Brush With Humanity

This short video was shot at a local German restaurant specializing in a delicious variety of sausages. The woman playing the piano struck me as incredibly ugly. Later, I discovered she was blind when a small child walked up and requested a song — she didn’t look at him but only cocked her ear in his direction and smiled. My lovely guests were emotionally moved.

Listen carefully to the video, particularly toward the end. You will hear her sing with a beautiful lilting voice. The incongruence reminded me of the power of contrast and pleasant surprises. You would do well to keep that lesson in mind in your interactions with women.

Sarah Palin’s Masculine Digit Ratio

I mentioned in the comments over at Half Sigma’s blog that if the rumors of Sarah Palin’s adultery were true it wouldn’t surprise me since she has a masculine jawline which suggests higher levels of testosterone than the average woman. More testosterone means more sexual impulsivity. Curious, I looked for a photo that would show her index finger to ring finger digit ratio. Here’s the clearest one I could find:

looking like a woman, feeling like a man.

The evidence is in — her right hand’s ring finger is considerably longer than her index finger. Sarah Palin was exposed to higher than normal amounts of testosterone in her mother’s womb. This would go a long way to explaining her love of non-metrosexual alpha men, caribou hunting, moose dressing, shooting, tattoos, having lots of sex, crushing her enemies, and her meteoric rise to the top of the manly world of Alaska politics. Bristol Palin probably inherited her mother’s strong libido.

Personally, I like Sarah Palin, mostly because her mere existence drives SWPLs crazy with hate. I wouldn’t be attracted to her as girlfriend material, though. I prefer my women sweet, girly and feminine, not hard-driving and bloodthirsty. I would be suspicious if a girl I was dating told me she liked hunting or wanted to run for public office.

PS: This will be my last post on Sarah Palin. She embodies a lot of modern cultural and psychosocial baggage which is why I’ve been writing about her. I won’t write much about politics until election day. Our prediction: Obama by fewer than 100,000 total votes. The red blue electoral map will look nearly identical to the previous two elections. Same old same old… for now. Reconquista!

Levi Johnston: Blockhead

I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall when the Palin family confronted Levi (pronounced like Levi Genes, or “When the Levee Condom Breaks”?) about his knocking up their young but sexually ripe daughter. Did Todd Palin threaten to have him ostracized from their Alaskan town, thereby dimming his job prospects there, if he didn’t act like he was ready to marry Bristol? Or even better did he stick a shotgun in his face? Did Sarah have dirt on the kid that could get him in trouble with the law? Did Bristol entice him with daily blowjobs if he promised to be her “steady”?

Or was Bristol the one dragging her feet? Rumor has it Sarah tried to coerce persuade Bristol to marry Levi once the pregnancy became known, but the girl would have none of it.

And was the A-word mentioned at all? When Bristol found out did she even contemplate getting an abortion? “Mama don’t preach, I’m in trouble deep… I’m ‘bortin’ my baaaabyyyy… yeah…” Did Sarah go all mommie dearest on her? “What did I say about abortion!? NO… WIRE… HANGERS!!!” Or did she read her a Bible quote followed by a tearful group family hug and that was that?

This guy Levi seems like a real stupido. I guess when your life is drinking, playing hockey, fucking shit up, and tagging famous ass, you don’t have mental room to remember to put on a condom. On the other hand, he may have assumed that a girl like Bristol, daughter of the governor, would never allow a pregnancy to go to full term. Big mistake. He should have vetted Sarah better before raw dogging Bristol.

I can tell you that at 18 if I accidentally impregnated some chick with the anti-christ I would first gently and compassionately ask her to get an abortion. If she refused, I would ask again, this time dropping the gentleness and compassion. Then I would remind her of the horrors that await single motherhood and the poor life prospects of her fatherless child, being sure to drive home in exquisite detail what jail life will be like for our son and how many loads of jizz our stripper daughter would swallow. If she still didn’t comply, I would transfer my assets to overseas banks and hightail it out of the country.

