Big Rapport Mistake

Emotionally connecting with a girl is 90% of getting her into your bed. The first ten minutes of meeting her — swooping in, introducing yourself, steering the conversation, and building her attraction to you through body language and high value stories — while considered the hardest part of courtship by most guys, is really just a small piece of the pick up puzzle. The fact is, most guys fuck it up with girls during those long interludes on the second date when they are face to face getting to know each other.

The reason for this is that men and women have fundamentally different thought processes. In short: men focus, women sample. A topic of conversation comes up and the guy wants to analyze it fully, drilling down to the tiniest detail and debating the pros and cons, while the girl wants to use the topic as a springboard to explore related topics. Biologically, this makes perfect sense, as men raise their status in big part by solving problems, and women judge a man’s strength of character by gauging his responses to a variety of scenarios. Men should be aware that women won’t show their hand so blatantly by asking probing questions directly; instead, they use the chaotic give and take of conversation to expose any insecurities he may be hiding.

The underlying dynamic — women normally need hours of subtle interrogation to deem a man worthy of sex, while men need only a second of eyeballing her head to toe to deem her worthy of pursuing — accounts for much of the misunderstanding between the sexes.

One of the biggest mistakes a man will make is superficial listening. This is where he gets wrapped up inside his head thinking hard about a clever response he can impress her with while she’s still talking to him. Usually he will latch onto a “keyword” to launch his diatribe before she has finished her thoughts. The result is an uncomfortable, forced rapport where the guy is interrupting her every other word trying to find common ground and leaving her feeling like she is not being heard.

Example

Him: What’s your ideal vacation spot?

Her: Well, I would really love to go scuba diving along a coral reef in warm Caribbean waters. The colors of the fish are amazing, and you can feel so peaceful under the water, away from all the stress of your normal life…

Him: Oh yeah! Scuba diving is fun! My favorite part was falling backwards off the boat into the water.

***

This guy made the typical man mistake of grasping at the solid object — the noun– in her answer instead of discerning what was really important, which was the feeling scuba diving gave her and her hint at what she values in life.

If you do this, train yourself to step out of your head. The simplest way to improve this part of your game is to shut up, nod, and say uh huh… uh huh… a lot while she’s speaking. Don’t worry about what you’re going to say next while she’s talking. Give her room to talk. Never argue or get obsessed with the details in her stories. Don’t correct her like some nerd study partner when she flubs an inconsequential fact. If she’s giving her opinion, don’t judge her for it. This is the rapport stage, not the attraction stage. You want to build a connection and the easiest way to do that is to let her feel comfortable around you revealing her hopes and desires. You’ll get into a smooth conversational rhythm faster if you stop being anxious about responding to every one of her points.

Be mentally flexible.

A Deposed Queen

I could have a beer with this guy.

Reality Check

I was walking with a friend down a city street here in the city and we took a running tally of all the cute girls we passed. We lost count. No sooner were we leering at admiring one hot chick when another one appeared and stole our attention. I wondered if this was how lions felt when there were too many prey animals to choose from on the veldt — overwhelmed to the point of inaction.

One of the routes I frequently take has tons of chicks.

 

That’s an average of 70 inspiring girls along this heavily-trafficed route. I rarely see repeats, except for the Pink Ladies loitering in front of Asylum. This route is probably the second best in city for day game, just behind Kansas.

As you can see, the center city is a magnet for girls who want to sit on the benches and pretend to type on laptops.

This heavy concentration of babes in parts of the city can lead a man to mistakenly believe the whole world is a playground of available women ripe for his charms. He may then conclude there is no hurry to approach any one girl since there’s always another one coming. Such a flawed perspective needs a reality check, so I’ve put together a handy chart that shows indisputably how few acceptable girls there are in an average day for a man to hit on.

