I Reveal Myself

Don’t assume I’m easy just because I like to wear full body spandex.

A Real-Life Example Of Beta Texting

I once wrote a post advising you to never send archiveable communication to a girl that you would be ashamed of if it were publicly broadcast:

If [your texts and emails] were given a public airing, let’s say on a blog or the Verizon Center jumbotron, you should feel comfortable with what you have written for the world to see.  You should not feel an urge to wince, because it will be clear to everyone reading it how alpha you are.  If the thought of someone other than you and your girl reading your permanently archived romantic exchanges makes you cringe with embarrassment, then you are doing something wrong that will eventually lead to your girl dumping you.

A female reader [name withheld] emailed me the following text exchange she had with a guy she met recently. She wanted me to post it as learning aid for betas everywhere on what NOT to do. Her sad, sorry tale of woe demonstrates why my rule of thumb — don’t write a girl anything that would humiliate you if publicly aired — is important: You give yourself a chance with the girl, and you don’t get ass raped on a public forum such as my blog.

Please help the betas of the world understand why I don’t want to talk to this guy I met a few weeks ago, who I had the following convo with via txt:

9/25 1:33PM
Him:  Are we still hangin 2moro

9/25 1:57PM
Me:  Hey…actually I’m headed back to Portland this weekend.  My parents just decided to move to Seattle next month so I have to help them pack.  Have a great weekend though

9/25 1:58PM
Him:  Damn harsh blow off! Thought u had people comin!

9/29 1:35PM
Him: Hey

*Note: He called me within one hour of this text.  I didn’t answer or call back.

9/30 2:20PM
Him: What’s up

9/30 2:36PM (Apparently he wasn’t getting the picture…so I responded)
Me: Nothing much

9/30 2:37PM
Him: How is work?

9/30 2:45PM
Me:  Oh alright.  Pretty busy right now though…can I send you a text later?

9/30 2:58PM
Him: Yea go for it hopefully we can meet up this wknd

10/1 9:27PM
Him: Do you have plans fri?

10/2 9:13AM
Me: Um…yeah.  I have a date with a guy I’ve been seeing for a couple weeks.  Sorry.  – This was a lie

10/2 9:23AM
Him: I see, I see well let me know when you’re free and we can work sumthin out

10/4 8:05PM
Him: Hello

If this guy is reading, I can almost feel the burn of his embarrassment. Let’s quickly itemize where he blew up the rails of the beta train.

1. Right off the bat he asked her a question. Weak and needy. A better text: “I’ll see you tomorrow”.
2. Infantile texting grammar. “2moro”? Leave the cutesie misspellings, shorthand, and emoticons to the girls. You are a man in control of the English language who calmly writes coherent, manly sentences.
3. “Damn harsh blow off”? Never assume the rejection. And especially never announce it to her.
4. Four days later: “Hey”. She didn’t respond to you four days ago. It’s not going anywhere. A few days incommunicado won’t make her horny for you. Delete her number or continue down your path of self-administered slow-mo castration.
5. 9/30: “What’s up”. You’ve crossed into farce.
6. 9/30: “Nothing much”. Now here is where my reader fucked up. Either continue ignoring him, block his number, or forcefully tell him off so he gets the idea. What she’s done here is give him an excuse to carry on haranguing her. I suspect she may have done this because she secretly enjoyed the negative attention. Some girls are like that.
7. “How is work?” It was over by the first text, but as a helpful tip you should never ask lame, rapport-forcing questions like this.
8. “Oh alright.  Pretty busy right now though…can I send you a text later?”. Wtf is this!? Hey, babe, if you don’t like a guy the response is simple: “Stop texting me. I don’t like you.” Are you an attention whore who likes to string losers along? If so, you get no sympathy from me. In fact, I hope the next guy you really like does the same to you. Karmic justice and all that.
9. “Yea go for it hopefully we can meet up this wknd”. Hook, line and sinker. Try some self-control next time, Needy McNumbnuts.
10. Two days later: “Do you have plans fri?” I quote Ronin: “Where there’s doubt, there’s no doubt.”
11. “Um…yeah.  I have a date with a guy I’ve been seeing for a couple weeks.” This is what my reader should have sent him right after his first text. Did she toy with his hopeful eagerness so she could supply her true love with material for a blog post? Nyyaaaaahhhh… could be!
12. “Hello”. I hope you’re 14. If you’re a full grown adult, you will die a virgin.

Well, I hope that was as painful for my readers as it was for me. It will have been worth it if I saved even one beta from serving as scathingly contemptuous giggle fodder at the next girls’ night in.

