Website Find Of The Week

Ow, my balls!

Why are guys getting punched in the sack so much funnier than girls getting hit in the vagina?

Hidden psyche answer:

Because by nature, men are expendable.

PS: Here are a couple more nad shots I found artistically elevated:

God Vs Satan

2 Balls 1 Foot

Freedom

It has been three years since I last played a video game for any length of time. Yes, I include Solitaire in this. I have never played or even seen World of Warcraft.

I built my home computer from the ground up to prove to myself I could do it, but when it is time to upgrade I will save myself the geeky effort and purchase a retail unit.

I have averaged about 2.5 hours of TV watching per week in the past two years, and I went the entire month of August not having watched any TV at all. I watched five minutes of NASCAR out of curiosity. I didn’t get it.

Into the mindless entertainment void I have substituted more hours playing my guitar, reading books, writing (not just the blog. I’m also working on a screenplay. Coming soon to theaters worldwide.), listening to new music, and scoring.

While my retreat from TV has cost me some valuable pop culture knowledge I could have potentially cashed in for connection points with girls I try to seduce, my deeper foray into the indie music scene has put my finger on the pulse of a powerful cultural current that has given me much more to talk about with the type of girls I like than TV ever has.

Discovering new music is more difficult when you are older. As a teenager and college student I was surrounded by people my age tapped into the latest musical fads and concert schedules. New music came to me. Now, I go to the music. I have to put in serious effort to find music I like that is also popular with my target demographic (21-32 year old women), and this means many hours logged onto pitchfork.com and scouring the showtimes at Black Cat and 9:30 club.

There seem to be two orders of magnitude more bands today than there were even ten years ago. A new band pops up daily. Most of them are flashes in the pan with one listenable song that the music critics cream their jeans for using mellifluous nonsense words like “reluctantly noirish” and “emotionally punchy, angular industro-funk-trance”, which makes me wonder how these same critics would have described an up-and-coming Led Zeppelin or Nirvana. Most indie bands have ridiculously long and/or unintelligible names that would make more sense in Esperanto.

The era of the arena band with staying power is long over. The era of the niche “let’s blow our creative load on one album, get laid like gangbusters and make a small fortune off internet viral marketing, then exit the scene” band is in full swing. Making too much money and banging too much pussy off the fruits of your first single release is bad for creative longevity. Led Zeppelin didn’t begin raking it in until their third album.

My favorite song as of this writing is “Atlas” by Battles.

I watch 50% fewer movies in the theater now than I did five years ago. I have missed some good movies, but much crap has also not polluted my sensitive brain.

On balance, I believe I have improved my personal entertainment profile.

Compliance

Spend any amount of time in the company of naturals and you’ll notice something they all have in common is how, without much forethought, they have women do things for them.

“Here, take my hand.”

“Follow me.”

“Be a cool girl and buy me a beer.”

“Hold onto my scarf, I want to show you something.” 

Pickup artists have a name for this type of social interaction — compliance game. It’s a very important component of pickup because it serves two powerful functions; one, it forces the woman into the man’s frame of reality, and two, it raises his value relative to hers. If she is not getting her way and is consenting to him getting his way, then she is in his world where he makes the rules. He now sets the pace and direction of the seduction. This is very attractive to women. When she invests in him by doing things for him, no matter how insignificant (“hold my scarf”), her acquiescence creates an emotional state that influences her perception of him as having high social value. The very act of assenting to a random person’s command establishes an authority/follower dynamic, no matter the objective differences in their actual value.

Pickup artists have, in all their systematizing and categorizing intellectual glory, devised ways to mimic the naturals’ instinctive game and get the same results from women. I have used these methods, both consciously and instinctually, and the results are nothing short of astounding. Testing for compliance is an indispensable technique.

Recent innovations in the “pickup community” give even more ammunition to the inveterate seducer. Here, I will pass along one.

