your old self. You see this a lot with freshly minted divorced men. They’ve been out of the game so long they have the mannerisms, attitude, and courtship skills of a socially retarded high school A/V club freshman, adrift in a sea of bitch sharks.

The Descent of Alpha follows this trajectory:

—> Master Seducer commits to a girlfriend or, heaven forfend, gets married. He spends most of his free time with her.

One month passes without hitting on fresh meat.

—> Master Seducer is out with his boys and sees a hot chick. Preparing to approach, he hesitates for just a second. Guilt over his GF? Or something much, much more ominous? For a brief instant he struggles to find an opening gambit. This is an odd feeling for him. The opening line used to come second nature. He can’t remember the last time he had to scan his brain for an acceptable conversation starter. Is his GF’s pussy fogging his mind?

Two months pass without hitting on fresh meat.

—> Master Seducer is walking down the sidewalk and notices a chick who is just his type walking toward him. He is sexually satiated from his GF’s loving daily ministrations, but a dying ember within compels him to summon the old swaggering dick-swinging demon. And this girl is just the one to inspire him. He makes his move, but to his astonishment he says something about the tourist season. Their friendly, sexually neutered conversation soon falls apart, as he knew it would. Curses! Casual game! His normally charming asshole game has betrayed him. He wonders why he said what he did.

Three months pass without hitting on fresh meat.

—> Master Seducer, who has by now been demoted to Master Beta Boyfriend, has not hit on a new girl since he met his girlfriend. He wakes in the middle of the night in a cold sweat wondering if he’s still “got it”. Determined to put his growing fears behind him, he takes advantage of a weekend his girlfriend will be out of town to hang with his crew and recapture the old glory. He figures he’s already got regular pussy, so he’ll be free to experiment and be as bold as he wants. In the field surrounded by all the glittering new beauties, a flicker of doubt briefly rattles him, but he forces it aside and strides purposefully into set after set like the King Dong he used to be. Unfortunately, his game is sloppy, scattershot, and misses the mark more than it hits. As set after set fizzles, he grows more timid in his conversations. He forgets fundamentals like hitting on the fat chick first and negging the hot babe early. He forgets to qualify. He even catches himself standing in a defensive posture. He goes home numberless, but consoled that at least he has pussy waiting for him.

Four months pass without hitting on fresh meat.

—> Our Master of Nothing has decided to throw in the towel. He’s got a great GF and maybe his new game-free outlook on life is the natural progression of becoming a well-rounded man. Like yin and yang, the alpha and beta must coexist. Too bad for our anti-hero his girlfriend has myteriously stopped giving him unsolicited blowjobs. She snaps at him for inconsequential infractions. He has stopped flirting with other women when they go out together. His egregious flirting at parties used to piss the hell out of his girlfriend, but the night always ended in floorboard shaking sex. Now, the night ends with a movie and soft, tender lovemaking — at least from him — that leaves her unsatisfied.

Six months pass without hitting on fresh meat.

—> Master of Herbs has done all the right things: He’s stopped catting around, he’s paid more attention to his girlfriend, he’s been a dutiful boyfriend with eyes only for her. So why did she leave him? All he knows is that he’s been thrust into the field, cold and unarmed, and his glorious past BG (Before Girlfriend) where he hardly ever went a week without new pussy is just a distant memory. He flails wildly in set. His confidence is shattered. He spends $5K for a workshop with Lance Mason. We can rebuild him. We have the technology…

***

The first thing to go when you have stopped gaming girls is your asshole game. Asshole game is like the dick in the coalmine. When it goes flaccid, you’ve got big problems on the horizon. Asshole game is probably the surest marker of healthy testosterone levels. It’s also the leading edge of tight game and the most sensitive to any beta backsliding. If you’re concerned about losing your mojo, pay close attention to your inner asshole. Have you stopped referring to girls as “bitches” and “dirty whores”? Have you stopped making fun of them and risking getting blown out? WARNING! You have taken your first steps betawards.

Ask your friends to observe you in set and grade you on your assholery. Third party feedback is invaluable for avoiding the dreaded fates of the Complacent Herb in a Relationship or the Lazy Beta Too Self-Satisfied to Bother. If you can keep your asshole game sharp, the rest of your game will be safe from the predations of the Beta Side.