A Test Of Your Game

The last time I challenged my readers to demonstrate their game skills in a hypothetical pickup situation, many commenters stepped up and offered excellent suggestions that I deemed would have led to some success with the coffeehouse girl. It’s time for another challenge. The scenario I’m about to describe is unique and one you’re not likely to encounter, but a veteran player has to be prepared for any eventuality. The best players have so fully absorbed the lessons of experience that they are able to think on their feet and surpass any obstacle.

 

Scene: You’ve met a girl in a mid-scale bar/club, it’s almost closing time, and the two of you are chatting together at the bar without interruption. You haven’t kissed or number closed her, but the vibe has been good.

You: They’re kicking us out. Come on, I’ll walk you part of the way home. It’s a zoo out there at this time of night.

Her: Ok. [she follows you out]

You: [grabbing her hand and winding through the masses of people on the sidewalk as she trails you] You live in the neighborhood?

Her: Yeah, I’m right up the street.

You: Wow, me too.

Her: Really? Where?

You: Just over by that Mexican restaurant. [pointing in that direction]

Her: Um, Ok, what street?

You: Why, are you gonna stalk me? I’ve had enough stalkers in my life, thank you.

Her: No, like, seriously, just tell me which street. [she giggles]

You: Ok, XXXX street.

Her: [getting excitable] What’s your address?

You: Ok, this is weird. You aren’t going to stalk me?

Her: No, I promise! What address!

You: XXXX XXXX street, XXXX building.

Her: Oh my god. I live in that same building! [you’re nearing your place]

You: You’ve gotta be kidding. So I guess I’ll walk you home all the way then. [you stop right in front of your place] So, um, you really live here?

Her: Ha ha! I live right next door to you! [she points at the door next to yours]

You: Unbelievable. Well, this is… different. [you have your keys out as you look at your door, then her door] How come I’ve never seen you around?

Her: I don’t know, maybe we have different work hours. I just moved here four months ago.

The two of you stand there a couple feet apart, smiling and glancing at each other. She seems a bit uncertain. The night has suddenly become very quiet. Remember, you haven’t kissed her nor have you gotten her phone number. (NOTE: She is tipsy, but not drunk, and sobering up fast.) Your brain races for what to say next, accessing every speck of knowledge you’ve acquired over the years gaming girls. The gauntlet is thrown, big guy…

What do you do?

Beta Halloween Costumes

You deserve to be the laughingstock of lesser omegas if you do the “couples costume” thing.

Here’s another example of utterly contemptible betatude.

The only acceptable couples costumes are Pimp/Ho combos (substitute Hugh Hefner for a dash of class), or this:

Note that the beta costume is not the same as the GAY costume. If you wear a gay costume people will assume you prefer manflesh. If you wear a beta costume, people will assume your woman is cheating on you.

Here is an example of a GAY costume, so you know the difference between BETA and GAY (sometimes it’s a fine line):

Beta costumes are often boringly conventional. Stay away from vampires and mobsters unless you can pull them off really well (i.e., you actually look like a mobster in real life). Silly costumes like giant beer cans or condoms are beta. The only people laughing will be other betas, and they’ll be laughing at you, not with you.

Reader Matt wrote in with the following suggestion:

My thought is that a well thought-out costume is alpha as long as it’s understated. Oversized, obnoxiously fancy costumes are beta because they appear to be compensating for a lack of personality as well as revealing that too much effort was put in to their creation.

This is decent advice, and understated elegance will usually beat overstated buffoonery. But I wouldn’t write off fancy costumes. If you can craft a fancy costume so that every part fits into a greater whole and it doesn’t look like you duct taped it together in your basement, you can attract a lot of the good kind of female attention. For instance, an ostentatiously bedecked African King would be a cool costume.

Another option is the politically incorrect costume. These will score points with rebellious chicks who just wanted Daddy to hug them.

Alpha costumes meet one or more of the following criteria — they evoke mystery, danger, coolness, power, or violence. Practice your scowl and hit the weight room, and you can wear an alpha costume like this:

If you have a dog, you can boost your alpha score one whole point humiliating your pooch in this:

If you see these people around town on Halloween, there is a good chance it will be me.

My blade will be real. Plastic knock-offs are beta.

Generalizing Your Way Into Her Panties

Reader JB emailed me with a valuable observation about the effectiveness of using generalizations as a game tactic. He read my post “Dread” where I explain the best ways to train your girlfriend so that you maximize love output and minimize shit test incitement:

Ignore her calls for a week. When you eventually answer and she reads you the riot act, act as if nothing was wrong and accuse her of sabotaging a perfectly good relationship, “just like all the other women in this stupid city. I thought you were different”. Hang up on her angrily.

JB wrote:

When I read this I fucking almost spit up my mouthful of coffee. Funny because it’s true. Have you written anything about the powerful effect generalization has on the female psyche? I have used the ‘you’re just like every other girl in this city’ one and BANG!
No matter who the girl, no matter the age…she stops cold and finds herself waiting for what I’m going to say next.

