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Black Cat

Unless you’re a member in good standing with one of the three main cliques that call this dump home, forget about it. Insular, pretentious, haughty little fucks that are the mirror image of the douchey Late Night Shots crowd act as the designated in-group gatekeepers. Watch out for androgynous betaboys knocking over drinks with their ubiquitous satchels, and heavily made up punkrock girls asking for blow or change for the cigarette machine. If you’re not a scenester or haven’t banged at least one chick from each clique, don’t expect to hook up here. The guys are limpdicked betas but they’re scattered everywhere, like fey hipster pylons blocking you off from the pussy with their feeble perimeter defenses. The girls have perfected the art of the wary sidelong glance and righteous sneer. But hey, they’re cute, so if you like getting aloof attitude from cute chicks this is your venue.

Bedrock Billiards

Dive bar, local hangout, hip lounge-y vibe. Sounds great on paper but the reality is quite different. Go there almost any night of the week and you’ll have to weave through ten guys before finding a girl. Bedrock proves the rule that it’s Ratio Uber Alles. A bad ratio can deep six an otherwise glorious bar. This is a great place to bring a date, not find a date.

Sequoia

Georgetown waterfront
12 dollar beers
gee, another blueblood cunt
I envy the queers

Tom Tom

great to be a girl here.

great to be a girl here.

Lima

A pomade, eurotrash, expensive watered down drinks, eardrum bleeding club music grenade just exploded. Why are you taking shrapnel? Bonus: When the dry ice smoke nozzles go off right above your head the noise is so piercingly loud it will cockblock you.

Local 16

This is the Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde bar. Before midnight – pickup heaven. After midnight – sucks. Would you like to fuck the law in practice as well as in revolutionary spirit? This place is for you — it’s overrun with lawyer chicks. It’s also overrun with aspiring pickup artists roaming the premises like horny jackals. Lawyers. PUAs. It’s almost poetic. Safety tip: The roof deck becomes unnavigable later in the night. If there’s a fire and you’re caught in the middle of that clusterfuck, you’re dead.

Tryst

Tryst has done the impossible — a bar/coffeehouse filled to the brim with cute chicks who are totally unapproachable thanks to its maze-like seating arrangement. There is no way to look cool walking up to a girl sitting on a couch a mile away and protected on her flanks by bustling servers and antique furniture set at inconvenient angles. The feng shui here is very anti-player. Tryst’s cloyingly hip website makes me VOM a lot outside my mouth.

Commenter LauraByNight wrote on yesterday’s post:

This seems to suggest that a good strategy for finding quality girls is to avoid looking in bars and clubs, and maybe to avoid spending most of your time in places full of high-powered, high-strung women. I realize that this could be difficult for some men, depending on their jobs.

It also suggests that the old-fashioned idea of meeting potential mates through family and friends, or in school or at work (rather than a place where most people are hoping to find someone to fuck) would yield a higher return rate.

I hear this assertion all the time from those who believe that quality girls can’t be found in bars — “Oh, well of course if you go to a bar you’ll only find bar whores, what did you expect?”. The time has come for yer not-so-humble narrator to grind this idiotic meme into dust.

Here is a representative sample of the occupations of ten girls I met in bars:

Lawyer
Med student
PR flack
Pharmaceutical saleswoman
Smithsonian curator
Art gallery owner
Bartender (different bar)
Marketing
Teacher
Waitress/student

Here is a representative sample of the education levels of ten girls I met in bars:

Ivy league (2, including one Harvard grad)
Seven Sisters (1)
State school (3)
Grad school (3)
Never went to college (1)

Here is my informal judgement of the IQs of the last ten girls I met in bars:

150 (1, she was weird)
130-150 (1)
115-130 (2)
100-115 (5)
under 100 (1)

Here is a representative sample of the dress style of ten girls I met in bars:

Conservatively dressed (5)
Sexily dressed (4)
Sluttily dressed (1)

If it isn’t yet obvious to the “bar girls are low quality” brigade let me spell it out for you: Girls who go to bars are the same as girls you meet anywhere else. They are not an exotic subspecies of womanhood. I understand the impulse of the Loser Mafia to want to disparage girls who are confident enough to go to bars and scoop up tons of male attention, but the facts don’t bear out the comforting belief. That classy, smartly attired girl with her pink Ipod who’s picking through the organic bean sprouts at Whole Foods is the same girl who was at the bar last night hitting up chumps for free drinks.

