Hoverhand, Meet The Chopstick Grip

lostcausemonaut satirizes,

zuck: “you must turn your right hand 3 times to reinstall my battery, ching-chong. do it wrong & i will spray acid upon you from my mouth parts.”

#ZuccFanFic

I love the #ZuccFanFic series. But keeping to the post’s topic, that weird fingertip exploration that Cuckersperg’s waifu is doing to his back demands a term of art to describe it.

Asiangraze
Hovertap
ETphonehome
Tentacleswarm
The yellow feeler
The waifu probe

The chopstick grip!

If the hoverhand is the physical expression of a beta male feeling anxious and uncomfortable in the presence of a hot chick, worried she might reject him if his hand were to find purchase on her shirt sleeve, then the Chopstick Grip is the physical expression of a girl who is too repulsed by her husband to make full palm contact with his scaly back. Instead, she probes for points of weakness, such as the location of his wallet and the release point for his fear of her dragonlady mother.

Btw, is it possible for Zux to look like a human in any of the photos of him? He always looks like he’s about to molt or catch a fly mid-air.

Cuckface Of The Year

Very sneaky of this tub of soy to use the category “middle eastern refugees” rather than the more precise and relevant “moslem”, which includes all moslems residing in America rather than just those officially designated as refugees recently escaping a war zone. The latter category — “moslem” — has a terrorist attack rate in America 5,000% higher than the rate for non-moslems.

And the vapid conflation of terrorist attacks with falling down stairs is par for the shitlib course. Stairs don’t surprise us with pipe bombs in the subway. We all know where the stairs are and the risks inherent in climbing or descending them. But the goal of moslem terrorists goes beyond their kill count; their objective is to spread fear and panic that death could come at any time and in any place. And, unlike stairs, moslems kill in the name of a religion, and have deep and wide networks of fellow moslems helping them in their deranged cause. They have an agenda, which stairs do not.

Finally, one has to scoff at the asterisked fine print on this bugman’s posterboard. He went out of his way to assure viewers he has “citations” for his claims.

But who will fact check the fact checkers?

(anyone with descended testicles)

Anyhow, that PURE CUCKFACE is a lesson in physiognomy. A quick glance at his problem glasses and his smug doughy androgynous puffboy mug is all you need to know he’d be the type to WELL ACHSHUALLY about moslem terrorism and welcome an invasion of hued hordes….into somebody else’s neighborhood. It’s also the look of a pasty blob who just hit the button on his rectally-inserted orgasm egg.

Cheater Red Flags

Recent research has confirmed CH wisdom in the matter of which kinds of women are more likely to cheat.

To help, researchers from Florida State University have identified some of the key predictors for infidelity, based on a three-year-long analysis of the marital behaviours of 233 newlyweds.

Ok, great start, half-decent N. But as usual, the rag doesn’t link to the original study, so I don’t know if this is based on self-report answers. If it is, take the results with a flat of salt.

Surprisingly, they found that those who were satisfied with sex in their relationship were more likely to cheat on their partner, possibly because they “felt more positive about sex in general”, the study suggests.

Pomo poopytalk. This is the high libido effect, which in men means the Coolidge Effect.

Age, attractiveness and sexual history all have a crucial part to play, too, they found. In addition to those who were sexually satisfied in their relationship, younger people and less attractive women were also found to be more likely to be unfaithful.

Options = instability (younger people — really, younger women — have more options, so they have more temptations).

What about the seemingly contradictory finding that less attractive women are higher cheat risks? This is explained by the inherent instability of LSMV partnerships. Plain Janes are usually hitched to boring asexual beta mediocrities who are nonetheless reliable emotional tampons and open wallets. Beautiful women may get more attention (and have more tryst options), but they also are more likely to have a relationship with a high value man who gives them both the alpha fux and the beta bux, tamping down their urge to illicitly merge. Given the sexual market reality of men fucking “across and down” (and women dating “across and up”), it’s not surprising that average looking women would have both access to alpha males willing to pump and dump them *and* the motivation to seek out that exciting extracopulatory affair.

This is why, btw, sluts are more often than not less attractive than their peers. Sluts NEED to be slutty to get laid; no man will invest his energy into an unattractive chaste woman. Men WILL invest in chaste hot babes, because the payoff is so much higher.