Good stuff, keep it up.

Yes, it’s true. Throwing a generalization in the face of a girl you are gaming by accusing her of being “just like all the rest” is a powerful qualification tactic. It will send her into paroxysms of indignation and self-doubt as she works hard to regain your approval.

Maxim #33: NO girl wants to be thought she isn’t a special little snowflake.

Use this thermal exhaust port of female psychology to your advantage. But be careful how you deploy the generalization bomb — its mindfuck megatonnage can blow up chicks’ heads like scanners. There are two ways to laser-guide a generalization straight into the beaver bunker.

1. Exasperation. See the example above. Can be useful in pickup as well as relationship management — for instance, after she’s started acting up and attempted to find your soft underbelly. In pickup parlance, this would be during the M2F attraction phase. Watch as she spins her wheels trying to prove her uniqueness.
2. Reverse psychology. Right before you run a routine with her, like palm reading or astrological compatibility, tell her she’s probably like all the other girls in [insert city] and wouldn’t appreciate the deep and profound knowledge you are about to drop on her. If she says “What do you mean I’m like all the rest?!”, you reply “Tell me I’m wrong.”

I don’t just dispense advice, I explain *why* the advice works, stripping away the mystery and spirituality squid ink with the sandblaster of biomechanics, so you can see for yourself the predictability of the human attraction algorithm.

As I wrote in response to Clio in the comments section of this post:

here is what i think motivates the female will to believe that makeup is effective at hiding flaws from the precision guided instrument of men’s visual intake port:

the fear of the immutable.

if you’ll notice, women are the most outraged by the idea of evolutionary psychology and unchangeable genetic fate. that physical beauty should be so unalterable and at the same time so critical to a woman’s prospects for snagging an alpha male of her own sends shivers down her spine. if true, it means they cannot do much to improve their value on the open market. no educational attainment, no carreer success, no makeup, no exercise [to a point], no hob nobbing with the right people — nothing much matters but for the face they were given when mommy’s egg was fertilized by daddy’s swimmers.

yet, this is precisely how the sexual market works. and so, as the gears of the pretty lie machine clank and sputter to dispense more of its life-affirming self-delusions, the “social conditioning” brigade strikes out at the descending shroud of hopeless darkness.

Generalizations offend women in a way they do not offend men because they breach the perimeter ego defense and strike right at a woman’s core self-conception — her belief in herself as Princess On A Cloud Carried Aloft By Admiring Suitors. If it’s true that her genes account for nearly all her success or failure with the men she wants, then there isn’t much she can do to improve her chances to fulfill her deepest desires. If it’s true (and it is) that men value beauty above all else, then it is logically inescapable that she is, to an unsettling degree, interchangeable with any women who are at or above her level of physical attractiveness.

Women do not want to confront the unpleasant reality of upwardly immutable female sexual market value. (They can certainly go down in market value by bloating up or suffering a facial disfigurement.) Similarly, they do not want to admit they aren’t special. So they fight against it. They hide behind pretty little platitudes and try to correct your misperceptions to the contrary. Deep in the primitive ancestral part of her reptilian brain she fears, justifiably, that if she isn’t a unique creature in your eyes, you may be likely to leave her if a hotter woman blips your radar. FOR INNATE EVOLUTIONARILY MODULATED REASONS, SHE WANTS TO KNOW YOU SEE MORE IN HER THAN HER BEAUTY. You should leverage this female instinct to your benefit.

“So what else do you have going for you besides your beauty?”

If you are the one special suitor who wrings her princess cloud dry and sends her plummeting to earth with a well-timed generalization that belies her uniqueness, she will suddenly find, in violation of the courtship script she was so used to following, an inexplicable urge to seek *your* approval, and demonstrate for *you* how different she is from other women and how you just *have to* see that.

Then, my friend, you will be in the driver’s seat. Zoom zoom.

Sexbot Update

Getting closer.

THIS is the most life-like robot suit ever – the cyber girl Repliee R-1.

Based on a real five-year-old Japanese girl, this machine was built to look just like a human.

The technology isn’t there yet to overcome the uncanny valley, and many will scoff that this is a long way off from hot and good-to-go sexbots, but the vector trajectory is unmistakeable. The future is men fornicating with robot women that are hotter than the human women they can score, and this possibility is no longer in the realm of science fantasy.

I am not surprised the Japanese are leading the way on the sexbot revolution.

A Recession Will Mean Better Sex

The Dow is down 26% year to date. If a protracted and deep recession leads to the average woman cutting costs at the supermarket and steering clear of the high calorie packaged foodstuffs, it could mean more slender women and, consequently, better sex.

Hard times bring “hard” times.