Sometimes, a girl will not comply with the positive vibe you are trying to generate. Maybe you said something nerdy or you were prematurely forward or your body language wasn’t right. When this happens an awkward tension occurs. She looks at you funny or crosses her arms. Think of it as her trying to impose her reality on you. The way to turn it around is to call her out on her behavior and make it seem as if her noncompliance is strange. For example, let’s say you just asked her to give you her palm for a reading and she reacts with a weird look.

Girl: [weird look]

You: [lean back and give her a suspicious eye] Hey, what’s going on? You’re giving me a funny look and it’s really making me feel kind of awkward. You’re cool with all this, right?

Girl: No, don’t worry, everything’s cool. It was just a strange request.

You: Yeah, well, that look you gave was weirding me out. If you’re not comfortable feel free to leave anytime.

Girl: No, no, really, it’s OK. You’re cool.

Congratulations, you have just escorted the girl straight into your reality. Not only is she complying, but she has verbalized that you are cool. By calling her weird for her behavior or saying she is giving off weird vibes, (“weird” is an excellent word to use on a girl because it’s a word that girls use all the time to describe things about men that bother them), you force her to qualify herself to you. Adding that she can leave at any time assuages her that you are non-needy.

You can run with this technique until she is all smiles, telling you she likes you, and hugging you.

You: I’m glad we’re cool with each other. Come here, give me a hug. Whoa, hands up here, not down there!

Ultimately, the goal is to reframe every negative thing a girl does or says as a problem with her, not you, so that you are never on the defensive making excuses for yourself. A defensive man is a sexless man.

Lying For Sex

Getting laid is so critical to a man’s well-being that if he needs to lie to get it I’m not morally scandalized. I liken it to the unemployed man who has to steal bread in order to feed his starving family. The sexless man would be negligent not to avail himself of the shadier moral choices to cure his condition.

If lies are necessary to avoid the walking death of celibacy then it is worth the soulpence it may cost in whatever personal code of integrity a man follows. A lie to bed a woman does her little harm. After all, what exactly has changed… what actual harm has been done to her… if the next morning she finds out he works at Taco Bell instead of Goldman Sachs? The sex will still have felt as good because a discovered lie cannot undo the past. Unless she has made important life decisions with him on the first night together the lie will not have any influence on her future. At best, she can say that had she known the truth she would have enjoyed one more night of sleeping alone.

The reason men lie for sex is because it is an option that is available to them. It’s a courtship tactic that exists because women look for non-obvious signals of attractiveness in men. Lying takes advantage of a woman’s base motives — her lust for powerful men, conspicuous displays of resources and confidence, and the feeling of being seduced — by feeding her what she wants to hear. Women lie as well when they wear makeup and act coquettish but that is not of the same order of magnitude as the lies men have at their disposal to beguile women into sex. Men pretty much know with a quick glance whether they want to bang a girl so girls don’t have much room to lie their way onto a man’s erection. Therefore, it is easier for girls to assume the moral high ground because their virtue is born of necessity. They’d lie like men if easy sex were on their agenda or it helped them as much to get what they want in a partner.

If a loser has trouble getting laid the normal way I see no reason why he should handicap himself by adopting a posture of perfect moral rectitude and telling the truth when it will obviously hurt his cause. The reward for such good behavior — many nights alone with his hand — hardly compensates for the sex he could have gotten through amoral means. Lying can be an attainable way for a beta to get a few early notches under his belt and purify himself of the stink of desperation.

Take the following two scenarios illustrating why lying for sex is not always the black-or-white moral decision many women want men to believe.

1. She asks if he’s a virgin. (Odd question to ask, but let’s assume something about him gave her cause for concern.) He’s a 30 year old man and is, in fact, a virgin. If he answers “yes” he has seriously impacted his chance to get laid. If he lies, he keeps his goal in sight and she loses nothing.
2. He has terminal cancer and will die in one year. He has been dating a girl for two months and it is going well. Both of them feel the first stirrings of love. She doesn’t know of his disease. He wants to spend his remaining time on earth in the arms of a woman who loves him. If he tells her the truth she may leave him or withdraw her love so as to avoid wasting a year of her life on a man who won’t be around to support her and the family she eventually wants. If he lies he has, in effect, stolen a year of her prime dating marketability, though he has given her a year of love she was not guaranteed to get without him.