And ladies, there’s useful info for you too.

The same was not true for men, who were conversely more likely to cheat when their partners were less attractive.

Men have to find that balance between a less attractive but no muss, no fuss woman, and a more attractive but harder-to-get woman. Men who choose the former are more apt to cheat to fulfill their desire for the latter.

The researchers found that men who had a higher number of short-term sexual relationships prior to marriage were less likely to stay faithful whereas women in this same category were less likely to cheat.

Sociosexuality 101. If you like to fuck around, marriage ain’t gonna stop ya. At best, it might slow ya down. As for the second part of that finding, I call bullshit. Every study I’ve seen to date has found the opposite — that women with lotsa cocksas under their felt prior to marriage were a much greater cheating and divorce risk in marriage.

One plausible explanation for the latter finding that isn’t explored by the researchers: women who had racked up many short-term sexual relationships prior to marriage got married later in life, when their SMV was well into its decline, inhibiting their ability to act on their urge to cheat.

The research did, however, find two techniques which could minimise the chances of infidelity occurring; ‘attentional disengagement’, and ‘evaluative devaluation’ of potential romantic partners.

Those with higher levels of attentional disengagement (avoiding thinking about a potential romantic partner’s attractiveness) and evaluative devaluation (downplaying the potential partner’s attractiveness in their mind) were less likely to cheat.

AKA meta-death.

Ironically, ‘evaluative devaluation’ is a fancy term for an Inner Game technique to help men approach hot babes. Mentally priming oneself to view women as interchangeable makes it easier to hit on any one of them, because “another is always right around the corner”. As Outer Game, evaluative devaluation takes the form of DQs (teasing disqualifications of girls for not meeting your standards), negs about girls’ beauty (“nice eyes, especially the left one”), and self-DQs (“hey now, don’t get the wrong idea, you’re not my type”).

***

Update

I located a link to the original study. A couple of additional thoughts I have now that I know better what exactly the study concludes about cheating predictors.

Another predictor of infidelity was attractiveness. A person’s own attractiveness was negatively associated with infidelity among women but not men—meaning less attractive women were more likely to have an affair.

Like I wrote above, less attractive women are more likely to have settled way below their ideal, which makes alternative romantic possibilities more enticing. Not so for men. Less attractive men are more likely to be in a relationship with the best looking woman they can get; one, because men aim high when they have to sacrifice their natural male urge to polygyny and two, because women are holistic mate assessors and will choose long-term lovers based on a multitude of male SMV factors that include but are far from limited to his physical looks. What this means in practice is that less attractive men are more *grateful* for their main squeezes, and thus less inclined to risk losing it all on an infidelity.

A partner’s attractiveness was negatively associated with infidelity among men but not women—meaning men were more likely to be unfaithful when their partners were less attractive.

Ok, this is cheating risk assessment based on partner looks rather than one’s own looks. And it comports with CH wisdom: men hitched to hot babes won’t risk losing them to a dalliance (and those men are already getting great sex since male sexual fulfillment is directly proportional to female lover beauty). But men hitched to unattractive women (or to women those men perceive being below the best they can get) will think a lot about cheating with more attractive women.

A person’s history of sex was a predictor of infidelity, too. Men who reported having more short-term sexual partners prior to marriage were more likely to have an affair, while the opposite was true for women.

Another possibility occurred to me that may explain this study’s unintuitive (and stand-alone) finding that women who have more short-term sexual partners prior to marriage were less likely to have a marital affair. It could be simply that these are the lower value women who got pumped and dumped a lot by men, and when they finally found a doting beta to wife them up they were overjoyed at their good fortune and, like the men in LTRs with hot babes, wouldn’t dare risk it all on a momentary illicit fling.

Did Kehinde Wiley Slip A Sperm Into Obama’s Portrait?

Kehinde Wiley, gay black obama’s gay black portraitist (chosen by obama, mind you), is known for hiding sperms in his paintings.

So did he leave a little jizzlet in the gay mulatto’s official Presidential portrait? It sounds too crazy to be true, but the evidence says, YES! Via KingGoy:

A hale and hearty LOL. The effete mulatto takes Reggie Love’s money shot.

