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Rock Band Audition

Do you dream of stardom as you sit at your desk planning yet another dull event for your corporate master? Does the adulation of five drunk bar patrons millions thrill you? The rock band that Roosh and I have started — Heavy Sack — is looking for a female singer. (Male singers are kindly asked to stay home and send their girlfriends and sisters instead.)

Technically, our band is part of the Rock Band video game, but that’s OK because from a distance our fake plastic instruments look real. And we have groupies. While we want a girl with some singing skills, don’t worry if your voice isn’t up to American Idol standards — the computer that measures the pitch of your voice is more forgiving than Simon Cowell.

The audition is this Tuesday night, 9PM at Reef. (They hold a Rock Band Night every Tuesday.) Cute emo chicks with sad eyes will be judged more favorably by me, at least.

pom poms optional
eligible
the judges are unimpressed
not eligible

Any agents who interfere too much with our selection process will be sweet-talked into submission by our band manager.

T-Shirt Contest

A reader suggested I sell game-inspired T-shirts on my blog through an affiliate program with cafepress. I like it. Here are some ideas my reader had:

alpha

no betas greekno betas

My ideas for the T-shirts would include personal favorite quotes from my posts, like these:

Nerd = Fat Woman
Hate is as natural as Love
Status Is Everything
Your sexual market value is overpriced.
Kitten at night, cougar in the morning.
I don’t give a shit what you do for a living.
Chick with dick = lawyer.
Celibacy = Metadeath.
Chicks dig power.
Guys dig beauty.
Marriage is a raw deal.

Or I could go hipster ironic:

I’m a beta.
I’m holding out for an alpha.
(for da ladies)
I’ll be your provider beta. (for da guys)
I fall for game. (also for da ladies)
My dating market value is greater omega.
Cuckold me. It’s in your genes.

Etc.

The floor is open.

Update: Arjewtino recommended a T-shirt wording contest. Winner receives a free T-shirt and recognition in a blog post. Imagine the fame!

Handicap Principle

A reader sent me this pic of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and wondered if it showed that Cruise is secretly a nancyboy beta:

signaling the mothership

signaling the mothership.

The average man could not get away with this obsequious lean-in. If the average man did this with his girlfriend in public men looking on would cringe and women would “AWW” with pity as their vaginas snapped shut. Later that night, the girlfriend of the average man who leaned in would find an excuse to not have sex with him.

Despite the lean-in and the jumping up and down on couches professing his love for Katie, Tom Cruise is a super alpha. He can afford to display the saccharine romantic lovey-dovey behavior of the daydreaming beta because he has extra alpha to spare. It’s why rock stars can sing about the most maudlin treacle, emoting to their hearts’ content about writing love letters for that one special girl who dances in the meadows, without incurring a hit to their sexual market value. In fact, beta signaling by an alpha will actually raise the alpha’s status, helping him avoid the pitfall of being tagged as “arrogant” by potential admirers.

Therefore, if you are a natural super alpha, some acceptable beta things you can do (or are likely already doing) to handicap yourself and paradoxically increase your value are:

  • Self-deprecating humor

Natural betas who self-deprecate too much are seen as weak and self-loathing. Natural alphas who self-deprecate are viewed as charming.

  • Buying girls drinks

A beta who is generous too soon will seem approval-seeking. An alpha who is generous will seem like an alpha who is generous.

  • PDA

Betas should really try hard to curb this urge. Alphas don’t have to worry about slobbering over their girlfriends once in a while, though they rarely do.

  • Poetry and mash notes

The closer you are to a natural super alpha, the more you can live your life like a Hollywood movie. This means writing poetry for your girl won’t cost you attractiveness points. If you are a beta, you should never pour your heart out in poems for your girl, unless she has gotten older or fatter. In those cases, she will receive your poem with more gratitude.

  • Crying

Dangerous! To be on the safe side, neither alphas nor betas should ever cry in front of their girlfriends, and preferably not in private either (it builds the right habits). But if the circumstances are favorable, and the alpha vibe is particularly strong, and his crying technique is solid, a man may shed a single tear. If all goes well, this act of vulnerability can make a girl’s heart explode with love. NOTE: If your pregnant tear has succeeded in eliciting sexually aroused emotions in your girl, DO NOT get greedy and attempt a second tear. The spell can be broken as quickly as it was cast, and you will go from sensitive strongman to weepy wuss instantly. Wait at least one year before unloading the powerful man tears again.

  • Complimenting other men

A beta should refrain from excessive flattery of his betters. In fact, the beta should try not to compliment other men at all, even when the compliment is deserved and the other man’s social cachet is obvious. It’s just too risky. People will presume the complimenting beta is a lickspittle as opposed to assuming the complimenting alpha is someone who is secure enough in himself to offer kind words to other men.