Age of woman	# per 100 you’ll see walking around on any given Saturday in DC*	% 7s and Above	# of Acceptable Targets (rounded)	# of acceptable targets who will be single** at any given time
18	1	92	1	0
19	2	88	2	0
20	4	80	3	1
21	4	70	3	1
22	5	65	4	1
23	7	55	3	1
24	9	47	4	2
25	10	42	4	2
26	11	37	4	2
27	9	33	3	2
28	6	28	2	1
29	4	25	1	1
30	4	20	1	1
31	3	15	0	0
32	3	12	0	0
33	2	10	0	0
34	2	8	0	0
35	2	5	0	0
36	2	3	0	0
37	2	2	0	0
38	1	2	0	0
39	1	1	0	0
40	1	1	0	0
41	1	1/2	0	0
42	1	1/4	0	0
43	1	1/5	0	0
44	1	1/10	0	0
45	1	1/100	0	0
The Wall	Invisible	0	N/A	N/A
Totals	100		35	15

*Older women will tend to be found in Costco on a Saturday afternoon buying bulk Oreos for their kids.
**Restricted to girls who are open to meeting men. Women in the city between 28 and 35 are more likely to be single than women under 25.

From my chart, the pickings are slim. For every 100 women in a youth-oriented city that attracts good-looking girls from all over the country, you will be aroused by 35 of them, and have an outside shot at gratifying your arousal with only 15.

To put it in another perspective, since most men agree on what constitutes a 7 and above, you’re competing with 100 other guys for 15 vaginas. Do you have what it takes to be in the top 15%?

Dancing Douche

Prop

Sometimes the scene will yield the perfect prop to exploit for bonding with girls. This guy gave us ten minutes of quality entertainment:

I know it’s hard to see (dark, buzzing cameraman) but there is a guy dancing in front of the fish tank holding a cell phone to his ear. I’m pretty sure there was no one on the other end of the line. He danced vigorously (leg kicking, pelvis thrusting) for a full ten minutes staring at the fish tank the whole time, cell phone never leaving his ear. Half the bar was pointing and laughing at him. The bartenders began imitating his moves, complete with mock cell phone. He remained oblivious to his public humiliation.

Thank you, Dancing Douche, for facilitating mating opportunities.

Leave Ashley Alone!

She reveals her heart of gold in this video. Especially at 1:45 in.

Prostitutes Are Not Victims

Wow, this is the story that keeps on giving. A common refrain I heard a lot, mostly from women but some uptight men as well, was that Ashley the hot young whore was a victim of her circumstances. It was the fault of the patriarchy, or sex-obsessed men, or drugs, or divorce, or running away from home. She was never to blame for her choices. But now her life is being revealed for what it really was:

Ashley Alexandra Dupré, an alleged call girl known as “Kristen,” who helped bring down New York’s governor, writes of a past checkered with poverty and even homelessness.

It’s a tough image to reconcile with the wealthy surroundings of a childhood spent with her mother, older brother and stepfather, an oral surgeon.

The white brick home in an upscale development near the Jersey Shore, is bordered with manicured shrubs and a wide, curved driveway. Large brass letters spell “PEACE” above the polished, auburn wood door. A similar house next door, where one of Dupré’s close childhood friends still lives, is on the market for more than $1.5 million, according to its owner.

Yeah, sounds like “the street” destroyed her and caused her to turn to a life of whoring. So what pushed her over the edge?

She also mentioned being abused while growing up, saying it forced her to run away – a claim one family friend called ridiculous.

“She crashed up [her stepdad’s] Porsche and wanted another one, and he wouldn’t give it to her, so she left,” said the friend, who asked her name not be printed.

She should move to DC, she’d fit right in here with her well-developed entitlement attitude.

In the meantime, Spitzer’s 50 year old wife can’t believe her husband would bang a girl almost the same age as his daughter:

Silda Wall Spitzer was deeply shaken that her disgraced hubby repeatedly slept with a hooker only a few years older than their eldest daughter, a family friend told The Post.

“It was the age” of 22-year-old Jersey girl Ashley Alexandra Dupre that really got to Silda, the friend said.