I wonder if the mincing mulatto knew beforehand about Wiley’s sperm plug-in? I’d put it at even odds that he did, and that the both of them shared a subversive giggle before the unveiling. Although it would be funnier if the rainbow mulatto didn’t know about the sperm, and found out later through an aide who reads maul-right websites. He’d probably decide to keep it the official portrait, given his fondness for kitschy black flamer art.

Culturally uncloseted gay homosexual artists have a history of peppering their works with barely-concealed phalluses and subliminal sexual messages, so the lurking sperm in the gay mulatto’s portrait would not be out of character for a gay shartist.

Fitting, that our (Trump-willing) first and last affirmative action president will be remembered for the load of poz dribbling down his troubled brow.

HA:

Well….glad that mistake is getting fixed pic.twitter.com/akvK5vKju7

— B. Wood (@DirtyKallahanX) February 13, 2018

HAHA:

HAHAHA:

Stunning. pic.twitter.com/cTsMdfqfzT

— Josef Bosch (@deplorableish) February 12, 2018

***

@thoma-valiant eviscerates the subtext and spermtext of the portrait,

Shitty pomo style? Check.  Shitty nig-supremacy ethic? Check.  Faggotry? Quadruple check.  Clashing, garish colors? Check. Beta pose?  Hahahahaha, check.  Created by coolie labor?  Check.

It’s some kind of Clown World masterpiece really. A self own on top of a self own on top of a giant middle finger to the American nation.

Every day brings a fresh batch of normies to the American Heritage Revolution. Thanks, Gay Mulatto!

Spot The Beta Ex-President (And His Giant Middle Finger To Heritage America)

This is The Gay Mulatto’s presidential portrait. Now where have we seen that coverhand* before? Ah yes.

…hands clasped in front of their crotches — is the international symbol of beta maleness. It bespeaks a deep shame of their vestigial masculinity. They cover their junk and hide it from the world, in case some ugly State U cunt is triggered by a micro microaggression. Shocked by the impudence of their twitching members, they beat them down and shroud them in hand-woven burqas. Perhaps one or two of these anti-men walk with their butts out a little so any hint of groinal protuberance is pruned, like an unwelcome sapling that has dared to reach for sunlight over an expanse of lawn sod with feminist armpit hair.

*Coverhand: when the hands are positioned to conceal the radiating aura of a man’s power — his crotch — from view. Usually indicative of a nervous tic or low self-esteem, especially when in the company of women.

Horrible art, btw, in both style and substance. All sorts of skewed perspectives, a cartoonish (i.e., African) color palette, and that try-hard deep thinker pose. So Fake. Has the Gay Mulatto ever had a facial expression that wasn’t marred by a vapid smug affectation? “And unto this, Conan, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow…” Yeah, no. Barry is not Conan. For one, Conan was less comically vain.

A visual comparison of a long line of previous President portraits should help throw into lark relief the amateurish and retina-scraping WE WAZ ROUSSEAUian gay mulatto addition to the lineage.

Zoomable link.

The bitter halfbreed born of an alcoholic absentee father and a manjawed EatLaySlut Globalist Girl clearly hates Heritage America, otherwise he would not have gone out of his way to choose a portrait “artist” who would render Obama as a figurative middle finger to the White men who came before him.

An emailer: “It’s Obama in his natural habitat, surrounded by homegrown ganja!”

Hah.

It gets better worse. Michelle’s portrait:

Interesting hair choice recapitulates White Hair Privilege and expertly hides her over-muscled traps. Note: looks nothing like The First Linebacker.

The Gay Mulatto disgraced the Office, in Boomercuck-ese, and he’s proud to let you know how little regard he has for it.

Want nightmare fuel? The obamas aren’t a one-off. As America’s demographics succumb to the Hued Wave, the obama portrait is the first of many more, increasingly ugly and primitive, presidential portraits to come. Final portrait, if the Trumpening fails to stem the invasion:

***

While I’m on the subject of Yet Another Sign of America’s Decline, obama’s portrait artist, Kehinde Wiley, is a blackity black man whose portfolio contains these Love Wins rorschach tests:

Let’s play a game: Reverse the Races. Imagine the shitlib media reaction if a White artist hired by Trump to paint his portrait had also painted White women holding the severed heads of blacks.