  • Lovemaking

Betas – don’t. You should stick to aggressive fucking and kinky sex. An alpha can mix it up with slow lovemaking without risking his status as the one “in charge” in the bedroom.

  • Porn

Betas should try and conceal their extensive porn collection from their women, because otherwise they will be pegged as loser pervs. Alphas don’t need to be so secretive about their porn. She’ll probably blame herself for not being enough for him and work twice as hard during sex.

Postscript: Where beta signaling works for alphas, alpha signaling works for betas. Alpha signaling is the heart of game.

Mono Game

Zeets the Throwback Barbarian told me about a situation he had with his date.

Zeets: So the date is going well…

Me: Some makeouts?

Zeets: We were about to kiss but then I stopped her and told her I had mono and I didn’t want her to catch it. I said it should only be one more week then we would kiss.

Me: How did she take it?

Zeets: Actually, I think it made her more attracted to me. Pushing her away mid-kiss turned her on.

Me: And mono is the kissing disease. She probably wondered how many women you kissed. Well played!

GAME PRINCIPLES ILLUSTRATED

  1. takeaway (interrupted the kiss)
  2. future pacing (“then we would kiss”)
  3. preselected by women (kissing disease)
  4. protector of loved ones (“didn’t want her to catch it”)

How To Save Marriage

As I’ve said before, marriage as it is currently constituted is the worst deal imaginable for men: You give up on all other women forevermore only to run a better than 50% risk that the aging pussy you’re stuck with will walk off with half your money and the house on nothing more than her personal whim.

My advice to men has always been simple — don’t get married. The blessing of marriage is no longer needed to score a steady supply of sex and love.

But since I am the very Moloko Plus of human kindness, and understanding that companionate marriage has served the West well, I give some steps society can take to get the institution back on firm footing.

  • Abolish no-fault divorce

When the law relieved husbands and wives of the obligation to give a damned good reason to leave their partners, it was a race to the exits, and beta males took the brunt of it under the new polygynous rules. Yes, some individual divorce parties will suffer without the easy out of no-fault. But the suffering of the few is to be weighed against the betterment of the whole.

  • Stop browbeating women to go on to higher education (especially law school)

Only a person — like, oh, myself — with an excellent grasp of human nature could say this. Economically empowered (which is basically the same as educationally empowered) women face a smaller pool of dateable men. This is because it is in the very core of a woman’s nature to date and marry up. Women are not happy unless they are surrendering their bodies to higher status men. By pricing themselves out of the sexual market, they have been forced, when they do get married, to marry at their level or below, increasing the likelihood she’ll turn off the pussy spigot and make him go to the bathroom in the woods as her lawyers sharpen their carving knives. This trend will get worse as the ratio of women to men in higher education grows more skewed. Only the beautiful women have the luxury of marrying up to their hearts’ content.

Now of course, many women will bitch and moan, somewhat justifiably under the current cultural regime, that they need the education and better paying jobs to survive because they can’t rely on men to support them adequately. But here’s what they’re missing: Weaker women *inspire* men to protect and provide for them. In a social climate where women aren’t doing as well occupationally you will see men MORE motivated to improve their own job outlooks because they are fired up to provide for, instead of compete with, the women around them.

Women would be better served concentrating on improving their looks through whatever means necessary. Only ugly women should seriously consider grad school.

  • Wives of alphas should learn to ignore their husbands’ affairs and mistresses

Alpha husbands who can get their rocks off with younger pretty mistresses won’t be as liable to walk away from their marriages because their sexual satiation, coupled with the wives’ loyal acquiescence, would discourage them from seeking divorce to clear the way to hot sex. Double plus societal bonus: More alphas tied up in marriage means more women available to marry betas.

The reverse scenario does not apply because a cheating wife is much more dangerous to the stability of the marriage than a cheating husband. Double standard? Of course! Deal. Human nature cares not for your equalist shibboleths.

  • Reinvigorate the manufacturing sector of the US economy

This is related to point #2 above. It’s no coincidence that the slide in manufacturing in the past 40 years has tracked the rise in divorce. Without a solid manufacturing base to shore up the pride in self and incomes of left-side-of-the-bell curve men the cruel and merciless shark infested waters of the modern cognitive economy have chewed them up, leaving them utterly defenseless against the onslaught of fickle masculinized women armed with the imprimatur of no fault divorce and burgeoning incomes.

I haven’t seen this written about anywhere else. I believe the loss of manufacturing in America has contributed a lot more to divorce than people think. Manufacturing jobs gave men ill-equipped or ill-tempered for the academic life a shot at decent money and respectable standing in society, without leaving them castrated as office drones or service workers. And manufacturing, appealing so directly to men’s interests, ran no risk of being overrun by a workforce of women eager to operate heavy machinery. In a word, globalization has been bad for the American institution of marriage.