While I have no abstract moral hang-up about lying I don’t recommend it as a seduction tool for three reasons.

• It’s weak game

Lying is the cut & paste, band-aid version of game. It’s quick and dirty and often effective, but won’t last. It has no roots, no foundation. It’s better to spend the effort to learn good solid game that will be there for you in any situation than to use the crutch of weak game where you have to waste energy keeping track of all your lies. You will feel a greater sense of accomplishment winning over a woman without resorting to outright lies and this will redound to your self-confidence.

• It complicates the pursuit of long term relationships

Lies work well for one night stands and even short term flings if the guy doesn’t contradict himself. But long term relationships — the ones where you go shopping for a condo together or she visits you at the office to drop off your lunch — will crumble under an edifice of lies. If you work at Taco Bell she’ll find out eventually. False advertising moves product only up until the first recall. So if you are looking for lasting love it pays to resist the temptation to lie away perceived flaws.

• Lying is self-reinforcing

The big problem with lying is that once you start, you can’t stop. One lie requires two more to sustain, and two lies requires four. You will soon find yourself mired in a fantasy world of talented Mr. Ripley proportions (which isn’t so bad if you have his skills of deception) that will kill any chance at a healthy relationship unless the girl is a complete masochist for your lying bad ass. (Those girls do exist.) Plus, lying encourages reliance on other bad habits to seduce a woman. If you lie to attract a woman then other parts of your game are likely to be equally sloppy.

Moral of this post: Don’t lie. Evade.

Mystery

Why do some men use the toilet to piss, splashing droplets of urine all over the seat, when there are two perfectly good, AVAILABLE, urinals nearby?

You suck, toilet pissers.

The Best Reason to Leave Your Comfort Zone

It slows down time.

[W]arping of time apparently does not result from the brain speeding up from adrenaline when in danger. Instead, this feeling seems to be an illusion, scientists now find.

We feel time moving slower when we are in danger or experiencing novel stimuli because of a trick played by the brain’s memory centers.

Instead, such time warping seems to be a trick played by one’s memory. When a person is scared, a brain area called the amygdala becomes more active, laying down an extra set of memories that go along with those normally taken care of by other parts of the brain.

“In this way, frightening events are associated with richer and denser memories,” Eagleman explained. “And the more memory you have of an event, the longer you believe it took.”

Eagleman added this illusion “is related to the phenomenon that time seems to speed up as you grow older. When you’re a child, you lay down rich memories for all your experiences; when you’re older, you’ve seen it all before and lay down fewer memories. Therefore, when a child looks back at the end of a summer, it seems to have lasted forever; adults think it zoomed by.”

I have very distinct memories of sitting in my ninth grade German class watching the second hand on the big white clock over the chalkboard tick by endlessly on its countdown to the 3 PM closing bell. Those last three seconds seemed to hang on for an eternity. Today I can sit at my desk, look at the computer clock, look at it again, and be amazed (and depressed) that an hour flew by. According to this study, I perceive time moving faster than it used to because I am no longer getting enough new experiences in my life like I did as a child. To remedy this I will actively pursue harrowing and stimulating adventures, like bungee jumping, worldwide travel, and multitudes of women.

Multitudes of women.  And traveling to unique locales.

Whoever thought that gaming girls in foreign countries could actually lengthen your lifespan? Science says it is so.

Sweetness

Sweetness is defined as robbing a girl of the satisfaction of walking away from a failing relationship with the upper hand. It means stealing her thunder when she wants to be the dumper. There are two ways to do this, and both require presence of mind to accurately assess when she is about to pull the trigger. Timing is everything; you need to act right after she has made up her mind but just before she announces her intent to leave. Striking when the dissolution of the relationship has reached core meltdown will ensure maximum emotional impact and bewilderment.

Strategy 1

Dump her first.