I’m guessing mass chimpouts and CNN dispensing with the veneer and just scrolling FUK YT across the screen. NPR would have had a special roundtable to call for a renewed “national conversation about race”, aka “Ugh White People, again”.

The Cat Lady Culmination

We may have reached the apotheosis of cat ladydom. A couple photographed themselves as the “mom” gave “birth” to a kitten.

This would be mildly amusing if these two were actually poking fun of the cat lady culture, instead of implicitly poking fun of “breeders” as this type is wont to call people who have human children. But no, they’re not kidding around about their embrace of the cat lady/cat lad lifestyle. Proof:

But one couple who recently [adopted a kitten] decided to let the world know about their furry new family member in the most unforgettable way. […]

Photographer Lucy Schultz and her partner, Steven, don’t have any kids of their own…

WOMB, there it isn’t. Looking at her, it’s not as if she’s got years left to contemplate having a real child. The clock on her egg factory is set to expire. Maybe they can psyche themselves up for the coming regimen of IVF treatments (using a buck’s sperm) by fondly looking back at these photos for encouragement.

And he looks like he’s about one tofu niblet away from his testicles burrowing back under his fupa.

“I’d been talking about doing a kitten announcement shoot when I was finally ready to adopt for over a year,” Schultz told The Dodo. “I just wanted to celebrate my cat adoption milestone as it’s something I’ve looked forward to for such a long time.”

It took her a year to decide to adopt a fucking cat? How many years will it take her to decide on the real thing? No wonder these shitlib Whites are going extinct at a rapid clip.

Schultz enlisted the help of her colleague, photographer Elizabeth Woods-Darby. The two have worked together documenting human births…

A woman’s maternal instinct has to be pathologically underdeveloped if she photographs human births as a career and still doesn’t feel the urge herself.

The photo shoot is certainly comical, but there’s nothing insincere about how much love they have for their new pet.

Two minutes after they die (from toxoplasma gondii complications), this cat would be gutting them and slurping up the pools of blood.

Hilarity aside, Schultz hopes it might inspire others to grow their own families with a pet in need of love:

“My message to everyone who is digging these photos is to check out your local shelter, consider volunteering or become a foster home and consider adopting one of the amazing homeless pets out there!”

This is how the world ends, not with a bang but a whisker.

Cucumber In Her Tailpipe Game

This clip is from a British dating show. Like all reality shows, it’s likely staged and scripted (in full or in part). However, if there’s any ad libbing going on, and the participants’ reactions look unrehearsed, then there’s a nugget of life lessons we can extract for our benefit.

Fair play to @@MikeThalassitis, he’s snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. #CelebsGoDating pic.twitter.com/ZvzJLmeQGu

— E4 (@E4Tweets) February 5, 2018

I’ll admit I laughed. The whole way through. Good writers, or this guy is funny af.

So much great jerkboy Game on display. In before the “only looks matter” loser crü, yes I know /ourGreek/ is handsome. Which is why operators paired him off with a hard 9. But before you lament your droopy jawline, console yourself that the jerkish charm of the Greek would work just as well for any man. If you’re like most men and you have average looks, you could parrot the Greek’s patter to similar effect on girls — doggy dinner bowl face. Now I’m not claiming an ugly man can nab a 9 by talking like this (and with the same ZFG confidence); instead I’m telling you that an ugly man can nab better looking girls with “Cucumber in her tailpipe” Game than the girls he would normally attract just being his anxious uglyman self.

A quick rundown of Greek’s Game:

0:00 — Greek follows the “two in the kitty” Poon Commandment.

0:18 — “You look nice tonight,” while picking his nose. Very rare verbal-nonverbal mixed signal neg.

0:24-0:29 — She drops her first shit test. “Up here please”. He passes it with flying colors. (A betadroid would have apologized for his impudence.)

0:30-0:47 — She hits him with her second shit test, and it’s a doozy (calling him stupid). Again, he passes it easily by resorting (in so many words) to the classic CH Game technique Agree&Amplify. At 0:46, you see the effect his ZFG insouciance it has on her (it lights up her face).

0:48 — He flips the script and challenges her to a battle of wits. Now she has to qualify herself to him. (Remember a key Game concept: when a girl feels like she’s chasing, she’s tingling.)