Think about it — if you were an attractive girl why wouldn’t you go to a bar while you’ve still got it? You’d be negligent not to. A girls’s urge to feed her ego and take the measure of her sexual market value is intense, and bars are perfectly suited for maximum assuaging and feedback. Where else can she command the attention of so many men in such a short amount of time and limited space? (Tip: this is why you should never consider a bartender for a long term relationship. Any girl who chooses to go into bartending is a Ninth Order Attention Whore who needs hours upon hours of male flirtations and social stimulation just to feel human.)

But there are girls who insist they never go to bars. I believe them. These are the kinds of girls you will rarely find in a bar at night when the mating bazaar is wide open for business:

Fat chicks (usually not more than 10%)
Over 30 women
Ugly chicks

Fat and ugly chicks don’t need their fragile egos pummeled any more than they already are by exposing themselves to the hormonally heated competitive environment of a bar. If you are a fatty fucker you don’t need to go to bars; just step outside and walk the earth. If you’re a freak who likes ugly chicks, trawl Craigslist W4M. Fucking horror show.

Over 30 women are either married and off the market or unwilling to go pert breasts-to-sagging breasts with the younger competition. I don’t blame them. It’s easier to maintain an illusion of desirability if you never leave the house.

Attractive single girls who, for reasons of principle, heavy work schedule, or visceral dislike of the scene, never go to bars are a tiny subset of the total number of attractive girls. But just because they loathe bars to the point of active avoidance does not automatically impart them with a glowing halo. They just get their attention fix through other means, like, oh, to pick an example completely at random, blogs.

Attractive girls who are in happy, committed relationships are often the biggest propagators of the “bars suck” meme, because in their lovestruck haze they have forgotten just how many nights they used to go out to bars. Their opinion is of no use to any man trying to figure out where to meet women.

I once did the smart, enlightened thing and dated a “quality girl” I met at a painting class I had signed up for. While we were dating, I bumped into her at my favorite bar at 1AM, drinking with her friends.

Only suckers throw away their time and money chasing the elusive “quality girl” through events, classes, or expensive but socially approved status-whoring hobbies. Bars are free.

Quality Girl

I’m often asked “What do you consider a quality girl?” This is a good question, if by quality we mean a girl I’d be willing to date long term (>3 months), to invest more than the minimal amount of my time and energy, and to feel secure, if I were so inclined, in committing myself exclusively without worry that she might spread her legs for any random guy who happens to catch her alone on an especially drunken night and says the right things about how good her forehead looks in the reflection of the beer bottle.

Very few… and I mean VERY few… women in DC have met my exacting standards of quality. I’d estimate that of all the girls I’ve dated in this city less than 10% were worthy of my full attention. I’d hazard to guess that if all men held themselves to the same high standards I do and didn’t kowtow to the first chick who deigned to bless them with a crumb of affection there’d be universal agreement among DC men that my 10% figure is accurate. Maybe in flyover country the number of quality girls hits 25%. In Poland it is 80%. The times have changed and quality girls are no longer the norm.

So what makes a quality girl? Well, I know what *doesn’t* make a quality girl.

  • She has cheated more than three times in her life, or has cheated more than once on the same boyfriend.
  • She forgets to say “thank you” when you buy her a drink. Buying her a second drink confirms her ingratitude.
  • She dates around. Dating around — specifically, seeing more than one person concurrently — is a prerogative of men only, for reasons having to do with the greater leverage men need to arm themselves with to compete in a dating market that is fundamentally tilted in favor of women. Any girl who makes a habit of dating more than one guy at a time, especially if the parallel dating lasts longer than one month, in order to milk her options is a bad seed. In all my years of banging, one soulsaving thing I’ve learned is to walk away from any girl who I’ve discovered is also dating other men. Even if I beat the competition and win her over, it never ends well.
  • She tells you she has a long distance boyfriend she loves, then proceeds to bang you anyway. A few months later, you see her groping a new guy, and she’s still with her boyfriend. (That relationship is doomed.)
  • Her default mode is sarcasm, negativity, coarseness, and shamelessness.
  • She spends twice as much time getting ready for a house party than she spends getting ready for a date with you.
  • She can’t control her impulse to flirt with other men. Double minus points if she does this in your presence.
  • She doesn’t seem nervous undressing in front of you the first time.
  • She fucks you on a pretense of less than the sum total of an hour of conversation, and calls you the next day worried that your condomless sex might have given her something. (She’s been down this road before.)
  • She is proud to be on the pill and considers her dependence on it a carte blanche slut sanctioner instead of a safety net affection fortifier.
  • She is cavalier about casual sex.

