Excerpt from the Book of Alpha

Every text or email or recordable instance of conversation you have with a girl must follow this simple rule:

If it were given a public airing, let’s say on a blog or a sports stadium jumbotron, you should feel comfortable with what you have written for the world to see.  You should not feel an urge to wince, because it will be clear to everyone reading it how alpha you are.  If the thought of someone other than you and your girl reading your permanently archived romantic exchanges makes you cringe with embarrassment, then you are doing something wrong that will eventually lead to your girl dumping you.

An example of texting* from a place of beta-tude:

YOU: Good morning, lovechop! 🙂 I had a gr8 time w u last nite!
HER: Me too.  Can’t wait to see you again.
YOU: U free this thurs? Miss u. Muaah muuah!
HER: Aw.  Thanks sweetie.  Call me later.
YOU: 😀  Will do! 🙂

People reading this will puke a little and say “What a lameass.  Like that’s gonna last.”

An example of texting from a place of alphaness:

YOU: {nothing}
HER: U there? Haven’t heard from u in a while.
YOU: Hey, babe. What’s up?
HER: The love last night was incredible! Have u been thinking of me?
YOU: Just a little.
HER: 🙂 Miss u already, baby.  Muuah!
YOU: {nothing}

The difference is clear.  This man has kept his responses shorter than his girl’s and intriguingly aloof.  He has refrained from emoting effusively.  An objective third party would say “He’s cool. Bet he gets laid a lot.”  You want to be a man people think gets laid a lot, even if you don’t.

*Avoid texting on a regular basis.  It is borderline beta.  A man should not have the empty time to punch in a frivolous conversation with a girl using only his thumb.

How to Win Back an Ex-Girlfriend

If you are the sort of vengeful prick who’d put real effort into bedding an ex just to turn the tables on her with a grandiose post-coitus exit, then you’ll need a proven method for achieving your goal.  One of the hardest feats to accomplish is re-igniting an ex-girlfriend’s attraction for you, especially if she initiated the breakup.  Unlike guys, who are perfectly OK with return trips to the well no matter how dry, women have a no-looking-back switch that, when flipped, desexualizes the man she had spent months or years enslaving with her body.  In her eyes, he is reduced to possessing the animal magnetism of a toll booth operator or a paperboy.  Once she has crossed this rubicon of fatal unattraction, his chances of re-bedding her dwindle to zilch.  You may think that the wild uninhibited sex bonded you two securely for the ages, but you can forget it – girls are creatures of the moment and if she dumped you you can bet she dumped all those memorable sex scenes, too.  She’s saving her inner dirty whore for a new man now.

Given this reality, your best bet for turning her around is to put your plan into action *before* she formally becomes your ex.   You have a short window of opportunity to do this.  The longer you have been with her the more warning she will give you with her change in behavior.  She won’t end a 2 year relationship overnight; you’ll have at least a month to clue in to the red flags.  Your number one priority, then, is recognizing the danger signals.  Infrequent or bland sex is of course an obvious indicator.  Look for delays in returning your calls and texts.  See if her eyes follow suit when she smiles (dead eyes are a dead giveaway).  Tone of voice will always betray a woman — musical when she’s happy, girlish when she’s affectionate, breathy when she’s horny, monotone when she’s lost respect for you.  Watch for contemptuous mannerisms like eye-rolling or tch-ing.  If she starts asking you strange questions or leading conversations down bizarre paths, that is her way of smoking you out.  She no longer trusts you to engage in normal playful conversation with you.  Go with your gut.  90% of the time it will be right.

Awareness of changes in her demeanor wins you half the battle.  You must also maintain complete state control.  If you give in to the rush of emotions that your traitorous brain floods you with when faced with an impending loss you will fail.  What is required of you is to CUT AND RUN before her doubts about you cement.  You must be the one to leave first.  Minimize face time.  Don’t call her.  Be friendly but ambiguous.  Don’t inquire into her life.  Laugh off her crappy attitude.  Most importantly, act as if nothing is wrong.  If she senses you are acting aloof out of spite the spell will be broken.  Eventually, she will wander back to you, bewildered and intrigued, filled with doubt about her hasty judgment.  You will resume a pattern of dating and sex that eerily resembles the first few weeks together.  NEVER give the game away that you knew she was losing attraction if you want to avoid rekindling her impression of you as a weak beta.

What I have described above is the ideal ex-GF strategy.  Like most ideals, hardly anyone lives up to them.  And with good reason – maintaining composure in the midst of a dying relationship you don’t want to end demands superhuman grace under pressure.  Only the strongest alphas with a solid stable of regulars can cavalierly brush off the prospect of one of his girls attempting to dump him.  He knows she won’t muster the willpower to leave, but if she does it won’t matter anyway.