This is evidence that even (especially?) the smartest women are in complete denial about men’s sexual desire. Or they are utterly ignorant of it. I blame this on our gender bender culture filling women’s heads with the wrong ideas about male-female psychological differences.

The truth about Ashley’s upbringing should embarrass the anti-prostitute crusaders who like to whip out the “every whore is a victim” sympathy card. The infantilizing of women by feminists was always a spurious debate tactic. Women like Ashley know exactly what they are doing. They are hot, young, entitled and slutty so getting paid huge sums of money for banging rich middle-aged guys doesn’t seem like such a bad deal to them. If I had a hot daughter I would impart my wisdom and tell her to make a killing as a stripper for a few years, invest her money, and then take it easy husband-shopping and starting a business selling handcrafted jewelry.

Prostitution should be legalized so I don’t have to waste time and money flying to Nevada when I want an acceptable piece of ass in my old age. Legal prostitution would also reduce the incidence of rape.

Seven New Deadly Sins Quiz

A Catholic bishop, in an interview published in a Vatican newspaper, described seven new deadly sins for the modern age. The previous deadly sins — to which these new ones will be added (giving me double the opportunity to have fun) — are lust, gluttony, avarice, sloth, anger, envy and pride. I do all right on the old school seven, slipping up a little with sloth and avarice, though clearly I’d need to spend a year in the confessional and 10,000 Hail Marys absolving myself for my lust and pride sins. That is what happens when you sell your soul to the devil for a fourteen inch tool.

I’m curious how I’d fare with the new sins.

Polluting

If this is considered a deadly sin then murder 1 just suffered a major depreciation. I’m not an active industrial polluter, but I do sometimes toss empty beer bottles into the regular trash, and I don’t give a penny to environmental groups so I’m probably sinning a little in this category. I like green grass and blue skies as much as any treehugger but let’s face it, once you’re dead it doesn’t matter what condition you left the world in, so my working philosophy is to live it up and pass the bill to the next generation.

Verdict: Scofflaw

Genetic Engineering

I love the promise of genetic engineering. In my view, it’s a virtue, not a sin. Once the applied science is up to speed, I’d be all for designing babies to play Mozart after one listening and making them so smart Harvard goes bankrupt from all the kids teaching themselves. If a doctor told me with a minor gene tweak he could guarantee my unborn son the gift of a prehensile penis, I would agree to it. I fully support selectively aborting deformed or Downs Syndrome fetuses. In fact, I support exposing them at birth. It’s cruel to knowingly bring a retarded or crippled child into the world and doom him or her to a lifetime of misery.

Verdict: Evildoer

Being Obscenely Rich

Define obscene. I’d be obscenely rich if I were living in Bolivia. What if I lust for obscene wealth in my heart but live like a group house squatter? Anyhow, it’s mental masturbation. In a few weeks I have my IPO, then I will be sinning badly in this category.

Verdict: Angel

Drug Dealer

I once passed the dutchie on the left hand side.

Verdict: Transgressor

Abortion

Big fan. Gives men an escape hatch in case of emergency. I’m so pro-choice I feel like I should have the choice to abort my girlfriend’s accidental pregnancy for her.

Verdict: Satan’s Little Helper

Pedophilia

Gee, I wonder why this made the list. *rolls eyes* So let’s see… No crotch movement when I’m near prepubescent boys? Check. Not a gay priest? Check. Prefer boobs and hips on girls I want to screw? Check. Once said out loud while watching The Professional “Oh YEAH, Natalie Portman is gonna be HOT in a couple of years!”? Check… uh oh.

Verdict: Fallen Angel

Causing Social Injustice

Way too vague. I cause a social injustice every time I skip out of jury duty by pretending to have Tourette’s Syndrome (guilty motherfucker! fuck guilty fuck!). So I’m supposed to be lumped in with Stalin’s Ukrainian genocide? The Catholic Church needs to narrow its scope on this one.

Verdict: Miscreant

Total Sinner Score: Lesser Baddie. I need to work on polluting more.