Man, if McCain/Palin win the election, the next four years will be very entertaining. The country’s already finished; may as well go out with a flourish.

Who Is Smarter?

Exhibit A:

Is it smarter to spend $20K on an engagement ring or just get your fiancee’s name tattooed on your ring finger?

tattoos are forever.

Exhibit B:

Is it smarter to get knocked up at 17 with many more years of fertility and tight vagina left, or spend $28K a month on fertility treatments at the age of 42 in hopes of giving your rich mother a long shot at one non-downs syndrome grandchild?

the touching end of a genetic line.

one and counting...

Maybe these lower middle class proles aren’t as dumb as yuppie ironic hipster SWPLs believe. Levi saves $20K by not supporting the diamond cartel and can probably scrounge up enough money working the oil fields to buy a starter home in the wide open spaces of Alaska for his new family before he hits drinking age. He could glorify his genetic heritage with ten more kids by the time Bristol reaches 30, still looking good.

Meantime, Martha Stewart’s haggard 42 year old divorced upper class careerist daughter cries herself to sleep at night in the gravity boots hoping the intracytoplasmic sperm injection will find a garbage egg still clinging to usefulness and insert itself in romantic union. She probably haughtily scoffed at Bristol’s teen pregnancy and “low class” lifestyle.

Ask yourselves — who is really smarter? Whose lifestyle would you prefer? When you wake up in the middle of the night, divorced, childless, with nothing but memories of your wild sexcapades, your Pier 1 furnishings, and your color-coordinated cat to keep you company, and you feel a chill go down your spine and the hair rise on the back of your neck not knowing why, ask yourself my leetle questions once again and see if maybe… just maybe…
you had it all wrong.

Hope Announces She Will Not Be A Cat Lady

Hope has just delivered some semi-big news:

Not one to be Sarah Palining this and hiding it…

I just got a positive reading on my home pregnancy test.

If everything goes well, a great alpha name for the kid is Poonhound. It is the name of the beast. 😈

If it’s a girl, try Trinity.

Sarah Palin’s Biggest Advantage

I wrote the following in my DC Truths Day post:

People will only turn against an alpha male when he attacks a weak woman.

This is Sarah Palin’s anti-missile defense shield. She isn’t weak, but she will be perceived as worthier of protection than her alpha male opponents. Her attractiveness, earthiness, motherhood, and gender means she will be almost impenetrable (heh) to frontal attacks, while affording her the latitude to fire at will. My advice to the Obama team: Stick to policy differences (creationism in schools??) and keep it above board. Call off your proxy attack dogs digging for family dirt, true or not. Going toe-to-toe with McCain-Palin on the personal biography and class angle will get you creamed. Palin simply neutralizes Obama’s best assets and the left knows it, hence their apoplexy this week. The froo froo crowd and Dan Savage readers will eat it up if you go for the jugular, but working class democrats will turn away in droves. Ignore the Kossacks and don’t give in to the tempation to slander and further aggravate the red state-blue state divide.

Oh, and forget about attempting to box McCain in as a Bush lapdog. With the freshness of Palin, he’s effectively cut off that avenue of attack. Instead, try to tar McCain with the fundie brush by connecting him with whatever extreme social views Palin holds. Ahh, this all sounds so familiar…

Megan McArdle wrote this on Sarah Palin:

As a person I like her.  Politically, I dislike what she represents:  populism, culture warmongering, and especially, the notion that if a woman is to hold power, she has to make herself non-threatening by emphasizing her domesticity and fertility.  I don’t blame her for doing these things, since they seem to work. But I don’t like living in a society where this works.

Megan, I’ve got news for you. There is no society where this doesn’t work. Check your libertarian fantasies at the door because the frontline of human nature – and innate sex differences – is everywhere.

I Missed This

I missed this comment David Alexander wrote Saturday night:

Hey, no fair. Tonight, I’m seeing a girl!

Stop the presses! I… and my readers I’m sure… would like to know how your date went.