Don’t do it too early while the embers of love are still strong or you’ll forswear many more months of sex and leave her brokenhearted. The Moloko Plus of righteous vengeance tastes bitter when raised in toast to a hapless, innocent victim. Save your awesome cruelty for the deserving. After she has grown cold to your affections and has begun plotting her escape she will care not a whit for your well-being. Thereafter feel free to unleash your malevolence unburdened by guilt.

When she has stopped returning your calls promptly and you sense the first stirrings of trouble, put your plan into action. Arrange to meet for drinks at your favorite bar (familiar turf is best). She won’t balk yet because you and her are still dating even if the spark has left. She may have lost the desire to hang out with you but her sense of obligation to the relationship will linger a little while longer. This window of tentative indifference usually lasts about two weeks. This is when you will act. As you and her are sitting there drinking and you’re watching her get more irritable by the minute, pause dramatically and with great solemnity announce that it’s just not working out, you’ve felt this way for a while, and though you hate hurting her like this you can’t fake it anymore and pretend like everything’s OK. You think it is unfair to keep her in a one-sided relationship when you don’t share her feelings and you want to end it now so the both of you can move on.

IMPORTANT: Do NOT give her an opportunity to respond. You want the confusion to fuck with her head for weeks.

Stand up from the table, throw a few bucks down for the drinks, and tell her you hope you can still be friends. When she attempts to sputter something in defense, hold up your hand forcefully and say “Don’t make it harder! We both need time to ourselves”, then walk out.

Strategy 2

Use her dumping power against her.

Wait for her to initiate the inevitable breakup talk and get a sense of the direction she plans to steer the conversation, then use her own words as your weapons. For instance, if she starts “I’ve been thinking…” you reply “I’ve been thinking too…”. If she says “I need space…” you say “I agree, we both need space…” then give her a reason why that space is so important by homing in on one of her critical weaknesses. Don’t know her critical weakness? What are you, a nancyboy? One of the first things you should accomplish in a relationship is taking a mental note of your girlfriend’s vulnerabilities. If you feel bad about doing this, trust me, she’s doing it to you. So find her buttons in case you need to press them in the future.

This strategy works only if you execute with the utmost subtlety. Simply blurting out everything you find distasteful about her after she has already lowered the boom will make you look feeble and hurt. You want to agree with her and then add your own opinion of the reasons for the failed relationship as if you understand her difficulty and are trying to make the whole process of dumping you easier for her. At first, she will approve of your “maturity” in handling the situation; later, when what you have said sinks in, she will seethe with hatred for you.

An example of this happened to me with a LAWYER chick I had dated for a couple months. She didn’t return one of my text messages for two days so I knew what to expect when she finally called. I answered the phone prepared:

Her: I have something to tell you…

Me: Yeah, me too.

Her: You do? Well go ahead, what did you want to say?

Me: No, you go first. I didn’t mean to interrupt.

Her: Well, OK… I’m sorry about this but I just don’t see us working out…

Me: I know…

Her: … and I don’t think… you know?

Me: Yeah, we’re not a good match. You’re looking for something else, and I’m looking for a more down-to-earth girl.

[NOTE: Every chick lawyer’s open bleeding wound is being thought of as too uptight, snobby, and anal. Telling a lawyer she is not down-to-earth is like rubbing rock salt in the wound.]

Her: Down-to-earth?

Me: I guess I was hoping it would work itself out.

Her: [Switching into snippy lawyer-talk mode] Well, I’m glad we can agree on this. Good day.

Oh I had hit pay dirt. Sure, I didn’t want the good times to end but at least I stopped her momentum dead in its tracks and left her with steam coming out of her ears. The proof of this is in what happened six months later when she saw me sitting at a sidewalk cafe table with some friends — she approached me and looked visibly nervous as she practically shouted how great it was to see me. My deft handling of the breakup had seared an indelible impression in her mind. Robbing her of the closure every woman needs with a breakup is a surefire way to keep the attraction simmering.

With great hate comes great love.