The less experienced man caught offguard will need to learn the art of turning it around after her decision to leave is made but before she has reached the no-looking-back stage.  Chances of re-notch success are much lower once she has verbalized her need for space, but with proper post-relationship game you can improve your odds dramatically.  The key is in the timing.  A mathematician has shown that the dumper’s loneliness and nostalgia for the broken relationship peak at about 3 weeks after the breakup, unless she has found another man in the interim.  Therefore, your job is to let her go and not speak to her for 3 weeks.  This will amplify her feelings of loss.  Then, at her most vulnerable 3 weeks later, call to say hi.  Keep the convo short and friendly.  Chances are best right at this moment that she will offer to meet you for drinks.

You’ll notice the common denominator with these strategies.  They only work if you do the OPPOSITE of what the typical guy would do.  Very few men getting dumped would have the presence of mind to lay low and refrain from trying to talk her out of her decision.  But that is exactly the winning formula.  Your breezy indifference will win back more exes than all the post-breakup talks in the world.  Lean back, reap your bounty, and if you’ve got the balls calmly tell her after the post-breakup violation of all her holes “Eh, you know, I shouldn’t have taken you back.  This isn’t going to work.”

Endless Dating

How long is too long to stay in the dating game?  The primary reason for the psychological unease and emotional instability of so many modern women and to a different extent modern men resides in the irresolvable tension between our ancient biological inheritance and the relatively recent emergence of the high-tech rootless world of unparalleled mate choice we now inhabit. 

It would shock most people if they were to be transported back in time to when humans lived in small tribes to see young girls having babies at 14 and again at 14 years and 9.5 months.  There are subsistence cultures that behave this way today.  The bulk of our pre-history was spent in conditions like this so it is no wonder that our brains are having trouble coping with a radically different environment where childbirth is routinely put off until the mid-30s, if at all, and rejection by a woman no longer means banishment to the icy wastelands of celibate metadeath when a man need merely walk to the other side of a bar to try again.

One consequence of this new paradigm is the absurd number of years spent in the dating circuit.

Women are designed by nature to begin the next generation not much older than age 25.  Her risk of miscarriage or fetal abnormalities increases each year after that and exponentially so after 35.  Her body begins to wear down which affects how much energy she can devote to raising small children.  If she has not found a suitable mate by her late 20s she will begin to notice that those powerful feelings of infatuation she felt for crushes when she was younger, perfectly created by evolution to bring a man and woman together to make babies, now seem muted and foggy.  This in turn will sap the dating experience of the best things it has going for it – namely, the spontaneity, the euphoria, the intense drive to connect – and leave behind a desiccated simulacra of dating that more closely resembles haggling over a business deal or suffering through a job interview.  Overthinking replaces lust.

It is an embittering realization.

Men, too, have had to adjust under the new system.  Anthropologically-speaking, it wasn’t so long ago that a man (or his immediate kin) blew his entire wad of hard-earned social and material capital wooing one or two women over the course of his natural lifespan.  In a pre-birth control age when the first deflowering blast inside a woman often meant conception followed by years of fatherhood there were limits on just how many female sex partners the average man could accumulate in a lifetime.  The rigorous experience of winning over and keeping the best quality woman he could afford and then providing for their kids soon thereafter meant that serial dating was not a typical feature of life.  Dating 40 or 50 different women in a year and jumping haphazardly in and out of 3-month mini-relationships is a peculiarity of modern life for which men are not optimized.  The energy requirement is enormous.  Men have adapted to this stressful cycle of meet-attract-close-keep by either settling and marrying the first girl that would have them (usually high school sweethearts who have not lived enough to acquire unrealistically picky standards) or by hardening themselves against the judgment of women and learning to play the numbers game.

The game begat the player.

In the gigantic atomized urban tribe of any big city playing the numbers is not the high risk strategy it once was for our distant male ancestors who were often locked out of any future matings when a pickup attempt went awry and the target or cockblock would run and tell the whole tribe what a loser he is.  Today, the proximity of exes has very little impact on potential future conquests.  For men, this has bought them virtually unlimited opportunity to get laid.  For women, this has robbed them of one of their most potent weapons in ensuring that only the fittest males get access to their vaginas — the withering ostracization of their sexual rejection.

On the flipside, men have lost confidence in the fidelity of their chosen partners while women have gained unstigmatized sexual freedom allowing them to play the field until the perfect man finally arrives to sweep them off their feet.

I do not think the current reality of endless dating can last.  Something must give.  Either humans will evolve into different social animals capable of withstanding decades of hookups and fragmentary relationships without turning to the comforts of cats and internet porn, or those people who serially date and delay childbirth will not have enough kids and natural selection will remove them from the gene pool as a failed experiment.  Either way, change is in the air.