Libertarians may shudder at this suggestion, but then libertarians have never had a firm grasp of male-female natures.

Egalitarian liberals will shudder at all my suggestions, but then egalitarian liberals are discredited.

  • Fire all the divorce lawyers

You’ve gotta clean house of the parasites before any of these ideas can be put into action.

  • Fathers of daughters have to take a stronger role in punishing and publicly humiliating male interlopers and their slutty daughters

This goes against the trend of feminized doofus befuddled fathers acting like their presence is superfluous, but the return of the powerful patriarchal father would go a long way to curbing the excesses of both the interloper cads and the slutty daughters. Personally, I love sluts, and this suggestion would make my life harder, but what’s good for me is not necessarily, or even very often, good for society.

  • Reform the ass-ramming that is child support and divorce laws

In the event of divorce, what beta ex-husband wants to pay a hefty sum to an ex-wife who has his kids 90% of the time and spends it on lingerie and beer for her bad boy lover? A lot of provider betas imagine this scenario and decide that learning game is a better option than walking down the aisle. I don’t blame them.

  • Think carefully about gay marriage

Besides the slippery slope argument (which I believe is a legitimate one in this case, opening the door to polygamous arrangements), gay marriage undermines the procreative justification for marriage. Western companionate marriage is as much about kids as it is about love. Scrap the one reason and it’s harder to justify getting married for the other reason. (After all, it’s easy to leave a spouse you no longer love if there are no kids involved, and it’s easy to stay childless and love a partner without the codification of marriage.)

Undermining the procreative reason for marriage with legally sanctioned innately nonprocreative pairings undermines the whole. (Spare me the counterargument that infertile hetero couples can get married. The important concept lies in the potential of the couple in a natural unadulterated state to procreate, not the actual capability.)

Now personally I couldn’t care less if gays get married; it doesn’t affect my life one way or the other, so I will never agitate for or against it. What I’ve written in this post is a primer for society, not for my own hedonistic pursuit. The thing to remember is that INCENTIVES MATTER in human affairs, and right now there is a huge structural disincentive for men to marry and a structural incentive for women to initiate divorce.

Actually, I hope none of these changes happen. It would really cramp my style.

Postscript: Another option is to get the state completely out of the business of marriage. They’ve gone ahead and fucked it up pretty well, so why not try the alternative?

I’m a sensitive man, and some of my reader’s comments expressing their hurt and frustration with my writings have bothered me. After a bit of sorrowful reflection, I decided to turn my back on the anger and evil in my heart and open myself to a deeper understanding and wisdom.

Here is a video response to my detractors I made to reach across the divide and show I’m a changed man. I hope we can put this unpleasantness behind us and accept love into our lives.

I put a lot of passion into this video so some of the language is strong. Use headphones at work.

Please… I need a moment. 😥

I’m Evil

…according to this post by Tyler Cowen who contributes to the economics blog [REDACTED] and who refuses to link to me out of concern for the tender sensibilities of his readership — evangelical Bible Belt moms and beta academics I presume:

Should I, if only for didactic purposes, ever link to EVIL websites?

😀 😀 😀

If I come across a girl who reads his blog [REDACTED] I’ll show her this. Nothing gets a girl wetter faster than an evil bad boy. Chicks dig jerks. Chicks really dig evil jerks.

He promotes an aggressively instrumentalist view of the sexes; imagine Larry David as a scoreman plus make the language of the monologues ruder and more offensive.  He also thinks like an economist and uses marginalism: “Smells bad. (when a shower isn’t going to help your cause, why bother?)”

My question is which parameter value he incorrectly estimates; after all, he is not just evil he is also imprudent in missing the joys of monogamy and matrimony.  I believe that most of all, he underestimates his transparency to his observers in real life.  I sometimes call this the endogeneity of face to thought and thus his face must be somewhat evil too.  Since his strategies cause him to spend time only with women he can fool, he doesn’t correctly perceive how he is wrecking his broader reputation; the same is probably true for the rest of us as well.

It’s well-known in scientific circles that men with evil faces make the best lovers.

On a serious note: The mistake in his analysis is that a reputation as a ladies’ man makes a man *more* attractive to women, not less. And women aren’t “fooled” — women are complicit in their own seduction.

Can he still be saved by a good woman?

I like to think I’m a cuddly teddy bear whose pursuit of delicious pussy necessitates evil tactics. But maybe that’s just semantics.

Poor guy.  Poor, poor guy.

Envy is 100% bad box office.  Now excuse me I have to take an evil piss.

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