A quality girl does the opposite of all the above. She doesn’t cheat, and if she does she has a plausible rationale. But she will still feel bad about it. She is generous when it is risky to be so. She is positive and lifts people up, not pushes them down to lift herself up. She laughs at the absurdity and beauty of the world, but never at the expense of others. She is warm, and this is something that can’t be taught. She says “I love you” early and often out of conviction, not inquisition. She understands that her heart is more important than her pride.

A high quality girl is good for standing by, sticking with, supporting always, loving fully, defending righteously, and if the timing is right, embracing for life to the exclusion of all others. She is the type of girl who can enthrall you with her words alone. She can make you smile over the phone. She can be far away but feel near. She is often discovered in the unlikeliest places, and her magic is the energy that animates her pretty face, rather than the other way around.

Low quality girls are good for fucking, a few laughs, some funny digicam pics, and that’s it. Spare your hard-earned manly capital — your time, your resources, your protection, your commitment, your LOVE — for those few quality girls you might meet if you’re lucky. And speaking as a man who has seen, heard and experienced enough to turn the most naive optimist into a stone cold cynic, if you do meet a girl like that, you would be a fool to pass her up. Her kind is going extinct.

A Day With Zeets

Zeets on game:

Me: [while helping him set up a new TV I belch loudly] BEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLCCCCCHHHH.
Zeets: Was that a neg? [imitating me approaching some girls] Hi, I’m… BEEEELLLLCHHH… haha hey girls that was a neg! You like me now!

Zeets on long distance cockblocking:

Me: So there’s this girl who lives in another country who loves me. She told me a guy hit on her last night and she turned him down by telling him she had an internet lover.
Zeets: Wow, that guy must’ve felt like shit. Cockblocked from afar!
Me: Yeah, it’s one thing to get cockblocked by another guy in the bar, but to get cockblocked by an internet dude… humiliation!
Zeets: A girl who rejects someone by saying “No, I’m in love with a guy on the internet” is a lot worse than “I have a boyfriend.”
Me: It’s like saying “Your physical presence can’t even compete with an IM”.

Zeets on blogging:

Zeets: Everyone’s got their little blog now. Get up at 1 in the afternoon, trundle to the store to buy organic hipster meuslix, come back and blog about it. [makes exaggerated typing motion with his hands] Blog, blog, blog. Blogging piglets!

Zeets on the consumer culture:

Zeets: Help me carry out this TV. [we were leaving Best Buy with his new 1,000 inch LCD TV purchase]
Me: This is gaudy. You’re rolling out with the biggest package in the place.
Zeets: Notice how all eyes are turned towards me. The women are aroused by my display of materialism. [looks over at a middle-aged woman and winks] A big purchase will make you feel like a man and boost your testosterone major.

Zeets on herbs:

“I WANT TO CRUSH THEM ALL.”

Some Great Age Negs

If you routinely date younger women, this age neg works well to set an advantageous frame for yourself.

You: How old are you?

Her: 28.

You: Wow, I never would have guessed.

Let it drop after that. The neg is stuctured in such a way that if said with a straight face and raised eyebrows will make her wonder whether you would’ve guessed younger or older. If she persists in knowing what you meant, then ignore her and change the subject, or answer evasively.

Her: What do you mean??

You: I dunno. You just don’t… fit… your age. Btw, you ever see couples that don’t seem to fit right, but then they’re like the happiest couples in the world?

You really want to keep her confused about how she is being perceived by you. That is what builds intrigue, and intrigue is the rebar of female attraction.

Here are a couple more frame-setting age negs that work no matter what the age difference between you and the girl.

Her: How old are you?
You: You first.
Her: 25.
You: Oh oh.
Her: What?
You: I don’t normally date older women. They have too many issues in my experience.

This neg is especially effective when the girl is considerably younger than yourself. Imagine a 35 year old guy telling a 22 year old girl she’s too old for him. It quickly reverses the frame in your favor.

***

Her: How old are you?
You: Guess.
Her: 28.
You: Close. And you’re… 27.
Her: No, 23.
You: Oh no, really?
Her: Yeah, why?
You: I like to date older women. Everyone knows they’re more mature and classy.