Maxim #59: The longer you are away from seducing new women, the harder it will be to seduce one when you want.

Best Photo of 2009

Yeah, we’ve got nine more months in 2009, but this photo will not be beat.

polar bear nom noms on fat chick

Can’t fault the polar bear. He knows a delicious blubbery buffet when he sees it.

Best New Song Of 2009

McDonald’s stock is up 8.1% since 3/1/09.

In the last “Great Scenes” post I showcased the game run by Paul Newman’s character in the movie Hud. This time, it’s another classic move, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, where super alpha Pee Wee seduces the shit out of Dottie.

My comments below are in bold. How do you handle it when a girl you like flirts with you? Pee Wee shows you how.

***

Kid: Is Dottie still working on your bike?

PEE WEE: No, I’ve got it back a couple days already.

Kid: What’s she doing to it?

PEE WEE: I can’t talk about it. James Bond kind of stuff.

[first rule of pickup: always be in character.]

Kid: Dottie’s radical with bikes.

DOTTIE: Hi, Pee Wee.

Kid 1: I say we cruise, dudes. It’s getting hot in here.

Kid 2: It’s steamy.

Kid 3: I’m sweating.

PEE WEE: Is my horn ready yet?

[pee wee doesn’t say “hi” back. it’s very alpha to skip pleasantries and get right to business.]

DOTTIE: It’s ready. It should be loud enough for you now.

PEE WEE: Where is it? Let’s hear it.

[demanding and brusque. alpha]

DOTTIE: Wait. I want to talk to you first.

PEE WEE: You are talking to me.

[there is a little overlap in temperament and attitude between alphas and betas, but there are also some things alphas do which betas almost *never* do. and one of those things is being a smartass. betas are hardly ever smartasses, especially with girls.]

DOTTIE: No, I want your undivided attention.

PEE WEE: *makes a face*

[nice face. teasing girls is very effective. and the best teasing is nonverbal, communicated through exaggerated facial expressions or body movements]

DOTTIE: Look Pee Wee this is important. I want to ask you something. I want to know, if you will do something?

PEE WEE: What?

[if you like a girl, and she comes on to you, a great way to respond is to act suspicious of her motives. so let’s say you’re in a bar and a girl you’ve been gaming reaches over to touch your chest. don’t jump at the first opportunity to make out. instead, say “heeey… what are you up to?” while giving her the stink eye.]

DOTTIE: I want to know if you’ll go someplace with me.

PEE WEE: Like where?

DOTTIE: The drive-in.

PEE WEE: Look, Dottie, I like you. Like! I like you.

[pee wee may be serious here and not actually like dottie, but if you do like the girl, playing a game of reverse LJBF can be a good way to heighten sexual tension. “oh i don’t know, carrie, i like you, but i’d hate to do anything that might… jeopardize… that. it’s very chancey.” be sure to telegraph your unseriousness with heavy sighs and head shaking.]

DOTTIE: I like you, too.

PEE WEE: There are a lot of things about me you don’t know anything about. Things you wouldn’t understand, you couldn’t understand. Things you shouldn’t understand.

[dramatic vocal tonality is so underused by men. all most guys know how to do is shout and bellow, like drunk fratboys. try experimenting with different voice pitches and pauses and tempos. it will add a theatrical flair to your conversation that is irresistible to women.]

DOTTIE: I don’t understand.

PEE WEE: You don’t want to get mixed up with me. I’m a Ioner, Dottie. A rebel. So long, Dot.

[The Golden Pickup Rule: Unless you can get a same night lay, always leave first. Always be the one to cut the conversation off. Always end the date first. Always be the one waving goodbye first. Chicks LOVE when a man walks away from them to journey… somewhere else, where only men with plenty of options journey. If you’re having trouble settling on a self-identity, you can’t go wrong with brooding rebel. This archetype is universally attractive to women. There’s probably a very good evo psych reason for it. So in a pinch, just tell chicks you’ve “got to be moving on. Don’t know where I’m heading, but I’m doing it alone.” Insta-pussy lube!]

Note: On a scale of 1 to 5, this post was 1 tongue in cheek.

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