0:52 — He plays a childish word game. She eagerly complies. That’s our hero’s first compliance hoop, which she jumped through no questions asked. Chicks dig children’s games.

1:10 — she thinks she’s zinged him, but he turns the tables on her when he teases her for “ruining” the game. At this point, you can practically hear the splooge coleecting on her seat.

1:14 — HER: “cause I’m just cleveeeeerrr” HIM: “hmm”. Nuclear Neg. (You don’t have to say much to get your neg across.)

***

A pause to remind the studio audience that hard 8s and above require at least two solid negs and preferably three or more to sufficiently lower their bitch shields and open their limbic lobes to the romantic possibilities with you. Plain Janes would wilt under an assault of negs, and ugly girls would cry. This is Mystery style Game 101, and you can see it in action here.

***

1:22 — Aaaaand Neg #3! She tells him she’s a beauty contest winner, and he asks how many women entered that competition, (implying that her win wouldn’t be impressive if there were two other girls).

1:30 — She spends some time trying to DHV him with her plans to become Miss England. Instead of groveling before her beauty like a beta would do, he (figuring out quickly what she was up to) simply alters the subject to be about her surname.

1:45 — Him, describing his surname, “stands for seaman”. He says it with a straight face, too, which makes it funnier. Best part is the follow-up; without losing a beat, he describes in detail the confusion that she might be feeling about the meaning of “seaman”. This is a critical juncture of the date, because what he’s done here is akin to NLP (subliminal language): he’s planted sex thoughts in her mind and now she won’t stop thinking about sex with him.

1:55 — She asks him twice if he speaks Greek, first time in English, second time in Greek. This is a challenge, and he knows it. Instead of a direct response (aka the dancing monkey response), he replies with his own question, asking her if she speaks Greek. She says yes. and this gives him the opening (heh) to showcase a truly stellar example of pure uncaring ZFG asshole Game — watch his face for what amused mastery looks like in action — and he asks her in Greek if she’d want a cucumber up her bum.

2:04 — POOF goes the hamster. Her face at this moment is that perfect mix of anger and arousal. Remember the CH maxim: The opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference. She calls him a wanker. That’s when he knows he has her.

2:07 — If a beta male was called a wanker by a girl, he would turtle and either beg forgiveness or try to save face by excusing his behavior as the fault of his waning sobriety or the fault of her not getting the joke. HAHA JUST KIDDING. No no no, this is why betas fail with beautiful women. /ourGreek/ knows the score; instead of getting trapped in a recursive loop of betafying behavior, he quickly and unceremoniously announces he’s ready to go and she’d better hurry and down her drink. This accomplishes three objectives: it shows he cares not a whit for her opinion (which raises his SMV relative to hers), it disrupts her thought process (she thinks she has hand, but now she doesn’t), and it reinforces the dynamic he wants which is her chasing his approval and his momentum instead of the usual way these things go.

2:16 — “I’m gonna play Flappy Bird while you drink that”. Silly non sequiturs are an integral part of pickup, best used right at the moment you’ve brought a girl up to the line of genuine anger. The sudden and unpredictable humor of this non sequitur completely deflates her previous ire over his demands on her to hurry up and finish drinking.

2:25 — It just gets better. /ourGreek/ is putting on a Game clinic. Sensing her anti-slut defense system gearing up for duty (which is understandable given that he basically told her to wrap it up so they can get home and bang), he disqualifies himself as a sexual possibility when he tells her she’s drunk and he “doesn’t want to take advantage of her” so he’ll call her a cab. What does this do to a girl’s frame of reference? For one, it rejiggers her self-identification from “I’m a hottie every man wants to fuck” to “This guy wants to send me home and he’s been teasing me all night…am I not hot enough for him?”

2:37 — Final shit test. She tells him she’s going home after the date. He replies “No I’m not, you are.” Not exactly a reply that makes sense with a second thought, but it works because it again takes the decision-making ball away from her. If there’s to be sex, he’s implying, it’ll be him who decides.

2:40 — “Are you ready [to leave together]?” He can tell from her face that she won’t turn down his final offer.

2:45 — She says goodbye. He continues following her as if he didn’t hear her. Bold move.

End scene, he softens her up with conventional chit chat just before the timing is right to execute a simultaneous leaning-in and kiss close.