Notice I used the term “everyone knows”. It’s a bit jarring in the context of this short conversation, but that doesn’t matter. Girls are very sensitive to groupthink, so my words will have the intended effect — to put her in the role of the one seeking approval.

If you like very feminine women (and what man doesn’t?), you’ll want to date girls who have gay relatives:

Andrea Camperio Ciani and colleagues at the University of Padua, Italy, showed that the female relatives of homosexual men tend to have more children, suggesting that genes on the X chromosome are responsible.

“It helps to answer a perplexing question – how can there be ‘gay genes’ given that gay sex doesn’t lead to procreation?” says Dean Hamer of the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Maryland, who was not involved in the work. “The answer is remarkably simple: the same gene that causes men to like men also causes women to like men, and as a result to have more children.”

Camperio Ciani emphasises that, rather than being a “gay gene”, this unidentified genetic factor is likely to promote sexual attraction to men in both men and women. This would influence a woman’s attitude rather than actually increasing her fertility, making her likely to have more children.

The girl’s attitude is key here. Femininity is not just curves, it’s temperament and personality. When I meet girls now I screen them for how many gay brothers and cousins they have:

“So this girl I used to date was telling me how great it is for her to have a gay brother, which is even better than a best gay boyfriend. Do you have any gay relatives?”

I believe screening for this in girls will mean a more romantic dating life, more affection from the girl, and fewer lawyers in my stable of regulars. In fact, I would bet any chick who is a lawyer has a lot of lesbian relatives.

*****

The downside of being President when people are watching: A girl offers you her ass and you have to politely decline:

Bush knuckled off a couple of lobs, but defending gold medalists Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh gave the chief executive some pointers. Then after a good play, in the tradition of female volleyballers, May-Treanor turned, bent over slightly and offered her bikinied rear-end for the 43rd president to slap.

“Mr. President,” she said, “want to?”

[…]Bush wisely chose instead to brush his hand across the small of May-Treanor’s back.

I’d have slapped, spread, and dry humped her. Of course, as President I’d set up a rendevous later in a secure location where she’d really get my approval for her good play.

I read the comments on some of the news sites to this story. Unsurprisingly to me, most of the negative comments were from women, who used it as an opportunity to bash Bush’s “perviness” and religious leanings. It’s funny how Bush is so unpopular with women, especially young women and feminists, when he did the “right thing” in this situation, and when by all accounts he’s a moral exemplar of the faithful, loyal (beta) husband. And yet a guy like Bill Clinton, who in practice shit all over feminist principles by sexually harassing interns, fucking subordinates, cheating on his wife multiple times, getting blowjobs from women considerably younger than himself, and even coming dangerously close to actual rape, is beloved by women and especially by the very same feminists whose phoniness and moral relativism Clinton showcased for the world. Beautiful. I trust the lesson has not escaped my readers.

bush to ass.

bush to ass.

*****

Here is a great line you can tell a girl during the A2 (female to male interest) attraction phase to boost your value:

“I could introduce you to every guy in this room, but I can guarantee that none of them will be as interesting as me.”

Concepts hit: DHV, social status, push-pull. It’s been field tested and proven successful, so give it a try and let me know how it goes.

Spot The Alpha

In this pic, try to identify who is more alpha:

alpha battle supreme

i'm banging a hot russian gymnast half my age. and you?

90% of alphaness is telegraphed through body language, eye contact, facial expression, nonverbal vocalization, and voice tonality. The actual words you say mean very little. For instance, if you laugh at your own jokes you are probably beta. Here we see two wary foes — both of them silverback apex alphas — testing boundaries and trying to establish ultimate dominance. Putin has pulled the “hand over hand” handshake alpha maneuver with a subtle condescending pat to the top of Bush’s hand like a grandmother might give to a precocious child, while Bush has opted for the arm-across-back shoulder clasping “claw” maneuver (something a taller man is well-equipped to do).

This photo is really a great showcase of what happens when two genuine alpha males lock horns and battle for supremacy. The interplay is subtle, but it’s there, make no mistake. At the highest levels, alphas don’t ball up their hands into fists and throw punches, they sublimate the cruder forms of chest thumping into the refined art of civilized court intrigue.

Their faces also tell a story. Bush is stifling an open-mouthed smirk, but his eyes betray unease. He looks like he’s forcing his will upon Putin with his slight lean-in. Putin’s half-lidded eyes and barely downturned mouth hint of haughtiness. Deep in his Commie bones he feels like the superior man to Bush, and this past week in Georgia he demonstrated it when he shoved that air of superiority into Bush’s face by proxy. Also, I notice Putin is standing straight, avoiding the lean-in, and keeping his torso turned less toward Bush and more toward the audience. In contrast, Bush’s body angle defers to Putin.

Whether either of these men’s confidence is warranted is irrelevant. Their strutting for the cameras is what matters.

ALPHA: Putin, by a red whisker. Bush’s “claw” is the most dominant singular gesture in this photo, but the sum total of alpha gestures favors Putin.

(*Note: When Bush said he “looked into [Putin’s] eyes and saw his soul”, many commentators at the time obliquely hinted that this was a beta move, but in fact it was alpha. A strong man can afford to say seemingly silly things like that because it potentially buttresses a larger strategic goal; namely, that of giving your enemy false comfort. Unfortunately, in Bush’s case, alpha doesn’t always equate to smart.)

***

In the previous photo, we examined alpha posturing between two unfriendlies. Now let’s look at a photo of two men who are on friendly terms:

friendship is no immunity from alpha posturing.

our women are hotter than your women.

You think dominance games cease between friends? Think again. Friendship is no immunity from alpha posturing.

The man on the left is a US representative who has just signed a draft missile shield deal with his Polish counterpart on the right. In their respective countries, I believe the Polish man would be higher up his government food chain than the US rep would be in ours, but because the US is a much more powerful country the playing field during this signing ceremony was effectively leveled. A lower ranking rep from a stronger country trumps a higher ranking rep from a weaker country, even on the weaker country’s turf, and especially when the stronger country is presenting an offer of protection.

To the analysis. Judging by the distance traversed, the Pole has extended his arm first to meet the American for a fully engaged handshake (this was a firm one based on the robust contact between their hands’ thumb and forefinger webbing). The Pole’s hand is in the American’s personal space, who keeps his elbow relaxed and close to his side. Usually, jumping the handshake gun and reaching into your recipient’s personal space signals an effort to establish dominance, and is the mark of the lesser alpha trying to gain street cred. But at the highest levels of social interaction the true alpha can afford to ease off and let the other male put in the work to meet his hand. That is what the American has done here. He knows he is the stronger presence — the “fulcrum” — and thus his alpha gravitational pull brings handshakes toward him.

Take heed: Depending on context and the betaness of your target, the handshake reach-in can be either a move for dominance or a signal of deference.

The Pole’s face is more expressive than the American’s. His smile is broader and his head leans forward slightly. Remember that the alpha male more often than not composes himself with indifference; his face is one of inscrutable impassivity, punctuated infrequently by minimalist gestures like raised eyebrows, chuckles, or cocky smirks. The “happier” of the two men is the one who is lower ranking. The Pole’s facial brightness reveals that he is more impressed with the proceedings. The American possesses the ennui of “been there done that”.

Finally, look at the positions of their opposite hands. It’s subtle, but the American holds his left hand down by his side, while the Pole keeps his in a “shielding” position in front of his crotch. Shielding body language, like arm-crossing and holding drinks chest-high, are self-protection maneuvers employed by betas. It’s the voice of the subconscious given sound through the physicality of the body.

Paradoxically, the body language of an alpha male in the company of lesser men is one of vulnerability. A true alpha has no fear of his environment and has complete control of events around him, and thus announces his elevated status by assuming nonverbal gestures and stances that could potentially make him more vulnerable to usurpers. This is why the seduction community focuses so strongly on what you do with your body before you even open your mouth. Pickup 101 is especially effective at teaching alpha body language skills. For example, when you stand, open your legs to shoulder width and prop your body weight onto one foot while pointing your other foot at a 60 degree angle outwards. This is a horrible position to stand in if someone decides to bum rush you, because you have handicapped your weight distribution, but it is the position to be in if you want other males and girls to know you are utterly unconcerned with incipient threats.

A man who can wave off worry with a look of relaxed aloofness and total situational command is very attractive to women, and confusing to would-be challengers. Defensive, bristly posturing is the mark of the greater beta attempting to punch above his weight. Always act as if you’re already seated on the throne, not as if you’re trying to dethrone someone who got there before you.

ALPHA: The American. (Note, too, how an alpha designation for a man hinges very little on his appearance. The Pole is taller and handsomer, but his body language tells the story.)

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